Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature

Editor

o 's No

N t

o e

The original novel of Human Nature, as presented here, features the Seventh Doctor as played on television by by Paul Cornel

Sylvester McCoy.

Coincidentally, it also features someone pretending to be the Tenth Doctor, in a scene that didn't make it into the

televised version.

If you're not familiar with this version, written with a Il ustrated by Daryl Joyce

slighter older readership in mind, expect a few deviations from the adventure as seen on TV.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'That's what all his conquests think, all those young girls ruined in their prime. His reputation should preclude him from the Institute.'

'Reputations!' roared Alexander, causing the two ladies

to jump guiltily from each other's ear. 'Reputations are made and broken in British archaeology on the matter of Bronze Age burials. Are we looking at a matriarchal

culture, the kind of thing that led to Boadicea's easy assumption of the reins of power... or do we deal with Pre

r lud

u e

chieftains?' He had stood up now, pacing back and forth before the curtains of the little front room in the sunshine.

'Perhaps the inhabitants of long barrows are not even Alexander Shuttleworth leaned back in the easy chair warriors, but priests... Oh, hullo, Wolsey.'

and drummed his fingers rhythmically on his stomach.

'You may call it cake,' he told his small audience, He bent to smooth back the ears of the tabby cat that regarding the small saucer with the last few crumbs that was rubbing itself against his ankles. sat on his lap, 'but it goes beyond cake. Call it

Ultrasponge, Victoria Maximus, empress of icing sugar.'

'She's quite infra dig herself, of course.' The older

woman had quietly resumed her conversation with her The ladies of Joan Redfern's WI group looked at him and fellow. 'Mrs. Redfern, I mean. A thoroughly decent sort.'

then at each other nervously. A few giggled or laughed in

a more civilised fashion. Alexander felt as if he was

'Mrs?' The younger woman was surprised. addressing a flock of sheep in hatpins.

'Widow. Her husband died in the campaign against the

'Well, Mr. Shuttleworth,' Joan began, replacing her own Boer.'

plate delicately on the table, 'may we move on to the

subject of our talk for today, The Archaeology of the

'And do you think that she has plans to civilise the Bronze Age?'

notorious Mr. Shuttleworth?'

One of the ladies leaned over to her friend and

'Goodness, no! I hope not, anyhow. If she aims to whispered in her ear. 'I can't imagine what Joan was remarry then I'm sure she must pick a more honourable thinking of, inviting that man into our circle. One might soul. I have heard that she is linked to Mr. Rocastle, her as well call upon the Serbs to come and ravage us all.'

employer.'

'Oh, I don't know,' the younger woman replied. 'I think

'The headmaster? He's a bit stiff.'

he's quite sweet.'

'He doesn't go up in flying machines carrying piglets, if that's what you mean.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

feeling of association without any real connection - with The younger woman stared at her, open-mouthed. 'How Dr. John Smith, Joan's new colleague at the school, the did you come to hear of that? I was ever so slightly history teacher. Joan had woken up from that sleep squiffy, but -'

feeling quite flushed but refreshed, as if something pure

and distant had come to her like a falling star.

'Piglets!' called Shuttleworth, standing to his full height

once more. 'Sheep! And even horse skulls have been Inspiration, in its most literal sense had filled her, and found in burial mounds. Now, were these animals owned the notion it brought that morning was that, for the first by the incumbents?'

time in several years, she no longer felt quite so alone.

Joan was following his gestures politely sipping at her Dr. Smith was small and Scottish, from Aberdeen as a tea, but her thoughts were elsewhere. Last night she had matter of fact, and he had a charmingly mobile face. Full had a dream. She taught science at Hulton College and of laughter. If it ever stayed still, it would present a truly she disliked it, all those chemical mixtures, and no idea terrible image, a frightening strength. But it never did of anything behind it. Like the world was reductable to stop moving. That would be bad, if it stopped. Like a simple elements. She wasn't tremendously fond of the tiger. As it stood he was the sort of man that one wanted open declamation of ethics and, while watching all those to mother. Very vulnerable, but with that potential to be young boys destined to be military officers mixing exceedingly strong. A tiger cub, then. chemicals, she often associated the two. Two parts this

to one part that, God and country and a straight back.

'Cubs, and their master -' Alexander stopped, turned a No inner knowledge of what made these things elements, fraction, and looked down at Joan, puzzled. 'I say, I no questioning of how God's goodness translated into haven't said anything too risqu&eacute;, have I?'

things like patriotism and bravery.

'No...' Joan flinched, broken out of her daydream. 'Why Maybe when she met Arthur again in heaven she'd gain do you say that, Mr. Shuttleworth?'

an understanding of the greater things, but for now she

hated honour and sacrifice, the things that had made

'Because, my dear, you're blushing.'

him die proudly. She knew the other women linked her

and Rocastle. He'd proposed, the foolish man. That had

'Oh.' Joan picked up Wolsey, and smoothed his fur, made her life harder. But she had her dream. She'd aware of the eyes of the other women on her. 'It's a dreamt of the constellations, of Orion hunting the medical condition.'

animals. Amongst them was a new one, a group made

up of stars from here and there, with two red nebulous hearts. A man had stood looking, staring up at Orion with a mixture of awe and whimsy on his face; a very British expression. He seemed also to be looking down at the spring of 1914.

What had made this dream memorable was that the constellation was in some way associated - this was the unique thing about dreams, that they could suggest the 7

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Pro

r loog

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'they seem, in places, to address me so directly it's almost uncomfortable'

'either the wallow in the sudden realisation that every single sad song in the world is written for me alone, or the overwhelming, distracting power of a lot of very loud noise'

From the diary of Prof Bernice Summerfield

Long ago and far away. That's one way of looking at it. But I still sat on the edge of the bathtub and bit my knuckles.

I'm trying to ignore it, and I hope you are as well. An unfortunate episode. If Ace was here, I could say to her:

'Yes, I understand it now, once again. I remember that grief is like having somebody sit on your chest and punch you in the face.' Pain is always forgotten. That's what allows us to have babies. It is a pity she's not here, actually, because now we have so much more in common.

Post-It note covering the above

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

I will not become maudlin. This is all meaningless. I met I wanted rather desperately to touch him, hug him or someone called Guy, he took on overwhelming odds and something, but everything about him said that that then he happened to die. May have died. Did die. wouldn't be a good idea. He seemed embarrassed about Perhaps.

seeing me, which wasn't really him at all. If I didn't know

better, I'd say that he was thinking as hard about the Post-It note covering the above

last five minutes of Guy's life as I was.

'These words are not my own they only come when I'm Post-It note covering the above

alone'

Summerfield, B.S. Subject: Human Nature: 3/10, must Post-It note covering the above

try harder. (The 'Human' is crossed out and then

replaced. There is evidence of correcting fluid.) Those five minutes... I remember seeing the look on

Clive's face when he heard that a dear friend of his had From the diary of Prof Bernice Summerfield hanged himself. The most frightening thing I've ever

seen. Because it was so different. I didn't think that I We wandered into the console room, me still trying to could make that face if I tried. What was so bad was that think of some way to break the ice. One of the many Clive had suddenly, in that moment, discovered how to. trivial things I'd been doing over the last few days was to Now I can do it too.

try and repair my portable history unit. It's a little

screen that lets you access archives while in the field. From the diary of Prof Bernice Summerfield Or, in my case, while in the bath. Normally you'd need

an account with whatever library you're accessing, but,

'Aren't there any alien monsters we can go and destroy?'

with a bit of help from one of those beardie-weirdie I asked the Doctor, on one of the few occasions when I computer experts you trip over in spaceports, I'd put met him in the TARDIS corridors. I mean, granted, I'd together a program that makes the library think you're a been hiding away for a few weeks, and I looked so white member. The thing broke down, of course, just before that you could put a tail on me and call me Flopsy, but Heaven, and I'd been carrying it in my luggage ever he'd been hiding too. He hadn't followed up on his since. So, as part of my great campaign to do things, I pledge to take me to Blackpool, or somewhere else had hefted one of the Doctor's folding work-tables into exciting. He'd just become sad, at exactly the time I the console room and set about dismantling the thing, needed him to be happy. Whenever I'd gone into the on and off, with gaps for tea and crying. console room, he'd been absent, and at night I'd just

hear the occasional cry from one of those terrible As we entered the console room, then, I was surprised to nightmares of his.

see the unit sitting atop the folding table, complete and

repaired. I picked it up and switched it on, while the

'Alien monsters...' he mused now, tapping his finger on Doctor glanced offhandedly at various monitors on the the tip of his nose. 'No. They're all gone. Little Johnny console. He'd repaired the unit's hardware, but the Piper - no, sorry, different train of thought. No alien programming was all over the place. Travelling through monsters, I'm afraid.' He had that troubled look about the time vortex isn't the best place to deal in electronic his eyes, and wouldn't quite look at me. media, of course. It's like trying to follow a soap opera

that's being performed on a series of trains as they 11

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

speed by, while other trains with different stories... well, sorts of useful stuff about the system you're it's difficult, all right? Anyhow, the Doctor had investigating.'

succeeded in creating some weird protocols, with new

files half set-up all over the place, and error messages

'No wonder your cakes are so awful.' I grabbed a cushion demanding attention everywhere.

and sat down facing him.

'The ducks like them.'

I pressed a few buttons and cleared everything,

discovering, to my relief, that the Doctor had got the

'The ducks are programmed to like them. Besides, it all thing functioning correctly at least. I turned to him, sounds rather dangerous to me. You can get terribly grateful to have something to ask him about. 'Thanks for hurt, mucking around like that. I prefer to read the fixing this up.'

manual from cover to cover, hopefully in the bath with a

good bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.'

He glanced up from the console. 'I just wanted to work

out what it was... how it worked. I reversed the polarity

'Mmmm...' The Doctor frowned again, and jumped up. of the communications coil, by the way, so you can write He started to pace around the console once more, into archives too, but to do that I had to connect it tapping controls seemingly at random. Maybe it was me through the TARDIS information processors, because I using the words 'terribly hurt' that had set him off again. know how to work with those. So you might get

information from the past. Or the future. Which in some God, I was being careful of his feelings!

cases wouldn't be a good idea, so don't use it when we

land anywhere. Please.'

His glance fastened on a monitor and an uneasy grin

spread over his features. 'Found it. Good girl.' He tapped I sighed. 'So you repaired it so well that I can't use it?'

a few buttons and straightened up. 'There's a planet

called Crex in the Augon system. They have a market

'Repaired? Oh, did it need repairing?'

there. Would you like to go?'

I smiled, which was good. I got the feeling that the I had the feeling that saying no would invalidate several module was a sort of present. 'What have you been doing days' worth of hovering in the vortex. 'A sort of in the last few days, then?'

spacecraft boot sale? Is there something particular

you're after?'

'Jigsaws. Chinese cookery. I made clay models. Of the

Zygons. I did what I normally do when I'm investigating

'A white elephant. Maybe a pink one.'

something... with your unit, I mean. I dived in and

messed it up. Threw away the manual, ignored the notes

'Is this an item or an acquaintance?

and laughed in the face of Balloon Help.' He left the

console, and perched in the wicker chair, his hands He paused for a moment, and then smiled one of his folded into a spire. 'That's what I did with the TARDIS

more dangerous secret smiles. 'Both.'

when I first got her. You can't do everything for a long

time. In the case of the TARDIS, for far too long. But The TARDIS materialised with that noise it has (sorry, when you do get where you want to go, you've learnt all I've never been able to come up with a good description) amidst a tight little knot of stalls, under the shade of 13

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

purple silks and great canopies of striped fabric. The In the middle distance I glimpsed the solution to our first thing that caught my attention as the Doctor locked problem. 'Tell you what,' I said, pointing. 'I'll meet you the door behind us was the smell, a wonderfully jumbled over there.'

mixture of spices and cooking scents, a hundred

different cultures in one place.

Nobody seemed to bat an eyelid at the TARDIS landing. They must have been fairly used to materialisations. The Doctor raised his umbrella like an aerial, and turned it and his nose until he'd settled on a direction. 'This way.'

He walked off in a straight line, tossing a memory module from the TARDIS databanks in his hand thoughtfully.

I followed him through the masses of alien species, both humanoid and otherwise, their bargainings and gestures and laughter merging in one great shout. Felt odd to be out and about, a bit vulnerable. Shrugged it off. The Doctor led the way to a little hillock, its surface once grassy, but now a churned patch of mud. He pulled me after him up to the top of it, and from there we got a good look at the whole market.

It went on for miles, all the way to one cloudy horizon, a

brilliant jumble of tents and awnings. The other way, it The beer tent seems to be a universal icon, and one, to petered out a bit in the direction of some mountains, paraphrase a recent acquaintance, about which I may and a big dark square with some buildings indicated a write a short monograph one day. The atmosphere's rough spaceport. 'It's wonderful,' I opined. 'How did it always different to a pub or a bar, slightly edgy and hot start?'

under the canvas, relaxed and cool outside. You see

more undone buttons and exposed podge outside a beer

'Tax concessions.' The Doctor was still turning like a tent than anywhere short of the Flaborama on Boojus 5. weather vane. His eyes suddenly focused on something I bought a pint of The Admiral's Old Antisocial at the, in the distance. He nodded, and then turned to me. 'I'll thankfully currency-unspecific, bar, and wandered out be gone for an hour. Maybe two. I'll find you.'

to the plastic tables.

'What, in that lot?'

Now, you may well be thinking: 'Beer? What a terrible

idea. That's no solution.' I would reply that you're wrong.

'Back at the TARDIS then.' He seemed eager to get away, It's a solution of hops, barley and yeast, and it is so flustered and impatient.

transcendently wonderful that I long ago made the

decision to sacrifice any chance of trim thighs in favour of it.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Company is always an issue at this juncture. There's no

'Your round, Lucy,' Sarah told her, placing her empty point, in my view, in being a solitary drinker. You can do glass definitively down on the table.

that at home, given a certain degree of sadness which I

wouldn't dream of sinking to. Usually. Well, three out of

'You're not exactly svelte either,' Lucy replied, reaching ten times. And it's been a difficult time for me lately. for the glasses and winking.

Anyway, there were the usual tables of dangerous looking space pirates, penniless backpackers with their I smiled at that, too. 'Same again, please,' I said. As soon glasses of iced water, and traders waving their hands as Lucy had departed, Jac told Sarah that the woman and complaining that business wasn't what it once was. was a Psychology tutor, who'd been here for a month, Most of them were aliens of some sort. waiting for an interplanetary lift that never seemed to

arrive.

Therefore, it was with a rather xenophobic sort of glee

that I came across a table whose occupants were doubly Well, that was a familiar story, and I went on to tell interesting. They were A: human and B: female. They them some of my own history. As regular readers of my looked like they all came from different places, and had diary (if that's you, Doctor, put it down now) know, there clustered together out of the familiar realisation that are certain portions of my life that I can't readily account internal gonads are best, actually. So I sat down and for. I tend to gloss over these with a post-it note, but on introduced myself. Professor Bernice Summerfield, FRAS

this occasion I have enough recollections to fill a page, (Fairly Rotten At Scrabble), current occupier of the disconnected as they may be. I said all these things, but Proxima University Chair Of Archaeology (it's in my some of the words may be in the wrong order. room, by the begonias), holder of the Martian Gallantry

Medal (I found one and thought I thoroughly deserved Pint two: I'm arguing with them. 'But that's ridiculous. it). They were suitably impressed. They laughed out You can't expect an internal market to operate for any loud.

extended period of time - '

'Jac,' said a young woman with short hair and Pint three: They're laughing at me. 'There is not a God!

interesting ear-rings. 'I'm here researching the origins of Listen, if this coin lands on the same side... several the market for Ellerycorp. They're thinking of doing times... then - '

something similar.' She introduced the others. There

was another short-haired woman with the eyes of a Pint four: They're falling over themselves, holding up Traveller Priestess, who was called Sarah. I don't think I their hands like anglers talking about the fish that got ever found out why she was there. And there was a away. 'Short and stubby. Well, I've only ever feisty-looking woman with tanned olive skin, wearing an encountered five of them, but - what are you laughing assortment of charity shop relics that she somehow at? Did I say something funny?'

made stylish. She was looking at me with a world-weary

expression that I found instantly charming, her head Pint five: They're listening intently, nodding every now propped up on one hand.

and then. 'So we had to go away. There were so many of

them. I think... I hope it was quick for him.'

'How's it going?' she asked. For a moment I thought of

telling her. But no. 'Fine.'

Pint six: Sarah is looking at me, concerned and sweet.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'It's not far from here, really. Just a quick hopper ride terrible was about to happen and he had to be in a over the hill. I've got this really great Alcorian wine that particular place when it did.

you ought to try. And we could, you know, just hang

around for a while. Play tennis. What do you think?'

'Could I have a few of those patches?' I asked, still

banjaxed by my instant sobriety. 'They're already my The next thing I knew, a familiar hand was tapping me favourite bit of TARDIS equipment.'

on the shoulder, and something cold attached itself to

my cheek. I was thinking about Sarah's offer, and I tried

'Yes. No. I don't know, it isn't important!' The Doctor to swat the hand away like a fly, but then, suddenly-turned a corner, saw the TARDIS ahead and broke into a I was utterly sober.

run. He fumbled the door open and leapt inside, diving

at the co-ordinate keyboard and tapping in instructions I unpeeled the medi-patch that the Doctor had slapped faster than I could follow. 'Catch!' he called, and threw on to my cheek and looked up at him. 'What - ?'

me a rolled-up scroll. I noted that it was sealed with his

thumbprint.

'Alcohol dispersion pad. We haven't got much time, and

there's a lot you need to know.' He grabbed my hand The TARDIS doors closed, and the familiar take-off and pulled me to my feet.

sound began. The central column started to rise and fall.

'The letter will tell you everything!' the Doctor shouted.

'Hey...' Sarah said foggily, gazing up at me. 'Wait a

'And pay attention to the list! See you in three months!

minute...'

Eck.'

'Leave her alone!' Jac was halfway to her feet. 'Who is The last was a little click from his throat, like something this guy?'

switching itself off. The Doctor's eyes flicked back to

their normal colour. Then he closed them, and his

'It's all right,' I reassured them. 'He's a friend.' I felt mouth twisted into a giddy smile.

suddenly rather foolish, as if my dad had arrived to pick

me up. Rather awkwardly, I shook Sarah's hand. Then he fell into a crumpled heap.

'Thanks for being so nice. I appreciated the offer.'

A red ball rolled from his pocket, and settled in one She shrugged. 'No problem. I hope it all works out.' 'It comer of the console room.

will,' I told her. But then I glanced at the Doctor.

'Doctor?' I ran to his side, and checked his pulses. One

'Quickly,' he said.

seemed to have stopped altogether. The other was

racing. My first impulse was to rush him straight into His pupils were glowing silver. I got the feeling that it the TARDIS medical bay, but I restrained myself. I broke wasn't going to be that easy.

the seal on the scroll and quickly read the several sheets

it contained. 'Oh no...' I groaned when I'd finished, I let the Doctor lead me back to the TARDIS. He was flopping back against the console. I turned to address walking quickly, urgently. I glanced back to see if he was the unconscious, still grinning, body. 'I may have being followed, but that wasn't it. He was walking like he remarked on this on several occasions in the past, but was about to explode or throw up, as if something let me say it definitively this time. You are such a git!'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

And, feeling a bit better, I left him there and headed for

'I told her she couldn't...' Greeneye looked around again, the wardrobe room.

stopping himself. 'Get up to her usual tricks. But

quickly now, have you prepared the tunnel?'

This adventure was going to require a serious frock.

'All is ready. Are the others here?'

Diary Entry Ends

'We are here!' a hissing voice emanated from the hopper.

***

A dark figure in a wide-brimmed hat jumped to the

ground, and pointed a white glove at the old man. 'If you A solemn old humanoid with a grey beard stood outside have failed, Laylock, I shall make you suffer. You know I a tent in the marketplace. He put his hand up to shade shall.'

his eyes against the setting sun. Out of it, from the

direction of the spaceport, a hopper was approaching.

'Don't threaten me, Serif. You wouldn't harm your own With a great shouting and a roar of turbos, it descended flesh.'

next to the tent, and the old man walked forward to

greet the occupants.

'Wouldn't I?' Serif glanced at Aphasia, a grin twisting his

mouth. He would have said something more, but The first of them leapt out, dressed in a long cloak and another hopper was approaching. It landed, with a swirl, breeches, his two swords crossed in scabbards across of soil, and two more figures stepped from it. One was a his back. He was a young man, well-muscled and vital. big, bearded man, carrying a huge backpack and His green eyes flashed in happiness as he embraced the wearing a belt from which hung numerous weapons. The old man. 'Well met, my son! You meant what you said in other was a thin, precise-looking man, his hair neatly the message? You finally got one?'

back-combed and his cape enclosing an elegant suit.

'Indeed I have, Greeneye. It has been a long wait, but a

'Good,' he muttered, looking around. 'We're all here. Into Time Lord finally responded to our signal. I had thought the tent then, quickly now. We don't want to attract that we hadn't tried enough channels, but -'

attention.'

'Oh, they heard. Those bastards always hear.' Greeneye They went into Laylock's Emporium, as a sign referred to glanced at the sky involuntarily. 'Are you coming with it. Laylock himself remained outside for a moment, us, then? You've waited so long, it'd be a shame if you glancing about worriedly, before he followed. weren't there for the kill.'

'I wish you wouldn't put it like that.' The old man Inside, the thin man looked around appreciatively. A frowned. He brightened when he saw the latest arrival polished consultation table, with various computer stepping from the hopper. It was a child, a girl of ten or reference devices atop it, stood at the very centre of the so, carrying a balloon. 'Aphasia, my dear daughter, how tent, the big roof spar through the middle of it. Brightly are you?'

coloured canvas avenues led off in all directions, access

to the other tents where the real work was done. Gentle

'I'm not talking,' the girl told him. 'I'm sulking.'

music tinkled throughout. 'Very professional. You've

gone to a lot of trouble.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

bringing in several large packs of equipment. 'We'll need Laylock inclined his head. 'Thank you, August. I've made to keep this link open, so you'll remain here, Laylock. quite a profit in all this time.'

That won't be too much of a burden for you, will it?'

Serif hissed. 'That is unimportant. The cover story has Laylock nodded. 'Thank you.;

been successful, that is all.'

'Any idea of what he got?'

'No, no...' August raised a hand. 'I think it's a great

achievement. It's not as if our own projects haven't

'No, he brought it himself. They often do, those who blossomed in this last decade. Now then, I believe Hoff think of themselves as composers. He'd been in contact thinks that the Time Lords could be tracking us.'

with me for several days, asking for tech specs,

wondering if I could really do what I said I could. I had The big man grunted in the affirmative. 'If they knew to be discreet; I wondered for a while if he was an everything, they might divert an asteroid, cleanse the Intervention Agent.'

whole site.'

'Opek to a Grotzi he is!' muttered Greeneye. 'If this is a

'Well, I disagree with that, they haven't the will these set up - '

days, they'd probably just send an agent. But anyhow,

we really should be going. Lead the way, Laylock.'

'It isn't, I'm certain,' Laylock told him. 'He was going

through real quantum rearrangement effects when he The old man did so, glancing nervously at the roof. left, at any rate.' He handed August a memory pad. 'This

is everything I learnt about him, including a description. The cabinet was a rusty old gothic thing, hidden away I did try to persuade him to give up the pod, but - '

under a cloth in a comer of Laylock's surgical supplies

area. He pulled the cloth aside and slapped a control.

'That's too much to expect, yes.' August clapped his The front of the cabinet, previously a metal door, hands for quiet. 'All right then. This is the best shot dissolved into the butterfly tunnel of the time vortex. we're going to get. Follow me.' He took a deep breath,

'Don't stare into it, daughter.' Greeneye hid Aphasia's pinched his nose, and leapt into the tunnel. He shot off eyes. 'After a while, you see terrible things.'

into the distance, a doll-like figure, buffeted to and fro

until he vanished, his form curling around the path of Aphasia slapped his hand away. 'I want to see terrible the golden thread.

things.'

'Hey!' shouted Aphasia. 'Wait for me!' And she leapt in

'The tracer's working,' Laylock confirmed. 'I activated it too.

as soon as he left. There.' A golden thread snaked down

the vortex tunnel and spiralled off into the distance. Greeneye and Hoff followed, carrying the bundles they'd

'That'll lead you to wherever he's going. Estimated travel brought from the hopper. Before he left, Serif turned and time... about nine weeks.'

pointed at Laylock. 'If you have betrayed us-'

'Yes. Good.' August stared into the tunnel with some

'Of course I haven't, son. Off you go.' Scowling, Serif trepidation. Behind him, Hoff and Greeneye were leapt into the vortex. A moment later, they were all gone. 23

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Laylock patted the cabinet in satisfaction, and threw the cloth back over it. Just the hoppers to hide, and then he

could get back to his regular routine.

He just couldn't shake the terrible feeling that he was being watched.

In the long, dark room, all that could be heard was the ticking of a clock and the occasional snore. Two lines of beds ran along the walls. In them slept boys in their late teens.

But one didn't sleep.

He was sitting up in bed, his hands to his mouth, his eyes staring into the distance. His name was Tim. His mother was dead, and his father, abroad on business, had transferred him to this place.

He'd just had such a dream. A nightmare, full of people and places he'd never seen before. They seemed to address him so directly that it was terrifying.

'I've seen the future,' he whispered. 'And everybody dies.

'

She appeared at the end of his bed then, and showed him her skeletal hands. 'Yes,' she whispered. 'Everybody dies.'

Tim screamed.

Lamps were lit, there were cries of alarm and annoyance, and of course she was gone when the light flooded along the dormitory.

From the window came a great beat of wings. Tim spun and stared.

An owl was flapping off into the night. 25

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Shuttleworth. He was a jolly, bearded fellow in a white colonial suit and a loud tie, the curator of the local museum. 'Sorry!' she called over her shoulder.

'Charmed, dear girl, charmed!' he boomed back. 'I'll take

my medical bills out of your rent!'

Mrs Windrush, her hair bound up in a headscarf and

her mouth full of pegs, waved from her garden, where she was putting out her washing. She was proud of her Ch

C apter rOn

O e

little patch of grass, although she wished that her husband could afford a maid. 'Perhaps next year,' she always said when she and Bernice chatted. They'd been Don't Forget To Catch Me

married a year, and Mrs W kept dropping hints about the pattering of little feet, so it was probably just as well

that Mr W was up for promotion at his office job in Norwich.

Nine weeks later.

Benny had to wait at the T-junction for Mr Hodges'

wagon to trundle by, the horses already sweating in the The bicycle sped down the little cobbled hill, the sunshine. Hodges was a greengrocer, and delivered door juddering motion making the items in its basket leap to door every morning. His and Benny's routines had about, in imminent danger of falling on to the road. become so predictable that they had started to nod at

each other, and complain if the other was late. Bernice didn't care. The sun was up, and, for the first

time in weeks, so were her spirits. The little town of

'Give you a penny for your boots!' he called out this time, Farringham was basking in the glow of a balmy summer winking. Benny smiled back, wondering just how vulgar day, and the sweet smell of roses was wafting across it the catchphrase was. She probably ought to have on the breeze. 'Good morning, Jill! Good morning, blushed.

Jenny!' she called as she whizzed past a row of little

cottages.

Bernice's target was the Lyons teahouse in the centre of

town. A convenient cycle-rack stood on the wall near by,

'Morning, Bernice!' the two housewives chorused. Then which she reached, as she always did, just as the town-they resumed their argument across the fence. This time hall clock was striking its precise twelve o'clock. She it was about an overhanging tree, tomorrow it would be dismounted carefully, remembering when she'd ripped about barking dogs. They liked to argue, it seemed, and the hem out of a skirt by catching it on a pedal. The whenever one of them met Bernice, the other would fashions of 1914 were a lot easier to wear than Victorian wander up, get involved in the conversation and end up gowns would have been, at least. There wasn't any disagreeing with the first.

upholstery under the skirt, and no bustle to deal with.

Electing to be the paragon of fashion today, she'd chosen The bike took the comer at the bottom of the hill far too a (rather extraordinary) black and navy-blue checked fast, and she narrowly missed her landlord, Alexander 27

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

skirt, with a buttoned jacket and lace collar. She had

toyed with the idea of a mourning band, to hint that she The magazine in Benny's hands complimented the was well-connected enough to miss the Duke of Argyll, Kaiser's daughter on her grasp of English as but there was the possibility that somebody would think demonstrated at various English social events that it was more personal than that and ask about it, and month.

that would be too horrid. She untied the ribbon on her

hat, and propped it on the handlebars, shaking her hair Benny shook her head and sighed. She put it out of her extensions to and fro. They still didn't feel natural, but mind and tipped the waitress generously as she handed her own short bob would have required some vast and her her cake.

incredible explanation.

'Excuse me,' a voice asked. 'Could I please sit down?

The teahouse served a wonderful fruit-cake. Benny There isn't anywhere else.'

ordered a slice with her customary pot of tea.

'Of course.' Bernice glanced up. An elegantly dressed,

'Will that be all, madam?' the smartly uniformed painfully thin young woman in a very ornate lace collar waitress asked her.

was standing there. She could only have been seventeen

or so, but her face, as well as being gaunt, was lined

'Yes, thanks. That's a strange accent, where are you with experience. The odd thing was that, a minute from?'

before, Benny had been sure that there were lots of

places free, on tables across the cafe. But now all the

'Germany.' The waitress giggled. 'I am from Baden seats had bags on them. Even the travelling salesman Baden, and I am working here for the summer. Mr had propped his case on the seat opposite him. A great Condon, the manager, he is my uncle.'

many people suddenly seemed to be watching Bernice's

table.

'Oh, right, well, that's... good.' Benny flashed the woman

a smile. She curtsied and went back to the till. Oh no, she thought. It's one of those people.

The other tables held groups of housewives, maids who'd So Benny did what she did whenever she encountered saved their pennies for a weekly lunch date, and a somebody who was generally despised. She said: 'Please travelling salesman, his case of samples on the floor sit down here, there's plenty of room,' in a rather loud beside him as he scanned the racing form in the paper. voice.

Benny flipped through a copy of The Tatler, making a

mental calculation. It was April now, getting really hot The woman did so. The German waitress, obviously not and summery. Everybody was talking about holding understanding whatever cultural malaise afflicted the dances, and whether or not one should offer favours to newcomer, came over at once.

guests, and if looping the loop in a flying machine

clutching two piglets was infra dig or not. The papers

'Could I please have three slices of cake, and a plate of had scarcely a thought for matters further abroad than scones, with quite a lot of cream?' the woman asked. Ireland, where the Liberals' plans to give the whole

island home rule had the Unionists threatening civil

'Hungry?' Bernice asked when the waitress had left. war.

29

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'I'll say. I'm on the Cat, you see. Got to build myself up'

Benny frowned. 'Isn't that rather the wrong way round?'

'I beg your pardon?'

'I suppose so. My mother was going to come too.'

'The Cat and Mouse Act. I'm on a hunger strike in

Holloway. Every now and then, they release me, let me

'Really?'

get my strength back. Then they arrest me again, and I

go on hunger strike again. I've been in and out three

'Yes, she's very gay.'

times now. It's getting to be a matter of routine.'

'Obviously.' Benny ate her cake thoughtfully. She raised

'What did you, erm, do?'

a finger to ask a question, then lowered it again. 'You

know, I think we've been talking at cross-purposes...'

'Stuck a pole through the wheels of the King's pony and

trap. He nearly went flying. I suppose that God saved Constance glanced up. A plodding blue figure was him. I'm a bit of an Emily Davison, you see, only not so moving down the street outside. 'Oops. Terribly glad to brave.'

meet you, must be going.' She took off her hat, dropped

the cake and scones into it and ran for the door. 'Do

'Sorry, I'm being a bit dim, I know, but why did you do have the cream.' And she was gone.

that?'

Benny laughed out loud, once more incurring the

'To draw attention to the WSPU's campaign for universal displeasure of her fellow customers. She didn't mind suffrage. I'm an adult woman and thus deserve the vote. paying Constance's bill at all.

Goodness, you're still smiling. You've listened longer

than most people do.'

After lunch, Bernice returned to her lodgings at Station

Cottage. She'd popped into the art shop where Mr

'Because I agree with you. You're going to win, by the Sangster had provided her with some oils that she the way. I'm Bernice Summerfield.'

needed. He'd regaled her with stories of the Boer War,

straight, she suspected, out of some cheap paperback he The woman shook her hand. 'Constance Harding. I was was reading.

going to go to my first dance this year, but now,

obviously, I can't. When did you come out, by the way?'

Station Cottage, as the name implied, was right next to

the level-crossing over the branch line. Every two hours, A forkful of cake stopped halfway to Benny's mouth. a little train went past, carrying commuters to and from

'Sorry?'

Norwich. The cottage had a little garden with just the

right sort of light and facing, and Benny had set up her

'Your accent gives you away.'

easel there, intent on painting the gentle hills above the

town. Atop one of them was a monument of an old

'My accent?'

woman, sitting with her basket. This, she had been

informed, was Old Meg, who, sometime last century,

'Yes, my dear.' Constance sighed. 'Do you know, I was used to walk all the way to Shellhampton and back hoping to go cruising before I came out ...'

every day to sell her small goods. Good to be 31

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

remembered, Benny thought, for something so everyday Benny bit her lip. So far she'd managed to avoid the and difficult.

topic of her supposed studies at Newnham College. 'I'm

afraid that I've never been to your old college.'

She made herself some sandwiches, and wandered out

into the garden, putting a hand up to her brow to get a

'King's, it was. They rather disapprove of you roving good, distant look at the work in progress. Quite good, about, don't they?'

really, for a novice.

'Rather. Oh, listen, I met a woman on the run from the

'It's utterly wonderful!' boomed a familiar voice from the police today...' And she told the story of her encounter street. Alexander Shuttleworth was leaning on the fence, with Constance.

fanning his florid face with his panama hat. 'You must

have been exhibited, surely? Have you sent anything to Alexander humphed. 'Damn Liberals! Pardon my the National?'

French, loved one, but it's really going too far when

you're in and out of prison like billyoh. I don't know why

'If I did -' Benny munched her sandwich, '-they would Asquith doesn't just give them the vote, well, for send it back with a note saying that it does not suit their householders, anyway. What do you think?'

present needs, and there would be a PS asking what it

was actually of.'

'I think that grown-ups should vote, full stop.'

'Oh, you sell yourself short, Miss Summerfield. I had a

'Good for you. You ought to meet my chum Richard lady friend once who was an art lover, and she taught Hadleman. He's chairman of the local Labour group. me some of the basics.'

Young firebrand, just in his twenties. It'll be chaps like

him that'll lead us into the next decade.'

'Really?' Benny arched an eyebrow. 'So do you think it's

actually any good?'

'Probably.' Bernice turned back to her painting, not

wanting Alexander to see her face.

'Absolutely topping. Sorry to intrude, by the way. I just

popped over because I was bored. There's nothing to do A great commotion arose from behind the cottage, and at the museum, young Alec's sitting at the desk, and the gates of the level crossing were raised. A moment he's bored too, but I employ him to be bored so that I later, plumes of smoke rose from a tank engine as it don't have to be. I wondered if I might watch you paint?'

chuffed past, the warm smell of its boiler drifting

through the garden and mingling with the roses.

'It's not exactly a spectator sport, but do come in. It is Alexander glanced at his watch. 'Dead on two. The world your garden.'

may be changing, but at least the trains still run on

time.'

'Like a malevolent spirit, I can only enter where I am

invited.' Alexander opened the garden gate and settled The scream caused some of the younger boys to look up into a deckchair. 'Besides, that's the reason I started to for a moment.

rent the cottage when my sister died. I like meeting new

people. Especially those down from Cambridge.'

The Upper School room in Farrar House had two

balconies, each one with a cluster of chairs around it. 33

34

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

One window was for the boys in general, the other for to see on some foreign woman's clothing. As part of a the Captains, four boys given special responsibilities for teacher's kit, though, it was frankly inappropriate. The their house at Hulton College School.

younger boys adored him, because he was homely and

full of childish things. That was desperately bad for At that moment, the Captains were beating Timothy with morale.

a tarred and knotted rope.

Still, the Captains stood to attention and saluted him.

'Gag him, for God's sake,' Hutchinson, a tall boy with

cropped fair hair, muttered. 'We don't want Wolvercote

'House master in the Upper!' bellowed Hutchinson, and to think we're squealers.'

the boys stood up.

Timothy looked over his shoulder, clutching the cold

'Who's that?' Smith turned back to the door, as if some metal of the radiator which he was bent up against. 'I one had come in behind him, then, realizing they mean had a dream, Hutchinson, a nightmare. Death was in it. him, grinned for a millisecond and waved a distracted We all died. We were all killed. The whole of Farrar.'

hand. He was still wearing his usual bemused

expression, as if he was continually missing the point of

'We all have nightmares from time to time,' Hutchinson some joke. 'No, no, sit down. I came to ask... about told him, 'but one learns not to wake up screaming. cricket.' He suddenly pulled a tiny rubber ball from his Only four more now. If you can refrain from making a pocket, and bowled it over arm at a startled lad reading noise, we shan't gag you. D'you think you can?'

Boy’s Own in the corner. Gamely, the boy used the

rolled-up paper to knock it back.

Alton wandered in at that moment. He was rather

laconic for the Captains' taste, but had passed the tests Smith caught it, grinning. 'Howzat? Oh yes, we'll put you and pull-throughs designed for the new bugs with in to bat.' There was general laughter. startling resilience. Especially impressive was his time

on the gym rings, where he'd hung for a whole afternoon The Captains exchanged glances. Hutchinson said, 'If without the usual bleating. 'Excuse me, Captain,' he you wanted to ask about the cricket team, sir, you could called, 'but form master's on his way up here. Saw him have summoned me to your rooms.'

on the front stairs.'

'Oh good, do you know about cricket?'

'What on earth does Smith want?' Hutchinson muttered

'Oh well, let's not disturb his fair senses. Let bug up, Yes, sir. I was team captain last year.'

we'll finish him later.'

'Only I was wondering - ' Smith threw the ball into the Dr Smith entered, his fingers tapping his lip air, caught it in his mouth, appeared to swallow it, and thoughtfully, just as Timothy was skulking back to the produced it again from his sleeve, why are there only boys' side of the room. He was a short, dark-haired man, seven people batting? Couldn't we include everybody wearing a brown suit and an outrageous tie. The design who wants to play?'

of that tie summed up what the Captains thought of

their new form master. It was colonial in nature, a

'I assume that's a rhetorical question, sir,' said swirling and colourful pattern such as one might expect Hutchinson.

35

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Hutchinson exchanged bemused glances with his fellow In the corner of the room, Timothy was biting his bottom captains. The tone of Timothy's voice was resigned lip, trying desperately not to cry.

rather than scared. 'Dare say it will,' Timbo!' He

laughed.' you're the one it's going badly for at the

'Tell him,' urged Anand, his friend. 'He could stop them. moment. Now where were we?'

He would.' Anand's father ruled a small independent

state in India. He and Timothy were best friends, In the forest on the hills above the town, a red squirrel probably because the rest of the House seemed to hate looked up, started, and ran.

them equally. 'Yes,' Tim whispered. 'That's the most

terrible thing. He would.'

In mid-air, a shape was forming, a flowing fractal vortex

that grew out of thin air, swirling out from a point to

'It seems very odd,' Smith concluded. 'When I was away, become a spinning upright disc, the size of a barn door. in Aberdeen, we used to get a couple of planks, knock a

ball about.'

There were five figures in the vortex, in the distance,

rushing towards the disc. They were frozen like statues

'Perhaps we could try that,' piped up Captain in leaping postures. They became larger, larger still, and Merryweather. 'It might catch on, sir, and they'd all start then the first of them fell straight out into the wood. using planks at Lords.' Hutchinson glanced at him

warningly. His sarcasm had been a bit too obvious. But August got to his feet instantly, letting go of his nose, Smith was grinning that insane grin again. and caught Aphasia as she fell from the vortex gate. He

left her to recover, and slapped the shoulders of

'Yes... Well, I'll put the team up on the notice-board. Greeneye and Hoff as they stumbled out, carrying their We'll start with eleven and work up. Many hands spoil large packs. 'Quickly, assemble the frame.'

the broth, or not, as my father used to say. Or perhaps

he said the opposite. Goodbye.' And he left, tossing the The two of them started, with smooth, practised speed, ball thoughtfully.

to pull a metal structure from the backpacks. By the

time Serif jumped from the vortex, hissing, they'd

'Quiet!' Hutchinson called as soon as the door had completed the job. They slammed the final connections closed. The laughter that man always left in his wake - together, and a thin metal ring encompassed the what sort of example was that? 'We were in the process fluttering lightshow. Hoff's stubby fingers punched a of beating Dean, if I recall.'

series of buttons on the base of the ring. The vortex disc

flexed, and a single clear note rang out across the Timothy stood up, his eyes dark with pain, and stiffly woodland. The travellers held their breath. Then the disc walked back to the radiator. 'It will go the worse for you,'

stabilized, and a series reassuring lights illuminated on he whispered as he leant against it once more. the control deck.

'What, bug?'

'Vortex tunnel stable,' Hoff declared.

'I said,' Tim said, in a louder voice, 'it will go the worse

'Thank my ancestors,' August breathed. 'Now the are for you.'

Greeneye - '

37

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'I'm just doing it, Father.' Greeneye turned a slow circle, passage of time in the vortex, but my bones ache with it. sweeping a handheld device across the ground. H' circle Where are we, anyhow?'

complete, he flicked a control.

'Planet called Sol 3, in the Stellarian Galaxy.' Hoff was checking the readings on his wrist scanner. 'Many, many library entries for it.'

'Near Gallifrey, then,' breathed Greeneye.

'It is not "near Gallifrey"!' August laughed. 'We're in an arm of Mutter's Spiral, Gallifrey's right at the core. If being in the same galaxy is near, then the Sontarans are near the Rutans, for goodness' sake!'

'No harm in being wary,' Greeneye replied, a dangerous glint in his eye. 'You know that those bastards specialize in the stab in the back.'

'You're right, son, you're right. We ought to change anyway. Hoff, activate that media scanner you got on Tauntala, give us a feel for the local culture.'

Hoff fished a screen from the pack and handed out A shimmering curtain of light rose from the circle headsets, each of the group programming theirs for their around the group, arched itself into a dome above them, particular interests. Then they set to the business of and, as soon as it had become complete, shimmered and examining the data that the media scanner was picking blurred into an exact recreation of the woodlands up. For some hours, the only sounds that could be around . Birds flew across the holographic dome, and heard in the forest were the usual movements of small the branches portrayed on its surface bent and rustled animals and birds.

in he wind.

Through the bushes crept a great hunter. From the inside, the dome was transparent. August and

the others sat down in a circle, paused, and then let out He was a tabby tom-cat, and his name was Wolsey. He a deep sigh.

was far from his own territory, and thus constantly on

the lookout for rivals and new things to explore.

'This place smells,' Aphasia declared.

The dome was something very new indeed. It was

'Indeed!' Greeneye laughed. 'Most places do. But I, for twilight, and he had been about to turn and head home one, am just grateful to be on solid ground, and move for some food, but the new thing caught his attention. my limbs again. We might not have been aware of the

39

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

He approached it cautiously, skirting right round before

'There are lots of worlds with cats,' Hoff muttered. He venturing towards it. Visually, it was hard to see that was wearing the medals and uniform of a Boer War there was anything strange there, but Wolsey didn't rely veteran. 'Don't let it bother you.'

on sight as much as a human would, and he perceived

the strange construction as a bundle of strange sounds Serif was still in his long black cape and wide-brimmed and absolutely new smells. He stalked right up to the hat. He turned his head silently, examining the foliage. 'I edge of it, and leaned his nose forward until his will explore with stealth,' he told the others, 'by night.'

whiskers were nearly touching the mysterious surface. And he was gone into the forest.

In a moment, the great hunter would mark the thing

with scent from the side of his head, and then it would

'Serif - ' August called after him, but he was gone. 'Oh be his.

well, I'm sure he knows best. Hoff - '

A sudden sound. Wolsey looked up. And jumped. Hoff was about to flick a wrist control, but Aphasia Aphasia landed right where he'd been, her hands jumped up, shouting, 'Wait! Wait! Balloon!'

snatching at the air as the cat bounded off into the

under-growth.

From out of the square panel that had opened in the

dome, a red balloon floated, its string dangling. It The little girl bared her teeth and stood up, brushing the hovered to Aphasia's hand, and she grabbed hold of it. dirt from her dress. 'A cat!' she called to the others. 'It

'You can close it up now.'

was one of those cat things!'

Hoff did so. The construction hummed with power as a

'A cat?' Greeneye leapt out of the dome, his hand defence shield activated.

reflexively grasping for the top of his sword. 'A

Gallifreyan creature!' He was dressed in relaxed summer

'Let's explore, see what we're about,' August decided, whites and blazer, a pristine boater perched atop his pointing vaguely in the direction of town. 'If anybody newly cropped hair. The only strange things about him sees the subject, or this companion of his, then call it in. now were the two swords still harnessed to his back. And there's a TARDIS about somewhere, remember,

which is very probably where the target is.'

'Would you please relax?' August emerged from the

dome behind him, in a dapper business suit. 'You're They set off, Greeneye tossing his boater from hand to making me nervous.' He slapped a control on Greeneye's hand. Glancing at some animal movement in the harness and the swords vanished. 'We could only find bushes, possibly the dreaded cat, he missed, and the test transmissions in the radio spectrum, remember?

hat fell to the floor. He winced, as if bruised, as the The media scanner had to concentrate on how the locals evening breeze sent it tumbling across the ground. He perceive their print culture. Unless they want to use it halted briefly, concentrating.

as an observatory, I can't see what the Time Lords would

want with somewhere as primitive as this.'

The boater steadied itself, and, on some unseen means

of propulsion, ran back across the forest floor to

'But the cat - '

Greeneye, hopping back on to his head.

41

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Whatever this Time Lord's doing here,' he muttered, 'I hope he's enjoying it, because, let me tell you, it's going

to be his lifetime's work.'

'Miaow...' said Hoff.

Ch

C apter rT

wo

Maius Intra Qua Extra

'So...' George Rocastle, MBE, leaned back in his chair and smiled. 'How are things working out, John?'

Dr Smith had plopped down in the chair on the other side of the desk. He pulled at his collar, and grinned giddily. 'Fine... fine.'

'Only I was disturbed by something I heard today. As headmaster, I have to keep an ear out for everything, you know. Why did you venture into Upper School today?'

'It's where the boys were. I wanted to ask them about cricket. Was that wrong?'

'Not... wrong, not as such, no. But there's more of an order to life here than what's in the rulebook. Rather like Great Britain herself, we're proud of our unwritten constitution. Maius intra qua extra, you know. Pars interior ingentior est quam exterior pars? '

'Ah ...' Smith nodded wisely.

43

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'What does that mean?' Rocastle's moustachioed upper really done for a housemaster to enter into the personal lip quivered, then he controlled himself. 'It happens to business of his House. Bad form. I don't know how they be the school motto. If you don't know what it means, I did it up in Scotland - '

suggest that you look it up.'

'My last headmaster, Mr Gothley, was very keen on

'Yes. I will. Do go on.'

knowing everyone's affairs.'

'Dr Smith, when I took you on, it was largely on the

'Well, that's the trouble, then. You're just getting used to strength of a superb set of references, possibly the best I how we do things south of the border. The Celtic have ever seen, from the Flavian Academy of Aberdeen. temperament's a fine thing in war. I remember a rather Your behaviour in the six weeks that we've had you has, stirring bayonet demonstration given by the Scots thus far, not matched those references. For a start, Guards at a tattoo when I was a lad. However, the way of there's the matter of your hysterical outburst when you discipline and stability is our chosen path, and we do sat in on Mrs Denman's biology class - '

well enough with it.'

'She suggested that the world might have been created

'Yes.' Smith nodded. 'I see.'

in six days. That Darwin's theories were unproven. I had

to laugh.' Smith's happy gaze caught Rocastle's

'Good man. I'm sure we shan't have to talk like this disapproving expression. 'Perhaps you had to be there.'

again. Good Lord, is that the time? Not on evening prep,

are you? No, well then, I shan't keep you from getting

'Then there was the incident over the punishment Mr back to the lodge. How are you finding it?'

Challoner had prescribed for Atkins.'

'I haven't had any trouble. It's always been at the bottom

'They were on a cross-country run. The boy was hurt.'

of the drive,' Smith told him seriously.

'Mr Challoner's view is that he was slacking. He Rocastle wasn't listening, thumping some papers into completed the course twice, so he can't have been too shape on his desk. 'Good, good.' There was a knock at badly injured, can he? Well, can he?'

the door. 'Enter.'

'No, I suppose not - '

Joan Redfern entered. She was in her early forties, a

science teacher, with an occasional strand of hair

'Listen, Smith, I'll be plain. Your inteference in other escaping from her carefully pinned coiffure. teachers' lessons is bad for discipline. I've heard that

your own History classes run remarkably smoothly. Why

'Excuse me, Head and, oh, hello, Dr Smith, I was just can't you let others get on with their work?'

wondering if I could use your telephone at the weekend.

My aunt in Grims appears to be ailing, and I'd like to

'I...' Smith lowered his head. 'I don't know. I'm sorry if I discover the precise situation.'

caused any trouble. I'll try not to meddle.'

'Of course,' said Rocastle. 'Will you be requiring time off,

'That's the spirit. I admire a man who knows when he's Mrs Redfern?'

wrong. As for this afternoon's little sortie, well, it's not

45

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Oh goodness, no, it's not as serious as all that. Thank

'Light...' he muttered. Then he turned back to Joan. you anyway. Good day.'

'Sorry. Miles away. What did you say?'

She nodded to Rocastle, gave Smith a little smile, and

'I said that I heard you wrote. Fiction, I mean.'

left.

'It's nothing. Stories. For children. Magic, elves, you A moment later, when Smith left the Head's study, Joan know.' Fireflies were dancing through the trees along the was waiting for him in the corridor, sitting on the little drive.

bench outside normally reserved for quaking schoolboys.

'I see. Are you a mystic, then?'

'Sent to see the Head, eh?'

'No. Well, not in the romantic sense. I don't believe in

'Yes.' Smith bit his bottom lip worriedly. sprites or kelpies or boogens or intelligent seaweed.'

'What did he want to see you about?'

'Intelligent seaweed? My, you have an imagination.'

'Nothing important. I'm a bad influence. Are you going They turned the curve of the driveway so that the school home?'

was hidden by the trees. They both slowed to a stop and

visibly relaxed, smiling at the similarity of their Joan stood up. 'Yes. I was hoping that you would walk reactions.

me to the gate, Dr Smith. If you'd like that.'

Smith offered Joan the crook of his arm again, and this Smith stuck his elbow out. Joan raised an eyebrow at it, time, with a wry glance, she took it. 'Go on then. I need and, abashed, he took his black umbrella from the coat all the support I can get at my age.'

rack and hung it there.

'Why, how old are you?'

'I heard that you wrote...' They walked stiffly down the

gravel driveway, the crunching of their feet being the

'Dr Smith! What a question!' Joan feigned a glare. 'Sorry. only sound in the beautiful blue twilight. A full moon I'm forty-eight.'

was rising, its surface rippling with the haze of the

departing day. Its light turned the rest of the sky into a

'Well I'm - '

negative, expectant and shining, the first brave stars

appearing over the hills. The school was an enormous

'Don't tell me.'

dark edifice behind them, a block of shadow which

suddenly started to come alive with light as, at once all

'Younger.'

over the building, prefects turned on oil lamps. In

seconds, the light fluttered all over the gothic structure,

'Good.'

filling the windows with a sickly glow.

'Why?'

Smith had glanced back over his shoulder, watching as

the window of Rocastle's study also slowly illuminated. 47

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Because - I don't know, sometimes I feel terribly old. I

'He didn't win, though. He looked back to see Eurydice.'

need somebody to keep me young.'

'Thank goodness you arrived. I wouldn't know what to

'So what did Rocastle have to say to you?'

do with myself otherwise. Our talks, our games of

whist... I do believe that they keep me sane.'

'He was telling me about some of the unwritten rules. I

wanted to ask if he could give me a list, but that's

'Yes.' Smith turned his gaze from the shimmering trail of probably the point, isn't it?'

the Milky Way which was beginning to form overhead. 'I

feel the same way.'

'Oh, that man. He's a complete caricature.'

'Tell me, have you noticed how odd that boy Dean is?'

Smith waved his free hand. 'He's dedicated. He means

well.'

'Dean?'

'If he was in my class, I'd give him a good telling-off. Far Smith was broken out of his reverie. 'You mean Tim?

too bossy. He's a ... a military twit.'

Yes, he is a bit distant. Preoccupied. Like somebody's

died.' He grimaced. 'Sorry. Shot myself in the foot. Oh Smith stared at her for a moment, a boyish grin playing no! No!'

over his features. 'You don't like soldiers, do you?'

He was visibly floundering, letting go of Joan's arm to

'No. Not since my husband, Arthur, died. Let me tell wave his hands into wild patterns.

you, John, if I were given the choice again, I wouldn't

come here. I had to endure a very harsh interview with Joan was laughing. 'John, don't worry, it was a long Rocastle, and he made my appointment feel like a time ago. I rather think I've got used to it. I don't believe charitable act on his part, giving employment to a war I've ever heard that expression, shot oneself in the foot. widow with outdated references. I felt that he was being Very descriptive. Where does it originate?'

more of a friend to Arthur than to me. But I needed to

make ends meet. And there's, well, there's another

'I don't know... oh dear.' Looking abashed, Smith took factor, which it wouldn't be right to go into.'

her arm once more. 'You're very understanding. You

make everything simple. I like that.'

'Ah, well, I wouldn't want you to do anything wrong

because you were with me. Two heads don't make a Joan considered. 'Well, I like the way your face creases right.'

up whenever you have to talk about anything emotional,

as though it's going to be incredibly painful for

'Two heads. What a terrible thought.'

everybody concerned. But you go ahead and say it

anyway. Tell me, in your past - and please do not feel

'A monster. Like Cerberus at the gates of Hell.'

obliged to answer - was there any great tragedy? A...

failed romance?' She saw the knotted look on his face Joan laughed. 'Well, Orpheus tricked Cerberus, didn'

again, and her own smile faded.

he?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Oh dear. I knew that I should not have asked.' Smith drive. Joan, seeing that Smith was uncomfortable, looked down at the gravel beneath his feet. decided not to pursue the matter further, and changed

the subject.

'No, no ... There was somebody. When I was very young.

Her name was Verity. She was a brewer's daughter. We

'We were talking about Timothy Dean. What do you were engaged to be married.'

make of him?' She let go of Smith's arm and watched

him fumble for his key.

'What happened?'>

'Eh? Oh yes. Very precognitive. I mean precocious. Very sensitive.' Joan sighed, realizing that she wasn't going to get any sense out of Smith about this topic.

'Well, perhaps you and I could play a hand or two tomorrow evening. Would you like me to cook?'

'Yes.' Smith, still failing to open his door, turned and gave her a shy smile. 'That would be good.'

'Is there anything you don't like?'

'Burnt toast.'

'Well, I certainly shan't risk that. I'll see you tomorrow at seven then, unless our paths should cross beforehand.'

'Good. Wonderful.' Smith leaned back jauntily on the

door.

'She preferred a sailor. That's the thing about Aberdeen. Which was, of course, the point at which it opened, he You get all sorts. Liquorice?' He had pulled a stick of the fell inside.

red variety from his pocket. Joan snapped off a piece

and munched it. 'That's terrible. Did you hear anything Joan walked off down the lane, waving and laughing. of her again?'

***

'Her sailor fled with a girl he met in a dance hall. That

was years ago. I don't know what happened after that.'

From the diary of Prof Bernice Summerfield

'Didn't you offer to take her back?'

That night I had one of my doldrums.

'No. Perhaps. I don't know. It's all a blur sometimes.'

I'd picked up a copy of Le Morte D'Arthur from the They'd reached the old hunting lodge at the end of the cottage bookshelf. I wasn't thinking, obviously. Mind 51

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

you, since one of the alternatives was A Study in Scarlet, Dr Smith ignited the oil lamp, settled down at his desk perhaps I should count myself lucky. I could have found and picked up a pen. He tapped his teeth with it myself on the morning train to London, aiming for a tour thoughtfully.

of the old folks' homes. Doubtless that would have

resulted in me being pursued by a bathchair and its It would have been good if Joan had stayed for dinner occupant having a heart attack.

that night. She was different. Full of life. She made him

happy in strange ways. She made him want to write. I curled up in bed with the bit where Bedivere throws

Excalibur back into the lake. When I was a girl, hiding He'd always thought he'd had a novel in him, ever since out alone in the forest (and I have spent so much of my he and Verity had walked down to the shore and they'd life alone, I've just realized that), Mallory and the like danced on the rocks in the moonlight. She'd kissed him were a great comfort. I expected it to be again, and I then, and whispered something in his ear. Both ideas was, in an odd kind of way, because, almost without seemed odd: the whisper and the kiss. He couldn't realizing that I'd started, after ten minutes I found that I remember what she'd told him, or what being kissed had was sobbing my heart out.

been like.

I was crying for a past that had never really existed, All that was because he'd got his Uppers results that some terribly British notion of the previous land, where day. It looked certain that he could be a teacher. things were better, and all deaths were noble, and the

twilights were presumably golden. My family is British, He pulled a blank piece of paper from the drawer and after all, so I have a right to sob about what was lost. stared at it. Very white. Very blank.

Loss is my heritage. Before the war that took Mum,

before all the wars, before the Fall, I suppose, we were He thought for a moment. He could show the story to comfortable and happy and glad. And then They came, Joan. She'd suggest changes, they'd work on it together. and They had some sort of big plan that We didn't really That would be good.

understand, and just Them being Them made us, who

had been all sorts of things, into We. He put his pen to paper and began to write.

Same old story, and it is full of its own terrors, and The Old Man and the Police Box

flawed, and has that terrible male triumphalism about it

that causes boys to line up and be slaughtered. But it Long ago, and far away, in the reign of Queen Victoria, can still make me cry.

there lived a silver-haired old man, who had a very good

idea. He had thought of a shelter for policemen, with a And that night it connected with my own situation, and telephone, so that anybody who was in trouble could call it affected me, rather.

for help. And that was clever; because nobody knew what

a telephone was, back then.

The night lasted about ten days.

Because there had to be a lot of room inside the shelter; Diary Entry Ends

the old man invented a way to make a lot of space fit into

it. Because the shelter had to be able to chase criminals, 53

54

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

he made it so it could disappear and then appear again The image he was watching was of Benny pacing her somewhere else.

room, in blue against white, seen through the wall of the

building. 'Native to this planet, a touch of Artron energy, The old man was very clever; but very lonely, and so, therefore she's been in a TARDIS. Yes, she's the before he told anybody else about his invention, he used companion. Professor Bernice Summerfield, the subject it to go exploring. He visited another world, a place called told Laylock. Sometimes called Benny. There are a few Gallifrey.

other details in the files.' He pulled a gun from his belt.

'Coming?'

There, he found a tribe of very primitive people.

'What? No, Hoff, no! What would be the point of that?'

***

'We grab her, interrogate her, find out where the Pod is, Smith stared at the paper in annoyance. It had flowed and we're home before first light. What's your problem?'

out of him, but he couldn't show it to her. Far too

childish. Even for children. And where was it going? He

'It won't work! She's a Time Lord's human assistant, didn’t even have a plot. He'd sleep on it. therefore she must be somebody of particular qualities

and abilities.'

He retired, extinguishing the oil lamp on his desk with

an irritated jerk of the valve.

Hoff raised his eyebrows. 'Oh yes?'

As he moved about in the bedroom of the little lodge, a

'She would resist our efforts, try and escape, all of that. boyish hand silently picked up the first page of the No, we must do this in a subtle way.'

story. After a moment, there was the sound of stifled

laughter.

'You're attracted to her, aren't you?'

Smith ducked out of the bedroom in his nightgown and

'Well, she has got a nice shape. For a humanoid.'

cap. He glanced around the place. But all was as it

should be.

'I don't believe it. If it's got a corporeal form, you'll cruk

it.'

All that remained of his visitor was a gentle breeze from

an open window. It sent the papers scudding to the

'All I'm saying is, let me do it my way. Tomorrow.'

floor.

'All right.' Hoff slipped the gun back into his belt. 'But if

Smith retrieved them, and, shaking his head in it doesn't work, I'll have the hot irons ready.'

puzzlement, went back to his bed.

'What do you think?' Greeneye had his feet up against a tree, his back to the hillside above Bernice's cottage. Hoff sat beside him, staring through a pair of advanced binoculars.

55

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Sir?' Captain Merryweather put his hand up. 'Aren't you going to take the register, sir?'

'Abbot, Andrew?' Smith muttered, flipping open the

register. Each boy answered his name, until:

'Alton, Clive Ian?'

'Sir.'

Ch

C apter rT

hre

r e

'Dean?'

Boudiccan Destruction Layer

Timothy was staring out of the window at the terrible greenness of the cricket pitch. Anand nudged him in the

ribs. He looked up. 'Sorry, what?'

'Timothy Dean?' Smith grinned at him. 'I don't know why The next morning, Smith walked into the classroom, I'm asking, I can see you're there.'

dressed in the mortarboard and gown in which he

always looked so awkward. Silence fell, as it always did. Hutchinson glanced at the stern looks on his comrades'

The Captains sat at the back, and the boys at the front, faces, nodded and stood up. 'Sir, that's not right.'

and all of them stood to attention as he entered. He

caught a paper dart happily, glanced at it, tweaked the

'What?' Smith peered myopically between Dean and wing a notch and threw it back, straight into the hands Hutchinson. 'Can't you see him?'

of the boy who threw it.

'Missing one's name in a roll call is a disciplinary

'Good morning, class.'

offence, sir, under the rules of the school. Aren't you

going to do anything about it?'

'Good morning, Dr Smith,' they chorused.

'Why, what do you think I should do?'

'Sit down.' As they did so, Smith opened his briefcase. 'I

put a notice up on the board in the corridor. The cricket

'The standard punishment is ten strokes of the slipper, team.'

sir. Perhaps you weren't aware of it.'

Hutchinson held up his hand. 'Excuse me, sir, but

'Aware?' Smith looked uneasily round the class. 'Yes, I weren't we going to talk about that?'

knew that. But this is my form room. Can't I change the

rules?'

'Were we? I thought we had. Sorry. Oh well, it's only a

game. Now, destruction, murder, people impaled on posts - '

57

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'None of us can change the rules, sir. Even if we'd like to. If you'd prefer it, I could administer the punishment myself.'

Smith fiddled with the air, thinking. 'Yes,' he decided. Timothy opened his mouth in horror. Last time Hutchinson had punished him, he hadn't been able to sit down for three days, and couldn't get to sleep for the pain of the bruises.

Hutchinson stood up. 'May I have the slipper, sir?'

Smith was fumbling inside his briefcase. 'I wondered why I had to bring one of these to every lesson. I nearly wore it, but I'd have ended up walking in circles. Ah!'

With a flourish, he pulled a fluffy pink slipper from the bag, and experimentally slapped it across the back of his hand. 'Yes... that shouldn't hurt.' He looked up at

Hutchinson. 'Ready?'

Atkins put his hand up. 'Please, sir, do you mean Hutchinson had walked up to the desk. Now he stopped, Boadicea?'

stiffly turned and headed back to his place. 'I think we

can defer the punishment, sir.'

'Yes. Boudicca was her real name. She was a Celtic

queen, the Queen of the Iceni, who lived around here.

'Oh good.' Smith looked puzzled, dropped the slipper She was the widow of Prasutagas. He was the old king. back into his bag, and smiled at the class. Many secret When he died, he left his land to his daughters and the smiles were directed back at him, except from the Roman empire jointly. This is when the Romans ruled Captains, who were staring at him with a mixture of Britain. He thought that would work. But Roman agents incredulity and distaste. 'Now. Destruction, murder, came and tried to take over the place. Why?'

people impaled on posts. All of these are a feature of

Boudicca's rebellion against the Romans, circa AD 62.'

'Because girls couldn't rule a kingdom?' suggested

Merryweather.

'That might be what they thought. We don't know if they were acting officially. Paulinus, the Governor, was away fighting in Wales. That might have been the idea. If they'd failed, nobody could blame him. A lot of governments work like that.'

'Not European ones, surely?' Alton murmured, a sly smile on his face.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'The people she killed were Britons. Even the legions

'Perhaps. In Bosnia - but never mind that. The agents were mostly local recruits.'

raped the daughters and molested Boudicca herself. So

she - what? What's the matter?'

Hutchinson laughed. 'What are you trying to say about

Queen Boadicea? That she was some sort of mass A murmur had rippled round the classroom: 'Sir, what murderer?'

did they do to the daughters again?' asked Phipps.

'Yes. Of course.' Smith had advanced up the room,

'Raped them. Had sex with them against their will. Isn't staring manically at Hutchinson. 'But was the murder that in the dictionary? Now...' He ignored the justified?'

murmurings and turned to the map. 'Boudicca's

immediate reaction was to do - what to the agents?

Hutchinson squared his jaw. 'Murder is never justified.'

Hadleigh-Scott?'

'What about in the Boer War?'

Hadleigh-Scott looked up from nudging his deskmate

'That was different. That's war.'

and giggling. 'To make them marry the girls, sir?'

'So was this. The Britons she killed were from other

'What? No. Strange. No, she had the agents skinned tribes. Tribes who had invited the Romans to Britain.'

alive and impaled on posts with their intestines - most

texts say intestines - in their mouths. Very nasty. Then,

'Collaborators. They deserve all they get.'

because they'd given the impression they were working

on Imperial orders, she called the Iceni to war, and

'Years before. They now lived in peace with everybody.'

declared that they were free. They didn't have to do what Smith was level with his desk now, glaring down at him. the Governor said any more. The tribe attacked

Colchester, St Albans and London, and burnt them all

'Then, no,' the boy blurted, meeting his stare. flat. There was so much destruction that archaeologists

know when they've got down to AD 62 in those towns,

'But it was rape. Her daughters. Royalty. Mauled by because there's a layer of broken things and ash. rabble. Who's right?' Smith lowered his head until it was Finally, Paulinus returned, got his troops together and level with Hutchinson's.

defeated the Iceni. Boudicca killed herself. The question

is: was this great British heroine, a favourite of Queen

'How can I possibly - ?' Hutchinson glanced away. Victoria, right to rebel? Hutchinson?'

'Who's right?' bellowed Smith.

'Of course. She was fighting foreign tyranny.'

'I don't know!' shouted Hutchinson.

'No she wasn't. Paulinus was the mildest of governors. If

she'd have reported the agents to him, he'd have dealt

'No!' Smith slapped the slipper across the edge of his with them himself.'

desk with a sound like a whiplash.

'But Britain was occupied by the Romans.'

The boy jumped up out of his seat and stood there,

glaring at Smith and panting.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Smith took a bite and munched thoughtfully. 'An apple a For a moment, the class thought that Hutchinson was day... saves nine. No, that's not right. What was it that I going to hit him.

was supposed to remember?'

Then Smith turned away, and wandered back towards

'A stitch in time? Keeps the doctor away?' Timothy the blackboard. The slipper had vanished once more. suggested smiling.

'No,' he murmured, like he'd lost his place again. 'No,

'Probably. Dreams are like that. You never remember the you don't...' He turned and looked at the boys. 'Now, interesting bits.'

where were we?'

Tim took a deep breath. 'I'm... I'm being... It's the rules, I With a mighty effort, Hutchinson sat down. He stabbed know, and I should just put up with it, but... the the nib of his fountain pen into the paper in front of Captains, they beat me every day. I only wanted to ask, him, and half wrote, half ripped, a single word: is it ever going to stop? Does it stop when I'm in the

second year?'

Later.

Smith put down the apple, and looked around the room, The bell rang at eleven, and the class filed out, many of lost for words. Finally, he answered. 'I don't know. Does the boys clustering around the notice-board outside as it? Is there anything I can do? I'll tell them to stop - '

they left. Hutchinson didn't even look at Smith as he

marched swiftly by.

'No! Don't!'

Timothy stopped at the desk, and looked nervously up at

'No, no, then I won't, no...' Smith held up his hands in his form master. Smith was quickly packing his pacification. 'Does it happen to everybody?'

briefcase, ready to get on to his next class. 'Excuse me,

sir. Thank you, sir.'

'No. They do a few things to the others, and they call

Anand and Alton names. But it's only me that they give

'Oh? What for?'

a beating to every day.'

'You didn't let Hutchinson at me, sir. I wanted you to Smith wandered into the middle of the room, biting his have this.' There was a quiet intensity, a desperation, to lip in concentration. There seemed to be nothing inside the boy's voice. He pulled a bright red apple from his him to answer the boy. He'd never been bullied - or had pocket, and held it out, his hand shaking slightly. he? If he had, he didn't remember. What would Rocastle

I say?

Smith took the apple, buffed it on his sleeve, and

grinned at his reflection in it. 'Why an apple?'

'It's part of growing up.' He gazed into the corner of the

room. 'It's everyday. Cat eat dog. Survival of the fittest. A

'I had a dream. I have strange dreams. I had to give it to place like this - it's full of rules. Full of customs. And you. So you'd remember.'

they have to be obeyed. It's just the way things are.

Discipline. The making of a man. One day, you'll be a captain, and then you can beat who you want. You've 63

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

got that to look forward to.' He turned back to Timothy

and managed to meet his pained eyes. 'Does that help?'

Smith closed his case, picked it up and slowly walked to

the door.

Timothy didn't answer for a moment, looking at Smith

almost accusingly. 'Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.' He almost All of a sudden, he found himself wishing for evening. ran out of the room.

Benny glanced at her watch. Smith was late again. Every Smith stared after him. 'Or you could always burn their Friday lunchtime, they had a regular date outside the houses down,' he whispered to himself. Farmers' Arms, and every Friday lunchtime, he was late.

The little cluster of tables outside the pub was filling up The door opened and Rocastle entered, beaming. He with customers, and she was sitting there marooned, glanced behind him at the departing Timothy. 'John, I unable to pop in and order a pint alone. Or a half, do believe I've misjudged you!'

rather, or if she was being particularly civilized and non threatening, a flipping sherry.

'Sorry?' Smith went back to his case and finished

packing up.

She rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. The day

felt parched and distant, the result of only getting an

'Well, I was on the way here to give you a bit of a lecture, hour or so's sleep near dawn. The darkness under her something mad and racy about Boadicea, I heard. But I eyes was so great that she'd given in to temptation and stopped to have a glance at the cricket team selection applied some strategic foundation. Better that than look and heard you giving that strange Dean boy a wonderful like a panda. Oh well, only another three Fridays to go, talking-to. That's just the spirit! Tell me, would you be then they could go. Being somewhere else would be interested in helping out with the OTC?'

good, but being in the future, her personal future, would

be better. A year on, and she'd feel a bit more together,

'The OTC?'

and she just wanted to get to that.

'Officer Training Corps; probably don't have them in For one thing, she wanted to ask the Doctor why on Scotland. There's a session tomorrow afternoon. We do it earth he'd done anything as insane as this. If it was every Saturday. Can't ask you to come along on your some sort of reaction to what she was experiencing, then time off, but...'

it wasn't the most useful response in the world.

'I'll pop my head around the parade ground.'

Benny closed her eyes, wishing that the day wasn't so

bright. When she opened them again, Dr Smith was

'Good... good! Well, keep it up!' Rocastle slapped Smith sitting opposite her, a big grin on his face. 'Hello,' he on the shoulder, and left, rubbing his hands together. said. 'How are you? And how's your father?'

He stopped at the door.

'I'm fine. He's fine,' Benny replied ritualistically, feeling a

'Oh, and interesting team selection, by the way, putting great urge to grind her teeth together. 'And how are you, Hutchinson in at five and making Dean captain. I was Uncle John?'

going to mention it, but, no, no, I think I shall trust your

judgement. Good day, Dr Smith.' And he left. 65

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Confused. Happy. Both. I'll tell you in a minute. What

would you like to drink? Sherry?'

4: Eat pears. I hate pears, I don't want to wake up and

taste that.

'Three pints of ESB and a straw.'

5: Leave the area, or you, behind.

'Sorry?'

6: Get involved in big sociopolitical events.

'Sherry, yes, that'd be lovely.' By the time he'd returned

with the drinks, in his case a lemonade, she'd quietened 7: Hurt animals, especially owls.

herself a bit. It was just that she would have liked to

have had somebody to talk to. It wasn't his fault if he 8: Develop an addiction.

couldn't be that person right now. She made herself sip

the sherry instead of throwing it back and banging the 9: Anything impossible.

glass on the table. 'So, what's confusing you?'

Benny looked up from the document, shaking her head.

'There's a woman. She's called Joan. She teaches

'Well, all I can say is, if you're going to do that sort of science. I think that she doesn't like me.'

thing, be careful.'

'Doesn't like you? Why?'

'Careful? What do you mean?'

'Because she keeps laughing at me. Every time we walk

'You ought to, erm, make sure you're safe,' Benny back from school she laughs at me. And she keeps whispered, glancing around at the other tables. beating me at cards; she enjoys winning. She's going to

cook for me, just to show off.'

'Safe? Oh, I see what you mean. There's no need.'

'This woman who doesn't like you... is cooking for you?'

'Isn't there?'

'Tonight. She disturbs me. Sometimes I can't think

'No, we never bet much at whist. A wine gum here, a about anything else.'

shilling there...'

'She'll be stealing your blazer next. Wait a sec.' Benny

'I'm not talking about whist!' Benny lowered her voice. fumbled in her bag and pulled out the list, which she

'Listen, don't you think this behaviour, on both your took a quick peep at beneath table level. parts, is a bit odd?'

Things Not To Let Me Do

'Oh yes, that's why I mentioned it. I wish she'd stop.'

1: Commit suicide, if for some reason I want to.

'Do you?'

2: Do physical harm to anyone, if you're aware of it.

'Well...' Smith's face clouded. 'No, not really. I think I'd

miss it if she stopped now.'

3: Eat meat, if you can.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Oh my God...' Benny rubbed her eyes tiredly. 'Are you

sure this is a good idea?'

'Oh, he's in no danger. They're a backward lot, the

natives of Gallifrey. Idiots with no dress sense.'

'What?'

'Yes...' Smith nodded thoughtfully. He glanced at his Benny sighed and glanced up at the sky. Well, perhaps watch.

it wouldn't do any harm. In this era, they'd need to be

married a year and have a signed note from both parents

'Well, I'd better be getting back to ...'

before they could even snog, and they only had three

weeks. She ought to just let him enjoy the attention.

'Joan?'

'Nothing. You're obviously just very good friends and

colleagues, and should cook, play whist and disturb

'School.'

each other's emotions as much as you think fit.'

'Same thing. Try not to learn too much.'

'Oh. Do you really think so?'

He got up, making that gesture he always did with his He looked so downcast that Benny had to smile. 'Still hand, a strange flutter that Benny took to be a perplexed confused?'

search for a non-existent hat. That alone was worth a

thesis. She'd have so many questions for him in three

'More so.'

weeks. 'See you next Friday.'

'Of course.' Benny saluted him with her remaining

'Your round, isn't it?'

sherry, and watched him depart. He waved as he

mounted his bicycle and peddled off down the road, They talked about the cricket team, Smith quickly swerving close enough to the local omnibus to scare the exhausting Benny's knowledge of this peculiar game in horses.

his quest to clarify the rules. He briefly alluded to the

Boudicca incident, and Tim's subsequent appeal, but Benny laughed and drained her glass. 'What the hell. made them sound so everyday that Benny could only Good luck to her.'

mutter about not liking school that much herself. There

followed a few questions about her return to Newnham, She noticed that, from a table a few feet away, somebody which she dodged, and about the current health and was staring at her, apparently amazed. activities of her father, Smith's brother Jonathan. These

she answered with whopping fibs.

It was a tall and handsome young man, with fair hair,

dressed in blazer and whites. A boater was perched atop

'He's gone off to Gallifrey.'

his head. He had halted in the act of eating one of the

pub's corned-beef rolls. He broke into a smile as she

'Gallifrey? Where have I heard that before?'

caught his eye, so she quickly looked away. No thank

you. Not wanted on voyage. She put down her glass and

'It's in Ireland.'

reached for her bag, intending to head off for an

afternoon's painting and possibly a little sleep.

'Rather risky at the moment, surely?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

But the young man had got up from his seat, and

'You'll have seen the red sphere, the biodatapod?

intercepted her as she headed for the steps that led Interesting thing. A near-infinite memory capacity in down from the raised area of the tables to the street such a small pod. It uses the fractal technology of the below. 'Excuse me - but it's Bernice, isn't it? Bernice Matrix, I suspect. Well, I went to Laylock carrying a Summerfield?'

memory module, which contained a fictional persona I'd

developed

using

information

from

the

TARDIS

'Yes...' Benny stared at the man, trying to place him. She databanks.'

was sure that she'd never met him before. Perhaps he

was one of Alexander's friends. 'I'm sorry, have we met

'You'd used the telepathic circuits beforehand, I saw that before?'

in the console log.

'Hah! Goodness, Professor, the answer's both yes and

'Did I?' The young man pondered, rubbing his chin. 'Now no. Let me see, this would be the time when, ah, you've why was that? Oh yes, of course - the telepathic circuits just seen me off on my bicycle, haven't you! Oh dear, I'm sop up the memories of passengers like a sponge in afraid I did make you worry.'

water. I was using the recollections of previous

occupants to create Smith.'

Benny stared at him, her mouth open. 'Doctor?'

'What, companions like me?'

'Tenth, actually. I pop back here quite often now. I say,

you're drinking sherry! Wouldn't you prefer a... pint of

'Exactly. Including you, actually.'

bitter, wasn't it?'

'Oh dear. I wonder what?'

Benny unsteadily sat back down, and the man settled

opposite her.

'Nothing appalling, if I recall rightly.' He reached out and

tapped Benny's nose gently. Benny smiled. It hadn't

'My God,' she laughed, 'this is a bit of a shock. I'm occurred to her, but she rather missed all that hugging surprised that this sort of thing doesn't happen more that the Doctor went in for. It used to irritate her, but it often, really, with time travel and all that. Well, hey, now was typical of him that just when she needed a bit of that you're here, maybe you could explain why you did physical contact, he turned into a chap who felt this to yourself?'

uncomfortable about shaking her hand.

'Made myself into a human, you mean? It was a long Well, obviously the Tenth Doctor was pretty tactile. time ago, Benny, I'm not really sure that there was a Risking the disapproval of the townsfolk, she tapped his particular reason. I purchased the equipment off of a nose back.

lovely old chap called Laylock on the planet Crex, a

bodysmith by trade. But you were there, weren't you?'

He grinned. 'Laylock used the character I'd written to

program the biodatapod. He stuck it to my forehead, and

'Not quite. I just got to see the before and after it sucked all the Doctorish memories and abilities out of comparison. What exactly did you do?'

me, and replaced them with the fictional ones. It also

wooshed thousands of nanites into my bloodstream, and, in about a nanosecond, they transformed my 71

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

physical being into that of a human, just as I'd wanted. The man laughed with her. He had a pleasant chuckle. The nanites rushed off with all of the Time Lord cellular

'Would you like to meet my new companion?'

information, back into the Pod, leaving me as - '

'Of course. Are they here?'

'Doctor John Smith of Aberdeen, the schoolteacher. I

see. And you recovered, just as promised, after three

'She's round the back, in the beer garden, playing on the months?'

climbing frame.'

'Well, Benny, you know that is future information, but...'

Benny raised an eyebrow. 'I think this is going to make He glanced conspiratorially upwards, as if to check that me feel very old.'

the Time Lords weren't watching. 'Of course I did, or I

wouldn't be here now, talking to you like this. I put the

***

sphere back to my forehead, or, as I recall, you did it for

me, and the process was reversed. I woke up rather Aphasia had indeed been playing on the climbing frame shocked, but quite happy.'

in the otherwise deserted beer garden, her balloon tied

to her wrist, but then she'd noticed something: a little Benny nodded, reflecting on her conversation with Smith wooden table on a pole, with bread laid out on it. A earlier on. 'I'll bet.' She bit her lip, wondering if she sparrow fluttered down, took a bit of the bread in its should ask the question that had been nagging at her beak and flew away.

mind for the last few minutes. She reached out and took

the Doctor's hand between hers. 'Listen, you know I've So Aphasia had taken the bread, put it on the other end been going through it a bit in the last few weeks. Do I... of the wooden table where she was sitting, and stared at does everything... turn out all right for me? I'd like to it, ready. The sparrow had bravely returned for more know. Can you tell me?'

bread. A few minutes later, Benny came round the

comer of the pub, clutching the pint that her new friend The fair-haired man took a deep breath, and the look in had bought her. He walked with her, having refilled his his eyes scared her terribly. 'Benny - '

glass of wine. 'Aphasia, say hello to an old companion of

mine, Bernice Summerfield.'

'No! Actually, I don't want to know, I've changed my

mind. Don't tell me. Please.' Benny raised her arms in a Aphasia made a face, and Benny laughed, sitting down pacifying gesture. 'I think I could do with that pint now.'

at the table beside her. 'You've got a mouthful of crisps,

haven't you? Just like me. I was always told not to eat

'Benny, relax, nothing terrible happens to you. The last so-'

time I saw you, you had, oh, six husbands and three

children, and were enjoying being first lady of the court A feather sneaked out from Aphasia's lips. She licked it of Cartufel, at the galactic core.'

quickly back in.

'Fast...' Benny stared at the semi-dissected bird that lay Benny laughed in relief. 'Six husbands? Really?

on the seat beside the little girl.

Goodness, at least I get Sundays off.'

'Aphasia! How many times have I told you not to do that!' The man in white shielded the bird from Benny's 73

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

gaze with his boater. 'I'm terribly sorry. She's a little

hunter, from one of the lost colonies. Her parents are

'Oh yes. I've just remembered, I left something on the dead. She survived in the wild until I found her. I'm stove.'

gradually teaching her the ways of civilization.'

'Before you go, please tell me, erm, how do you think I

'Yes, well, don't worry, that's, erm, fine...' said Benny, compare with your Doctor?'

concentrating on her pint. 'We can say hello when she's

finished her lunch. Tell me more about this experiment Benny glanced at Aphasia. 'Compared to him I think of yours that I'm taking part in.'

you're rather heartless. See you later.' She reached for

her handbag.

The young man sat down. 'Well, I realize that us meeting

now explains a joke you made to me when I recovered. Something slashed past the tips of her fingers, and the, You said that I looked like myself again.'

handle came away from the bag, which went flying.

'Mm-hmm. Sounds like me. I must remember to do that.'

The man was on his feet, miming holding a sword.

'I've been trying to remember more about the whole No, not miming. Benny felt, rather than saw, something situation, but I'm understandably hazy. We hid the incredibly sharp cutting the air into ozone in front of her datapod with my real persona in it somewhere rather throat. 'Your sense of humour lets you down, Professor. artful, didn't we?'

I gather that you checked my pulse and found only one

beat. Is that all that gave me away?'

Benny nodded, smiling ruefully. She put down her glass

and took his hand gently between hers again.

'Hardly. The Doctor's a vegetarian, you see. Add that to

'Remember where?'

the bird-eating companion and the three children, and I

was getting rather suspicious. You want the Biodatapod,

'Can't say I do.'

I suppose?'

Benny let go of his hand and shook her head. 'Well, see

'That's right. Aphasia - ' The little girl was tipping the if you can before tonight. Bring little Aphasia with the contents of the handbag over the table. The man glanced apt name and we'll have dinner. No game, I'm afraid, but at her for a second.

I do make a nice vegetarian quiche.'

Benny slapped the pint into his face.

The Tenth Doctor frowned. 'We'd be delighted, but I can't

seem to remember where you're staying.'

The glass spun away in two as it hit the sword.

Benny was getting to her feet, smoothing her skirt! 'Then But Benny was already sprinting for the stile that led that'll be another challenge, won't it?'

into the next field.

The man exchanged glances with the little girl, who was The man dived after her, pulling a gun from his belt onefinishing up her bird quickly. 'All right. Do you have to handed. 'Stop!' he shouted.

rush off?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Benny hurdled the stile, splinters of it exploding up The balloon had floated down to the level of the around her knees as a warning burst of silent scarlet ploughed soil, and was making gentle, circular motions. energy bolts ripped the wood apart.

Suddenly, it halted, and then sped off across the Beyond the stile was a ploughed field. She stared at it in ground, straight towards the hedgerow where Benny horror and dived for the hedgerow.

sheltered. Greeneye dashed after it, his sword raised

above his head.

By the time that Greeneye had scrambled over the

burning remains of the stile, his quarry was nowhere to The balloon dipped down into the ditch. Benny was be seen. 'You haven't vanished, Professor!' he called, amazed to see a red sphere pushing quickly through the turning slowly to examine the trees and hedges around ferns above her face, as if shoved by a hand. The thing him, invisible sword in one hand and gun in the other. paused a minute, and then rushed at her.

'We only want the Pod. Tell us where it is and we won't

harm you.'

The surface engulfed her face.

Benny didn't reply. She was curled up in the ditch by She hadn't had time to take a breath. The skin of the the hedge, a mass of ferns wrapped around her. She was thing tasted warm and organic, not like rubber at all. busy undoing her skirt as quietly as possible. The damn She started to gag, but forced the reflex down, her hands thing had nearly sent her sprawling head first into the scrabbling frantically at the balloon. Her fingers couldn't stile.

seem to hold on to it, slipping off as they tried to grab it

or burst it or something. The red material was trying to

'Very well. Aphasia, it's time for your balloon.'

force itself down her throat and into her nostrils. She

couldn't breathe.

Greeneye gestured to the little girl.

In a minute, she'd pass out, and they'd have her.

'Should have done it right away,' Aphasia sulked,

untying the balloon from her wrist. 'Balloon, find the A shadow appeared over the ditch, and in a red haze, lady and snuggle her.' She let go of the string, and the Benny realized that her attacker was standing over her, red balloon floated up into the air. It stopped, just above the ozone-stripping blade slicing vegetation with mere head height and moved in the direction of the stile, until gentle movements a few inches from her face. it stopped above Greeneye's shoulder.

If she fell now, then the Doctor would be absolutely Benny had slid out of the skirt, and was trying to remain vulnerable.

as still as possible. It wouldn't be long, she reasoned,

before somebody from the pub ventured into the garden So she wasn't going to let that happen. and saw the burning stile. That might be fatal, since

these two, whoever they were, didn't seem to care if they With an audible yell, she pushed her head straight at were seen or not. But them being scared off seemed to the blade.

be her only chance right now.

The balloon hit it. And exploded.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

In the garden, Aphasia started screaming, shrill child Benny jumped up beside him and swiftly covered herself screams that didn't stop.

up with the apron. 'Home, Mr Hodges,' she told him Greeneye snarled, slammed his gun into some invisible grimly. 'And don't spare the horses.'

holster and reached down with his free hand to grab Benny. He hauled her up to his eye-level by her hair,

and shook her until the scraps of balloon, now turning an ugly brown, fell from her face. 'You hurt her!' he bellowed.

'You started it,' Benny told him.

He yanked her head roughly to one side.

Her hair-extensions came away in his hand. He stared at them for a second.

She butted him across the bridge of the nose.

Greeneye fell back and slashed wildly with his sword.

The blade cut a fine line across the blouse material over Benny's stomach.

She turned and sprinted away along the ditch in her bloomers, glancing over her shoulder to see him scramble to his feet, clutching his nose. A little crowd of townsfolk were kicking the stile away. One pointed at her, and suddenly Greeneye was at the centre of a mass of hearty and drunken young men, determined to avenge her honour. She ignored gallant shouts to return and jumped up on to a gate, then over it.

She landed in a side-road, right in front of Mr Hodges'

greengrocer's wagon.

'Whoa!' Hodges shouted, pulling up the horses as they whinnied and bucked. He opened his mouth at the sight of Benny's muddied and disrobed state, blushed and started frantically to clamber out of his apron. 'What in -

? I mean, by God, girl-'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

But still, somewhere in a dream, he felt different things about this material. Something about it spoke of sacrifice.

What a strange existence this was, when all that was

inside him seemed to contradict the world. Bigger on the inside than the outside, and bursting at the seams.

'Sir? Sir?' Anand was calling. 'We're ready to play, sir.'

Smith started and looked up. 'Yes. Ready. Have you Ch

C apter rFou

o r

picked teams?' He glanced around and saw that a complete field had been assembled on the pitch, and that Hutchinson and Merryweather had taken up Good and Bad at Games

position, doubtless without much debate, with their bats at each wicket. Alton turned his head from wicket keeping and raised an eyebrow at Smith questioningly. A line of boys were sitting beside him with varied degrees of interest, ready to get padded up and go on. 'I see that Smith wobbled out on to the pitch, pullovers wrapped you have. Well, go on.'

around his waist. He took up his place on the little rise

beside the cricket pitch. On a distant hillside, a shaft of Anand nodded and turned to begin his run-up. Smith undiluted sunlight was illuminating the ground. glanced over his shoulder and saw Tim, way out on the

boundary, gazing at the infield hopefully. Smith Smith wished he were there. Only this cricket practice, chastised himself. One little mental wander, and the and then he could go home, change, settle down to Hulton team captain was sent off to the middle of dinner and conversation with Joan.

nowhere. He glanced back at Hutchinson, the watery

sunlight dappling the boy's shirt as he thumped his It had been nice to see Bernice. She was like her father crease, anticipating Anand's first ball. in some way, he wasn't really sure which. Jonathan had

been in the Navy, broke his nose in Pompey Barracks. And tried to ignore the fact that the boy looked up to Bit of a clumsy so and so. Which was odd, for a sailor. smirk at him.

Smith pondered on his image of sailors. He'd known of

two, and both seemed very unlike everything he knew

***

about the profession. Everything he'd learnt.

Bernice ran from the cart into her cottage and bolted the He glanced down at the woollens wrapped about his door behind her. Hodges had spent the whole journey waist. He remembered the feel of them. He'd worn one asking her half-embarrassed, half-salacious questions, that his mother had made for him, playing in the street and seemed to be on the verge of either calling the police with the other children. His should associate them with or following her inside when she'd hopped from his cart. proud poverty and ambition.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she ran So she'd opened the pouch in her wrist, and pulled out into her bedroom, and winced. No time to wash the mud the bulb, and then they'd started to scream. off. She flicked open the locks of her cases, and pulled

on some jeans, a T-shirt and some more useful boots Through the haze of her vision, the little girl saw that, than these lace-up monstrosities with heels. Finally, her ahead of her, a nurse had fallen, pulling over a trolley of work jacket with all the pockets. They'd expect her to instruments as she did. The body lay across the junction head straight for the Pod, of course, but if she could do of two corridors and was still fairly intact. Aphasia that without them tracking her, then all she had to do redoubled her efforts to walk and stumbled to her knees was to rugby-tackle Smith and put the thing against his beside the body.

forehead.

The wrist pouch wouldn't close. She'd die if she didn't do She crept quickly downstairs, mentally saying goodbye something soon and that'd let down all her fathers and to the place. Her easel still stood in the garden outside, her dear son, Hoff.

the painting half-finished.

She reached for the nurse's decaying face, and started to

***

feed.

Everything spoilt, as always.

***

Aphasia staggered down the hospital corridor, holding

'Sir!'

her stomach. Her tiny hand clutched for the railing on

the wall, and she pushed herself along with it, leaving Smith, despite his intentions, was deep in Mansfield traces of brown liquid at every touch. That didn't make Park when he heard the shout. He waved a hand much difference to the overall colour scheme. The walls distractedly -

were covered with a thin organic paste, green and

brown, which was also dripping from the ceiling as a

- and found a cricket ball in it.

cycle of mist and condensation.

The schoolboys applauded and whistled. Smith tossed This place smelt. This whole world smelt. They'd taken the ball back to the bowler and bowed exaggeratedly. her away in a vehicle, when she'd been injured, and

they'd tried to make her lie down and put a mask over

'That could have taken your head off, sir!' said Phipps, her face. She'd tried to tell them that she just needed to awed.

go and heal herself, but they didn't listen, they just said

stupid things to her.

'Oh, probably not. Still, someone must be looking after

me ...' Smith would have turned his attention back to The gas hadn't knocked her out, and when they noticed his book, but the boys became agitated again, a great that, they'd taken off the mask and started talking whispering and the occasional whistle disturbing those excitedly to each other. They wheeled her into this place sitting beside him.

on a trolley.

He looked up to see his niece, dressed in very tight trousers, running frantically across the ground towards 83

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

him. The batsmen paused as she ran between the

'To...' Bernice stopped and turned slowly, pointing at wickets, their gaze following her, awestruck. strange red marks on three trees. She settled on the

middle one. 'This particular tree. Sit down under it. As soon as Bernice reached the little rise where Smith We're about to recreate a moment in history.'

was sitting, she was offered a flurry of jackets and

pullovers to cover herself with, as well as a panama hat Smith sat, cross-legged, under the tree, looking rather from the laconic Alton. She waved them all aside, embarrassed. 'Which one?'

grabbed Smith's hand and hauled him to his feet.

'Newton and the apple.' Benny put her foot up on a low

'Come on,' she said. 'I've got something to show you.'

branch and started to climb up the tree. The boys coughed and muttered things, and a few grins

sprang up.

Smith looked quickly away. 'Those trousers are rather

immodest.'

'I haven't time...' Smith looked around in confusion.

'This is Bernice, my niece. Bernice, these are my boys.'

Benny frowned as she climbed. 'I'm not used to you

noticing things like that. Ah, here we are.' The crown of

'There's no time for that. You must come with me, it's a the tree was swollen, as if a growth of some kind was matter of life and death.'

inside. Following the instructions in the Doctor's note,

Benny had put the red sphere there and watched as the

'It is?' Smith squared his jaw. 'Very well. Lead on.' He tree's wood had grown to encompass it in seconds. pointed stoically and marched off, then glanced back. Apparently, Time Lord biodata had that effect on living

'Shall I bring some of the boys?'

things, making them a bit like Time Lords. A Time Lord ish tree wouldn't be as disturbing as a Time Lord-ish

'No,' Benny told him. 'Just bring yourself.'

person, or even sheep. Benny wondered if the tree's bark

rings were forming question marks or something.

'Finish the game,' Smith called back to his class as she Indeed, in the brief time that she'd handled the Pod, led him away by the arm, quite a bit faster than he was Benny herself had felt an odd sense of presence to the able to walk. 'Then go in for prep if I'm not back.'

thing. For the same reasons, the sphere couldn't be kept

in the TARDIS. It would mess up the telepathic circuits. Hutchinson stared after them, shaking his head at the

little man. 'Have a nice time, Smith,' he snarled. 'The She pulled the TARDIS key from her pocket, and, Head's going to love this.'

dangling it over the tree, slapped the swollen wood three

times with her hand.

'Bernice, where are you taking me?' Smith protested,

shaking off her arm. They were marching through the The wood flowed back like liquid, to reveal - orchard that bordered the school, a vast, overgrown river

of fruit trees that was part of the Marcham Estate. They

- an empty, ball-shaped cavity.

had already ventured too far off the footpath for Smith's

liking. This was almost certainly trespassing. Benny swore six times. 'And is that really ladylike

language?' asked Smith.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Shut up,' Benny snapped. 'Whether you know it or not, Tim jumped to his feet. 'No!' he shouted, and ran we're both in a great deal of trouble.'

forward.

Sitting at a little distance from the other boys, Tim Hutchinson bowled. Disturbed by the shout, the sneaked a look at the red sphere in his pocket. batsman skewed the ball high in the air, right above

Tim.

He'd found it when he was walking on his own in the

orchard. He'd felt drawn to a particular tree, and sat The young boy stared up at it, silhouetted against the down in its shadow. Before long, he'd fallen asleep. bright sky. He began to shiver terribly.

When he awoke, the red sphere was sitting on his chest. The ball was whistling as it came down, and the sky had

turned dark and ruddy. He heard Hutchinson shouting It looked like it had fallen from the tree. The thing was something.

hard and shiny, a shine that couldn't be scratched. It

looked very like a cricket ball, actually, except there was He raised his hands in a gesture of prayer. The explosion no seam, no indication of how such a thing might have engulfed them, their whites turning to cinder and their been made.

faces jerking back in frozen expressions of pain and

sudden surrender.

He always kept it with him now, because it made him

feel a little better. It was like he had a secret, something And then Tim was just standing there, holding the ball. that made him special. The sphere seemed to tell him

things, sometimes, in that a thought came into his mind The other boys weren't screaming, they were laughing. that he couldn't possibly have thought. The thoughts The batsman was staring at him incredulously. were always brave and noble.

'Is it possible to get one of your own side out?' laughed Perhaps he was a prince, secretly in charge of some Hutchinson. 'Just the sort of leadership we need, foreign land, and this was one of the crown jewels of that Captain Bug!'

place. Just seeing it caused him to remember his true

destiny.

In the distance, bells began to ring. The boys picked up

their kit bags, and started to file towards the school for

'Captain Bug! Are you listening to me, Captain Bug?'

prep.

Hutchinson was standing over him. 'Our wonderful form

master has taken the new balls away with him. Give us But Tim stayed, looking at the sphere, for a long time. that.' He snatched the red sphere from Tim.

***

Tim stared after the boy as he walked off, idly tossing

the sphere in one hand. He took up position distantly

'But there was something there you needed to see! You then ran in fast to bowl at the small boy who'd taken up have to believe me!' Benny walked quickly after Smith his stance in front of the wicket.

back towards the school. 'Your real name is the Doctor,

you're not from this planet. Try and remember!'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Smith glared at her with a mixture of anger and now. A fire engine roared past down the street, a fireman disturbed pity. 'If I'm not from this planet, why do I look on the side ringing its bell urgently as the wooden ladder and sound like a Scottish schoolteacher?'

on its roof rocked from side to side. Bernice noticed that

a column of brown smoke was rising from the other side

'I... I don't know why; you've looked and sounded like a of town. That looked ominous.

number of Englishmen too.'

Perhaps the lads at the pub hadn't detained her attacker

'Now I know you're making this up.' 'Look, I can show for very long. That was a worrying thought, unarmed you a box that's bigger on the inside than the outside.'

humans circa 1914 taking on somebody armed with

sophisticated weaponry like that. Between them, the Smith closed his eyes, as if struck by a sudden thought, man and the little girl could cut a swathe through this but he just as quickly opened them again and kept lot. And there was no Doctor to stop them. walking, not looking at Benny. 'Thank you, no, I've got a

dinner appointment. I mustn't be late.'

So what was she going to do? There was always the

TARDIS. If she could kidnap Smith somehow and get

'Listen, there are people out there who might want to him inside, she might actually be able to persuade him hurt you.'

of the truth. She hadn't tried to go into the details of

what had happened yet. They sounded pretty ridiculous

'Ah.' Smith turned suddenly and pointed at her, an even to her, but maybe they'd touch a nerve. uneasy half-frown on his face. 'You're trying to distract

me. Don't. I'm confused enough. All these...' He waggled She broke from cover and dashed up the path to the the hand irritatedly, searching for the right word. 'All cottage gate then unlocking the door with one twist of these... fantasies. They're bad for you. They get between the key. If this was going to be a long-term job, or even if you and the real world. This is all there is, Bernice. The Smith really was going to snap out of it in three weeks, school and the boys and dinner. We can't leave it, we she needed to put a pack together. The bloody forest was can't change it. We just have to live with it. So do that. beckoning again.

University seems to have been a bad idea for you. I'll

talk to Jonathan about it. And put some clothes on. Having checked every room, Bernice quickly assembled Good night.'

the basics: camping stove; tent; bottle of rather fine

Aldebaran brandy; and shoved them all into a bag. She'd Benny stopped, and watched Smith march into the brought them along for outings, but the comfort of the school buildings.

cottage had kept her here.

When he was out of earshot, she swore eight times. She crept downstairs. She wanted to warn Alexander

about what was going on, but having warned one

***

person, where could you stop? She suspected that, soon

enough, the whole town would know that there were She returned to the cottage carefully, making her way aliens about. 'I say!' a voice called, and Benny spun to from hedge to hedge as if this quiet little town was a war see Constance knocking on the window. The woman zone. She hadn't been followed going to get the Pod, so frowned when she saw the way Benny was dressed. 'I the man with the sword probably wasn't tracking her say, do let me in, they're behind me!'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Why, the place seems to be on fire. That's where the fire Benny swore ten times as she pulled the bolts out, and brigade are going. All go in town today.'

hauled Constance inside. 'Who's behind you?' she

asked.

Benny shook her head. 'You don't know the half of it. Do

you know where I can find a gun?'

'Why, the police. What on earth are you dressed like a

man for? I mean, I've dared to wear the odd pantaloon Constance looked at her shoes, abashed. 'A gun? Do you myself, but what have you done to your hair? Those mean to shoot him? I understand the urge, but don't trousers are positively obscene, darling.'

you think - '

'Never mind my trousers, Constance. I might be being

'I wasn't molested, Constance, at least not in the way chased myself.'

you mean. I need to defend myself, and you know where

I can find the means to do that.' Benny put her hands

'Yes, I heard. You poor dear. I think that's why they've on the young woman's shoulders and stared into her called in extra police. They arrived in a motor van. We eyes. 'Don't you?'

both were heading here, and I managed to put a bit of a

lead on with my bicycle when they got trapped behind

'Yes,' Constance said, after a moment. 'We don't have some sheep, but - '

any guns; we've never had the need to use them, but we

are equipped to damage property on a large scale. But

'You're saying the police are on their way here?'

the ordnance isn't to be used for-'

'Yes, because you were, you know, interfered with. At

'Near here?'

the pub. Bernice, if they see you in that get-up, they'll

have you locked up in an asylum and let that thug who

'Very.'

did it off with a warning!'

There came a harsh, official knock on the door. 'Come

'They locked him up?'

on,' said Benny. 'You show me the way. We'll go across

the fields. I'm getting used to ditches.'

'No, they're still after him. There were veterans from

three different regiments at that inn. They competed Joan carefully lifted the lid from one of the saucepans on over him, but he still got away. I think it was while he the stove and peeped inside. 'Perfect.' She replaced it, was being dragged to the police station by the Dragoons.'

and, humming a ragtime tune to herself, popped to the

mirror in the lounge to check her make-up.

'Sounds nasty. What about the little girl?'

Well, it would have to do. She didn't look too much of a

'He hurt her too, didn't he? She was driven to hospital. ruin for a woman in her forties. Like one of those Out of the frying pan, I'm afraid...'

duchesses that surrounded themselves with an army of

handsome young men. She'd like to have had her hair

'What do you mean?'

done, but her invitation to John had been on such an

impulse that there hadn't been time. That was the thing about her job, no time to get anything else done, what 91

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

with preparation and marking and all that. No time to

really live.

But there was something else. He looked left and right

along the road. There was nobody about. She glanced at the clock on the wall, chided herself and

dashed back into the kitchen.

Carefully, he puckered his lips and touched them to the

bark of the tree. He experimented with wider and

***

narrower kisses, finally letting go with a little scowl and

shrug. He didn't remember kissing anybody since Verity. Dr Smith wandered jauntily along the lane, glancing up Surely there must have been. There'd been somebody at the darkening sky from time to time. He was dressed called Barbara, hadn't there? In Rome - an Italian? But in white tie and tails, with a top hat, gloves and a white he'd never been to Rome. He must have read it in a gardenia in his buttonhole. He was whistling a tune he book, probably one of those Arnold Bennetts that were couldn't place, and wondering about all manner of keeping him awake at night.

things he didn't understand. In his pocket was the

second part of his story:

All in all, it was a good thing that he wouldn't be doing

any kissing tonight either.

The tribe of Gallifrey thought that the inventor was a god,

and started to worship him, but then he told them not to. He spun on his heel and doubled his speed along the

road.

'I have brought new ideas for you,' he said. 'I want to help

you.'

Joan opened the door of her little house to him and took

his hat, popping it on the peg in the hallway. 'What a KAnd so he told them about travelling through time and nut you look! It's nearly ready,' she told him. 'I hope you space, and about the police. He taught them how to build like fish?'

police boxes, and he taught them about law and books

and civilization.

'I don't know,' Smith grinned. 'What sort of fish is it?'

It was progressing, but he still didn't know where it was

'Cod in a white wine sauce, new potatoes and mixed going.

vegetables. I am not exactly Rosa Lewis, but - '

He stopped beside a tree and doffed his hat to it. I

'I'm sure it'll be fine. How was your day?' Smith wonder, could I have this dance?'

wandered about the room, examining the pictures and

ornaments that decorated the front room. He took off his He took the tree by its lower branches and stepped gloves and put them down on a bureau. As Joan turned carefully back, moving his feet as if the thing were back to the kitchen, he raised a small display case that following his lead. No, his ability to foxtrot hadn't seemed to have fallen over on the mantelpiece, saw that deserted him, so Joan's gramophone wouldn't be a it contained three medals and put it back down again. tremendous obstacle; though if she wanted to bunny

hug or chicken scramble, he'd be at a loss.

'Fine,' Joan called. 'Lab all afternoon, and you know

boys and chemicals, they love mixing things up and She wouldn't though, would she? Not in private, anyway. 93

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making clouds of smoke. Talking of which, did you see They began to set up the pieces. 'That's odd. Most people the fire in town today?'

choose white.'

'No.' Smith settled into an armchair. 'Cricket practice.

'I suppose that I like other people to make the first What was burning?'

move,' she murmured, not looking up.

'Mr Blum the fishmonger says that it was St Catherine's.

We will have to see what the paper says tomorrow.'

'I'm just the opposite.'

'The hospital...' Smith pondered, hefting a gunmetal

'Are you really?'

paperweight in his hands. There was an insignia of some

kind stamped in the metal, a few numbers and letters. They played for a few minutes, then Smith seemed to He quickly put it down as Joan came back into the break off thinking about a move. 'My niece came to see room.

me on the cricket pitch today. She's down from

Newnham College. She was dressed in trousers.'

'It's ready,' she said. 'Come on through.' The meal, as it

turned out, was excellent. Afterwards, Joan set up a

'Oh, a suffragette. Silly things. We'll get the vote sooner little table in the front room, and they played a few of or later, just as Mill predicted. I don't think there's much their customary hands of whist, at which she was point in burning things down.'

supreme, as always.

'No,' Smith agreed. 'There's always a way to talk yourself Smith threw up his hands and let his cards fall to the out of a situation. She dragged me off into the orchard.'

table. 'You're too good for me. Is there another game we

could play?'

'You did say niece?'

She arched an eyebrow. 'You sound like a young rake.'

'Yes. My brother's daughter. She's called Bernice. You

ought to meet her. I'm sure you'd like each other.'

'I, erm, ah, well, I was wondering if you played chess?'

'Quite possibly. These bright young things take my Smith fumbled with his collar and succeeded in breath away, with their motor cars and their vortexes.'

unfastening a button.

'Sorry, their what?'

'Not very well, but I do have a set.' Joan exited for a

moment then returned, blowing the dust from a fabric'Oh, you know, Wyndham Lewis and all that. It is as if bound board. 'Under the bed, and rather distressed.'

all the rules about art have been torn up. All very

exciting, but they do make me feel quite old.'

'I'll only distress it more. Which side do you want?'

'Oh, Bernice isn't that young. Thirty-two. I think.' '

'Black.' She sat down, pulling her chair around to face

his.

Your brother must be much older than you.'

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'Yes. He's a sailor. Got his nose caught in... She wanted

me to see a tree.'

'Whitman also said - Oh, hello, Wolsey.' The tabby tom cat had wandered under the table, put up a questioning

'Why?'

paw against Joan's leg and then hopped up on to her

lap. 'Are you a cat person, John?'

'I don't know. She tried to find something there, but

couldn't. She told me it was very important.'

'Yes,' said Smith, still looking as if he was trying to

organize several different thoughts that were buzzing

'Oh dear. Do you think that she could be in trouble?'

randomly around his head. 'May I?'

'Perhaps. I don't know. She seemed to think that I was.'

Joan paused only a moment. 'Yes, of course, Wolsey

loves attention. He arrived after I'd moved in here. He's a

'Hmm. I could imagine you getting into trouble quite wanderer. I'm not sure how long he's planning to stay.'

easily, but I think you would be able to get out of it,

also.'

Smith got up and made his way to Joan's side of the

table, the chess game forgotten. He squatted beside her

'That's not usually the way.'

and gently put his fingers on Wolsey's chin. Wolsey had

his eyes closed as Joan stroked his stomach, but now he

'I can see you as a prefect or something, running about opened them and rubbed the scent glands on the side of organizing things. Where did you go to school?'

his head against Smith's fingers.

'Well, that's complicated... An old woman taught me how Smith trailed the tip of one finger round the back of the to read, at my father's hearth. Her name was Sarah cat's ear as it curled itself on the white material of McLeod. She died at Culloden.'

Joan's lap, stretching its back to be stroked. Joan ran

her fingers down its back, letting Wolsey feel the tips of

'Oh, I'm sorry. A classical place for a McLeod to die, her nails, as Smith rubbed it under the chin with his though.'

thumb, smiling as the cat stretched its jaw forward in

pleasure.

A sudden image had rushed into Smith's mind,

contradictory to anything he could express - an old lady

on the end of a bayonet. 'She was old,' he whispered.

'And then I went to a little school in London. I carried the Oxford English Dictionary in my left blazer pocket and a bag of marbles in my right. No wonder I started to lean to the left.'

Joan laughed. 'You seem to have lived several lifetimes. Like Whitman, you contain multitudes.'

'It feels that way, sometimes,' Smith agreed, missing the reference.

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'They aren't. I don't keep things safe. I used to. Perhaps. I can't keep all the plates spinning. I drop some.'

Their hands collided across the soft expanse of Wolsey's stomach. Smith's hand swept right over Joan's and she kept that hand still, accepting, the tips of her fingers gently playing with the smallest swirls of the animal's fur.

A moment later, Smith's hand swept back again and she looked at the top of his head as the hand passed over hers, delighting enormously that he didn't look up and meet her gaze with something terrible and shattering like a smile.

'Well, that is always the risk, if you're a plate, isn't it?'

she whispered, letting her fingers catch his cuff, but

keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the fine hairs at the

'Look, he likes this,' said Joan, her voice low. She took back of his neck. 'If you want to be spun, then you must the base of the cat's tail gently in her hand, and accept the possibility of being broken.'

smoothed it all the way down, letting go of the end with

a little reflexive twitch. She repeated the action many Slowly, his head came up to look at her, his gaze flicking times, shifting her weight to give Wolsey more room to uncertainly over her face, as if in search of a sign. His turn and twist in her lap. The cat was purring loudly pupils were bigger than she'd ever seen a man's be, and and unrestrainedly, opening itself up to the two pairs of she'd seen several.

hands. While Joan smoothed its tail, Smith was running

the tips of his fingers along its stomach.

'And do you - ' he gruffed, seeming to have such

difficulty with the words, but with no difficulty at all in

'My goodness,' Joan breathed. 'You must be good at the sudden certain strength of his stare, 'accept that that. He normally grabs people who do that and tries to possibility?'

bite them.'

Joan paused for a moment, feeling Wolsey squirm at the

'I'm good with cats,' Smith muttered. 'They run right up sudden lack of their hands. She wetted her lips and to me as if they know something I don't.'

willed herself to form the sound. 'Yes.'

'And do they?'

He bent his head to her, and like a little boy just

discovering this, took her face in his hands. They were

'I don't know.'

warm and still against the skin of her cheek. She felt

that, more than she'd felt anything for years. She closed

'They must feel safe in your hands.'

her eyes. The distance between then and now hurt 99

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

inside her, and she let go of the breath she'd been Smith's face hardened. 'Stand up,' he told her. holding, letting herself breathe deeply and fast,

remembering all the things about being married that

'Oh no, John...' Joan's voice sounded utterly lost. 'No, she'd enjoyed and let herself forget. Her heart was please don't. You won't tell, at least say you won't tell, I'll pounding like a dance, but he was studying her, like a give you anything - '

painter, from a distance. She opened her eyes again, and

saw that he was terribly afraid.

'Hush.' Smith sternly walked into the hall and picked his

hat from the peg. He positioned it carefully on his head.

'Yes,' she insisted. 'Yes.'

Joan ran to the door, and pushed herself between it and

'Yes,' he said. And brought her mouth on to his. After a him. She'd had time to become angry now. 'How dare moment, a minute, they parted again. And kissed again, you use me this way!' she demanded. 'To think I trusted exploringly this time, now that that terrible uncertain you! I may be ruined tomorrow, but I'll tell you what I thing was dead and they were delighting in the think of you first!'

knowledge that this was what they both wanted to do.

'And what's that?' Smith grinned.

Finally they stopped, and Joan let her head fall on to his

shoulder, and, in a kind of unlikely stumble, they got up

'That - ' Joan frowned. 'That... what are you grinning at?'

and shuffled back to sit together on the sofa. Wolsey fell

off in disgust and stalked into the kitchen.

'I'm grinning at time. At circumstances. At my

sweetheart.'

'May I sit on your lap?' Joan asked. 'I feel, oh, I'm

blushing, like a young maid, and, I must admit, I'm

'You mean - '

rather enjoying it. You don't think me forward, do you?'

He tipped up the brim of his hat, and, against her slight

'Oh yes. ..' Smith giggled. 'Forward. As opposed to protest, kissed her again. 'I won't tell anyone, because I reverse. I've got all my gears mixed up.' He helped Joan don't tell people things I can't believe. You can tell me all as she got up, smoothed down her skirt and settled back about it again tomorrow. And tomorrow. And tomorrow.'

on to his lap. 'This is so ridiculous,' she said, not being

able to catch his eye as he awkwardly put an arm Joan laughed with relief and kissed him again, longer. around her waist. 'I've been married, I shouldn't feel all

'So why are you going?' she asked. 'I mean, you could nervous like this.'

stay for a little while longer at least.'

'I'm, erm, nervous too,' Smith muttered. 'I don't feel as

'I could - but I wouldn't want you to think anything was though I've ever done anything like this before.'

ruined. Least of all you.' He put a finger to her nose and

opened the door. 'Good night, Joan.'

'I'm glad you feel like that, because I'm terribly afraid,'

Joan whispered. 'You do mean you're my sweetheart,

'Good night, John. Oh -' She stopped him. 'I just don't you, John? I'm far too old to be ruined. Not that I realized. Smith and Joan.'

have been ruined yet. I mean at all. I mean - '

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'Well,' said Smith, kissing her knuckle, 'that does sound like a double act.'

And then he was gone, off into the night.

Joan gazed after him until he vanished, him turning and smiling back at her at intervals.

Then she closed the door and leant on it. 'Oh my goodness,' she exclaimed, putting a hand to her breast.

'I think I just started getting younger.'

***

Ch

C apter rFiFve

Smith skipped down the lane, his hands in his pockets, Hurt/Comfort

whistling a tune that the Isley Brothers hadn't written yet, a grin that was unwipeable spread across his face.

Up ahead, he glimpsed a street lamp that hadn't ignited, Excerpt from the writings of Dr John Smith the last one on the comer before the darkness of the

countryside swept in.

So for what season or circumstance was I built? My

thumbs are useful, my appendix, which hurts sometimes He looked up at it and raised a hand, intending to tap as if newly made, is not. Sometimes it feels as if I'm the pole.

bigger on the inside physically, too. Joan told me that the

Latin I failed to understand referred to that. The school In romantic stories, the gas filament would then ignite. motto refers to the relative dimensions of books. I like He tapped.

that. If you could see information, a book would be like a

pin-cushion in your hand.

Nothing happened.

Still haven't found Gallifrey on the map. Maybe I made it Still indomitable, he shrugged, turned and made his way up?

off down the lane.

Behind him, a little corner of light sprang up. He Excerpt from a letter written by Joan Redfern, date glanced back at it and nodded. 'Yes.'

unknown

I'd forgotten. It was like a sleeping tiger, and it was suddenly awake and upon me again. And it was beautiful.

***

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As darkness fell across the valley below, Benny and They'd reached the top of the hill. Benny helped Constance were walking up a narrow lane, past badger Constance step over a stile, and they walked over to the sets and through thickets of stinging nettles that Benny statue. The old woman sat proudly on a stone chair, her had to swat aside with a stick taken from an old elm. bag clasped in her stone hands, looking down at the They were climbing up to the wooded hillsides, Benny valley.

realized, heading in the direction of the statue of Old

Meg.

While Constance started to examine the back of the

chair, Benny glanced down at the town below. During the walk, while Constance was silent, Benny had Comfortable lights had popped up all over and the come close to despairing. There'd been no sign of the smoke of evening cooking was drifting from chimneys. A aliens, if that was what they were. Perhaps the reason line of white steam marked the passage of a train along that the Pod was gone was that they'd found it and gone the branch line; she could just hear its sound in the too.

distance, the regular beat of humanity at peace.

She and the Doctor would be trapped here, and she'd She thought of scarlet explosions, for a moment, of have to find a way to survive when the money ran out. beams bursting across the valley, reducing the town to Perhaps Alexander would give her a job. At least she rubble in seconds. Actually, now that she'd got that could sleep in the TARDIS. If the aliens had the Pod and picture in her mind, something about the valley fitted. A hadn't left, mind you, the only option was to get it off of slow trail of brown smoke was drifting from the hospital, them by force. Now, that would be really difficult. which still had a fire engine standing beside it. She

shivered.

'Have you got arms dumps all over the place?' she asked

Constance.

Constance was examining the base of the statue. 'We'll

need a lever of some kind. What about your stick?'

'Yes. Asquith doesn't show any signs of budging, so

we're going to start blowing a few more things up.' The

'I can do better than that.' Benny unfolded a lightweight young woman had struggled valiantly up the hill, plastisteel crowbar from her jacket, pushed it into the hitching her skirts as they went.

thin gap between one of the stone panels and the

surrounding masonry, and heaved. After much shoving,

'What if a war starts and other people start blowing with Constance's help, the panel came away and fell to things up?'

the ground. Inside the block were a number of sticks of

industrial dynamite, packed in straw with long taper

'A war? With whom? I mean, it looked as if the Germans fuses. 'If only Ace were here,' said Benny, frowning at were going to have a pop a few years ago, but that's all the primitive explosives.

calmed down. Churchill's started to dismantle the Navy,

and they're doing likewise. No, it's only now, now that

'Who?'

there are no more wars to be fought in this world, that

we can really do something about our situation. Asquith

'Absent friends.' Benny reached inside and grabbed a thinks he can sleep easy, bar Ulstermen or Anarchists, bundle. It was sticky. 'I know nothing about this kind of but he hasn't reckoned with us.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

thing, but this doesn't feel very safe. How long have you

***

had it here?'

'The court martial will come to attention.' Hutchinson

'Ever since I stole it from a quarry. The first time I was banged the gavel on to the three bedside tables that had let out of prison and came down here on holiday, that been lined up in front of him. Tim stood on a bed facing was, oh, eighteen months ago?'

him, a horrified expression already on his face. The

other boys stood in a circle around him. 'The case is the Benny sucked in a breath, and carefully put the crown against Timothy Dean. The defendant is charged dynamite back. 'I think that's going to be more trouble with being a bug, and allowing his just punishment to than it's worth.'

be ignobly deferred by a master. How does the defendant

plead?'

'As you wish.' Constance watched as Benny replaced the

panel at the statue's base. 'Is your motive for seeking a Tim stared at the circle of boys. 'I... I don't.'

weapon purely revenge?'

They laughed. Hutchinson banged his gavel. 'Guilty or

'Hardly. A friend of mine's in trouble. I have to find a not guilty?'

certain object to help him.'

'I'm neither. Or both.' His voice was a whisper, but it

'And where is this object?'

seemed to echo from every corner of the dormitory. 'If

you're trying me, then you'll decide, won't you?'

'Ah, that's the question, isn't it? I have a terrible feeling

that I know who's got it. In any case, I'm in a bit of a

'Then another charge is added,' Hutchinson decided. pickle.'

'Contempt of court and of British justice. Let us first

hear from the prosecution.'

Constance checked the edges of the replaced panel of

masonry and straightened up. 'You're not in a pickle at

'My lord,' Merryweather stood up, a dish rag on his all. Where were you planning on staying this evening?'

head, clutching the lapel of his blazer, 'the prosecution's

case is that Dean, through the extraordinary protection Benny knew the answer to that instantly. She'd steeled of one Dr Smith, managed to get out of a simple slap herself for another night in the woods, already with the slipper. This can't be allowed to pass. The welcoming the idea of being alone like a boxer welcomes implications for discipline are terrible. I move that Dean the first punch. But Constance gave her a little more suffer the fullest possible punishment, and will prove heart. 'Perhaps there is somewhere. The house of a that this is most deserved. I call no witnesses, since I friend. If I tried to take that little lot down there, I think believe my case is proved by one look at the defendant's I'd explode on the way.'

buglike features.' He sat down.

'I'll go with you.' Constance took Benny's arm and

'And now the council for the defence,' said Hutchinson. carefully allowed herself to be led down the hillside. 'If I

'Let us hear from Dean's best friend, Darkie cannot provide you with weapons, at least I can manage Unpronounceable.'

moral support.'

Anand looked up from his uneasy place in the circle. 107

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

He'd kept his gaze to the ground previously, Hutchinson nodded. 'Very well. What's the verdict of the embarrassed that he was part of this idiocy. jury? Hands up for guilty.'

'Darkie Unpronounceable!' Hutchinson repeated, looking All the boys put their hands up but one. Anand. Timothy searchingly around the circle. 'If there is no defence, smiled at him.

then we shall proceed straight to the sentence.'

'So, guilty it is.' Hutchinson banged the gavel again. He Anand heaved a heavy sigh. 'I'm - '

reached behind him, and put a black square of the

material used to repair school uniform on his head. 'I

'No!' Timothy cried. Suddenly, all eyes were upon him. sentence Dean to be hanged by the neck until dead. Is

'There's nobody here called that. I'll defend myself.'

the executioner present?'

'Very well!' Hutchinson beamed, thumping down his Phipps raised his hand. In it was a noose made from gavel. 'What do you have to say for yourself?'

gym rope. Timothy stared at it.

Timothy paused, considering. When he spoke, his voice

'You're joking, of course?' said Anand, looking between quivered with fear. If only he'd let Anand defend him. Timothy and the rope. 'You can't go through with it.'

Lately, his thoughts seemed to be full of danger like this,

leading him into all sorts of awkward comers. 'I'm sorry

'Shut up, darkie. Take him to the window.' The boys that I didn't hear Dr Smith yesterday. It won't happen rushed forward, pulling Timothy off his feet and carrying again.'

him towards the window. Somebody pulled it open and

propped it up. The noose was thrown around Timothy's

'Well, that's all very well,' began Merryweather, 'but neck, despite his weak protests. The other end of the there's the matter of - '

rope was tied around the foot of a heavy wardrobe.

'It's just that I've been having these dreams,' Tim Anand turned and ran for the door, but a couple of boys continued, oblivious, his voice a whisper that echoed grabbed him before he got there and sat on him, stuffing around the wooden comers of the dormitory. 'They a handkerchief into his mouth.

distract me. They're with me all day. I see you all die,

over and over again. You're screaming, Captain Hutchinson leapt up on to the bed, swinging the cloth Hutchinson, because you know that something's about excitedly around his head. 'Executioner, do your duty!'

to fall on you. Merryweather's only got one leg. Please...

does anybody else have dreams like that?'

Phipps supervised the frenzied dragging of Timothy to

the window-sill. The boys grabbed his arms, and aimed Hutchinson glanced at the other boys, a wide grin him like a battering ram for the gap between the window spreading over his face. 'I think we're made of different and sill. Chill winds blew in from the darkness outside. stuff to you, bug. You can't scare us.'

The rope swung from Timothy's neck, and he went limp,

giving up his struggles.

'I'm not trying to scare you. I'm just saying that I see it

all the time, and it distracts me. That's my defence.'

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Let them, the voice inside him said. Hang me, cut me Benny and Constance stood outside the little red-brick down, spread my blood on the field. End my life. I'll museum. Benny was busy throwing stones at one of the return.

windows above, not wanting to ring the little bell on the

front door.

'So you are a friend of Mr Shuttleworth,' Constance whispered. 'I know him by reputation. He has some associates who are very active in the Labour movement, and they've been supporting our cause. Oh, there he is!'

Alexander, clad in a bath-robe, had angrily pulled up the window and glared down at them. 'What the devil? Oh...'

He broke into a smile. 'Pardon my Greek. Be right down.'

They waited, crouched behind the hedge, for quite some time. Finally, Benny pulled out her watch and glanced at it. What's he doing in there?'

'He boasts, people say, of his several lady friends. Mr Shuttleworth seems to share Mr Wells' opinions on free love. What do you think?'

'Erm, I'm certainly opposed to paying for it. Should I feel

nervous about staying with him?'

With a great rush, the boys threw Timothy out of the

window. The rope unreeled after him, and then snapped

'Oh...' Constance seemed to consider for a few moments. taut.

'Well, I have never heard of him doing anything actually

improper.'

They piled to the window and gazed out. Far below,

Tim's body hung limp, swinging in the breeze, his arms From the other side of the hedge there came the sound dangling by his sides.

of tapping footsteps. Benny and Constance crouched

down further.

'He doesn't seem to have grabbed the noose...'

Merryweather whispered.

Of course, it was just at that moment that the door

opened and Alexander, now in smoking-jacket and

'No,' Hutchinson agreed, his face absolutely still. 'He trousers, stepped out on to his doorstep. To his credit, doesn't.' Then he yelled with sudden violence: 'Reel him he didn't even glance in the direction of the fugitives in in, for God's sake! Before somebody sees him!'

his garden, noting Bernice's anguished hand signals out

of the comer of his eye. Instead he smiled at the young

***

nurse who was standing in the road beside his gate, her

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

head turning this way and that as if sniffing the breeze. Smith leaned back in his chair, his arms behind his

'Good evening, nurse. Can I help you in any way?'

head. His writing was getting better. He hadn't wanted to

go to bed when he came home. He was so full of emotion The nurse turned and looked at him suspiciously. 'No, and energy. He felt reborn. He'd gone straight to his no, I was merely waiting for somebody. Perhaps you may desk and started to scribble page after page of his have seen her. A lady of around my age in a checked children's story. He was rather proud of it. skirt, perhaps in a state of some disarray.'

The Gallifreyans eventually made a wonderful world for

'Would she be...' his gaze flicked down into the garden, themselves, with towers and cities, lords and ladies. The

'muddy?'

inventor watched over them and advised them on how

best to make their world as civilized and law-abiding as

'Yes, that's her. She fled from the blaze at the hospital. the England that he'd left behind.

I've been sent after her.'

But as time went on, he became discontented with the

'Yes, I was wondering what the to-do was over there. Is place. The Gallifreyans had taken his ideas far too much everybody all right?'

to heart, and they'd become boring and stuck-in-the-mud.

He invented a way for them to start another life when

'Oh yes. A blanket caught fire, and it spread. The fire they died, and gave them another heart, hoping that this brigade quickly extinguished it. Now, I must hurry you. would make them joyful and happy. But they were just Where did you see the lady?'

as dull, and now they lived longer. Worse than that, they

no longer had children, so there was nobody noisy Benny sneezed.

around the place to ask questions.

Alexander sneezed. 'Still a chill in the air. Sorry. I saw Finally, he could take no more of it. He took one of the her pass this way about an hour ago. She went, erm, police boxes and headed back to Earth. The Gallifreyans that way...' He gestured vaguely down the road. 'She was would chase him, he knew, because he'd broken one of running.'

the laws that he'd invented.

'Thank you.' The nurse lifted her skirts and dashed off in But he'd decided that being free was better than being in the indicated direction.

charge.

Alexander glanced down into his garden. 'You can come There came a clatter from the window. He hopped up out now,' he called softly. 'A policeman I could and opened it, and was surprised to see an owl sitting understand, but how does one end up being chased by a on a low branch outside, regarding him with disdain. nurse?'

'Hello,' said Smith. 'And who are you?'

Benny patted his shoulder as he showed her in.

'Woo,' said the owl.

'Wouldn't you like to know?'

'How do you do, Mr Woo?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Who.'

It wrenched Smith's left hand up to face level and the

little schoolteacher caught a glimpse of glittering eyes

'Who? You, Woo.'

and white teeth under the brim of the hat.

The owl, looking as flustered as an owl can get, opened

'Pleased to meet you, human!' snarled Serif. Then he bit its wings wide and flapped up into the air. Smith the end off Smith's little finger.

flinched and the bird flew past him through the window, Benny and Constance sat in the little back bedroom of settling on the mantelpiece of the cottage with a Alexander's rooms above the museum. A heavy curtain proprietorial air.

hung over the small window. When Alexander had

popped out to make the tea, they'd heard footsteps going

'Oh no,' Smith sighed. 'You can't stay here. There's no downstairs. Unfortunately, the window was on the room. Why do you want to stay in a house, anyway?'

wrong side of the building to see who might be leaving.

The owl didn't say anything. It just closed its eyes and

'I'm getting positively used to hiding,' Constance sighed, turned its head away.

leaning her head on Benny's shoulder. 'I wish,

sometimes, that I could change the way I look, just Smith looked at it for a few moments, wondering if he magically transform into a bird, or a cat. Wouldn't that should try and lift it outside. The claws looked rather be wonderful, to change what you were just by thinking fierce for that. Finally, he just spread some newspaper about it? Wouldn't you like to do that?'

under the mantelpiece and left the owl to sleep.

'Not really.' Benny was wondering if this place had a He returned to his writing table, and was just about to bath. The mud was dropping off her and getting the pick up his pen again to edit what he'd written, when bedclothes dirty already. 'I just want to be me and do there came a knock at the door. 'Could you get that, that as well as I can.'

Merlin?' he asked the owl. No reply forthcoming, he went

and opened it.

'But you could get into any dress you liked or be a man

for a day and go out carousing.' She started to twirl the The door was slammed out of his grip.

ends of Benny's hair absent-mindedly. 'You could do

whatever you wanted. This sullied flesh could melt and Something dark launched itself through the gap and resolve itself into a dew.'

landed on his chest, pinning him to the floor.

'Silence!' it hissed.

Benny rubbed her brow, wondering why everything in

her life seemed to happen at exactly the wrong time. She Smith frantically reached for a poker that stood by the plucked Constance's hand from her hair and patted it fireplace, but the lithe dark figure snapped a hand out. comfortingly. 'That's a lovely idea, but it doesn't help me It caught Smith's fingers and wrapped them in its own at the moment. Right now, I need to find this object I'm gloved fist.

looking for.'

'Well, if you know who's got it, then in the morning you can just go and get it off them, can't you? I know all the 115

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

back ways and side roads. With my help, it won't be

hard at all.'

The dark man swirled in and out of Smith's vision, a

fluttering phantom above him.

'I suspect it may not be as simple as that, but, yes, I'll

meet you in the morning and you can give me some idea Pain was shouting distantly. Smith clutched his hand, of the territory.'

astonished at the new shape of it. That was the thing

about taking a wound, the unreasonable fact that a bit Alexander bustled back in with glee, handing them each of you had gone.

a mug of steaming tea. 'Goodness me!' he exclaimed.

'What excitement! Why was that nurse after you, do you Serif had chewed on the finger thoughtfully for a few think?'

seconds as Smith had screamed, and then swallowed it.

He put a hand to Smith's temple, and suddenly the little

'I have no idea.' Benny took a long swig from her mug. 'I schoolteacher found that he couldn't scream any more. don't know any nurses. Perhaps she's another one of Some part of him wanted to reach down the creature's this lot who are hunting me.'

throat and take the lost part of him back, but most of

his thoughts were consumed by a sickening, flattening,

'As you say. I mean, terrible for you, being pursued, but terror. He noticed, as his vision swirled randomly this is dreadfully exciting. Oh, I say, it's only just around the room, that the owl seemed to have gone. occurred to me. Bernice, you're wearing trousers!'

Perhaps he'd only dreamed it. Serif spent several

minutes just sitting on his chest, concentrating. Finally

'Many people have already noted that, Alexander. I don't he spoke.

suppose you've got a bath, have you?'

'I can taste who you think you are. Laylock did his work

'Oh yes,' said the effervescent curator. 'By sheer chance, well. You are full of nanites, and if I had eaten more of I, erm, already had the boiler on. Was going to have one you, they would start affecting me. This person you have myself, after my lady friend had left, but your need is made for yourself is quite fascinating. Shall we dig a greater.'

little deeper?'

'Wonderful.' Benny drained her mug in one lengthy gulp. The gloved hand again touched Smith's scalp.

'Now, Constance, will you be all right getting to your own

lodgings?'

***

'Of course.' The young woman finished her tea and stood He and Serif were standing on a shale beach beside a up. 'I shall see you here at eleven, and then we shall cold sea at night, watching the beam of a lighthouse reverse the roles we have so far played. Your persecutors cycle round and round in the mist. 'This is the home shall be the prey, and we the hunters.'

that you fled?' Serif asked.

'You know,' said Benny, 'when you say things like that,

'Aberdeen, yes.' Smith took a deep breath of sea air and you almost make me feel confident.'

looked at his hand. It was whole again. 'Who are you?

What do you want with me?'

***

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'You don't know where the Pod is. I wonder if it has been Smith opened his mouth, and suddenly found himself destroyed. Laylock is sometimes very fallible, and on convulsing. He fell to the ground, his hands grasping occasion... untrustworthy. If the Pod has failed, we may frantically at the pebbles. It was as if something huge at least discover some important information about you. had given way inside him. 'No! No!' he shrieked. 'Can't I know they have a lighthouse on a place called tell!'

Gallifrey,' Serif murmured. 'Tell me, does Aberdeen have

defences?'

He reached out a hand piteously as the woman on the

shore turned and walked away. 'Verity!'

'A sea wall, that's all. To stop the flooding. There's no

soldiers here. Nothing special about the town at all,

***

except for the rock - '

Smith found himself back on his own living-room floor

'Ah yes, the radioactive granite, so conducive to again, paralysed. The pain flooded back into his finger. mutation.'

He struggled to breathe, and managed to gasp regular,

shallow gulps of air as Serif got up and wandered over to

'No, the rock with "Greetings From Aberdeen" written his bureau. 'You've been writing fiction,' the dark man through it. Very tasty.' Smith glanced up at the whispered, picking up a page from Smith's story and headland above the beach. 'Oh my God! Verity!'

glancing at it. 'In fiction, we reveal our deepest

unconscious thoughts. Would it be of any use to me to Serif followed his gaze. A young woman with a moonread this? You may speak.'

like, innocent face was staring down at them from the

shore.

'Unconscious?' Smith gasped. 'How can thoughts not be

conscious?'

'Ah, so there is beauty in truth. Who is she?'

'Hah! What a primitive world this is you've found for

'A girl. We used to be together. Now we're not.'

yourself. Why, these humans must think of themselves

so simply, as straightforward animals who think and do,

'What does she mean to you?'

decide and set about. Well, I know better, and so should

'She's what I'm always just missing. We met here once. you, as that deep-set defence mechanism I just We were very different, from opposite sides of town.'

uncovered indicates.' He squatted back down beside the

prone teacher. 'My name is Serif. Unlike my fellows, I

'Are some of the citizens of Aberdeen better off than have specialized in matters of the mind as well as the others, then?'

body. I've often had cause to unpick the programming of

a personality, rewrite certain aspects. I do this by

'You could say that. There's a poor house, run by the regressing the subject right back to the moment of birth Church. That's where I was brought up.'

and then working forwards. In your case, of course,

that's not really appropriate. However, we can make

'Really? What was the name of your teacher? What did some progress. In doing so, we may learn all sorts of he tell you of the sea wall?'

incidental things about dear, ripe Gallifrey along the

way. Do you think that's how we should proceed?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Smith snarled a response. A vast roaring of blood filled flowing into the loom for days. Now something was due his ears and the pain from his finger was terrible, as if to emerge.

some healing machine was trying to start its work and

failing. That failure was filling his senses with agony, The woman walked forward and touched the chords. and he couldn't decipher what on earth his assailant Something shaped itself into her arms. A male child. was saying.

'Again?' said the child.

'It was a rhetorical question,' Serif told him, and placed

his hand back on Smith's head.

'Again?' said Serif.

***

There was a crash, a thump and the orange sky became

plaster-white again.

Smith stared at the woman whose head lay on his

shoulder, her straight, backcombed hair warmly A woman was looking down at Smith, the remains of a touching his skin.

heavy vase in her hands. Serif was lying on the carpet,

his hand an inch from Smith's head, a surprised look on They were both dressed in togas, lying on a lounger in his unconscious face.

the courtyard of a villa. The only sound was the gentle

trickle of a fountain.

'Have you seen an owl?' Smith asked the woman.

'There,' the woman said. 'That wasn't so bad, was it?'

'Yes,' said Joan. 'How did you know?'

Smith was about to reply, but then he was staggering

back from a door, dropping his briefcase and clutching Smith was barely aware of Joan leaving again to run up his nose, shouting all manner of colourful swear-words. the driveway to the school. She left Serif, who showed no

>

sign of waking up, roughly bound by a sheet. She woke

'It's one of these new automatic jobs,' a voice said. 'Still Mr Moffat the bursar up, and demanded to use the some teething troubles, what?'

school telephone, shouting at the night operator that But hadn't his brother told him about that? Funny how this was an emergency, a burglar had been caught and close to you some stories got, as if they were memories. the police must be summoned.

He was waltzing with a woman in a flowery dress, A Black Maria stopped outside the cottage and Sergeant pleased at how her movements matched his. Around Abelard, an old man with a white Kitchener moustache, him men in uniform were all dancing with their helped his two constables to lift the still unconscious partners. 'Perhaps we could go on somewhere?' he Serif into the back of the van.

asked.

'An anarchist, by the look of him,' said the sergeant. Under an orange sky, a group of dark figures stood

'One of these Russian fellows like as did Sidney Street. around a singing structure, a million fine chords sighing Perhaps it was him set off the poison gas in the in the wind. Information was flowing down the chords, hospital.'

being woven together in the mesh they were forming

between them. Spirals of microscopic data had been

'Poison gas?' exclaimed Joan.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

with a note about seeing you tomorrow. When I got here,

'Sorry, madam, I didn't mean to alarm you. It's all dealt the door was open and you know the rest.'

with now, the papers will be full of it tomorrow.'

'Do I?' Smith smiled gently. 'I'm very confused. I seem to

'What happened?' asked Smith. He was wrapped in a have been dreaming, but I don't quite know where the rug, a cup of tea in his right hand, his left little finger dream ended and waking up began.' They talked for an bandaged up by Joan. She'd winced as he did as she'd hour or so more, and gradually Smith began to feel bathed the end of it in alcohol.

stronger, the fear of his attack draining from him and

reality reasserting itself.

'Somebody set off what we think must have been a gas

bomb in St Catherine's. We wired Whitehall and they

'Do you want me to stay?' Joan asked. 'I am capable of said to have the fire brigade hose the place down. sleeping on a chair.'

They've been at it all day. Some of those lads got a look

inside the place, and what they describe... well, sir, I Smith bit his lip and a slow grin chased the chill from wouldn't like to repeat it in the company of a lady. his face. 'No,' he decided finally. 'You get home to bed.'

There's a convoy on the way from Clapperton. We'll hand

the matter over to the army boys when they arrive. Bit of

'All right,' said Joan. She got up and quickly kissed him. a feather in my cap to have apprehended somebody,

'Bolt the door behind me.'

though. What did he want here, do you think?'

'Will I see you tomorrow?'

Smith stared at him. 'He must have been a burglar. He

cut off my finger. Perhaps he was looking... for a ring?

'That was the plan, but since you are now injured - '

No, I don't wear a ring. He knocked me out. And there

was something about an owl...'

'I can't think of a better cure than looking at you. What'll

we do?'

The policeman flipped his notebook closed. 'I don't think

he'll be much help to us tonight, madam. It's

'I shall make a picnic. We'll go along to the police station understandable. Could I ask you both to call at the and then find some quiet spot to eat it, hopefully out of police station tomorrow morning?'

the range of poison gas.' She stopped on the way to the

door. 'Oh my goodness, how will we know if our spot is Smith and Joan agreed, and thanked the police. The van safe?'

drove away and Joan pulled up a chair to sit beside

Smith, who was still staring vacantly into space.

'Anywhere that birds still sing,' said Smith, 'one can

have a picnic safely.'

'It is odd that you should mention an owl,' she said. 'I was about to go to bed, when I was disturbed by a great

clattering at the window. I looked out, but only saw an owl flying away. I glanced down and there were your white gloves. You had left them behind on the sideboard. I had an odd fancy to return them to you. Nothing bold, I was merely going to post them through your letter box, 123

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'No,' Bernice admitted. 'I'm not. Do you want the vague, generalized, believable version, or the absolutely ridiculous specific one?'

'Oh, the latter, definitely. I've been following the affairs of

Constance and her like long enough to know that, once embarked upon, rebellion is a positive opiate. I mean that in two ways. Firstly, it's addictive. Secondly, it

opens up whole worlds full of new dreams. Do tell me yours.'

Ch

C apter rSi

S x

'Right.' And, without sparing a detail, Bernice told the whole story of her life and adventures with the Doctor, A Deal with God

right up to the present. Alexander's eyes grew wider, and his whisky consumption grew faster, every moment.

'And so, here I am,' she concluded, with a big smile. 'Do you know, I've always wanted to tell somebody all that. I'm sure I'm breaking some sort of rule. What do you Alexander knocked on the door of the bathroom. think?'

'Bernice, have you drowned?'

'This knight of yours - '

There came a satisfyingly loud splash from inside and

then a tired mutter: 'Fell asleep. What time is it?'

'No, no, I mean, do you believe me?'

'Nearly midnight. I've made up the back bedroom for

'Do you really want me to?'

you. Would you care for a cup of cocoa or perhaps some

Scotch?'

Bernice finished off the last glass and reached for

another bottle with a swift wipe of her lips on the back of

'A double, thanks. I'll be out in a minute.' When she her hand. 'Yes. Rather terribly, actually.'

came out, white, soggy and wrapped in a rather good

silk kimono that Alexander had given her, he was

'Well, what proof can you offer me? What happens in the waiting in the parlour with two glasses and a bottle. next ten years?'

She poured and they clinked glasses. 'So, may I ask as Bernice shook her head. She'd anticipated the question. to the nature of your current troubles?' Alexander

'I don't think I ought to talk about that. Tell you what, began, rolling the whisky around his mouth. 'You're wait a minute.' She hopped up and rummaged around in proving to be a most exciting tenant. You are not, I take her pack. She returned carrying her portable history it, actually down from college?'

unit and handed it to Alexander.

'There.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

He stared at it then punched a few buttons. 'Now how Benny laughed. 'No. He doesn't really do that sort of does this work? There's a roller behind this little frame, thing. He surrounds himself with female company, mind operated by clockwork, and the words on it appear...' He you, quite innocently.'

fell silent. After a moment, he gently put the unit down

on the table, and stared at it.

'And male company?'

Then he started to laugh. The laugh grew bigger and

'Occasionally. Equally innocently.'

bigger. He leapt up and swung Bernice around the room

in a happy arc. 'It's true! It's true! You're from the

'Well, perhaps he wants to fall in love.'

future!'

'He couldn't have thought of that when he did it,' Benny

'Yes, yes...' Bernice found that she was laughing too. protested uncertainly. 'But you might be right.'

'Now put me down. We still have dizziness in the future.'

'Oh, I usually am,' muttered Alexander. 'God, I'm in

'Oh dear...' They slumped into armchairs. 'So, these danger of keeping you up all night. Listen, tomorrow the people who are after you - are they from the future too?'

three of us, you, me and Constance, will go and find this

Pod thing, all right?'

'Yes. Or at least, I think so. I think they've taken the

object, the Pod, which could make my friend himself

'Does Constance have a young man?'

again.'

'Well, my chum Richard says so. Not him, but I think

'Well, we must try and get it back. I could raise quite a there are a few in the Labour group who worship her.'

good gang, if I tried.'

'Oh. Odd.'

'No, you mustn't do that. These people have weapons

which could level this place. We need to sneak up on

'Hmm?'

them.'

'Nothing.' Benny got up and stretched. 'I'll see you in the

'Understood.' Alexander crunched up his face with joy, morning. I gather that I should put a chair up against hanging on to his chair like a boy on a roundabout. 'This my door.'

is fascinating! What a strange predicament your friend's

got into. Why do you think he wanted to be human?'

'Dear girl, why should you?'

'I'm not sure. I think he wanted a change, to have a

'Constance said that you believed in free love.'

holiday from being him.'

'Not with those in distress, loved one! Or those in

'Maybe there were things that he could only do if he was mourning.'

human. You describe him as a friend. Are you and he

husband and wife?'

'Yes...' said Benny. 'Good night.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

After she"d gone, Alexander reached for the history unit

again, turning it over and over in his hands. 'My God,'

Somewhere outside of time, in the white void. 'Who are he whispered, 'I'm glad I lived to see this.'

you?' Timothy asked Death.

A little circle of boys had gathered around Timothy's Death glared at him. 'I'm the sister of Time and Pain and bed, staring down at the body.

several more. We're the dreams of Time Lords. We leak

out across the universe, and occasionally somebody like They'd tucked him in and told the Prep master that he the Timewyrm gives us form. Certain Time Lords, in was feeling ill. Then they'd turned off his bedside lamp their nightmares, or in states like you're in, make sordid and prepared the cold body for bed, folding him into his little deals with us. We might even take them on as our pyjamas like they were dressing a flaccid, awkward Champions. We make them pay a price.'

mannequin.

'Does that mean I'm dead?'

Anand had been locked in a chest and declared ill also.

Phipps stared at Hutchinson's stoic features. 'We can't

'Don't ask that too loudly. I'm waiting here for some-go on with this, Captain,' he said. 'They'll want him for body particular. I don't have to deal with you. Do you OTC tomorrow. They'll come and see him.'

know what a respiratory by-pass system is?'

'Died in his sleep?' suggested Merryweather. 'They'll see

'No.'

the rope marks on his neck, for Christ's sake! And what

about the darkie?'

'That's all right then. You've just got one.'

'You could kill him too,' murmured Alton, seemingly

***

amused by the whole business.

Tim woke up and reached for his neck. He pulled the Hutchinson glanced up from the body, as if woken from collar of his pyjamas aside and found the red marks a dream. 'I don't know what you're all talking about,' he where the rope had bitten him.

said. 'He'll be fine in the morning.'

'I'm alive!' he gasped. Then the gasp became a shout.

'Hutchinson,' Merryweather hissed, 'he's dead!'

'I'm alive!'

'He's not dead,' Hutchinson fixed the younger boy with a Phipps was the first one to wake, smothering a scream glare, 'until I say so. Any objections?'

with his bedclothes when he saw Timothy sitting up in

bed.

Phipps put a hand to his mouth. He'd been looking ill all

evening. 'No, Captain,' he mumbled.

The others ignited their bedside lamps, and, seeing the

miracle that had occurred, ran to surround the boy The others replied the same, one by one. again. 'But you were dead!' Merryweather cried. 'You'd

stopped breathing, there was no pulse!'

'Good,' said Hutchinson. 'That's decided. I suggest we all

retire.'

'I died,' Timothy told him. 'And then I came back.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Serif finally came to a bitter conclusion. He concentrated Hutchinson pushed his way through the crowd and for a moment, then pulled off one of his gloves. glared at Timothy. Timothy met his gaze evenly.

He put the revealed chalk-white hand up to the window After a moment, the Captain turned away. 'As I said,' he and concentrated again. It took an hour, but, finally, murmured. 'A lot of fuss about nothing. Don't forget it's Serif was convinced that he'd released the correct OTC tomorrow, Dean. Make a man of you.'

molecular messages into the air. Directing them would

take longer still.

The others hesitantly followed Hutchinson's example

and returned to their beds, many of them still staring at He just hoped that Greeneye wouldn't smirk about it. Timothy as they did so.

Sergeant Abelard carefully closed the partition and After the lights had all been extinguished again, Tim wandered back behind the desk of the small police flexed his fingers experimentally, staring at his young station.

hands. 'Too late...' he whispered.

'You've been back and forth to that door all night, Sarge,'

***

said Constable Bickerston. 'And you've been on the go

all day. Shouldn't you be getting home?'

Serif opened his eyes. 'I don't believe it!' he whispered.

He was in a tiny, white-brick cell, with a solid metal

'No, Alfie, I'm not a happy halibut. Army lads'll be door. One small barred window looked out on the through here any time now. I want to know what's going darkness. The only light was that which washed under on. We might be at war tomorrow.'

the door. On the floor in front of him sat a tray with

some bread and cheese on it.

'War?' Bickerston looked up from his newspaper. 'What,

you reckon it was the Germans did that to the hospital He jumped to his feet and hammered on the door. After today?'

a few minutes, a tiny slat at eye-level slid open. 'Oi,' said

a voice. 'Be qui-et. Silencio. Get my meaning? You'll

'Germans, perhaps. Austrians or Russians, more likely. wake the other prisoners.'

You didn't see what that gas did, Alfie. Most of the

patients and staff in one of the wards just vanished,

'You - ' Serif rammed his hand at the little gap, but the melted like they were made of chocolate on a hot day. slat slammed shut again before he could touch whoever But it was the ones at the edges that had the worst of it. was outside.

There were bits and pieces of them everywhere. I've

persuaded Geoffrey down at the newspaper not to It was inconceivable, but somehow the ex-Time Lord had mention it tomorrow, not until we can find all the outsmarted him. He turned back to the interior of the relatives. But there'll be no holding him if the news gets cell and paced up and down, considering his options. He out to London. What with that, that business at the pub didn't carry any of the extravagant weaponry that the and our anarchist down in the cells...'

others favoured. If they'd only given him some meat...

'You reckon they're all connected?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Well, I'll be damned if it's a coincidence, a gas bomb, a round the bend. 'What was it that you did, then, violent robbery and an assault on the same day. That, exactly?'

what, triples the crime rate for April in one go? No, I

think we've got our man, but it'll be down to the Army The nurse let go of her balloon, which floated up to the how they treat him. I hope they - oh, hello, miss, what ceiling, and unbuttoned her cuff. She showed Abelard can we... do for you?'

her wrist. 'Watch! Nothing up my sleeve, just like a real

magician. And now... ta-dah!'

A nurse had wandered into the police station, carrying a

red balloon. Abelard and the constable exchanged The inside of her wrist split open like a piece of meat on glances.

a butcher's rack. There was no blood, just a black

capsule that plopped neatly out into her hand. The wrist

'Excuse me, officers,' the nurse began, 'but I was swept shut again.

wondering if you might have chanced upon a friend of

mine. He's a tall, rather sinister gentleman, in a large Abelard stepped back, astonished. 'How - '

hat.'

'Now, here's the clever part...' The nurse began to

'Are you a relative, miss?' asked Abelard. unscrew the cap on the capsule.

'Why, yes, I'm his daughter.'

'Sarge!' shouted Bickerston. 'That's the gas, it must be!

Stop her!'

'Come now, miss, you can't expect us to swallow that.'

Abelard dived forward and wrenched the black capsule The nurse laughed and her voice changed. 'You said out of the nurse's grip. He stared at it for a moment. She something funny. I'm tired of talking in that stupid way, glared at him, her hands on her hips. 'Oh!'

so I'm going to talk like me now, all right?'

'For goodness' sake, hurry up, can't you, Aphasia?'

'That's absolutely fine, miss. Would you care to sit down August wandered in and shot Abelard through the head. for a while? Perhaps we could have a little chat.' Abelard

opened the partition and showed the nurse towards the As the body slid down the wall, he turned his gun row of chairs that ran along the edge of the room. 'Now, towards Bickerston, but the constable had already dived were you in the hospital this afternoon when... when under the counter, grabbing the telephone as he went. something awful happened?'

'Balloon,' Aphasia sighed, recovering her gas capsule

from the bloody wreck on the wall. 'Behind the desk.'

'Yes!' The nurse hopped up and down, smiling at him. 'I

was because I did it!'

The balloon swept down from the ceiling and dropped

below desk level, from where the sounds of frantic

'Did you really, miss?' Abelard reached for his notedialling issued. book, suddenly wondering if he ought to put in a call to

the constables from Berridge, who were still helping to

'Hoff's back at the dome,' August told Aphasia. 'Have you clear up at the hospital. No, this girl was obviously seen Greeneye?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'No, but I got a message from him.' The dialling had

'Don't be so melodramatic,' Serif grumbled, opening the stopped, the receiver slammed back down again, and dome.

now the sound was a violent thrashing and muffled

shouting. 'Did he say where he was?'

'Look who's talking.' Hoff smiled at August as he and

Aphasia arrived. 'Should have left him there. Any

'No, but he said he had a new plan.' The sounds from problems?'

behind the desk grew quiet, and then stopped. The

balloon floated back to Aphasia's grasp.

'No, except that I answered a communications link to an

approaching military convoy. Quite wisely, they've come

'That's all we need,' August sighed. 'If it's anything like to the conclusion that events at the hospital were the last one, we'll all get injured this time.'

somewhat extraordinary and are on their way to

investigate.'

The telephone behind the desk began to ring. 'Go and

get Serif, would you please?' August asked. 'Oh, and kill Hoff shrugged. 'Could nuke them. One mini-missile anybody else you find.'

would do it.'

As Aphasia ran through into the interior, he opened up

'Yes,' August tapped his chin, 'but that would quickly the partition and squatted down. He nudged the body of bring the whole country down on us. At the moment, the constable aside and plucked the receiver from his we're free to search for the Pod, but things would really fingers.

slow down if this becomes a battle zone. That, and

Greeneye's fears could come true. The Time Lords might

'Hello? Yes. Yes, Major, I see. Very good. All right. See notice a major conflict. No, I think we should just seal you then.' He replaced the receiver just as a ragged the place off. What have you got?'

alcoholic scream came from one of the cells.

'Heat barrier?'

Serif stalked out into the duty area, Aphasia skipping

behind him merrily. He glanced at the carnage against

'Bit showy.'

the wall. 'What took you so long?' he mumbled, and

carried straight on out of the doorway.

'Fear barrier?'

August smiled at Aphasia. 'He could at least have said

'We want to minimize panic and confusion, not create it.'

thank you.'

'Time barrier, then. Wall of temporal displacement. Two They marched up into the forest to the dome, Serif layers, each with time on one side a second earlier than keeping his distance ahead of August and Aphasia. on the other. You can walk through one from either side,

but not through both. Anybody short of a Time Lord who Hoff was looking up at the moon, idly picking twigs off tries to go through, it's like they're walking through a the trees and eating them. He spun round as Serif wall. If they keep trying, all sorts of bizarre effects start stamped into the clearing, levelling his gun at the dark happening, many of them fatal.'

figure.

'Good.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Those that were awake to see the dome's sparkling

'Glad you escaped the hospital.' Hoff patted Aphasia on progress, at the farms and dairies and post offices, the back, and the nurse's body went flying, landing on thought that it was the aurora and smiled at it. It the humus a few feet away like a thrown paper dart. Hoff completed its arc, sparkled again for a moment, and laughed. 'Sorry. Should have realized that body wouldn't vanished.

be very dense.'

The town was cut off from the world.

'Well, I'm getting rid of the ugly thing!' Aphasia yelled.

She leapt to her feet and ran into the dome. The first person to notice was Mr Hodges, whose horses

suddenly stopped and whinnied in the middle of the

'Invaluable as always, Hoff,' said August, following her. road in the darkness before dawn. He got down from the

'Oh, and could you check the security systems on the cart and quietened them, and told them that they had to dome? This search of ours is going on far too long.'

get to town for market, give the stallholders time to

unload the produce. But they wouldn't go any further.

'Perhaps Greeneye's found something.' August sighed.

'Perhaps cats will fly.'

Hodges took his cap off and scratched his head. It was -

like there was something in the road that was scaring

***

them. He knew that sometimes even the smallest animal

in its path would cause a horse to startle. He took his So it was that in the early hours of the morning, a thin walking stick from the seat and walked forward, linear ripple appeared in the air on the other side of the knocking it along the ground to scare off anything that hill, an impossible shifting of reality that gave off an was lurking in the bushes. A fox maybe, or one of Mrs atomic twinkle. It arced right over the town like a Deel's dratted dogs. In the back of his mind was the rainbow, and then fanned out, expanding in a circle to thought that perhaps it was the man who'd attacked form a dome.

that saucy young thing Bernice. But Hodges was a

practical man, and he didn't get scared by unseen things Then another layer swept out in the same way, following in hedgerows.

it exactly.

The stick hit something with a resounding chime. The walls of it swept round the outskirts of the town, Hodges stepped back, and swung it again, struggling to slicing straight through trees and foliage, creating marks comprehend the idea that... there was a big sheet of in wood that would still be visible decades later. glass here? He reached out a hand and touched it,

unable to see anything. His fingertips passed through A flock of pigeons were caught by it, and one of them something, a light chill, and then encountered a smooth spiralled to earth, its wing spinning off on the other side surface.

of the airknife.

He leapt back. A memory had heaved itself into his, An owl, hovering over a meadow in wait for prey, sensed mind: his Kitty, dead for ten years now, holding up little the thing coming, and ceremoniously flapped townAlbert for him to see. Everything had been clear, like a wards to escape it.

waking dream, but it was fading now... He looked round,

horrified, expecting to see St Peter or someone in the 137

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

dark roadway, but all that there was, was the He pulled out the big metal tub from the cupboard and approaching dawn and the distant cry of lambs. filled it with jugs of hot water in the lounge, picking up

the local newspaper from the doormat on his way into Shaking, Hodges reached out for the barrier again. the kitchen. There was no word about the hospital at all.

They must have gone to press before it happened.

***

Odd. He clenched his teeth and glared at the absence. It Morning. Dr Smith woke at the sunshine through his was as if gears inside him were trying to engage but curtains and winced at the pain in his finger. missing their wheels, an inch up the hill and then

always a jerk back. This must be what Sherlock Holmes He got dressed and wandered into the washroom. The felt like when he was thinking about a problem... Good, events of the night before seemed like a nightmare. If actually, if Conan Doyle would write a couple more he'd had a whole little finger on his left hand, he'd have stories now, he could ask The Strand whatever fee he written them off as that. What sort of burglar bites the liked. Or perhaps this was just the common feeling of end of your finger? He'd ask Joan to check the bandages people now, that they were bloody missing something. today. Probably a good sign that it was still hurting. He

stared at his face in the mirror then felt the stubble on A finger, actually. That was the whole of it; he was still a his chin. Holding his damaged hand awkwardly away bit shocked and the emptiness inside was a measure of from the sink, he managed to wedge the pot of shaving that. A man in love shouldn't be blue. foam in a comer under the mirror and worked up a

useful amount of foam one-handed. He wasn't going to A man in - God, enough time for foolishness later. see Joan with a rough chin.

Bath'd be good for shock.

Oh, and he'd told bloody Rocastle that he was going to He threw the paper across the room and dropped his go to his OTC meeting today. Well, he could just manage dressing-gown over the back of a chair. Gingerly, he without him. It wasn't in his contract to work on stepped into the hot water and, settling into it, sighed. Saturdays. He shaved, being even more careful than

usual with the big cut-throat razor. He remembered his He watched the ripples of his arrival flow from his body first real shave as a boy, the barber on Espedair Street to the sides of the metal bath, then bounce back again. who smelt of tobacco, and kept talking about running

away to sea, for some reason. His skin had felt Yes, this mood was probably something biological, a wonderful afterwards, but very hot and red, and he'd funk caused by losing one's finger and all the fingery woken up the next day with a face covered in acne. That functions associated with it.

always happened, his dad had told him. The girls would

understand. Well, the Duchess - Verity - had, at any

'Oh well,' he sighed. 'It could have been worse.'

rate.

The dark mood stayed with him as he walked into town, He splashed some water on his face, wiping the foam despite the fresh sunlight of the Saturday morning. The away one-handed.

market was setting up its stalls, and the Romany Punch

and Judy man had parked his cart beside the oak on the green. The ice-cream boy with the cool cabinet on the 139

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

front of his bicycle pedalled by, crying his wares. Smith pies. He was the only customer at the moment, the midstopped at the edge of the market square and folded his day rush not having started yet, so he could afford to arms around himself, looking at all the people. take his time.

He could barely remember most of the rubbish that his

'Not having your usual then, Dr Smith?'

attacker had come out with. None of it had really made

sense, but it had still felt as if the madman was talking

'No. l wanted something... Oh, I don't know, Fiona.' He directly to him, as if there was some other essential looked up at her appealingly. 'I keep wondering... I John Smith that one might talk to and yet which John wonder why I wonder why. I wonder why I wonder. I himself wasn't aware of.

wonder why I wonder why I wonder why I wonder... '

He shook his head. Nonsense. He should stop reading Fiona looked from left to right, went to the door and lurid books and join in with the boys' sport a bit more. glanced outside, then went back to Smith and hugged Exercise was the solution, and it might help his aching him carefully like you'd hug a teddy bear. hand, too.

Smith hugged her back, rather abashed, for a moment. There was a bakery, Caldwell's, on the other side of the Then Fiona brushed down her pinafore and went back town square. Smith made his way to it, keeping his left behind the counter.

hand carefully up against his chest and shaking his

head at the barkers for the various stalls as they tried to

'Do you feel better now?' she asked. 'Yes,' he muttered, sell him fish or vegetables or ice. A lot of the stalls amazed. 'And do you know now?'

seemed very empty this morning, and one or two of the

owners were sitting behind empty displays, glancing

'Yes,' Smith grinned. 'Could I have a muffin, please?'

impatiently at the road that led out of the square. Munching his muffin, and feeling a little better, Smith

headed for the police station. On his way, he passed the A wonderful smell of newly baked bread always gate of the little churchyard of St Anthony's, then permeated from Caldwell's, and that was what brought paused. He glanced at his watch. He had time. Smith there every morning before work, in search of his

regular steak and kidney pie.

The inside of the church had that polished smell and the

light scent of new flowers on top of it. No vicar about. Well, that and Fiona. Fiona was a small, red-haired girl Smith walked to the altar and looked up at the ribs of who always seemed to be smiling. She was second-in-the roof that met overhead. His parents had been command at the bakery, beneath the beaming Mr Presbyterians, very strict and conventional, and thus Caldwell, who, when he saw Smith, would always warble he'd grown up without religion.

something in a thick Arbroath accent that Smith

affected to understand. Fiona and Smith said three Sometimes, it would be nice to have some. sentences to each other every day; they were always

good sentences.

So he tried. 'God?' he asked the root. Something in him

expected an answer. 'What is it inside me that hurts so?'

Today, she stood patiently waiting as Smith hovered by

the pastry counter, his finger moving to and fro over the 141

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Can I help?' asked a voice from the vestry. A kind

looking vicar was smiling at Smith, extending his hands,

'I think that's right...' Smith pondered. 'Why do you want welcomingly.

a description? Can't you see for yourself?'

Smith glanced ruefully back at the ceiling. 'No,' he The policeman flipped his notebook closed. 'I'm sorry, muttered. 'I was just a little lost.'

sir, I'm not at liberty to say any more. The station will be

fully staffed again by midweek, and if you could return He doffed his cap to the priest and left. then, I'm sure they'll want to go into the more general

matter of the break-in. Good day to you.'

***

As they walked away, Joan frowned at Smith. 'He's So, what was left was Joan.

escaped. That's what's happened, isn't it? He must have

hurt some policeman doing it.'

He turned the comer beside the police station, hoping to

see her there immediately, but instead there was a

'Oh? Oh no!' Smith turned round urgently. 'But what if cluster of police vans, and an ambulance crew carrying he - '

stretchers out of the place.

Joan took his arm reassuringly. 'Don't worry. Why Smith stayed where he was, watching. He should go should he come back? You said yourself that he was a forward

and

declare

himself,

say

he

had

an

burglar. That sort never visit the same place twice. And appointment, ask if there'd been an accident. But he if he was one of these Balkan anarchists, he must have didn't want to get involved.

picked you quite at random. You've got no connection

with middle Europe, have you?'

'Got you!' Joan said, tapping him on the shoulder. 'How

is your finger?' She was carrying a picnic hamper.

'No.' Smith still glanced over his shoulder at the

ambulance. 'But why are they keeping it a secret? They Smith took one of the handles, resisting the impulse to didn't say anything about the hospital in the paper, embrace her. 'Getting better.' He nodded towards the either. It's as if something terrible’s happening. They police station. 'I think we've come at a bad time. Shall won't tell us about it.' He squirmed electrically, wringing we go?'

the air with his hands. 'I feel like I should do something.'

'Well, no, we cannot. Not really.' Joan frowned at the

'I'm sure they've got it all in hand. If you can do confusion before them. 'Come on, let's explain ourselves anything, they'll ask you. Now come on, I know the and get it over with.' She led Smith towards the perfect spot for a picnic. Or don't you want to have a policeman with the most insignia. 'Excuse me. We were picnic with me in a quiet little meadow?' She raised a due here this morning to give evidence.'

flirtatious eyebrow.

The policeman took their details, and was suddenly Smith patted her arm. 'That's one thing I'm still certain interested when Smith revealed his identity. He took a about.'

full description of his assailant and went over certain

aspects of it with him.

***

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Why have only one song?' Smith whispered. 'We can

'I am rather glad you lost your finger, as a matter of have them all. Do you remember how to be kissed?'

fact,' Joan told Smith as they negotiated the hamper

over the stile. 'I became so uncertain last night, that's

'Yes,' she said, and turned, pulling Smith to her, why I wanted to drop a note off with your gloves. delighting in the feel of his hand in the small of her back Suddenly having to look after you made it all so much and the complete contact of their bodies and strengths. easier.'

Their mouths met and played with each other for a long

time.

'You did more than look after me. You rescued me.'

Finally, she let go, laughing. 'I think I've picked up

'I suppose I did. Do you mind? I'm sure you'd have won several verses now, as well as the chorus!'

the contest eventually.'

'You're blushing.'

'Mind?' Smith helped her down into a meadow filled with

dandelions, an old oak tree at its centre. The white seeds

'Am I?' Joan went back to the hamper and gamely of the flowers scampered over the grass in the gentle picked it up, smiling all over her face. 'Jolly good.'

breeze, and small birds chirped as they swung to and fro

in the sky, snatching for the first bees to wake in the

***

approaching summer. 'I owe my life to you. How could

anyone mind that?'

Bernice woke up refreshed and quickly got dressed,

ready for the morning's expedition. She wandered out

'I'm glad you see it that way. I just could not stand to into the little kitchen of the apartment area, wondering if see you being beaten.' She turned aside, leaving the Alexander was awake yet, and was surprised to see him hamper on the stile for a moment. 'The truth is that I'm at the kitchen table, snoring loudly over it. It looked as if feeling rather overwhelmed, John. To have a sweetheart he hadn't gone to bed. An empty whisky bottle sat on the again. It's been a long time. I think I have forgotten some table, beside the portable history unit. of the words.'

'Been there, done that...' Benny murmured, plucking the

'Then close your eyes.' He went to her, and put a hand unit up from the table.

on each of her shoulders. 'And listen.' He did likewise.

They stayed like that for a while, listening to the sounds of the birds and the distant calling of animals, and feeling the sun on their faces. Joan held his hand on her shoulder.

'Do you remember now?' he finally asked. 'They're singing this for you.'

'Is this our song, then? The call of birds?'

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'I'm marooned, Alex. I'm virtually helpless. If the Doctor was himself...' Benny stopped, stood up and went to the window. She looked for a moment at all the ordinary things outside, and remembered a dream she'd had that night about mud and armed men. 'No. No, I don't think he'd do anything either.'

Alexander stood up. 'The only reason for this war is so that modern capitalism can destroy the great empires. It's just a great shedding of men who would otherwise need jobs! Isn't anybody going to see that? Isn't anybody going to say that killing half the world over Serbia is insane?'

'No.' Benny squared her jaw at him, finding herself defending history as if her pet dog had savaged a sheep.

'They all dive in like it's a great relief to them.'

'What if I went to Sarajevo? Shot the man who kills the She froze when she saw what was on the screen. Archduke?'

The Somme: Casualty Lists, Located and Missing.

'Somebody had a go a few streets earlier. Somebody else

would be around the next comer. Besides, it isn't really One name was blinking away on the list beside a map down to him, is it? As you say, the industrial world is reference, a regiment and an identification number. waiting for this war. A way would be found. I'm just

sorry you had to find out about it.'

Richard Hadleman, Cptn Dd, psn gas.

Alexander sat down slowly. 'We could push for a

'Oh my God, Alexander... What have you done?' Benny revolution now, declare a workers' state. I always sat down and deactivated the unit. She reached across thought it could be real now, that it could be done. But to Alexander and gently shook him, waking him up. there's no time. Damn it, if only you'd told me earlier! I

have to get a telegraph, there's only a few weeks before it He grunted, and then stared at her for a moment, all starts, have to...' He found that he was staring at his bleary-eyed. 'How dare you?' he asked, gently and hands, and suddenly burst into great sobs. 'Poison gas?

rhetorically. 'How dare you allow me to know?'

How can they contemplate poison gas?'

'I didn't even think about it. I'm so sorry.'

Benny went to him and held him. 'I'm so sorry. What

have 1 done to you?'

'This war. Can't you do something to stop it?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Did it to myself, loved one,' he said, quietening after a Constance strode merrily into the room, wearing green while. 'God, what do I say to Richard when I next see velvet pantaloons. 'Put on my bloomers,' she explained. him?'

'And how are you both this morning?'

'There's nothing you can say. I don't want to raise false Benny glanced at Alexander's deathlike face as he hopes, but it may not happen. His death, I mean. I don't stamped back up the stairs. 'We've been better.'

know what records you were accessing, but if they're

ones from the future, then all sorts of things may have

'So, are we going to go and get this thing of yours from happened in between. Time's very big. We don't get to whoever's got it?' Constance asked as Alexander led see it all. That's all I can say, really.' Bernice was rapidly them through the darkened corridors of the museum, starting to feel as if she'd killed Richard Hadleman refusing to open any curtains.

herself. 'Damn it, Alexander, I wish you hadn't looked.'

'That's the plan. Alexander says he has something to Alexander pulled out a big spotted handkerchief and help us,' Benny whispered, wondering why she was blew his nose, quickly wiping his tears away, though a whispering. Despite everything, Constance's chirpiness hard emptiness remained. 'Why, if I may ask, did you was raising her spirits too.

and your friend decide to visit us here?' he asked. 'Are

we morbid zoo creatures, on the brink of extinction?'

'I do indeed, loved one!' Alexander boomed, overhearing. Benny leant on his shoulder. 'Wasn't my choice. He He was taking deep breaths, being immensely brave, wanted to come here and suffer a bit, I think.'

They'd come to a locked room, for which he produced a

vast and assorted bunch of keys to enter. The doorbell chimed. Alexander rose and visibly pulled

himself together, buttoning his waistcoat. 'I'll have to go The room was a musty, wallpapered storage area, through all that business of going to prison,' he containing everything that the museum didn't see fit to muttered. 'I might be too old to be conscripted, though, display. Benny wouldn't have minded an afternoon in at least initially. What a winter it's going to be for us all.'

cataloguing the stuff; there were certainly a few pieces of

old metal that might have been worth the trouble, but As he wandered downstairs, Benny grabbed the unit, Alexander went straight to a packing case, and pulled and tapped out a request.

out two revolvers and several boxes of ammunition.

'Belonged to an uncle who was at Spion Kop.' He glanced Shuttleworth, Alexander: No records.

at Constance. 'I would have told your comrades of them,

but I didn't want knocks on my door at all hours from She leant back and switched the thing off, hiding it in a maidens wishing to be armed.' He handed her one of the deep pocket. She had already broken several laws of pistols, 'I couldn't face handling one; perhaps you can.'

time before breakfast. Oh, and ruined somebody's life.

She was definitely going to have words with the Doctor

'We have never used firearms,' Constance told him, about this.

slipping the gun into the pocket of her bloomers. 'But I

shall not hesitate to do so in defence of my life. I should Assuming, of course, the Doctor ever existed again. have you know though, Bernice, that we may commit

arson and explosion, but have not murdered anyone. We are sincerely moral campaigners.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

cheek. The little cobbled backstreet ended in a rough

'Fine. One day, I'll learn to talk like that, too,' Benny track that ran along the edge of a field. Big hedge, opined, checking the sights on one of the pistols. She luckily. Behind it, she could see the glint of metal. spun it, loaded it and dropped it into a pocket. 'Busy

day. Now, shall we - '

A purple sphere rocketed from the field and burst An explosion came from upstairs. Dust detached itself through an upper window of the museum with a from the roof in a solid layer, then fell. tremendous flammable thump. 'Go!' Benny called.

'Quietly!'

'Oh my God!' Alexander yelled. 'Quickly, the back door!'

They ran through the museum and Alexander swiftly Alexander and Constance ran with her to the hedge, unlocked the door.

and, crouching, they raced up the muddy track.

Benny put a hand on his shoulder. 'Calm down. Don't Benny had that familiar sick feeling in her stomach run.' She stepped to a window, and took a quick glance again, imagining bullets snickering through the hedge around the frame. The backstreet was empty. 'Now I and slicing them up. She really hated combat, hated the really wish Ace was here. I should think they're firing people who did this for a living and got close to enjoying some sort of heavy weapon from the field opposite. If we it.

pop down the street and along the hedge, we might be

able to get up to the forest without being seen.'

Well, there were exceptions, of course. She'd been too

cold with Alexander. Despite, no because, he was in the A trail of dark smoke was already drifting from the same boat as her. Except he'd only lost a friend. upstairs rooms. 'How do you think they found you?'

asked Alexander, the door handle gripped in his hand. They ran flat out for a hundred yards, hedge to the left,

backyard walls to the right, and broke out, thankfully,

'Probably a tracer of some kind. Beyond your ken, Alex.'

into a small copse at the edge of the woodlands. A

chalky path wound upwards into the hills, and they

'Excuse me,' asked Constance. 'Do I take it that we are followed it for a while, finally collapsing behind an being fired upon?'

uprooted tree trunk. Through the trees down-slope, a

tiny length of fence was visible. In the field beyond it,

'Yes.' Benny grinned at her over her shoulder. 'Sorry. strange figures were attending a silver cylinder. 'Another Happens to me every other week.'

two of them,' Benny muttered. 'I wonder who they are?'

'What an exciting life you must lead.'

'You mean you don't know?' Alexander glanced behind

them and forced a smile. 'I say, look, we're not alone on

'I have considered learning to type. All right, Alex, let me the barricades. It's Mrs Redfern's cat. Wolsey, isn't it?'

go first. Constance, when I say go, run as fast as your

bloomers will carry you.'

Wolsey was staring at the three humans from behind a

tree. He had something in his mouth. Constance looked Alexander opened the door and Benny hopped through at him nervously. 'Do shoo it away,' she said. 'I can't it, glancing quickly left and right, the pistol up to her stand cats. Now, Bernice, shall we find this object of 151

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

yours, now we are free? Who is it that has it? Some

friend who is keeping it safely?'

'Do you do amphibians?'

Benny sighed. 'I haven't been clear about what I've got Alexander looked between the three aliens. 'If this is a you into, have I? I thought that the two who attacked me disguise, what have you done with the real Constance?'

had got hold of it. I was planning to nick it back off

them. Unless the ones with the cannon are a different

'Stew,' August told him. He clapped Greeneye on the bunch, then they still must think that I've got it.'

shoulder and took the revolver off him while Hoff

disarmed Bernice. 'Now, since it seems that neither of us

'What is that in your mouth?' Alexander asked, holding have the prize we're after, I think you ought to come out a hand to the cat. Wolsey stepped forward, watching back to our base with us and have a little chat, don't Constance as he came. He dropped the thing in his jaws you?'

as he rubbed his head along Alexander's hand.

Alexander picked the muddied scrap up. 'Bit of lace collar.' He glanced up at Constance. 'Just like yours.'

'Goodness, so it is!' Constance turned to look, slipped the pistol from her pocket, pointed it at Wolsey and fired.

The shot just missed, and the cat leapt away, bounding off into the forest.

Benny jumped to her feet, but Constance jumped with her, shoving the revolver into her neck. 'Damned cats,'

she muttered. Then she whistled.

From higher up the slope, two armed figures appeared, running quickly downhill and covering Benny and Alexander with their weapons.

'Allow me to introduce August and Hoff,' the being that had been Constance told the others.

'You're -' Benny shook her head in frustration. 'I should have realized.'

'Not at all,' said Greeneye. 'I thought we were getting on rather well. Resolving as a dew and all that. Tell me, do you prefer me as a man or a woman?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

he'd have gone, too. He had written to his father explaining the circumstances of his misery last night, and expected him to arrive next week to take him away.

After a moment's silence, Phipps blurted out, 'He's still

ill, Sir!'

'Very well then. He's going to miss out on having a go at

the Vickers gun then, isn't he?' Rocastle was pleased at the smiles of anticipation from the boys. 'The Regiment Ch

C apter rSe

S v

e en

e

has kindly lent us one such weapon for the next month. Now, stand by for inspection.'

Friends and Other Lovers

Rocastle slowly walked along the rows, noting an undone button here and an unpolished rifle there. This

was the part he enjoyed most.

Timothy had spent most of the night in the tree in the Rocastle stood in the middle of the rear playing field, his orchard, the one he'd been sitting under when he'd got back straight, his chest proudly inflated, his swagger the Pod. He thought he knew why that had happened, stick tucked under his arm. He wore his old uniform, now, because he'd actually been up this particular tree the one he'd worn in the Transvaal, his campaign medal quite a few times before, tapping the wood with his ribbons on the breast.

fingers, getting a rhythm going, trying to be a ragtime

drummer. The tree knew who he was, and had trusted The boys stood before him in a square, at attention. him with what it contained. Or at least, that was what Hutchinson, Merryweather and the other Captains stood the Pod said. Since he'd died and come back to life, Tim at the front, their OTC uniforms neatly pressed and had been even more certain that his prize talked to him, clean. The outfits were a light tan. Nobody would told him things. Told him he could do things. mistake them for the real thing, but they did give the

lads a soldierly air. 'All present and correct, Captain It was with him while he sat in the crown of the tree that Merryweather?' he asked.

night. As the hours went by, he watched snails unfold

and struggle across the grass and bats flicker through

'One absentee, sir. Dean, sir.'

the trees. He heard the distant rustle of badgers in the

darkness and the sharp cries of foxes mating.

'Does anybody have a reason for Dean's absence?'

He wasn't cold. The burns on his neck had healed and Inwardly, Anand flinched, but he kept his gaze straight vanished. As well as watching the world around him, he forward, not saying a word. When the house had woken was watching himself and trying to understand all he that morning, there had been no sign of Tim. He was. He kept looking at his hands, marvelling at what suspected that he'd run away, which was jolly well the complex things they were, how much time was inscribed right thing to do in the circumstances. If it wasn't so far, on them. Every now and then, he felt a burning desire to 155

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

find a mirror and see his face. He knew that it was the

same, but he also knew that it would seem different.

He wasn't just here in the tree, either. He was wandering over the fields and watching the others in their beds, walking down the aisle between them. He was a baby lying in the arms of a woman who was the nearest thing he had to a mother, with stubby limbs that he could barely move. He was a slender enchanted sword, he was the rain in the air, the light of the stars, a word on a page in a book that he also was.

He found himself speaking words that he had both read and invented: 'I lived as a warrior before I was a man of letters. I wandered, I encircled, I slept in a hundred islands, I dwelt in a hundred forts.'

The words seemed good to him. Definitive. He put his hands to his chest and felt the beat of his hearts.

Timothy twice born. Timothy two heart. Dead and then

recovered.'

Alton, for some reason, had spun his rifle and slashed

his target across the head. Remarkably agile, but still He had stepped down from the tree towards dawn, not quite the thing. He'd have to take him down a peg for shaking the dew off of his shoulders.

that.

There was a whole world to explore.

He took a moment to glance at his watch. Where had

Smith got to? The man had made a promise to be here.

***

Do his standing in the eyes of the boys a power of good.

'Charge!' bellowed Rocastle, and the boys set off across

'And halt!' he shouted. 'Now then, let's see what we can the field, bayonets fixed on the end of their (fortunately do with that Vickers gun, shall we?'

unloaded, because at least five of them were squeezing

the trigger as they ran) rifles.

***

They impacted the stuffed sack targets, each tied into Smith and Joan were lying back in the sunshine, elbow the shape of a man. Most of them carried through very to elbow, looking into each other's eyes. well. A few made a cursory stab then ran off again, and

a few got carried away, attacking the stuffing again and

'I have to ask you,' said Smith, 'about Rocastle. You said again. That wouldn't do in battle. While that was going there was some other problem with him. What was it?'

on, another man would be on them.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Oh, nothing terrible. He only asked me to marry him.'

A shadow fell over them. Joan opened her eyes, then

suddenly jerked away from Smith, frantically brushing

'What?'

down her blouse. Smith looked up.

'Yes, early in our acquaintance, he thought that he Timothy was standing there, smiling down at them. would take the burden of widowhood from my shoulders.

I told him that it was a very charitable thought, but that

'Ah, Timothy, we were just' - Smith looked at Joan, who I could never love another.'

was looking away, quickly munching at a sandwich

again - 'having a picnic...' he finished weakly.

'Do you still feel the same way?'

'I saw you here. I wanted to ask you something,' said the

'Of course.'

dishevelled boy. 'They're learning how to be soldiers,

back at the school.'

'Oh...'

'Shouldn't you be there?' Joan asked, relieved that the Joan looked at him seriously for a moment. Then she boy seemed not to have noticed the kiss. burst out laughing. 'Your face!'

Timothy sat down, his legs crossed, on the edge of the Smith's frown left him and he returned a nervous smile. rug. 'That's what I wanted to ask about. I wanted to ask,

'So you were lying to Rocastle?'

don't most soldiers get killed? Especially when there are

machine-guns involved? Isn't this a bad thing to teach

'Of course. He's hardly love's young dream, is he? And I them, in that case?' His blue eyes stared at Smith, who had to let him down very gently, because he could have fumbled with his tie awkwardly.

declared that it was too embarrassing for both of us and

sacked me on the spot. As it turned out, he became very

'Questions like that, they're too big for us...' he noble and left with a terribly brave and tragic look on his muttered.

face. You could have cut butter with his chin. He turned

at the door and told me that he thought my love for a

'You see, my father said I would be a soldier, but I think departed hero was quite admirable, and that he would that means I shall die. Or worse, that I shall kill other gladly sacrifice his own happiness for it. I do believe the people. I don't want to do it. What should I do?'

man is looking to sacrifice himself for something

continuously. I had to stuff a handkerchief in my mouth

'There's a passage in Henry V that I could recommend. to stop myself giggling until he was out of earshot.'

It's not a sin to kill people if your sovereign's ordered you

to do it, because the decisions of war are between him Smith had been staring at her. 'You're brave.'

and God. It's not your fault if you're obeying orders.'

'They say that about people who are dying. Like them, I

'So the murders are his fault?'

do not see that I've ever had any choice to make.'

'Well, in war it's not exactly murder. There are bigger Smith folded her into his arms and kissed her. things involved. King and country, duty to your fellows.

That sort of thing.' Smith glanced at Joan, only to find 159

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that she was looking at the sheep in the next field, from other people. I wouldn't know what to do with a ignoring him. 'Perhaps you could ask the vicar for some gun. I used to lose every fight in the playground. There more help?'

was a boy with an early beard, and you know how bad

they are. He used to put me in a headlock and upset my

'Perhaps,' sighed Timothy. 'I think I know what he'll say, experiments. But Tim's in my class. When he asks his though. He'll say I have to be a soldier.'

teacher a question, he has to tell him something or... or

the world breaks down; the art and the science and the

'Well, that's not true, is it?' Joan interrupted, her voice society have no meaning.' He gazed around him, as if sharp. 'There are lots of things you could do. You don't seeing the countryside for the first time. 'We'd be so have to be a soldier.'

alone, without the thoughts of past people. Making the

world. Making this place for us to inhabit. We'd be...

'I don't have to be a soldier.' Tim rose to his feet, meaningless.'

nodding. 'Good. Thank you.' He turned and wandered off

again, vanishing back into the forest. Smith stared after Suddenly he stood up, turning away from Joan. He him, impotently raising a hand with a half-formed clutched his wounded fist with his other hand and intention of telling him to go back to school. Finally, he stared at it. 'No. That's wrong,' he whispered. 'Those turned back to Joan. She was still avoiding his gaze. aren't my lines. What am I missing?'

'That might have been the wrong thing to say.'

'John?' Joan had got to her feet also. 'John, please don't

'Oh, might it?' There came a distant rumble. Then be so upset. Are you all right?'

another, a moment later. 'That sounds like thunder.

Perhaps we should pack up and go, Dr Smith.'

Smith stared at her, clutching his hand as if it were the

last plank of the ship he'd been wrecked with. 'If you

'There aren't any clouds. Perhaps it's Rocastle playing said "fly", I'd grow wings.'

soldiers.'

'I know. I'm sorry. Would you have me change my

ideals?'

'Playing soldiers?' Joan hadn't yet made any move to

begin packing. 'Well, that is a fine turn of phrase from

'No.' Smith let his hand drop to his side. Whatever he'd somebody who seems so fond of the military. Or perhaps been trying to remember, it had been swept away. 'I'd you have one word for me and another for the rest of the rather I changed mine.'

world?'

***

'What? No...' Smith bit his lip in frustration. 'What else

could I tell him?'

Benny and Alexander were being manacled by the wrists

to a pair of upright metal sheets in the aliens' dome. The

'The truth? That being a soldier is all about being killed metal was stained with old blood and showed the signs and being afraid of being killed? It seems that you and of heat and hard impacts. Benny took the chance to look Arthur share some of the same illusions.'

around the dome. A central woven green mat,

presumably where these people slept, lay in front of a

'No! I mean -' Smith knelt up, gesturing frantically. 'I metal frame covered by a sheet. Bags of equipment and don't know anything about the army. I learnt all this ordnance lay scattered about on the leafy soil floor and 161

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sensor equipment stood around everywhere. The dome reasonably intact. If we have so much as one complete itself was obviously some kind of a field; there must be a cell, we can take on the memory of what we eat, also.'

generator somewhere. The place had an offhand aura of

violence and the smell of a slaughterhouse.

'Wonderful, isn't it?' Greeneye took a pinch of Bernice's

hair in his fingers and sniffed it. 'We are what we eat, as

'You can ask me to talk if you like,' she told the I'm sure you were about to observe. Haven't you ever occupants. 'It's one of my things. The trouble is, as looked in the mirror and wished to be different: thinner, you've fortunately discovered, I won't be able to tell you stronger, more beautiful? Or met somebody and wanted anything useful.'

to be whatever they needed, old or young, man or

woman?'

'Yes, I'm aware of that,' August told her. 'You thought we

had the Pod, we thought you had it. Since Dr Smith Benny looked at him cheerfully. 'Sounds like hard work. doesn't seem to have it either, what we've got to find out I wouldn't change one lovely inch of me.' She glanced at is: who has got it?'

the strand of hair in his fingers. 'You know, if you eat

that, you'll have terrible trouble with split ends.'

'Beats me. Don't take that as a hint. Who are you lot,

anyway? Why do you want the Pod?'

Greeneye let go.

'Typical Interventionist training.' Greeneye stepped out Benny glanced at Alexander standing beside her. He had from behind a screen, back in his normal form again. a solid look of anger about his face, his gaze fixed ahead, Aphasia, similarly transformed, followed him. 'We tie you as if he were waiting for a chance to express his rage. It up, you get us to explain the plot.'

might not be a good time to ask this next question, but

she wanted to know.

'Well,' Benny glanced at her boots, 'I haven't been

trained by anybody, as I have to remind myself at

'Did I ever meet the real Constance?'

intervals, and I had in mind a sort of a deal. I rather like

it here. The Doctor's fallen in love and is blissfully Greeneye concentrated, then nodded. 'Yes. In the teahappy. I don't call all that a fate worse than death, to be shop, that was her.' He licked his lips. 'She was honest. If you can find this bloody Pod, you're welcome delicious.'

to it. I'll even help you find it. But I do like to know who

I'm dealing with.'

'You bastard!' shouted Alexander suddenly, his face

reddening.

'Now she's pretending to side with us!' laughed

Greeneye. 'This is classic!'

'Hardly,' said Greeneye. 'August's my father.'

'Yes, but I think we should observe the formalities.'

'Father to all of them, actually,' August explained, August indicated the others. 'We are Aubertides, clicking a button on the wall. Alexander opened his Professor Summerfield, from the planet Aubis. We're mouth to shout again and found that he couldn't. shape-changers, as you may have gathered. We can eat

'Aubertides bud. I produced Greeneye from a pouch that anything organic and can duplicate the appearance of had grown on my back. He then gave birth to one of our anything that we take in that has its genetic material 163

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family who didn't come with us, who in turn produced

'So I noticed. I suppose budding must get boring. Serif. Serif produced Aphasia - '

Especially when you can't do it any more.'

'With certain... improvisations of my own,' whispered

'Well, that's just the point,' said August. 'We Serif.

encountered a Time Lord on the planet Apertsu, which

we were contemplating as our next acquisition. The

'And Aphasia produced Hoff, the baby of the family. That Apertsians are a race of flying rodents, and he was was a difficult birth, I can tell you.'

acting as a security consultant for them, setting up

various defence barriers which would have presented us

'It was yucky!' Aphasia spat.

with considerable problems. Now, you hear a lot of

rubbish about the Capitol not interfering in the affairs of

'Now, normally, that would be it for an Aubertide. The other races, and at the time we were rather surprised to genetic material gets drawn too thin, and six family see him there, but it seems they do this sort of thing members is all you get. The Grand Circle on Aubis was quite often when they feel that they might eventually made up of thirty-six members, for example, six come under threat. They're quite keen on interbreeding complete families. That's not really enough for us, which the humanoid races, for one thing, directing genetic drift is why we're here. We've devoted our lives to the pursuit by introducing genetic material from one biosystem into of power and pleasure - '

another. One surmises that they're looking for a way to

ease their periodic infertility.'

'Thrown off of Aubis, conquered six solar systems in the

local area using biological weapons, used the proceeds of

'We kidnapped this Time Lord,' Serif hissed, 'intending their economies to fuel new weapons research and to see if I, who have gained mastery over the depths of conquered several more,' Greeneye explained, as if the mind, could pry any of the secrets of regeneration reeling off an old story. 'The trouble is, a sort of lethargy from him. I could not. His consciousness was as sets in.'

labyrinthine as any of the barriers he planned to set. So

we took a biological sample and consumed it between

'We have no political or sociological goals beyond our us, intending to take on the ability to regenerate own pleasure,' Serif hissed. 'Which means that we genetically. Nothing happened save a fever that nearly swiftly reached a point where we had no goals left at all. killed us. While we were in this weakened state, our There are only six of us. We have already returned to subject was able to escape and return to his TARDIS. Aubis to conquer it and slaughter our former Moments later, we were time-looped.'

tormentors. It does not take a dozen planets to serve our

greatest desires - even Greeneye's perverted sexual

'It was horrible!' Aphasia added. 'Like being on a appetites.'

roundabout all the time!'

'Oh yes?' Benny raised an eyebrow.

'He must have returned to the Citadel and convinced the

Interventionists to take us on,' August continued. 'We

'I have... an attraction to other species,' Greeneye told were only saved by Greeneye's intuition that you could her.

outrun a time loop by completing the action spiral faster

and faster. Time Loops are creatures, after all, and any creature can be fooled. We fled the planet as quickly as 165

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we could, but the whole adventure had given us a new very common dream, for children on Gallifrey are very aim in life, a plan that would provide us with ambition rare.'

and future purpose. We want to take on the attributes of

a Time Lord, the ability to regenerate included. As our August twirled on his heel. He seemed to be enjoying research proved, our genetic matrices are similar enough telling the tale. 'We sent out a call along the subtler back to theirs so that each of the thirteen incarnations of an streets of electronic dispatch, the frequencies listened to Aubertide Time Lord would be able to bud, and each by Interventionists and assassins. After months of newly budded descendant would be able to regenerate waiting, stuck on one planet while... our brother... went twelve times itself and have a child each time. So an about his work, finally the call came. It was your friend individual Aubertide would be able to have thirteen the Doctor, with a great sadness about his shoulders. He children, and each of those thirteen, also.'

wanted to be human, had even written a fictional human

memory print for himself. Now, this was ideal for our

'You should be careful,' Benny mused. 'You're trying to purposes. Had a Time Lord arrived wanting wings, we reinvent the Grandparent. Christmas will never be the would have attached our Biodatapod to his forehead, same again.'

and he would have found himself with said appendages,

but without the genetic information that made him a

'We're extending our family to the size of an army. With Time Lord. That would be contained, carefully edited Serif's skills at influencing a child as it develops in its and programmed, and then made ready for our use, by parent, we'll be able to create individuals suited to the most complex nanite processors ever designed, in particular tasks. The Aubertides, once ignored as a race, the Pod. He'd be rather surprised by that, so a degree of will become a major force in galactic affairs.'

force would have been necessary, particularly if he was

on a mission from the Capitol.'

Greeneye saw the piteous look on Bernice's face and

shrugged. 'Don't knock it, it's something to do.'

Greeneye nodded. 'Interventionists have several back ups. We were ready, when we thought up this plan, to

'So,' Serif continued, 'we set up one of our family as a fight our way to the vortex gate, ready for the doublebodysmith. He turned out to have a natural affinity for cross. Since the Pod takes days to make the genetic the job, restructuring the bodies of the rich to suit their information usable by an Aubertide, we thought we'd desires.'

have to run somewhere quickly with it.'

'It was nearly as lucrative as looting and enslaving,' Hoff

'We didn't have to go through all that, thanks to the muttered.

Doctor,' said August. 'His offer seemed so perfect that we

spent days checking the incoming path of his TARDIS, Serif continued the story. 'We let it be known that he watching for others around it, scanning the market area was in a position to give a Time Lord whatever form or for other Gallifreyans. But there were none. We thought mind they wanted. That's a particular dream of he would take the Pod off to a primitive civilization, Gallifreyans, as I knew from wandering through that forget he was a Time Lord and probably just leave it young Interventionist's mind. They regenerate and find lying around somewhere for us to pick up. There was no themselves to be much the same, and every now and need for any large-scale action of the kind that those then they dream how wonderful it would be to be able to with Time-Space Visualizers tend to notice, no need for fly or be of the opposite sex or have a child. That last is a any violence at all. Of course we said yes, and he arrived 167

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several days later. Everything was going as planned

'You have absolutely nothing to bargain with.' August until-'

gestured to his family. 'All right, we'll do a sweep for

unusual bioactivity right across the area.' He glanced at

'You arrived here and couldn't find the Pod anywhere.'

the two captives. 'And be back in time for tea.'

'Precisely. It's not in his house, it's not in his clothes or Smith and Joan had finished their picnic and had baggage. We've even searched the schoolroom where he walked idly with the hamper for a while, crossing from teaches. Tell me, why did you think we had it?'

one field to another. Smith suspected that they were

both trying to get out of range of the military noises Benny shrugged. 'Because it's gone from the place where which had been coming from the direction of the school. I was told to hide it.'

They largely walked in silence, him glancing at his hand

from time to time and wondering if he'd scared her with

'A tree?' Serif asked.

that sudden outburst.

'As a matter of fact, yes.'

How odd. The large things inside him shouldn't come

bursting out at awkward times like that. He didn't want

'Yes, that's clever of him. Time Lord biodata can hang on to scare her. 'I'm not like that,' he said. to organic matter quite invisibly, though the data can

start to affect the host form.'

'Like what?'

'Good thought.' August clicked his fingers in Hoff's

direction. 'Scan for any unusual vegetation in the area.

'Like you think I am.'

Now, Professor Summerfield, do you have any other

ideas as to who might have taken the Pod?'

'And how's that?' At least she was smiling.

'Not one. As you know, I'm as in the dark as you are.

'I don't know. But I'm not like it. You make me lose the Which is great, incidentally, because you've got ability to communicate. Like there's sometimes a huge absolutely no reason to torture me.'

gap between us.'

'Very true,' August agreed. 'We'll kill you both quite

'I feel the same way, and that is rather frightening. Odd humanely before we eat you. Oh, and, Greeneye, do you to find that one's sweetheart disagrees with one on want to - '

something so central.'

Greeneye nodded.

'But I don't!' He was about to start on another huge

explanation when she put a finger to his lips.

'It seems he does. So that's something to look forward to

at least.'

'Hush. I don't know why, but it seems to me that you are

just discovering what you think, like a little boy being Benny kept her tone level. 'I thought we had an influenced by great men and heroic stories. That makes agreement.'

me feel like I'm being romanced by a young swain, and I

suppose I quite like that, but I do wonder if it's good that 169

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you should be such a blank slate. Any other woman, I

suspect, would want to feel that she would be the one

'You mean you hadn't planned it?'

growing wings if asked to fly.'

'No.' He switched pockets, searching in his waistcoat.

'That's not because I'm special. It's because you are.'

'But I mean it. Completely. Utterly. Ah... ' He pulled out

a ring with a purple jewel set on it. 'A little gaudy. Don't

'Thank you, sir.' She put her arms round his neck. 'I know where I got it. Perhaps I wore it once. Will it do?'

dislike it when you're very manly, yet I wonder who else

but me leads you.'

'Yes.' She took the ring and stared into the jewel. 'And I

was complaining of you being easily led. Goodness, I can

'Another woman?' He frowned.

hardly catch my breath.' She grabbed his hand and held

the ring up to his finger. 'Wait a moment - this doesn't

'Rocastle. Or some other general.'

fit you! Heartbreaker!' She laughed, trying to fit the ring

over his finger, much to Smith's discomfort. He started

'Ah, but he was just as led by you. You're my general's to hop, holding his wounded hand to his head and general, so I owe you ultimate allegiance.'

looking away as if to ignore the pain.

'But is that good?'

'It was mine, I'm sure. Maybe I changed? Ow!'

He put an unwounded finger under her chin. 'Is that They fell into a pile of limbs, Joan's legs tumbling round important?' And kissed her again.

his very immodestly, and kissed excitedly in such a

jumble. Finally, they unwrapped themselves, Joan She pulled away after a moment. 'Very manly.'

blushing thoroughly again. 'We're not married yet, John

Smith. Do you like blackberry jam?'

'Too manly?'

'Jam? I don't know. I wonder if I've tried it?'

'No.'

'Well, I make some every summer, so let us keep our

'Will you marry me?'

hands to ourselves and see if we can find any early

blackberries.' She hopped up and picked up her hat Joan froze, staring at him. 'I... Could you give me... a few from where it had fallen. Instead of replacing it on her days to think about it?'

head, she upturned it and headed off for the hedgerow.

'Of course.'

Smith followed, his hands in his pockets, whistling a

jaunty tune. He bent to pick a poppy and fixed it to his Joan grinned, looking happy and lost. 'I hate to be so buttonhole.

conventional, but could I have a ring or something?

Then if I say yes, you could... see that I've said yes.'

'That's good!' she called, wandering along the hedge and

plucking at the occasional early berry. 'What is it?'

'Oh, yes.' Smith fumbled in his pockets, putting the

hamper down on the grass. 'I hadn't anticipated this.'

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'I'm not sure.' Smith tried to remember the lyrics. 'This

old heart of mine... is weak for you... That's the title, but He stepped back in fear and lost the vision. His hand I don't know who sings it.'

plucked the poppy from his lapel and he sniffed it

absently, his mind racing. There was a wall here. A real

'A n-band, probably. We must go to London and see wall. Walls meant a prison. A prison meant guards. But one, if we save up, and have a meal in some terribly what did the vision mean?

precious cafe.'

Joan wandered up to his shoulder, her hat full of

'Yes.' Smith winced. His hand had contracted again for a blackberries, and he bounced the poppy off her nose, moment then, as if something else had jarred. 'I'll just still frowning.

walk to the fence...' He set off up the field, wishing that

he could identify what it was that was curling him up

'Tell me,' he said. 'When you first met me, did I have an inside. Perhaps it would get in the way of his marriage. umbrella?'

Marriage! What a leap! How had he done that?

Ahead the field broadened out into a meadow with a few trees. At its end, up a light slope, was a wooden fence. And around the fence wheeled a flock of swallows. That was an odd sight at this time of day, there'd be no big concentration of insects for them to catch. And they were very low.

Something was shimmering in the air, a heat haze on a day too cool for one. It was actually getting closer, too, as he approached it, which was as impossible as walking through a rainbow.

He reached his wounded hand out to touch the phantom.

The shock rushed up his arm and thumped straight into his head.

A cat pinned down on a table, its skull open to show its brain. The folds of its head were pinned back and bloody white, like the skin on a roast chicken.

It was alive.

'Who's going to intervene?' a woman shouted. 'Who can save them now?'

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'Women? If I'm about to be killed, loved one, that's the last thing I want to think about. Were you in love with your knight, Bernice?'

'Oh yes. No doubt about it. Full-scale romance. We

nearly got there, too. Another few feet, and - oh, sod it!'

She started to pull at the manacles, her wrists chafing white against the cuffs. 'I will not die like this! There's so

much more to do! There's my dad out there somewhere, Alex! And that bastard is not going to get his hands on Ch

C apter rE

ight

me first! Do you hear me, Alex?'

'I hear you, loved one,' Alexander whispered. Everything Changes

Benny strained her hands against the manacles until

her thumbs started to dislocate with the force of it. If your life depended on it, couldn't you just ignore the pain and wreck your hands?

Alexander slowly turned his head towards Bernice and She gritted her teeth.

coughed experimentally. The noise echoed around the

little dome. He opened his mouth and shouted Probably not.

something, but no sound was audible. Finally, he tried a

whisper.

Then the metal sheet thumped her in the back.

'I didn't understand a word of that. Are they Martians?'

She waggled her hands to let the blood flow back into

them, and the sheet fell backwards, nearly pulling her

'No. We could do with a few Martians right now. They'd off her feet. She pulled forward and took the weight of it sort those bastards out.' Benny closed her eyes, trying to on her back. At the base of the sheet was a churned-up stop the feeling of panic that was welling up in her clump of soil. Two thin metal spikes that had fixed it stomach. If the fear overwhelmed her, she wouldn't be into the ground had snapped in half.

able to think. 'If I could reach to get the laser cutter out

of my pocket, we'd also be better off. Alex, can you think

'I pulled it out of the soil! I bloody pulled it out!' Benny of a really clever way to get out of this?'

shouted. 'Quickly, Alex, heave!' She hefted the sheet of

metal on to her back, still manacled to it, and stamped

'Not at all.'

around behind Alex to lean all of her weight on the back

of his sheet. Together, the weight and his efforts

'Because neither can I, and I really don't want to think snapped the supports on that one too.

about what's going to happen when they get back. So

what do you want to think about? Women?'

'My God, how do we get out?' Alex stumbled forward,

tortoise like, carrying his sheet as Benny carried hers.

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'Which button was it? I think that's it...' Benny stamped use of weapons is down to the C.O. Anyhow, enough up to a piece of machinery and angled the bottom corner stories. Shall we give it a go?'

of her sheet at it. She swung the metal deftly and the

corner hit a button dead centre.

'Yes, sir!' chorused the boys.

A square opening appeared in the side of the dome.

'All right then. Phipps, you've seen how to pass the

'Come on!' Benny called. 'Run!'

ammo belt. Pay attention, boys, you'll all get a chance to

fire her. Stand clear now. Don't get near the cartridge The two awkward fugitives scrambled out into the forest ejection.'

and jogged away as fast as they could manage doubled

up.

The boys hurried behind the machine-gun as Rocastle

trained it on a row of straw figures in the middle

'At least we'll be safe if they start shooting at us,'

distance. Phipps got down on one knee and grabbed the murmured Alexander.

belt of ammunition that fed into the side of the gun.

***

'Is the line of fire clear?' asked Rocastle ritually.

'Now these' - Rocastle held up a smooth, shiny-jacketed

'Yes, sir!' shouted Phipps.

bullet pulled from the belt that fed the Vickers gun - 'are

for enemy armies. Austrians, we might assume,

'Stand by to fire.' Rocastle slipped the safety catch off. Serbians or Germans. These will go right through the

'Fire!'

body and leave a clean, decent wound or kill instantly,

as such noble enemies deserve.'

The noise of the bullets ripped up the air, hot cartridges

spinning out of the gun. The boys took a step back, The boys were clustered around, listening intently as gritting their teeth against the urge to put their hands Rocastle sat on a sandbag behind the machine-gun, over their ears or to cry. The targets spat straw their imaginations racing across landscapes of cavalry everywhere, buffeted as they hung as if they were being charges and courageous squares of men in uniform. He tom apart by some invisible monster.

held up another bullet, a square, sharp-edged one. 'This

is for tribesmen, rebels and those whose creed is

'Sir! Christ, sir!' Phipps shouted. 'Stop!'

unchristian, thus disallowing them from the basic

'What did you say?' Rocastle bellowed, referring to the brotherhood of all professional soldiers.'

blasphemy rather than the sound. Then he saw it

himself, and let go of the trigger.

'Please, sir,' Merryweather raised his hand, 'did you use Behind the targets, a dishevelled figure was pushing those in Pretoria?'

through the hedge, its school uniform in tatters.

'Well, ah...' Rocastle stroked his moustache thoughtfully.

'Tim,' whispered Anand.

'What can I say, Captain Merryweather? Mixture of both.

Brother Boer doesn't always behave like a serious The figure wandered up to the targets and touched them soldier. Most of them were farmers with knives between gingerly, as if examining them. It turned to look at the their rotten teeth. Not our decision to make; anyhow, 177

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group of boys around the machine-gun, and grinned at

them.

'Sorry,' Timothy raised his hands in a gesture of

pacification. 'I thought you were busy, sir. That's an It was wearing poppies in its hair.

early edition of Darwin on your shelf. I thought you - '

Rocastle stood up, the sudden fear he'd felt when his

'Never mind the bloody books.' Rocastle matched each finger was still on the trigger boiling into rage. 'Captain hissed syllable with a stride round his desk and made Hutchinson, I am going to my study. Bring that boy to the last one into a slap that sent the boy flying into the me. The rest of you are dismissed.'

corner. 'You could have been killed this afternoon! What

are you playing at? What are you playing at?'

***

'I'm not sure, sir,' Tim sighed, staying where he'd fallen. Hutchinson and Merryweather dragged the unresisting

'I see so many strange things. I think I've grown up.'

Timothy along the polished corridors to Rocastle's study.

'You're a disgrace to the school uniform,' Hutchinson Rocastle laughed bitterly and dragged him to his feet. told him, pulling the flowers from his hair. 'You look like

'Like hell you have! I've heard enough about your a girl.'

illnesses, your cissy ways, and now the flowers in your

hair! A fine miss, you are, boy! Now, are you going to

'Really?' Timothy asked. 'A pretty one?'

pull yourself together and join in with this outfit? Are

you?' He shook Timothy harder and harder, until his Hutchinson punched him hard in the stomach and left head swung from side to side sickeningly. Merryweather to straighten him up as he knocked on

Rocastle's door. He waited for an answer, then stepped

'Don't-'

inside and saluted again. 'Prisoner and escort, sir.'

'That's sir!' Rocastle bellowed, his face red. Rocastle looked up from his desk, resisting a sudden

impulse to tell Hutchinson that this wasn't a playground Timothy closed his eyes as he was shaken, drew in a game. No. The boy was following proper form. 'Let the, breath and stuck out a finger.

ah, prisoner, in, Captain. You needn't escort him. Then

you're dismissed.'

The finger caught Rocastle in the centre of the forehead.

He stared at it. Then he crumpled into a heap. Hutchinson nodded, led Timothy into the room and left,

closing the door behind him.

Timothy staggered back, staring down at the body. Then

he started to laugh, wiping his mouth on the back of his The boy immediately limped over to Rocastle's unbuttoned sleeve. 'You'll die in pain, in ten years, with bookshelves and started scanning them. He didn't even a tumour on your bowel,' he told the unconscious figure. seem to notice the Head, who had begun writing again to Then he turned and ran from the room.

give the boy some sense of scale. After a moment, he

realised that he was being ignored back, and something

***

snapped inside him. He leapt to his feet. 'Dean! How

dare you ignore me!'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Mr Hodges had been kneeling in the middle of the road, major measured by walking along it, slapping the air praying, when the army convoy rolled up. An officer had with the baton.

hopped out of the first of the dusty green vans,

introduced himself as Major Wrightson and asked what The air made a fearful series of echoes. the trouble was.

One soldier had opened his eyes full wide then, and ran Hodges told him that he'd had a vision up ahead and to a bush to be sick. His fellows calmed him, and he told been called upon to change his ways. He asked the them later how the noises had reminded him of major to leave him alone, and, with a nod and shrug to something big and terrible, like being buried under a his comrades back in the van, the soldier did so. pile of metal and hearing faint voices, the language of

which you don't understand. They all felt lonely at the They drove around him, with great care, and picked up echoes, even Wrightson. He was an Eights enthusiast, speed as they returned to the centre of the road. and the clash of his stick on the air only made him

wonder why he was here, why he wasn't scudding across That was when the first van compacted, its front some bright, flat lake in the sunshine. The echo was like flattening like it had hit a wall. The cap on the radiator being lost at sea, a little shape rolling in waves that blew upwards in a blast of steam. The other two vans reared like mountains alongside you.

braked before they ran into the back of the first.

'That's the voice of God, that chime,' Hodges had sighed, Mr Hodges had stood up to watch the soldiers scramble his gnarled old face beaming in the first real rays of the out and stare at what was in their way: nothing. The morning sun. 'He's coming back today.'

front of the crashed van was rapidly rusting, a thin red

layer rising to smudge the air around its bonnet. To

'You may well be right.' The major watched as what had Hodges, it made the soldiers look like they were just been the bonnet of his van dissolved into an oxidizing figures in a painting, staring at a puff of paint that had cloud. He turned to the man in charge of the following fallen

across

the

canvas.

A

smell

of

passing

truck. 'Gas masks!'

thunderstorms suddenly filled the air, but this was a The soldiers ran back into the trucks, emerging a clear spring morning.

moment later wearing the grotesque masks with their

dangling filters. The major spent a few moments trying Some of the men, those who lived through the next few to persuade Hodges to wear one too, to no avail. 'All months,

claimed

that

they'd

smelt

something

right. Stanley, Torrence, with me. Let's see how far we sulphurous in that suspended red cloud, but the can get through this thing.'

recollections everybody had of the spring of 1914 were

full of portents after the fact.

Two soldiers shouldered arms and ran to Wrightson's

side. They walked up to the barrier, hands outstretched, The major had clambered out of the cab and started and touched the smooth surface of the air. 'Wonderful,'

shouting at his driver to back up. He probed the red Wrightson breathed. He'd been chosen for this job cloud with his baton. With a sudden crash, the whole because he'd been part of the only unit in Britain to front end of the van gave way and the cloud grew have been training under gas conditions. If this was the heavier. It was following a gently upward slope, war he could look forward to... well, it was different, describing the perimeter of something invisible that the anyway. 'Try and push through it,' he ordered. The three 181

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

men advanced, heaving against the barrier, their palms

feeling the slight warmth of it.

Suddenly he stopped. Great stellar teeth flashed at him.

'Is it time?' enquired a surprisingly soft voice from a

'Sir!' called Stanley. 'Look!'

bright star that flashed past. He was left stumbling in its

trail.

A soldier was running towards them on the other side of

the barrier, waving his arms urgently. 'Ah, good, now

'I don't know. Is it?'

we'll get some answers,' muttered Wrightson. 'Hey there,

who are you with' The thought died in his mouth as he Whatever was associated with the object turned, and recognised the Royal Artillery shoulderflash. Somebody Wrightson caught a look of agonised imprisonment from from his own regiment in fact...

it... from her. And then she was gone. Oh my God,' Stanley whispered. The man on the other

side of the barrier was Stanley too.

Earth returned like a knot in his stomach. He took his

palms off the barrier, and looked down to see Torrence

'Don't touch it!' he was shouting. 'Don't -'

lying there. He would have done something, but Stanley

was running towards the barrier again. This time he The Stanley on this side of the barrier thought of himself wasn't alone.

for a moment, and then he was the dome, stretched

across the countryside in an arc, and glad to be A young man was holding his hand.

everywhere the dome touched at once. He resolved

himself into being a hundred yards down the road, and The soldier and the boy ran right through the barrier. saw his former self, that silly old thing, trudging up to Stanley collapsed into Wrightson's arms. the barrier. He ran forward, shouting for him not to

touch it.

Timothy looked around at the soldiers. 'More of you?

Well, don't do anything rash.'

Torrence, who was a lot less of a churchgoer than

Stanley, found that he'd lived in the past and would live

'Now, wait a moment,' Wrightson began, 'what...'

in the future. He saw the view from the longhall in

Dublin and felt the bones of a roe deer between his teeth

'Actually,' Tim interrupted him, 'don't do anything at all. as the sun rose over Ethiopian plains. He saw Torrence Especially to this wall, whatever it is.' With a grin of continued, his name and his cell memory, across accomplishment, he turned on his heel and ran back generations. He saw that he would have children and through it.

that they would prosper. And here he was, as yet

unmarried.

The soldiers watched him go. Wrightson got a stretcher

party together for the unfortunate Torrence. He fell from the barrier, his mind blinking off like a

speck of static, dead.

'Sir,' said Stanley, grabbing his superior by the

forearms, 'did you see it? Is it the Lord, sir?'

Wrightson flashed upwards through the atmosphere,

yelling as he encompassed the globe of the Earth inside

'If it is,' Wrightson spoke loudly, so his men could hear, his body.

'then he's got the Artillery here to guard him. We'll form 183

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

a perimeter round this thing, one man every hundred yards. Keep an eye on your neighbour, don't touch the wall. Meanwhile, I'll try to get a wire through to HQ.' He lowered his voice again and disengaged from Stanley's grip, patting the man gently on the shoulder.

They shared a long release of breath. 'In short,' muttered the major, 'holy flaming cow.'

***

Benny and Alexander ran through the forest, carrying the big metal sheets on their backs.

'How far is it to this blacksmith of yours?' Benny panted.

'It's over the hill.'

'So am I. This is the sort of thing they tried to make me

do when I was in military training.'

As Alexander swung his burden to see, the lithe figure

broke from cover. It was a schoolboy, Benny was relieved

'You were going to be a soldier? Do they let ladies do to see, albeit a very messy one. He stood watching them that in the future?'

for a moment.

Benny was about to reply with something apt, but then Benny noticed that he was holding something. Was that she saw a figure standing behind the trees in front of a cricket ball? Then she realised. Just as Timothy them and a surge of fear swept through her. 'Alex, look!'

turned and ran.

'Wait, stop!' Benny yelled. 'He's got the bloody Pod!'

She tried to run after him, but fell, halfway up the slope that Timothy had scrambled away up. Alexander hobbled over, and with much effort, got her back to her feet again.

'We, loved one, are in no position to take part in a chase.'

'I know, damn it,' Benny sighed. 'But unlike everybody else, we now know who's got what we're looking for.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

***

'This is a complete waste of time.' Greeneye was pacing

back and forth, twirling the dials on his particular Nathan Bottomley was a blacksmith, farrier and scanning unit randomly. 'The Pod isn't showing up as a metalworker. He was known to everybody in Farringham mutation agent or broadcasting on any electromagnetic from those occasions when he'd come into a house and wavelength. We'd need to be psychic.'

bash the boiler with a spanner, listen to the chime and

then mutter: 'No, that's absolutely ridiculous. You were

'That,' hissed Serif, grabbing the scanner off him, 'is one hoping for hot water at Christmas?'

of the things we shall be, if we can find the Pod!'

He was currently attending to the first of a pair of new

'Greeneye's just hungry!' Aphasia teased. She didn't shoes for the old Lucas mare, hammering the red hot have a scanner. She'd just narrowed her eyes and was metal against his anvil, holding it in the clamp. An turning her head in an imperceptibly slow arc. edition of Sons and Lovers was propped open by a metal

doorstop beside him. He had opened up the big doors to

'She'll still be there when we get back,' said August. 'I his workshop by the stream to let the cool breezes in, just hope that you do your business behind the screen but it wasn't as satisfying a day as he had expected. It or something.'

wanted to storm, but couldn't. A bit of rain would be a

relief.

'I want to watch!' moaned Aphasia.

'You can.' Greeneye ruffled her hair. 'Tell you what, you

'Nathan!' Bottomley looked up at the urgent call and can have her pancreas afterwards.'

saw a bizarre sight trudging into his yard. Alexander

Shuttleworth and a girl in trousers, with dirty great

'I've got the pancreas, I've got the pancreas!' sang the sheets of metal on their backs. 'Nathan...' Alexander little girl, glancing up at Serif. 'And you haven't, and you leaned heavily on the wheel of a threshing machine that haven't...'

was in for repair. 'Help...'

Serif raised a dangerous eyebrow and stalked off.

***

'Got something!' Hoff stabbed a stubby finger on to his Hoff looked up at the sky and shook his head. 'That scanner unit. 'A source producing rapidly decaying dome's doing bad stuff with time.'

particles in negative time. Way beyond the technology

levels here.'

The aliens had taken up a place in a cluster of trees

above the town and were training a variety of scanning

'Could be an effect of the time shield?' August glanced at devices on the valley below.

the figures. 'Except - it's moving! Come on!'

'Oh?' August looked up for a moment. 'I thought you had The Aubertides ran downhill towards town, Serif the technology sorted out?'

pursuing them with broad strides in an attempt to catch

up.

'I thought so too.' Hoff shook his head again, and was

'So, what do we do now?' asked Alexander. silent.

Bernice was gritting her teeth as Bottomley hammered a

sharp metal tool into the fastening of her left manacle. 187

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'We find that boy with the Pod, and help out with his, gentle lemon hue. It had started to rain outside, and the admittedly so far rather successful, plan to hide it. How sound of raindrops formed a gentle patter on the roof. would he have got hold of the thing, anyway?'

The gaps between the beams were only plasterboard, so

the two lovers took care to step only on the wood.

'Well, the orchard where you say you left it is part of the Mouse-eaten cardboard boxes, orange crates and Marcham estate, old Mrs Marcham's place, but it's suitcases secured by belts were piled around the cool notoriously ill-tended. She doesn't get out much, and so stone arch of the walls.

her staff leave the fruit to rot. It's a huge area, and it

snakes right round the forest and the school, with all Smith squatted, lost his balance, waved his arms and sorts of secret places. The place is therefore beloved to was only saved from falling by Joan putting a hand on wasps and boys of Hulton College.'

his shoulder. 'Thank you,' he said. He started to untie

one of the suitcases.

'Where Dr Smith works. I see.'

'So what is it about this umbrella that so intrigues you?'

'And, of course, schoolboys love to get hold of mysterious Joan asked. 'I thought we might get on with the things.'

business of jam.'

'So I remember.' Benny triumphantly broke free of the

'It's just -' Smith opened the first suitcase and began to first manacle and waggled her hand to get the blood sort through the items he found there - 'I remember a circulating again. 'Your average fifth former's got his strange umbrella, but I don't. I know I had one, but I finger in more pies than Mr Kipling.'

don't remember carrying it... using it... getting it.'

The blacksmith glanced between the two manacled

'How strange. I do like this attic of yours, it reminds me figures propped up against his workshop wall. 'I'm of Christmas. A wonderful darkness and light at the astonished. You've met Rudyard Kipling?'

same time.' Joan sat on a packing case and looked

around primly. 'When I was a girl, we were the first Benny burst out laughing and used her free hand to pat people in our town to have a Christmas tree. My father the man on the shoulder. 'No,' she assured him. 'But I saw the big one in London that Prince Albert had know a man who has. Hopefully.'

brought over, and thought that it was a good idea. At

first, visitors would comment on how strange it was to Bottomley shrugged and continued his work. have a tree inside the house, but then they all started to

have them, so Father felt vindicated.'

Dr Smith had placed a ladder against the wall of the

'My father wasn't that sort of person.' Smith glared at a cottage and climbed up it, while Joan held it steady. He pair of juggling balls he'd pulled from the case, threw undid the catch on a hatch in the ceiling and opened it, them up in the air, tangled his arms and missed then climbed up into the loft. A moment later he called: catching them. 'He was in the Navy, a military man. He

'Come up here and see!'

went missing.'

'Did you ever discover what had become of him?' Unseen Joan gingerly climbed the ladder, and John helped her by Smith, Joan had taken the ring he'd given her from step out on to the beams of the little loft. He'd lit an oil the pocket of her cardigan, and was turning it over in lamp hanging on a hook, which gave the wooden space a her fingers.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'No!' He grabbed her hand. 'No, I'm uncertain about a lot

'No. Everybody thought that he was a traitor, but I don't of things, but that's the one thing I am sure of. It was think that's true.'

sudden, I know, but it's certain. It's the thing I'm

hanging on to.'

'My goodness. And what about Verity, your former

fianc&eacute;e?'

Joan released the breath she'd been holding. 'Well, then

I shall take you seriously, and you will have my answer.

'Former? Does that mean I have one now?'

For now, we shall take a look at that finger, and then

perhaps have a cup of cocoa.'

'Don't count your chickens.'

Smith stood up to embrace her. 'I was just thinking of

'I haven't seen her in years. Except... in a dream. She cocoa. You always seem to say just the right thing.'

married a teacher - or was it a soldier?'

Alexander and Benny were making their way through

'You told me it was a sailor.'

the streets of town, walking quickly and keeping a

lookout for the boy they'd seen. It was good to be free of

'Did I? Perhaps it was. I'm very confused.'

their metal burden. There was a general sense of tension

about the place this Saturday teatime. People were out

'You do seem to be a trifle perturbed, today. Why, for on their steps, looking at watches and talking to each instance, did you insist that we walk so swiftly away other excitedly over fences. In the market square, the from the end of the field? I nearly dropped my stallholders were packing up, but one or two of the carts blackberries, you rushed me so.'

seemed to have returned, and their occupants were

conducting hand-waving arguments with those that

'I just thought there might be a storm. Perhaps it's my remained. The gentle rain, the first onset of the storm finger.' He held up the wounded stump. He'd reached that was approaching, was making the pavements the bottom of the suitcase without success. 'Perhaps glisten.

this is all my finger. Septic, poisoned. Perhaps I'm losing

my mind.'

They passed the town telephone box, an ornate red Joan went to him and kissed the top of his head. 'Not at construction with a tiny pagodalike point on top. A man all. But you have been through a terrible adventure. in a neat tweed suit and bowler was stepping out of it Perhaps you've been a bit too brave. You haven't even and locking it behind him.

told the Head about it, yet.'

'I say, Horace!' Alexander ran over to him. 'What's going

'No, I suppose I haven't. Do you think I should take on?'

some time off?'

'Line's down,' Horace, whose job it was to sit in the box,

'Perhaps it would help you to think it through. And on make the connection for whoever wanted to make a call, that matter, John, while you are so churned up, should and then stand outside waiting for them to complete it, I take it that your proposal was merely speculative? I explained. 'If you want to call anyone, you could ask at should be glad to do so and await later confirmation.'

the school. At least I get to go home early.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

From somewhere in the distance, there came the crack

and boom of an explosion. Horace pricked his ears up. His father had never done that to him. He'd put him

'Hey-ho, the boiler's blown on the engine!'

across his knee and thrashed him with his belt often

enough, but he'd never delivered something so direct, so

'Couldn't it be the OTC at the school again?' Alexander tawdry.

asked.

And of course you could never tell a boy you were sorry,

'No, my old man used to be the fireman on a train. that you'd only been frightened of gunning him down. That's the sound of an engine going up. Hope no poor He'd wanted to express somehow that the boy's wildness soul was caught in that. See you at the meeting, eh, and difference were almost an invitation to others to do Alexander?'

that, that the way to get by was to square your back and

'Damn,' whispered Benny when he'd gone. 'You could join the line. Strong youngster like Dean should have cut the atmosphere here with a knife.' People were been with the others, behind the gun, not in the line of gathering in groups looking to the east, where a plume bloody fire. A better teacher, a better leader, could have of smoke was drifting from the direction of the branch told him that, could have impressed it upon him. You line. 'What's this meeting he was talking about, make a move out of line, boy, and they gun you down. anyway?'

And then he'd collapsed. He'd done that when he was at

'Oh, the Labour group meets on a Saturday night in the the opera once, with dear Cordelia. They'd been laughing town hall. I'm normally there.'

as they walked down the steps outside, and the next

thing he'd been rolling, down into the gutter under the

'Well, if you want to go - '

full moon. A dozen bright young lads had run to him

and got him to sit up, and he'd shied them away, scared Alexander sighed and took her by the arm as an old to the point of tears by the sudden pain in his abdomen. matron passed, flashing the woman a dangerous grin as

she glanced disapprovingly at such closeness, such That had gone after a few days. He'd got the first trousers, such a haircut. 'Richard's addressing them.'

symptom on Cordelia's behalf, he'd joked, because she

told him she was pregnant that next week. Maybe she

'Oh. Sorry.'

had thought she should tell him then, in case he didn't

make it. How ironic. He hadn't even seen her body,

'Think nothing of it, loved one. Now, shall we go back to despite bellowing at the intern that he'd seen men dead school?'

three deep on the Spion Kop, that a woman and a baby

were the only two dead he'd ever wanted to see. Rocastle sat stock still in his armchair, his hands

gripping the antimacassars. He'd hauled himself into the He should retire. He should -

chair after he'd passed out... and of course the child had

run away. Couldn't have been long unconscious or the His teeth set hard together.

boy would have fetched somebody. Or perhaps he'd been

too scared to call anyone.

What would be left to do then that was hard enough? If

he was still a military soul, he'd be like some bloody Rocastle had, after all, slapped him across the face. 193

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

German, finding insult in his fellow officers all the time,

'Eh? Well, no, I don't know what's become of my and demanding duels, just so-secretary since she took the day off to visit her parents

yesterday. Another tiny drama. Who are these visitors?'

There came a knock at the door.

'A man called Shuttleworth who runs the local museum, He opened his mouth, and found that all that was going and a woman by the name of Summerfield.'

to come out was an almighty sob.

'Shuttleworth... oh my God. All right, give me a moment

and then show them in.' He sat behind his desk and He slapped himself hard across the cheek. found some papers to play with.

The pain made him sit up. He opened his eyes and they A moment later, Alexander and Benny entered. were clear. He stood as the knock came again and

adjusted his tie in the mirror by his desk. 'Enter!'

Benny wasn't feeling very confident. She'd rolled up her

trouser bottoms and thrown on a skirt and blouse that The bursar, Mr Moffat, a young Scotsman with curly Alexander's sister had owned. She thought she looked hair and permanently perplexed eyes, entered. 'Excuse like a scarecrow. But Rocastle barely gave her a second me, Headmaster - '

glance. He rose as Alexander entered and shook his

'Ah, Mr Moffat, I've been meaning to have a word with hand warmly. 'Mr Shuttleworth, what can I do for you?'

you about Smith. You're both from north of the border.

What do you think of him?'

'Well, it's quite a delicate matter, actually.' Alexander

and Benny sat down in the comfortable chairs of the Moffat thought for a moment, surprised by the question. study, and Benny was surprised to find that hers was

'I wasn't aware that he was Scottish. He knows as much still warm. She studied Rocastle as he moved, this man about Aberdeen as the average Cockney, and seems to who the Doctor - who Smith - feared so much. His face have trouble with his accent. Altogether, it's a pretty was ruddy, like he'd just gone through some emotional poor performance.'

crisis, and, despite trying to look interested in what Alex

was saying, he eyes kept straying. Benny followed the

'Hmm. And these stories that I've been hearing from direction of his glance to a tiny cameo of a woman on the town, that a young teacher's romancing a barmaid?'

wall.

'Obviously it isn't me, I lodge in the east-wing

'So,' Alexander was saying, 'I found that, after this party apartments. You'd know if I was coming and going.'

of schoolboys had toured the museum, a certain item

was missing. A red pottery sphere, used for cooking by

'Very good. Was that all?'

the Iceni tribe. I'd left a display case open for cleaning

that afternoon, and there were no other customers, so I Moffat stared at him. 'Headmaster, I only came in reluctantly have to conclude...'

because there are two visitors to see you. I couldn't find

Miss Robertson. Have you given her the weekend off?'

'This sphere - valuable, was it?'

'Only to an archaeologist.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Right.' Rocastle thumped his big palm down on the something that happened, and if it did, why get in the table and got to his feet. Benny and Alexander did like way of a fact of life? It was because Joan had lost wise. 'I cannot have this happening. I shall call an someone, he decided. She didn't like to think of any of assembly instantly, and, if you would be so good as to the boys going the same way. But they were boys, and come with me, we shall discover the culprit.'

they dreamed of adventure and glory. Good for them.

'Well, there's no need to - ' Benny began. And what would he have done if she did stay? A sort of

vaguely defined soft thing that she knew more about

'There's every need,' Rocastle replied, rather curtly. than he did, and that wasn't right, was it? He'd had

'Can't have my boys' reputation suffering. Come along.'

trouble with kissing Verity. But if girls didn't do this He locked the door of the study behind them as they left, until they were married, and boys did it before, who did and took a moment to grab a passing first-year, who, the boys do it with? Mental note: ask the boys. after a few quick words, ran off in the direction of the big

golden bell that stood on a table in an alcove. He began There came a knock on the door. Smith opened it. There to ring it with all his strength.

stood a schoolboy. 'Tell me -' began Smith, and then

stopped. 'No. What?'

After a minute, bells began to sound from all over the

echoing old building. Rocastle stood at a slight distance

'Please, sir, Mr Rocastle sent me to get you, sir. He's from his visitors, listening to every one of them like he called a general assembly in half an hour.'

was following the libretto of a favourite opera.

'Has he? All right. Off you go. We'll... I'll be there.' The

'I think we've done the worst possible thing for him,'

boy ran off again. Smith glanced up. The sky was dark Benny whispered to Alexander. 'We've given him just with squalls and approaching stormclouds. what he needs.'

>

Joan wandered into the kitchen and plucked her Smith was wearing his apron, making salad sandwiches cardigan from the back of a chair. 'I heard. The man's for tea, rattling round the inside of a jar of mayonnaise insane. Shall I go first and you follow in a minute?'

with a knife to extract the last drop. Joan was inspecting

his bookcases in the front room. She'd re-bandaged his

'No.' Smith removed the apron, opened a cupboard and finger, which seemed to be healing nicely with no sign of absent-mindedly dropped an umbrella into the crook of infection, and they'd had two cups of cocoa each. his arm. 'We'll go together.'

Smith found himself wishing that he could ask her to Joan smiled. 'All right. I'll be brave if you are.' She saw stay the night. That was an outrageous thought, of the umbrella and gasped. 'John! Is that what you were course. Just expressing it as an idle fancy would looking for?'

probably make her drop him altogether and run from

the room. If she wasn't already scared off by his

'Hmm?' Smith glanced down at the object he was oddness. Mental note: stop being so odd. At least in carrying and bounced it off his elbow with his hand. 'My front of her. But he was starting to rely on her. And that goodness!' The umbrella had a garish red handle in the business about being a soldier or not... he didn't feel shape of a question mark, currently reversed in Smith's particularly positive about the military, but it was grip. Smith spun it round the right way and replaced it 197

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

on his arm. He gazed at Joan. 'Isn't it strange what you find when you're looking for something else?'

Ch

C apter rNi

N ne

The Fine Purple, the Purest Gold, the Red of the Sacred Heart, the Grey of a Ghost

A cluster of teachers, most of them trying not to appear annoyed, had formed in the little corridor outside the Great Hall. Bernice and Alexander stood at the back, watching over the teachers' shoulders as the hall filled with boys. There was an atmosphere of fear and anticipation in the air.

'Do you really think this is going to work?' asked Alexander.

'What, do I think one of them is going to hold up the sphere and say: "Oh, you mean this?" Not really. I thought the headmaster was going to conduct a search or something.' Benny glanced around the woodpanelled corridor and shivered. 'I can see why people have nightmares about going back to school. I went to a place very like this. Mixed, at least, though. This place is all floor polish and testosterone. Oh my God.'

Smith and Joan had arrived at the end of the corridor, Smith carrying a very familiar umbrella, but now 199

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

dressed in a teacher's cape and mortarboard. He saw

'Well, perhaps you could start now,' said Joan. 'John Bernice and wandered over. 'Hello. What are you doing was quite disturbed by the whole business.'

here?'

'What, erm, happened to your finger?' Alexander asked

'We're the reason for the assembly.' Bernice considered Smith.

mentioning why, but decided against it. 'And this is...?'

'A burglar chopped it off.' Smith waved the bandaged

'Oh, yes... this is my friend Joan Redfern.'

stub about happily.

Benny curtsied to the woman. 'I'm Bernice Summerfield From the hall, the general sounds of movement and this is my friend Alex.' She hoped that she hadn't suddenly cut off. Rocastle had taken the stage. The put too much emphasis on the my. The woman who teachers began to shuffle on. Smith and Joan nodded to stood beside Smith was surprisingly mature. Attractive, Benny and Alexander and followed them. in a horsey sort of way. Nothing special, really. If the

Doctor had to go and get involved with somebody, then it

'You know what I was saying about fingers, Alex?' Benny ought to have been a classic beauty or a great artist or murmured. 'Well, I'm willing to bet I know whose pie an academic. 'And what do you do, Miss Redfern?'

that one ended up in...'

'Mrs,' Joan told her, icily. 'I'm a teacher here. Did you

'What did you think of her?'

assume that I was the dinner lady?'

'She's fine.'

'Not at all. I've heard a lot about you. I meant what

subject do you teach?'

'Nice?'

'Science. I've heard a lot about you, also. Aren't you the

'Fine.'

young lady with the trousers?'

***

'Often. Don't you find these skirts a problem

sometimes?'

Timothy was walking through the orchard where he'd

found the Pod, tossing the thing from hand to hand. He

'Not at all. But then, I've never had call to do anything was seeing all sorts of strange things today, like those where they might get in the way.'

two people carrying slabs of metal like tortoises. He was

starting to think about sleep and warmth. His night on There was an awkward silence. Smith suddenly ruffled the tree had certainly changed him, but he still wanted Benny's hair, grinned and shrugged when Joan looked somewhere warm to spend the night. Could he go back at him. 'Are you still trying to find your Holy Grail?' he to the school dormitory? He had nothing to fear but asked. 'The one that'll turn me into a spaceman?'

words, after all, and he'd found out how he could deal

with that now. This Pod had done it, changed him to the Benny sighed. 'I'll explain all that to you one day.'

point where he was like Sherlock Holmes and Jack

Harkaway rolled into one. But what was he supposed to 201

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do now? Fight crime? Explore the world? Were there Tim stared at his pursuers from behind a pair of apple others like him?

trees. It was fortunate for him that the estate let the

orchard get so overgrown. These were his enemies, then. He noticed an owl sitting on a branch, looking balefully Something inside him suggested a dizzy idea, to get down at him. 'What would you do, Mr Owl?'

captured deliberately, but then he saw the curved knife

that one of them, a short, bearded man, was slapping The owl leapt from the branch in a flutter of wings. against a leather wrist-band, and repressed the urge. Timothy spun on his heel and saw a figure crouched

behind a tree trunk. Something made a noise like a Aphasia released her balloon. 'Hunt,' she told it. 'Kill. catapult.

Don't eat.'

He grabbed the Pod out of the air where he'd thrown it. The balloon rose into the centre of the clearing and A metal spar bounced off the tree behind him and spun hovered, spinning on its axis. 'We are so close,'

back in the direction it had come. Timothy ran, zigwhispered Serif. 'We cannot lose him now.'

zagging through the trees. Silent blue lightning struck

giddily around his heels, sending clods of earth flying.

***

A roaring figure burst from the bushes and sprinted Tim turned and started to walk slowly away, watching after Timothy, tearing through the branches as the boy over his shoulder as the balloon started to move across kept just ahead.

the clearing in his direction. The balloon sped up. Tim

sped up. It shot through the trees towards him faster Timothy glanced over his shoulder, and dived into a than a real balloon could push through the air. thicket.

He sprinted.

***

The family crashed through the trees after him. Greeneye had only lost sight of the boy for a moment

when he ran into the clearing. He looked around, Tim ran, heaving breaths into his lungs. That seemed astonished. No sign of him.

easier than it had been in the past, as if his body was on

his side, breathing just as he wanted it to. He kicked his The others were quick behind him. August stared at the heels and leapt randomly from side to side as he ran, scanner in his hand. 'I don't believe this! The emissions avoiding the silent blue beams that smashed foliage have ceased! The Pod knows we're after it, that's the only aside past him.

explanation!'

He ran to a fence and hurdled it, feeling the heat as it

'He's here,' Greeneye rumbled, looking slowly around the dissolved under him, disbelieving his luck. He was on clearing. 'He's hiding.'

the road now, the curving road which led up past the

school gates. Without thinking, he turned automatically

***

towards the school. The ground was open here, though;

they were going to be able to shoot him.

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A horseless carriage puttered around the bend, the

'He's a little trickster,' muttered Greeneye. 'Don't you occupant squeezing its horn to tell Tim to get out of the think he was moving a bit fast for a human? Don't you way. It was Mr Condon who owned the Lyons tea house, think - '

who would often let boys going into town have an extra

'He came from a school,' Hoff interrupted. He smiled at iced bun if they were well behaved.

Greeneye again. 'Not a cattery.'

***

Tim leapt up on to the running board of the car, much

'I have a very serious matter to report,' Rocastle began. to Condon's amazement. 'Hey, you nut! What are you up He was standing on the stage, his hands gripping the to?' called the moustachioed man.

edges of a wooden lectern. Behind him stood the

'Sir, it's a matter of life and death! You must get me teachers, listening in a line. At the side of the stage away, quickly!'

stood Benny and Alexander, looking nervously at the

audience of boys. 'This lady and gentleman are in charge Condon yanked up a gear and tightened his gloves on of the museum in town. They tell me that a theft has the wheel. 'When you say life and death, young man, I occurred, and it seems that it can only be a Hulton take it you do mean that, and not just a late essay or College boy who is responsible. The article stolen is of no some such?'

value, being a pottery sphere found by archaeologists. I

have been assured that the museum does not wish to

'I do, sir.' Tim glanced over the rear seat of the vehicle pursue the matter via the police. If the boy who took this and saw the roaring man running out on to the road, sphere comes forward now, he will not be expelled, nor obscured in a second by the bend. 'I do.'

his parents informed. He will receive six strokes of the

cane, and the matter forgotten. I think that's a fair offer

***

that any honest Christian boy would accept, and I hope

that you're not going to let the school down in front of Greeneye slapped his thigh. 'A...' he searched his our guests.' He gestured to Bernice and Alexander. 'Well memory for the term... car! Come on, let's get after them, then - who's got it?'

we can catch up if we try.'

There was silence. Rocastle clicked his tongue against

'Don't trouble yourself,' said August. 'He was wearing a his teeth. 'Very well, one last chance for all of you. Either uniform, that of an educational establishment, and I do the thief comes forward now, or he damns his fellows believe -' He clicked a few buttons on his scanner. 'Yes, with him.' Silence again. 'Then it is my sad duty to the map shows a suitable building near by. He doesn't inform you all that the town is out of bounds for the know why we're after him. He'll go back there.'

next month, or until the thief confesses. Now - '

'Good,' hissed Serif. 'If he does not think that he is

followed, he will not hide the Pod.'

There came a shattering explosion from outside the

building.

'My God,' Bernice whispered. 'They're here.' She glanced at Smith, who was looking around at his fellow teachers 205

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

in panic as the boys started to yell and run. 'Who's going to save us this time?'

***

The family stood in the courtyard of the school buildings. Hoff lowered his gun, nodding proudly at the remains of a statue that he'd atomised. The others stood in a line, watching the windows, weapons held at the ready. Even Aphasia had a gun, a big showy photon rifle that she'd painted orange with black spots, her balloon tied around the end of the muzzle.

August put a black conelike device to his lips. His voice was amplified and projected by the equipment, winding its way into the school, echoing through every room and gallery. 'Listen to me. My name is August of the Aubertide family Dubraxine. One of the young humans

in that building has something we want, a red sphere

known as a Biodatapod. You will send it out to us, and Aphasia aimed her gun at the roof of the school and we will leave with it. If you do not, then we'll level the fired. The recoil sent her flying backwards. building and kill everybody. We're watching every exit.'

He put his hand over the mouthpiece for a moment and Concerned, August helped her up, glancing over his looked at the others meaningfully. 'I said, we're watching shoulder at the plume of smoke spiralling from the every exit... '

guttering above. 'Sniper?'

'Sorry.' Greeneye, Hoff and Serif ran off in different

'Gargoyle.' Aphasia explained. 'I hate gargoyles.'

directions around the perimeter of the house. August

sighed and spoke into the cone again. 'You have thirty of

***

your Earth minutes.' He switched off the machine and

smiled at Aphasia. 'I've always wanted to say that.'

Timothy was watching from a tree in the orchard. He

closed his eyes hard as if to banish a dream. So his magical prize wasn't something destiny had given him. It was something mean enough to be struggled over. The people in the courtyard, the Aubertides, natives of the planet Aubis. The Aubertide Queen lays eggs every hundred years, and the King fertilizes them in the ground. The new Aubertides bud to reproduce. You have to find out who's the eldest and talk to them. They like citrus fruit, but they can eat anything, and they're usually terribly friendly. Timothy blinked again, it was 207

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

as if he'd just made up all that about them. The people Rather nervously, the bursar tied his handkerchief to in the courtyard were going to destroy the school. the end of the cane. He walked through the rows of

children to the end of the hall, where a triptych of large Let them. Let it burn. What he had was worth much panel windows looked out on the grounds. He opened more.

the latch on one of them and poked the cane out

nervously.

No, that was a wicked thought. The lives of all his - no,

not his friends, his enemies. The lives of his enemies

'Damn

soft

tactics,'

Hutchinson

whispered

to

were worth more than his happiness.

Merryweather. 'Who are they, anyway? Where are the

police?'

He gathered all his resolve together. He had to do

something.

'Hello,' called Mr Moffat, nervously. He waved the cane

gently back and forth, the handkerchief flapping. He was At the appropriate moment, that inner voice told him. standing a good distance from the window. 'We don't Timing was everything.

know what you're talking about. But Mr Rocastle wants

to meet with you. We can work something out.'

Rocastle shouted again. 'Silence!'

'Until the police get here, anyhow,' Rocastle murmured The yelling mass of boys and teachers actually to Alexander. 'This thing they're after; it isn't the artefact quietened. Rocastle had raised himself to his full height you're missing, by any - '

and he was actually looking at them proudly, with a

slight smile on his features. 'Very good. Now, does There came a sound from the window. The cane and anybody know what that was all about?'

handkerchief had spread across the room in a wash of

red light. The bursar was staggering backwards, Silence. Benny looked quickly at Smith and was about clutching his chest. He was shouting at something that to say something, but by the time she'd thought of had fixed itself there, a blazing red spot that he was anything that Rocastle would find even remotely scrabbling at like it was a stinging insect. reasonable, he'd turned to one of the other masters.

'Thought not. Mr Moffat, you always have a fine white With a great cry, he managed to catch it and threw it at handkerchief about you. Here - ' He picked up the cane the window. The spot exploded, and the glass shattered he'd propped on the lectern and handed it to the into a billion pieces, the window exploding outwards in a teacher. 'Wave it from the window, and tell these... sonic boom.

Aubertides... Greeks, I think, that we don't know what

they're talking about, but if they're willing, I'll pop out The boys fell to the ground, covering their heads with and have a chat and we can sort it out. All right?'

their hands. The bursar staggered back to them, his

palms bleeding.

Benny turned to Alexander. 'That's just what I'd have

done,' she whispered. 'Rocastle's not as stupid as he

'Doctor...' hissed Bernice, her hands curling into fists. looks.'

Smith was shooing Joan back behind the curtains of the

stage, his expression full of panic and confusion.

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Rocastle was staring at the stormy light that was

'Who!' Benny growled, and grabbed him by the collar, flooding through the windows, the first strikes of yanking him off behind the curtains at the back of the lightning making their way across the distant fields. A stage. 'That's the question. Come here, git!' He vanished slight smile seemed to force its way on to his face, but as Rocastle turned to look for him, the boys of Farrar then he clenched it down and his eyes shone with a house clustering around the Head.

determined certainty. 'Farrar, Wolvercote, Trelawny,

away from the windows!' he shouted. 'Captain Alexander realized that they were all looking at him and Merryweather, run to my office, call the police! Mrs shrugged. 'I think he just... popped out for a moment.'

Redfern, tend to the bursar! Boys, find your house

master, and in those units, follow me.' He pulled a set of

***

keys from his pocket. 'We're going to break out the arms

and make a show of it until help arrives!'

August slapped down the end of Aphasia's gun. 'What

was that about? That was a human, not a gargoyle!'

'Doctor...' Bernice tried to catch Smith's eye as he stared

'He was showing me his handkerchief.'

at Rocastle in disbelief.

'He was holding out a white flag, a sign of surrender

'Other teachers are to check that doors are locked, board amongst human colonists. You shooting him'll make up windows and otherwise provide for a state of siege.'

them a bit tardier in sending out the Pod, don't you He spun back and called to the boys. 'Get up! Buck up think? Well, don't you?'

and play the game!' The boys were getting to their feet,

the Captains running round their forms, pulling the

'Yeah...' Aphasia scuffed her shoes on the gravel. younger ones to their feet and slapping them on the

back. 'We're going to show them that Hulton College

'Just don't do it again.'

boys are made of old English stuff! The stuff that built

the Empire, the stuff that doesn't back down to threats

***

and bullying! Who's with me?'

Smith and Bernice stumbled through a door that led to A great cheer came from the boys, who ran to cluster a theatrical storeroom behind the stage, the little teacher around their form masters, the Captains saluting trying to wrestle out of Bernice's grasp. 'What are you quickly to Rocastle as they snapped to attention. doing?' he shouted. 'I have to get my House in order!'

'Right!' Rocastle called, his stare fixing on the masses of

'I'll say!' Benny slammed the door and advanced on him, cheering children before him. 'Let's break out the prodding him in the chest. 'Gallifrey! The Hoothi! Ace!

weapons and fight!'

Come on!'

'Doctor!' Bernice shouted.

'I don't know what you're talking about!'

He turned, annoyed, from staring after Joan where she'd

'You're the only person who can turn this situation gone to aid the bursar. 'What?'

around. You! The Doctor!'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Why do you keep using my title?' Smith spread his Benny emerged from behind the curtains when the hall hands in frustration. 'Why do you think I'm somebody was nearly deserted, and made her way to Alexander, I'm not?'

who was standing in the centre of the stage, watching as

a group of boys piled boxes by the shattered windows. A

'Because you're the Doctor, a Time Lord, somebody not cold breeze was blowing about the polished room. of this planet. You created John Smith, like a character Alexander glanced at his watch. 'Ten minutes. In twenty in a book. Here, look at this!' He'd half turned away in minutes' time, they'll start flattening this place. Is there disbelief as she fumbled for the history unit and thrust nothing we can do?'

it into his hands. 'This is technology beyond this time

period, right? And what about that umbrella, where did Bernice lay her head on his shoulder for a moment. 'I you find that?'

don't think so. They're getting ready for a battle. The

Doctor won't listen to me. Unless we can find the Pod Smith glanced at the unit and shook his head. 'Very and use it on him before all this starts, then I don't impressive, very advanced, but what does it prove?

think we have a prayer.'

Bernice, you're my niece, my brother's daughter. I

remember him, I remember his wedding, I remember

'So what do we do?'

hearing about you being born! Where is there room for

all this - Oh, why am I listening to you!' He waved his

'Go and be with him, I suppose.' Benny straightened up. arms and pushed her aside, heading back for the stage.

'At least I can get that bit right this time.'

'Pull yourself together,' he told her, before hopping out of

the door.

The dorm was a bustle of activity, boys running to and

'Damn.' Benny slumped against the wall. fro with heavy sandbags. The window at the end of the

room had been opened and a bed propped against it.

***

Smith was supervising the construction of fortifications.

Smith emerged into the middle of the boys of Farrar Rocastle walked in, three boys behind him carrying a House and found himself bombarded with questions. series of crates. 'It's good to see you're with us, Smith. I

'Quiet!' he called. 'We'll go up to the dormitory and set thought you'd come through at the end. I just heard up the fire sandbags around the windows there.'

from Merryweather that the telephone line is down.

Johnny Foreigner's been spotted all around the school

'Do we get guns, sir?' asked Hutchinson eagerly. perimeter, but he isn't trying to get in. There's only

'Yes, I suppose so.' Smith glanced around the hall. Amid about six of them, and they're only carrying small arms the masses of boys heading for the exits he glimpsed by the look of it. All the doors have been barricaded. It's Joan, helping the bursar walk. She noticed his concern up to us to hold them off until the police hear the racket and returned a smile. 'Come on then,' Smith told the and come to investigate.' He moved closer to Smith and boys. 'Let's see how brave we can be.'

whispered, 'Actually, I reckon we can do better than hold

'em off. If these are the buggers who set off the poison

***

gas at the hospital, then we're quite justified in putting

some lead through them. Which is why,' - he indicated the crates that were being unpacked in the aisle between 213

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

the beds - 'I brought the Vickers gun up here. Good As the three of them reached the door of the dormitory, height and angle above the drive. Phipps can take it on; there came an ear splitting blast of noise from inside. he got to see how it works at close range at practice.'

Alexander threw the door open. Phipps was sitting Phipps looked up from the barricade he was helping to astride the Vickers gun, his teeth clenched together as erect and gave a proud salute, despite the momentary he fired a withering blast. The weapon had been fear that had gripped him. 'Reporting for duty, sir!'

assembled atop one of the beds beside the window.

Smith was standing beside it, the ammunition belt in his

'Good lad,' Rocastle beamed. The other boys were taking hands, his eyes closed. He seemed to be counting or rifles from the boxes, swinging them excitedly over their reciting to himself, cut off from what was happening shoulders. 'Any questions, Smith?'

around him. The other boys were standing around, Smith's glance had settled briefly on his umbrella, which gazing at Phipps with a kind of holy awe, their rifles he'd propped in the comer by the door, but now his unslung, ready to take up firing positions. attention returned to the Head. 'No,' he decided. 'None at

all.'

'Test firing completed!' Phipps reported, sitting back on

his haunches. 'Saw a couple of them out there, sir, but

***

they ran off when we got the Vickers going!'

Benny and Alexander asked directions from one of the

'That's... the idea.' Smith opened his eyes again, and boys as he scurried past them, and found the right way frowned as he saw the new arrivals. 'Joan, I mean, Mrs to the dorm, climbing a spiral staircase. On the landing Redfern. What are you doing here?'

they met Joan, also on her way up.

'I'm here with my medical kit,' she said, sitting down

'Mrs Redfern.' Benny stopped her. 'Joan. Can't you do determinedly on one of the beds. 'In case anybody gets something to stop all this? The Doc - John - doesn't injured.'

want to get involved in a battle, does he?'

'Oh, that's bad form,' whispered Hutchinson to

'There's not going to be a battle,' Joan told her. 'Those Merryweather. He'd been pacing the room angrily ever outside will either realize that they cannot enter, or will since Phipps had been chosen to man the gun. 'Women encounter the police.' Benny was about to say something on the front line, and talking about injuries!'

else, but she interrupted her. 'Believe me, Miss

Summerfield, I'm not happy about this either. I lost

'And why are you here?' Smith walked up to Bernice and somebody dear to this sort of idiocy.'

Alexander and then turned away again, with the air of

somebody discovered in a misdeed. 'To tell me more fairy

'Both of us.' Benny put a hand on her arm. tales? To try and stop me doing my duty? Well, it's

impossible! I wish you'd all just let me do what I have to Joan sized her up for a moment. 'Then come on,' she do, be who I have to be!'

said. 'Let's see if our counsel may avert disaster.'

'I wouldn't dream of interfering,' Bernice told him. 'You

and the boys can get on with your war. We'll just sit here quietly and watch.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

blundering mass of organs, knowing that you were going

'One minute,' Alexander whispered to her. to die, able to talk about the when and how of it.

***

But this was a battle, this was a whole system that

swayed and changed on who died, not how. He Outside the building, Greeneye and Hoff sheltered remembered the books, the songs, the spectacles. Death behind a line of bushes in alabaster pots. was at the back of all the poetry, the muse that made it

all so tragic and brave.

'That was some sort of projectile weapon!' Greeneye was

muttering. 'And this is a school? For cruk's sake, Hoff, The rhythm of the gunfire blocked out everything else, when are you going to listen to me?'

and Smith gazed around the room as if it were silent and

still. Joan, with her hands clasped over her ears, but her

'I do not,' Hoff told him, 'believe that there are eyes still fixed upon him with a determined protest. interventionists at work here. However, I do object to Bernice, her anguish much more evident, huddling in being shot at.' He pressed a button on his cuff. 'Let's see the corner with Alexander. Anand was shaking his head. what August has to say about it.'

Only Hutchinson was enjoying the spectacle, his smile

growing wider and wider as he aimed through the August listened intently to the communication, and then window along the barrel of his rifle.

looked at his watch. 'Wait until the deadline expires. If

one of these humans doesn't come to a window and start The burst finished. Silence crashed back in on the room. talking about the Pod in thirty seconds, then you can Phipps turned to seek the approval of his teacher. 'I retaliate.'

think that'll give them something to - '

'What's retaliate?' asked Aphasia.

He stopped, looking puzzled. He slapped at something

on his neck and twisted his head.

'It means,' August cut the link and flicked the safety

catch of his gun off, 'kill most of the enemy and let the A tiny metal sphere was imbedded in the back of his survivors apologize.'

scalp. The boy turned back to Smith. 'What is it, sir?'

***

Smith stared.

'Time,' Alexander whispered.

'I don't - ' Phipps' face turned red. His lip started to

vibrate, as if he was going to burst out crying. 'I'm sorry

'Fire that gun thing some more,' Smith told Phipps,

- ' he blurted out.

almost embarrassed. 'Make sure they stay ducked.'

And then his head exploded.

'Yes, sir.' Phipps squeezed off another burst, Smith

letting the oily belt of shells pass through his hands into The blood slapped Smith straight in the face, covering the body of the gun. There were square bullets in with his chest and hands, a fine spray filling the whole room. the round-nosed ones. Those were the ones that tore

and splashed, that shattered inside so you became a 217

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

The boys yelled and screamed, falling to the ground. Smith was fumbling with the fingers of the corpse, Smith stumbled forward, blinded by the liquid, trying to pulling them roughly from the trigger of the gun. The find Phipps' body.

meaty thing fell aside, washing him in more red as it

went. He pulled the gun up to his chest and rubbed a

red line from his eyes with his sleeve, trying to see Joan was screaming for John, and Arthur, and trying through the window. Trying to see the enemy. frantically to get up over the mass of boys trying to hide.

There they were, two of them, down there. The ones Benny had pulled Alexander down and thrown herself who'd killed the boy. His fingers tightened on the trigger. on top of him. 'Don't look!' she was shouting. She looked There was no need to think.

up. 'Doctor!'

But he did think.

Smith grabbed for the headless body and clutched it to

him, his fingers finding the remains of the neck and the He thought about Puff the Magic Dragon, who lived by perfect hands as he tried to blink away the blood from the sea. He thought about Verity, whispering words in his eyes.

his ear on the shingle beach. He couldn't hear the words

yet, they were mingled with the sound of the waves on He thought he could hear distant laughter ringing the shore, wearing the pebbles down to sand. through the sound of the gun in his ears.

And then Benny was at one shoulder and Joan at the Everything he could see was red.

other.

A vision was swimming before him in the red, a cat

'John,' said Joan.

pinned out on a slab.

'Doctor,' said Benny, and swung his umbrella into the He was making sounds himself, he realized, as he line of his bloody vision, offering it to him. The question rocked the body to and fro, the head still fountaining the mark framed the two men down below.

red stuff. Noises came from the back of his throat

without calling, and names. Names that he didn't Smith stared at it for a moment, a terrible pain creasing recognise.

his face. He had to drop his gaze from the question the

umbrella asked. Looking down, he found that he was Benny had clambered to her feet, and threw herself looking at the poppy in his buttonhole, a lighter shade across the beds, scrambling to make her way through amongst the red all around. A single flower. the screaming children to the Doctor. She grabbed the

handle of the umbrella as she went without thinking, Unsteadily, he let one hand drop from the gun and perhaps just after a totem, a reminder. grabbed at the poppy, held it gently in his fist as if it

contained the answer.

Joan tripped and faltered across the red sprayed room

also. 'John!' she called. 'John!'

'I'm not him, not the Doctor,' he told Benny. 'But he's

real. I know he's real. He wouldn't kill them, would he?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'No,' Benny told him. 'He wouldn't.'

'Even though they took first blood. Even though the war had already started?'

'No,' Joan told him, with a glance at Benny. 'You wouldn't.'

Smith nodded. He let go of the gun and grabbed the

poppy with both hands, staring at it like it was the most important thing in the world. 'So what would the Doctor do?' he asked Benny.

Ch

C apter rT

en

e

'He'd find a way to turn this around,' Bernice told him, What's Bigger on the Inside than on the the words spilling out of her like this was the most certain thing she'd ever said in her life. 'He'd make the villains fall into their own traps, and trick the monsters, Outside?

and outwit the men with guns. He'd save everybody's life and find a way to win.'

Smith made a decision. His hands enfolded the flower. Major Wrightson was sitting in the front of the van,

trying to compose a cable to HQ as the rain lashed He snatched for his umbrella, spun round, and stood down, visibly bouncing off the dome over the town. His up, a frown of terrible concentration on his face. 'There's own feeling about the barrier was that it was somehow another way,' he told the boys. He dropped his hat and divine rather than the work of the enemy, but he let the cape fall to the floor. 'Throw away your guns.'

couldn't put that down. He had already called for

reinforcements, without much idea of what they were to reinforce. All he really wanted was a general to come down here, see the barrier and make it into his problem. His men had been turning away civilians all day, and now it was approaching dusk. Tomorrow, they'd probably have the press to deal with. From inside the barrier, around teatime, had come the noise of machinegun fire. That had dismayed the men. Machine-guns were the ultimate taboo for the private soldier, and the thought that they might be being used in there on civilians... Wrightson had walked round the barrier in the last hour, having a word with all the sentries shivering in their oilskins.

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There was still, of course, the matter of composing a his satchel and produced one of the newly printed red letter about Torrence.

pamphlets.

A new figure appeared on the darkening road, a bicyclist Wrightson smiled at it. 'The Ten Commandments Of in a long mac. He hopped off as Wrightson looked up, Socialism? Won't please the clergy, will it?'

and wandered over to the van. He had a centre-parting

and a grin that had been utterly unperturbed by the

'The opiate of the masses, according to Marx.' Hadleman rain.

smiled, but, seeing Wrightson's frown, he became

serious. 'Anyway, I'm not here to win votes. If you can't

'What's going on, Major?'

tell me what's going on, can you at least tell me when

it'll stop?'

Wrightson was pleased that somebody had recognized

his rank. 'The area's been sealed off, sir. Nobody in or

'I'm afraid not. Out of my hands, rather.'

out, I'm afraid.'

'Sure. Tell you what, if you chaps would like it, I can

'But I live in Farringham. I'd just cycled over to see my have my aunt send over a pot of stew and some whisky.'

aunt in Shellhampton. Not only that, I'm due to address Wrightson nodded. 'Thanks, but hold the whisky.'

a meeting in town tonight.'

'Oh, so it's that sort of - '

'Sorry, you'd best make provisions to stay somewhere From the town, there came the sound of an explosion. else

for

the

night.

How

are

you

fixed

for

Wrightson leaned out of the van window and called to accommodation?'

the soldier standing by the barrier to his left. 'Position

and weapon!'

'That's all right, I can just go back to my auntie. You

can't tell me what this is all about, I suppose?'

'Position and weapon!' called the soldier to his comrade

near by.

Wrightson shook his head. He hadn't been able to think

of a story that wouldn't cause a mass panic. 'What's this Hadleman listened as the call was repeated into the meeting of yours, anyway?'

distance. 'That wasn't a shell or a grenade.'

'Labour group. I'm Richard Hadleman, hopefully the

'No,' Wrightson muttered, and then turned to Hadleman next MP for this town. Hello.' Hadleman shook in surprise. 'How did you - '

Wrightson's hand.

'My friend Constance has an interest in the military.

'You'll have some hope, won't you? No cotton mills in What the hell's going on in there, Major? Have you there.'

engaged an enemy?'

'Plenty of underpaid farm-hands and shop boys, though.

'No, I wish I bloody - sorry, I wish I had.'

Here, have one of our leaflets.' Hadleman reached into

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'I'll leave you to it, then.' Hadleman started back up the

road, hopping on to his bicycle.

'Maius Intra Qua Extra?' Joan laughed. 'You mean you

really didn't know what the school motto meant?'

Wrightson instantly caught the falseness of the

comment. 'Don't do anything rash! There's - ' But

'No,' Smith mumbled, 'it's in a foreign language, isn't it?'

Hadleman was already out of sight. Wrightson sighed.

He wasn't sure what kind of lie he could tell about the

'Bigger on the inside than the outside!' Hutchinson barrier anyway.

snapped. 'It's about books. Now, don't you think we

should - '

'Excuse me, sir,' the soldier by the barrier to his right

called. 'Do you really want to know the position of There came a vast explosion from one of the floors Rippon?'

above. The boys all fell to the ground. Smith remained

standing, tapping his teeth with the umbrella handle.

'Yes. I see. How long's the school been in this building?

Smith led his class quickly through the corridors of the Twenty years?'

school to the library. 'But this is mutiny, deserting our

post!' Hutchinson was protesting. He was the only one

'Yes,' Joan picked herself up and took his arm. who still carried his rifle. The rest had been left piled in

'Eighteen, to be exact.'

a comer of the dormitory.

'Then how old's that inscription?'

'Quiet!' Smith growled. 'I'm trying to save our lives.

Bernice, the Doctor, how does he do what he does?'

Somewhat self-consciously, Benny took his other arm.

'Older. The arch is needed to support the ceiling here,

'It's hard to say. It's rather like judo, or Reversi. The and you can tell the carving's not been added later, opposition usually thinks they've won, and then he because it extends further out than the edges of the makes them see the situation in a different way, and it arch. That was planned from the start.'

turns out he has.'

'So the motto was originally that of the building.

'Hmm. Tricky.'

Rocastle took it on. Is it a family motto?'

'John,' Joan began nervously. 'You aren't labouring

'No coat of arms,' Alexander said.

under the delusion that you really are this Doctor, are

you?'

'It would be Rocastle all over to see it there and

appropriate it,' Joan added.

'Of course not!' Smith held up his hand, and the troupe

of boys halted in front of the library. From all over the

'And, being over a library, it is, as I said, about books!'

school, the sound of small-arms fire could be heard. 'It's Something inside Hutchinson snapped. He pulled back just a useful mental model. Now, something I've been the bolt on his rifle and swung it to cover Smith. 'Take wondering since I got here.' He gestured with his us back to our post, you're guilty of mutiny.'

umbrella at an elaborately carved panel above the

library door. 'What did you say that meant?'

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Smith took a step forward, so that the muzzle of the rifle Joan stared at her. 'Why - it's a joke...'

was pressed up against his chest. He held up a hand to

stop Benny from making any sudden move on

'Is it?'

Hutchinson.

'Stop, stop, I need you both to think!' Smith put a hand The other boys stared at the two of them. atop each woman's head and turned them to face the

inscription, flashing Alexander a mixture of grin and

'If you don't return to your post, then I'll be forced -'

shrug. 'I think that's a joke. An architectural one. Let's

go inside and see if it's true.' He shooed the boys into the

'Forced?' Smith's tone was quite mild. 'To do what?'

library. 'The walls are marble, too. Very hard. Very

sturdy.'

'To...' Hutchinson looked desperately around the other

boys, looking for any sign of support. But all he saw

'Doctor,' Benny began.

were tired, frightened, sometimes tear-stained faces.

Even Merryweather was slowly shaking his head, as if Smith glanced at the look on Joan's face. 'Call me John. advising Hutchinson that this was a bad move. 'To You know, I think that being covered in all that blood report you to the Head!'

did something strange to me. I saw a dead cat. Is that

normal?'

'Really? Oh.' Smith turned away from the gun and

started examining the inscription again. 'Off you go,

'You had a cat. Chick. It died in a very bad way.'

then.'

'Chick...'

Smith

whispered.

'The

name

means

Hutchinson looked round his classmates. 'Well, which of something... something far away. And Gallifrey, you've you lads are coming with me?' There was a general mentioned that twice to me. I used it in one of my turning away. Not one of the boys responded to stories. I thought I'd made it up until I remembered - '

Hutchinson's eager stare. 'Come on! There's adventure

happening! A scrap! What sort of boys are you?'

'John,' Joan touched his face with her hand, and wiped

another tiny patch of blood away, 'you're frightening me.

'Living ones,' Anand told him.

Are you in shock?'

'I'm not sure. It's working though. Don't worry. I love

'All right!' Hutchinson snarled. 'If you prefer cowardice you.' The last of the boys had been ushered into the over honour!' And he ran off.

library, missing his whisper by a second. Now he

shouted to them, 'I want everybody to start combing the

'Isn't it odd,' opined Alexander, 'how close masculinity is walls. Call if you see anything unusual.'

to melodrama?'

Joan was smiling at him. 'I love you, also.'

'Only in an Irish dictionary,' said Joan.

Benny took Alexander by the tie and dragged him away,

'Why an Irish one?' asked Benny.

her fists clenched. 'That woman!'

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'I think it's wonderful, loved one. Just because you and I school came the noise of the others using their heavy have both lost our sweethearts, don't let's get bitter, eh?'

weapons.

'I am not bitter.' They began to search the bookshelves. The corner masonry dissolved, and Serif walked into a

'It's just so obviously going to end in tears. When the kitchen area, through the remains of what had once Doctor regains his senses, is he going to be pleased to been a stove, kicking aside the melting metal doors. Any find that he's going out with a wrinkly racist? I think staff had long since departed. This would make a good not. Hey, wait a minute, did you say that you'd lost your place to begin the search.

sweetheart?'

***

Alexander froze. 'Oh, that was a long time ago...'

Greeneye and Hoff were exchanging fire with a group of The library had an ornate plaster ceiling, which Smith boys with rifles on a balcony outside Rocastle's quarters, stared up at, pointing his umbrella upwards and ducking in and out of a row of ornamental topiary. extending it at intervals in various directions, as if

calculating. The only windows were a series of high

'Fun, isn't it?' Greeneye grinned.

panels to let in light. As she calmed down, Benny

realized that she did, indeed, feel safer here. A number

'If you like that sort of thing.' Hoff clicked a button on of small explosions were being heard at intervals his cuff. 'I'm getting tired of it, though.'

throughout the school, hard to discern from the thunder

outside. The boys were starting to look very stressed He stepped out in the full view of the boys, and indeed, their little faces pinched up and their shoulders staggered back as a salvo of bullets bounced off the hunched. No wonder they hadn't gone with Hutchinson. forcefield he'd erected in front of his chest. 'Good shot!'

Rocastle had hugely overestimated their interest in he called. 'My turn!'

warfare. They desperately wanted to be rescued.

He aimed his gun vaguely in the direction of the balcony Despite some bad life decisions he might have made, she and squeezed the trigger. A heavy shell spiralled out of felt a surge of pride as she looked at the little man in the the weapon and landed in the centre of the kneeling middle of the room. He was going to do that. He was boys. Some of them stood up in alarm.

going to save the day, again.

The shell exploded and the balcony tumbled from the Then she caught sight of the look on Joan's face. She front of the building, a fiery mass of screaming, charring was also staring at Smith, unaware that she was being bodies. It landed with a crash, leaving a gaping hole in watched, and, caught unawares like that, she was the masonry above it.

terribly afraid.

'Now,' Hoff turned to Greeneye as the latter emerged Perhaps sometimes you couldn't save everybody. from cover, 'that's my idea of fun.'

Serif was walking through the corner of the building,

***

using a molecular redistributor to melt away the

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Anand was tapping along a section of wall in the library.

***

He was worried about his friend. Tim had been missing

ever since he'd been summoned to the Head's office. In Smith's party were running down a narrow brick-lined all this trouble, he hadn't been able to ask about him. passageway. Smith himself hung back for a moment,

noting that Captain Merryweather was always glancing While he was thinking, his hand encountered a soft spot behind him, biting his lip in panic, and tripping over his on the spine of a book. It was one of a whole panel of feet.

fake spines, a Victorian decorative device long-beloved of

captains who would tell their bugs to go and fetch a Smith drew level with him. 'What's wrong?'

particular non-existent title. The spine in question was

that of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and the soft

'They'll come after us. They've got all those guns. They'll spot was circular, and halfway up the binding. Anand kill us.'

pressed it.

'But we're cleverer than they are.'

Something made a clunk and then a grind, and the

whole panel of books swung open.

'That doesn't matter. That never matters. It's who's got

the most guns that matters!'

The boys cheered and the adults ran over to peer down a

flight of dank little stone steps. 'Open sesame,' said

'Trust me,' Smith murmured. 'I won't let you come to Anand.

any harm. I promise.'

Serif shot three boys who ran across the end of the Merryweather looked up at him uncertainly. 'Can you corridor he was stalking down, and turned the corner a promise that?'

moment later.

'Of course. You boys may know me as mild-mannered He was in the central hallway where the bursar's office John Smith, history teacher, but secretly I'm the Doctor, met the foot of the great stairways.

universal righter of wrongs and protector of cats.'

A group of boys looked up from the sandbags they had

'Are you?'

piled against the great doors, which were secured with

heavy bolts. They turned, swinging round their rifles

'So I'm told.' Smith smiled at Bernice as she hung back awkwardly.

from the gentle jog to join him. 'How are you?'

Serif mowed them all down in a blaze of silent blue light.

'I'm fine, I was wondering about you. You've changed He broke step only to swing the bodies and the bags your mind.'

away from the doors, which he unbolted and swung

open.

'So you say.'

'Come on,' he called to August and Aphasia. 'I'm sure I

'No, I mean that you've started to act like yourself again.'

haven't killed the right boy yet.'

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'I just got fed up. This is all play-acting. I'm terrified. sometimes gets his snaps out and goes all moody, but I And mad. Like I'm too mixed up to care who I am. Who suspect that's more a sort of paternal bit. In short, no, I is this Doctor, then?'

don't think he normally does that kind of thing.'

'A man from another planet who travels through time

'I see, two hearts but no love. Well, that makes our plan and space having adventures. He has two hearts.'

easier. One, we get everybody to safety, and that

includes going back for the other boys. Two, we find the

boy who's got this Pod. And three - '

'I only have one.'

'You put it to your forehead, become the Doctor again

'That's because of the Pod. When we find it, you put it and kick some alien bottom?' Bernice asked hopefully. back to your forehead and you become you again. You

grow your other heart back. Or so I assume.'

'Ah, no. We give it to them and they go away.'

'So why do the villains want it?'

Benny stared at him. 'I think it's becoming one of those

days.'

'They want to be like you.'

***

'Let me ask you a question. Merryweather, cover your

ears, I'm in love with one of your teachers.'

Rocastle stood in the middle of the canteen, his pistol

out and ready. The boys of 5B were clustered around Merryweather blinked and did so. 'That's all right, sir, so him in a nest of sandbags. The explosions that they'd am I.'

heard earlier seemed to have stopped, as had,

worryingly, the Vickers gunfire. Quite a few of the boys

'Ah, wait, before you ask me the question, look at this.'

who'd been sent out as scouts hadn't returned. Probably Benny pulled the list of Things Not To Let Me Do from run away and hid; there was no indication that the her jacket and showed it to Smith. At the bottom of the defences had been breached. On a real battlefield, they'd list, she'd added, in hastily scrawled biro, 'Don't let me have had the luxury of maps and hills to view it from, fall in love.'

but here things would just have to be worked out as

they happened.

'Interesting. My handwriting changes. Ah well, too late

on that last point. The question is if in my original state

I've got two hearts and two brains - '

The only OTC unit to have had actual combat

experience. Damn it. The doors at the end of the canteen

'Just hearts.'

burst open. Several of the boys snapped up into firing

postures, but Rocastle cut the air with his hands. 'Wait!'

'Well, if I'm so odd that I've got lots of everything, could I

still love somebody?'

It was Hutchinson, running wildly, his clothes and half

his face blackened. 'It's Smith, sir! He's deserted his Benny grimaced. 'I've, erm, never known the Doctor to post! He's taken Farrar down to the library to hide!'

have any concern for the trouser department. He

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'Get into cover,' Rocastle told him. 'Brave lad. Plucky of

you to come here. We'll settle Smith's hash when this is

'Do we want to all get shot?'

all over. Did you get into a scrape on the way?'

'If we scarper, no let's not.'

'Yes, sir.' Hutchinson slumped behind the sandbags.

'They're inside the school. One of them pointed a sort of

'Do we want to bathe in glory?'

flamethrower at me and I caught the edge of it.'

'It's overrated, dull and gory,' Benny continued, with a

'Well done, Captain. Did you see where the enemy were little grin of pride at that one. The gang of children and going?'

adults continued to run down the narrow corridor,

repeating the verses.

'They were heading for the gymnasium, sir.'

Smith tried to give Benny a reassuring smile, but the

'I see.' Rocastle stood up. 'In that case, I do believe that look she returned him was anything but reassured. an exploratory mission is in order. The gymnasium has

only one exit, and the southern stairs lead down there.

We'll have height and they'll have nowhere to run. We The family met outside the gymnasium, August's party may have a chance of settling the whole matter. Follow almost bumping into Greeneye and Hoff. me.'

'I gather we've come to the same two conclusions,' said

August. 'One, a complete holographic scan reveals that The boys did so, shouldering their arms nervously. the boy we're after isn't in the building, and - '

'I like being me,' Smith was insisting to Benny. 'Besides,

'Two, there's a dirty great tunnel around here I'm engaged to be married.'

somewhere. Three, shall we get after the little crukker?

Please?' demanded Greeneye, and ducked into the gym.

'You're what!'

Hoff, August and Serif followed.

'If she says yes.'

Aphasia remained outside, her finger in her mouth,

pondering something she'd read as the family had

'You're marrying... her?'

marched through the building. 'Maius Intra...'

'She's very nice.' Smith tapped Merryweather on the Rocastle's party rounded the top of the landing, and shoulder and indicated that he could unblock his ears. scattered down the banisters into pre-arranged firing Benny just glowered at him.

positions, surprised to find that the only person they

were aiming at was a little girl.

Smith took a deep breath and began a chant matched to

the rhythm of the jog. 'Do we want to fight and slay?'

'Miss!' Rocastle hissed. 'Miss! Would you please come

here?'

'We should all just run away,' returned Benny,

remembering the form from grotty route marches around Aphasia turned and saw them. She smiled. 'Oh? Why?'

the Academy.

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Hoff poked his head out of the gymnasium doors. He raised his gun and ran a burst of blue light up the

stairs.

'Aphasia, come on, we - '

A row of boys screamed, dissolved, were blasted Then he noticed the boys.

sideways, tried to run, cannoned into each other, threw

their guns aside, separated, exploded, bled. The He slapped his weapon up to head height. banisters before them steamed away into a cloud of ugly

smoke.

The wall exploded with gunfire, splinters bursting

everywhere. Hoff ducked back inside.

'Retreat!' screamed Rocastle. 'Retreat!'

Aphasia spun as the bullets caught her and slapped her Amidst the smoke, a few boys did just that, running to to and fro, her chest and limbs erupting with bloody his voice.

debris.

Hutchinson collided with him as they both sprinted up

'Cease fire' screamed Rocastle.

the stairs.

The little girl fell to the floor, and struggled to right

'We got one!' the boy laughed, clutching at his herself, her balloon lying burst across her shoulder. headmaster's lapels. 'Did you see, sir, we got one!'

Only one arm seemed to be working, and her eyes were

blinking at a tremendous rate, like a clockwork toy Rocastle could only stare at him as the others bundled winding down. She put her teeth to her wrist, and pulled past.

open the pouch there.

'Aphasia!' Hoff stumbled back into the gym, dragging the Rocastle noticed that a couple of his boys were standing body with him. 'Aphasia!'

up, about to go to her. 'No! Wait for - '

The family had been scanning the floor for the hidden Aphasia gazed at the black capsule inside her wrist, and tunnel their earlier scans had revealed. They all ran to a sweet smile crossed her face.

the body, Serif shoving the others aside to bend quickly

to the child, putting a gloved hand on either side of her Then her head hit the floor, dead.

face. 'If there's a chance, any neural activity at all-' His

expression froze and he let out a long hiss. 'No...' His Hoff stepped out into the corridor, looked down at the white teeth clenched and he closed his eyes. 'She is body, almost casually, and turned to face Rocastle and dead.'

his boys.

'Why didn't she put up her field?' Greeneye howled. 'Kill They were staring at what they'd done, appalled. them all, every single one of them.'

Hoff looked for a moment like he was going to say

'Close the doors,' August told Hoff. 'Put a field across it. something, but then he just shrugged.

Prepare a fusion bomb. This building will be her

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

memorial. Now, quick as we can, let's be about the Smith had explained as he paid for the round. It turned ceremony.'

out that the landlord was quite aware of the

passageway, and that the bursar had been an occasional Steaming tears were dropping from Serif's eyes, hissing customer through it.

as they fell on to Aphasia's dress. 'This one who was our

mother and daughter, flesh of ours, let her be our flesh Several of the locals muttered about the noise from the again.'

OTC being loud today, and one who claimed he was a

Boer War veteran who'd 'drunk his fill of Bovril' cornered

'Let her be our flesh again,' the others chorused. Smith and tried to row with him about it until the little

teacher wriggled out.

Together, they bent to the body to feed.

'Well, what happens now?' Benny asked once they were The old wooden door gave way after a couple of shoves. in the garden. She'd had the awful feeling that she had Benny looked around the cellar. 'Yes, that makes sense.'

been getting disapproving looks from locals who There were casks of beer, racks of bottles and metal remembered her fleeing from Greeneye. 'We can't stay pipes all around. 'It's a secret route to the pub. The Lord here long.'

of the Manor must have told the missus that he was

studying.'

'No, you can't.'

The boys filled the cellar and closed the door after them.

'You?'

'Fascinating,' Joan said to Alexander. 'I've never been in

'I've got to go back and let the others know there's a way a pub.'

out.'

'It gets better,' he told her, 'the higher up you get.' Smith Joan gripped him by the arm. 'Can't we communicate hopped up a flight of stone steps and listened to the with the school in some way, let them know?'

door at the top of them. Suddenly he took a step

backwards and waved at the others to get down.

'No. They've been cut off from the outside world. I have

to go back. I'll be careful. The rest of you must search The door opened.

for this Pod thing. Bernice, what did the boy who had it

look like?'

A surprised-looking landlord stared down at them.

'He was quite old, but still a bit small. Fair hair. Looked

'Thirty-eight lemonades, please,' Smith told him. like he'd been dragged across a field.'

'And a pint of bitter,' Benny added.

'Tim!' Anand said. 'You saw Tim!'

They marched out into the beer garden with their

'Dean?' Smith asked, putting a hand on Anand's drinks. It was getting dark now and the storm was shoulder. 'Yes, he fits the description. And he's been passing. The regulars had stared at the parade of very secretive lately. Who saw him last?'

schoolboys filing up out of the cellar. 'School outing,'

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'I saw him running out of school,' Alton murmured. 'He It shot over his head, just clearing the hedge and seemed intent on getting away. That was near teatime.'

bouncing off down the field. Splinters flew from it as it

hit.

'We saw him afterwards,' Benny told Smith. 'He's out

there in the forest.'

The wind roared past, thousands of tiny objects

battering across the humans as they lay there. The Joan squatted down beside Anand. 'Where does he like hedge became a mass of glasses, foliage and stones. to go? What are his favourite hiding-places?'

Alexander shielded his face with his arms.

'There are several. He used to walk on his own quite a lot. He liked going to the teashop, and looking around the library in town. They have better books there than at school. And he always liked the orchard. We used to go picking apples there.'

Alexander nodded. 'As I said. We should send out people in all-'

The skyline suddenly went white.

The shadows stretched negative black and long.

'Oh my God!' Benny shouted, the only one of them that understood it. 'Get - '

The sound cut her off, hitting like an enormous clap of thunder.

The blast knocked Smith's party off their feet, blasting The blast thundered through the town, signs flying from the wooden pub tables into the field beyond the garden. buildings, shop windows disintegrating, the cockerel

being torn from the top of the church spire. The market Benny, Joan and Smith grabbed the children and fell in traders, turned back from the roads by the frantic a sprawling mass. Alexander wasn't so lucky, rolling shouts and gestures of the army, had reassembled in over and over down to the bottom of the garden, finally the square, and their carts were hurled all over, skidding flattening against the hedge. He looked up and yelled, and smashing across the cobbles.

astonished at what was coming towards him.

People ran out of their houses, crying about the end of Through the blazing sky, a tree trunk was spinning the world, and were blown off their feet in the wind, straight at him.

wailing as they skidded down the streets.

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Then, just as suddenly as it had started, the sound He'd been startled by a noise in the bushes and come ceased.

upon Wolsey, staring up at him from his hiding-place in

annoyance.

A fine grey dust began to descend.

'Hey, come on, boy, come on.' Tim dropped to his knees

***

and crawled towards the cat, clicking his tongue. Wolsey

decided that the smell of the boy was interesting and Joan was curled in Smith's arms. 'What... what was strange, and not really frightening, and so edged up to that?' she cried.

him, rubbing his neck against Tim's hand. 'That's a good

cat. Now where - '

'Some sort of explosive,' Alexander called from the

hedge, trying to shout over the ringing in his ears. The That was what saved Tim from the explosion. Suddenly, boys were all shouting and openly sobbing, finally giving all the trees on the hill were flat, and he was lying under in to the fear that had pursued them for so long. one of them, the weight of its fall broken by the shrubs

that Wolsey had been playing in.

'A fusion bomb.' Benny spat to get the dust out of her

mouth. 'High blast, very low radiation yield.' She stood As the roar rumbled away, the cat leapt off, jumping up, and shivered at the spectre of the mushroom cloud from tree trunk to tree trunk very fast. that was rising above the slight valley that had once

contained the school. 'I had hoped that I would never get Timothy clambered out from under his particular tree, to see one of those.'

holding his ears. He counted the descending note of the

sound, wondering what he was doing as he did it, and Smith got slowly to his feet, pulling Joan up with him. came to some startling conclusions about distance and The first people were staggering, shouting and explosive force.

screaming, out from the still-intact pub.

'The school!' he whispered to himself. 'What have they

'All those boys...' Joan whispered. 'And the teachers...'

done?'

Smith held her tight, marvelling at the terrifying shape The family opened their eyes, blood still on their lips. in the sky.

They were standing in a small force dome, in the centre

of the school. Beneath their feet was a circle of

***

unharmed tiling.

Tim had been wandering in the forest, wondering when Above their heads stood the school.

the time would feel right to do anything. He'd felt

suddenly certain when he'd happened upon the barrier Only now it was made of fused glass. Patterns of light and rescued that soldier. That had been like following from the shimmering cloud scattered through it, rain lines in a play, remembering his cues. Now, he was back bowing the gym and the library and the kitchens. in the wings, waiting to be called again, hearing the faint Multiple lenses twisted the images and magnified them, whispers that seemed to come from the Pod in his hand. the fiery brightness flickering through the Upper School

and along the dormitories.

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Inside the building there were glass statues, boys

'Not much chance of finding this tunnel,' Hoff noted, captured as they were caught in postures of running or looking around.

hiding, their bones burst into glass and their flesh fused

away.

'No,' August agreed. 'Well, we can always follow the line

of it overground. Still, who knows...' He tapped the In the silence, silver dust began to fall. keypad once more. 'The Pod's transmitting again, it's -

ah, no its gone. It was somewhere over there...' He Around the building, the grounds had been flattened by gestured over the hill. 'Why does it keep doing that?'

the blast of transforming energy. Trees and bushes had

been ripped out of the soil and flung off into the sky. The

'It is transmitting information,' Serif hissed. 'Perhaps to circle of destruction only stopped at the distant the boy who is carrying it, perhaps,' he glanced at boundary wall, still half upright, and the tree line along Greeneye, 'to others. Perhaps both. We can only detect it the top of the nearby hills. The gate lodge had been torn when it is processing information.'

in half, the struts of its roof opened and the brickwork

dashed into the road.

'In that case, we'd better treat this more urgently,'

August ordered. 'According to Laylock, the Pod's made of The family had followed the ceremony to the letter, pretty strong stuff. So, as soon as one of us sees the walking out of the gymnasium when they had finished boy-'

feeding, and locating the precise centre of the building,

underneath the old clock tower. Serif had dedicated the

'We shoot the annoying little crukhead?' Greeneye transformation to the soul of Aphasia, which had now asked.

returned to the place from which it had come, the belly

of her family.

'Precisely.'

They'd set the fusion bomb on top of the force dome and

'Good.' Greeneye slapped the power on his gun up a few closed their eyes, beginning the litany that they'd only notches. 'I was starting to think that we were planning just finished. The actual detonation had been almost to adopt him.'

unnoticed amongst the emotion of the words.

They looked at each other and licked the blood from their lips. Not a scrap of their daughter and mother remained. The ceremony was over.

'Now,' August said after a moment's appropriate silence.

'Let's find what we're after, shall we?'

'Yes,' Greeneye agreed. 'And along the way, we'll make them pay for Aphasia. Blood for blood.'

'Blood for blood,' the family agreed.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

without the red sphere, bring him back here. Come back here anyway in two hours. If you see the enemy, run and hide. Don't let adults try to protect you, just get out of

their way. Benny, Alexander, you two take a few boys and go up on to the hills. Joan and I will try the

orchard.'

'Now, wait a minute -' Benny began, but Alexander had

grabbed her by the elbow and hauled her away through the gathering crowd before she could finish her Ch

C apter rE

lev

e en

e

sentence. The boys delegated to their party ran after them.

Castling

'I don't think your niece likes me very much,' Joan told

Smith as she watched them go.

'You're too alike,' Smith told her, leading her away. 'Not Amid a crowd of local people who rushed out of the pub, that I think either of you appreciate the comparison.'

gesturing and shouting at the shape in the sky, Smith

gathered his party together. 'Bernice, you know what A few minutes after the couple had left in the direction of that was. Did they - the ones who are after the ball - do the orchard, another commotion added to the one that it?'

the crowd were creating. Another group of tired and

tattered schoolboys, a vast number this time, threaded

'Unless a first-year had an unusually successful day in their way out of the pub and collapsed in the garden, the physics lab, I think they're a good bet.'

holding their hands to their bleeding ears.

'Then we definitely shouldn't fight them. They're too They'd been in the tunnel when the bomb went off. The strong.' He walked back and forth through the huddled explosion had rushed down it as a pressure wave, the boys and adults, his hands clasped ferociously behind air rolling over them and bursting their hearing like a his back. 'This is only a war if we make it a war. We terrible, intangible fist against their temples. They need to play a different game. A game like chess.'

looked like defeated prisoners-of-war and their faces

were blank and hollow. Some of the locals started to

'Pawns,' Alexander told him carefully, 'get taken in help them up and a doctor moved from boy to boy. The chess.'

startled townsfolk began to ask questions of them.

Smith bit his knuckle in concentration. 'Yes. So we

***

cheat. All of you, listen to me, we need to find Tim.' He

divided the boys up into groups, and sent each of them After the last schoolboy had climbed the stairs, Mr out to a particular one of the boy's haunts and gave Moffat, the bursar, staggered up out of the cellar behind them the same instructions. 'If you find Tim, with or him. He'd run about the school for half an hour before 247

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

the explosion, avoiding battles and shepherding

schoolboys towards the library.

'May I add the concept of the waterfall to this gay He collapsed on to the bar and a barmaid ran to him, picture?' Joan asked, enjoying their conversation pressing a glass of brandy to his lips in concern. 'Ah...'

despite, or perhaps because of, its grim setting. he said to her. 'You've saved my life.'

'Oh, you may. But that's just death, and Rocastle's

principles let you get over that in a barrel.'

Smith and Joan approached the gate of the orchard,

holding hands. They'd been talking about Bernice's

'Well, the edge of that waterfall looked very close until bizarre idea that finding the Pod would transform Smith you decided to paddle against the tide. I can't believe into another person and had even started making jokes that either of us are still alive, or that we're still active about it.

and not shocked into silence.'

The dark cloud was starting to disperse, and the silver

'That's because we're doing something. That's why I sent dust had begun to settle across the countryside. the others off so they wouldn't sit still and get afraid.

Tim will be in the orchard. When I was a boy, I used to

'The size of that explosion...' Joan whispered. 'John, I go and see a man who lived on a hilltop, and on the way am beginning to suspect that some of what Bernice says there were fruit trees - '

may be true.'

Joan stopped walking, and held Smith's arm harder.

'Some of it,' Smith muttered. 'Not all of it.'

'There was a man who lived on a hilltop? Near

Aberdeen? That doesn't sound very likely.'

'So, may I ask why you have suddenly steeled yourself

so?'

'Yes!' Smith insisted. 'Near Aberdeen. I can see him. I

can remember -' He turned his head to reassure Joan

'Once, perhaps, but try asking it five times fast.'

and blinked in astonishment. 'No I can't.' He turned

back to the angle he'd been standing at before. 'Yes I

'Don't evade me, John. You've changed.'

can, he was -' He turned back to her and took in a long,

frightened breath. 'Joan, my memory of this man seems

'For the better?'

to depend upon the angle I hold my head. What does

that mean?'

'Yes. I didn't think you could play a soldier for long.'

Joan struggled with a terrible desire that had boiled up

'You're right, it isn't me.' Smith vaulted the gate and I inside her, to hit him or drag him away or just stop this helped Joan climb over. 'I can see why Rocastle thinks madness from happening.

that way. It's attractive. Imagine, never having to make

any decisions. Because of honour. And etiquette. And Because she had a terrible feeling that it was going to patriotism. You could live like a river flowing downhill, happen. To her. Again.

hopping from one standard response to the other.

Honour this. Defend that.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'It means that I can hear another waterfall,' she told him His destiny?

bitterly, 'one all of my own.'

He lowered the sphere from his head, panting. 'I can't do

'Sorry?'

it,' he said bitterly. 'You're not mine.' Then his

expression hardened. 'You're right. I must find who you

'It means, you foolish man, that the thing we're after' - belong to, and give you back to them.'

she pointed in the direction they'd been walking - 'is that

way.'

Smith and Joan were picking their way through the

orchard, Smith turning his head every now and then like Timothy had found the going easier as he walked down a bloodhound on the trail. 'I don't understand this any the hill. The trees on the other side from the school had more than you do,' he told her, 'but it seems to be been shielded from the blast and were thus still intact. working.'

He was vaguely hoping to see the cat again, but it hadn't

appeared. He was heading for the orchard, waiting to

'If you find this artefact that everybody seems so feel certain about something again.

desperate to acquire, what do you intend to do with it?'

His eyes narrowed on the sphere, thinking almost that

'Make a bargain. I give it to them, they go away. This he'd heard it speak again. The demon inside the ball battle's about a thing. A round red thing that represents talked in whispers. He squeezed it tightly. That didn't nothing. A thing that's made them kill many times, that work. He drew it to his face, thinking to look into it like made me feel that I could take a life.' His growl receded a crystal ball. He'd already tried rubbing it, wondering if to a mutter. 'They're welcome to it.'

a genie would appear and grant him wishes.

Joan squeezed his hand tightly, heartened by his words. And the voice was nearly there, right on the edge of

'John, let me play devil's advocate for a moment. What if hearing. It got louder as he moved the Pod closer to his Bernice is right, and the sphere contains something of forehead. Sparks were dancing in his eyes now, leaving great value to you? Are you sure that you should give it bright trails across his vision. An inch closer and the away? I just want you to be certain of what you're doing.'

lightning would leap, the connection would be made.

He'd never have to feel pain again, he'd be above missing Smith shook his head, certain. 'What is there that I his dead mother and his father abroad who'd wanted could have that I'm not aware of? I can hear and see, I him to be a soldier. But it was terrifying, the things he'd have life and intelligence. Even if she is right, and the started to see, a great river of information pouring into Doctor is some advanced being that I'm just the shadow his head, as if from the lip of a cup that was about to of, I won't feel the loss. I've gained so much, being overflow. The responsibility of taking on all that... It human. I know I have.'

would fill him to bursting.

'How can you be sure?'

He felt like the young Arthur, the sword standing in the

stone before him. All he had to do was grasp it, free it,

'Because I have you.' He took her in his arms and kissed take on his destiny.

her again. 'And the Doctor didn't.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

It was Tim, clutching the Pod in his hand and staring at Joan enjoyed the kiss, holding on to him gladly. If she the teachers in wonder.

was being honest, desperately. When the kiss was over,

she whispered: 'This may be a bad time to mention it,

'Obsessed with death,' Smith finished. but in the last few hours, have you noticed anything

different about me?'

'Damn,' whispered Joan.

'Different? Apart from ragged, burnt and charmingly

***

tousled? No.'

The family came to the edge of the forest at a run.

'Rather more specific than that...' said Joan. She tapped August activated the scanner and clicked his tongue his chin with a finger.

approvingly. 'There it is, a clear signal! Something's

happening.'

Smith glanced down and saw his ring on it. 'You've - '

'I wonder what?' Greeneye muttered suspiciously.

'Accepted, yes. Do you think that we should make an

official announcement now, or wait until the remains of

'We'll approach them slowly and carefully.'

our workplace have been cleared away?'

'Why can't we just run at them?'

'I - ' Smith grabbed her and spun her round in a joyful,

random dance. 'Whatever you think best. Or let's just

'Because when we run at them, they get away. We need get married. Tomorrow. Yesterday. Tonight!'

to be more subtle.'

'I think that your head was pointing in the wrong

'They get away when Greeneye's being subtle, too,' Hoff direction then,' she laughed, holding on to her hat. 'But muttered.

there are vast, lately unexplored stretches of me that

would quite appreciate being married this evening.'

August sighed. 'The idea is, we spread out a bit and try

and cut off all their exits. The Pod may be singing away

'Shall we just pretend?' said Smith, his eyes sparkling. now, but we can't guarantee that it won't have stopped

by the time we get there. All right?'

'Don't tempt me.' They fell against a tree and several

apples fell from it, one bouncing off the top of Smith's

'All right!' Greeneye grabbed the second scanner and skull. 'Oh, any new thoughts?'

marched off determinedly.

'Nothing Newtonian. I never liked him. He was always

'Sometimes,' August opined, 'I wish someone else was very bad-tempered and completely...' His eyes narrowed, the oldest.' He checked the scanner. 'Come on then, let's and he turned from Joan, fixing his gaze on the figure finish this.'

that had just appeared at the other end of the orchard.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'If you don't like a place, you shouldn't stay there.'

'And what about the bullies?'

'They're the worst thing in the world. It's a big circle. They hurt people. The people they hurt feel powerless and go on to hurt other people when they're able to. And the original bullies were once hurt themselves. The wheel keeps on turning. Unless you step off.'

'That's what I'm going to do,' said Tim firmly. 'That's what's in this sphere, you know, the things you need to know so that you don't have to cause harm.'

Joan spoke up. 'John knows all about that, now.'

'Well, that's good. For myself, I know I shall never hurt

'Hello, Tim!' Smith called brightly. 'Please, don't run anybody again.' Tim paused for a moment. 'Were you away, we've been looking for you.'

ever bullied, Dr Smith?'

Tim stepped forward uncertainly. 'Dr Smith, Mrs Smith took a deep breath. 'That depends on what you Redfern... What happened to the school?'

call me. I remember running through the streets of

Aberdeen, with a gang of boys behind me. I remember a

'It was blown up,' Smith told him, walking towards him. lot of military louts shouting at me, and I remember girls

'In other circumstances, we'd have a party, but - '

hating and excluding me. That's in here.' He tapped his

head. 'But in there' - he gestured towards the Pod - 'I

'No you wouldn't. You liked the place. You liked remember other kinds of bullying. A boy in my class who everything about it.' Tim began to back away. 'You've so hated and loved me that he kept upsetting my come to get me because I ran away. When I was bullied, experiments. I made myself forget it, thought that I was you told me to put up with it.'

an adult and could leave it behind. But if you ignore

that, you ignore yourself.' He closed his eyes,

'Yes. I did.' Smith stopped and considered. 'I did that concentrating on what the sphere was telling him. because I was trying very hard. To fit in. To be one of the

'Recently, I thought I had become wiser than him, but gang. I wanted to have a place so much that I did things found that I was still hurting people terribly.' He opened I didn't really want to do.' He glanced at Joan. 'I've got a his eyes again, an expression of excited discovery on his place now, I know who I want to be. I've grown up. I'm face. 'I'd climbed back on the wheel. Become a bully. sorry that I gave you the wrong advice.'

Which is why I decided to stop.'

'So it's all right that I ran away from school?'

'Being a bully?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

spent the last half hour wandering about the hummocks

'Being me.'

and dells of the hillsides in the dark, the boys

occasionally gazing down at the moonlit glass palace

that had once been their school. 'I mean, why did we do Joan put a hand on Smith's shoulder. 'So it's all true?

this? Was Tim really fond of coming up here?'

This man I've got to know isn't the real you?'

'He did go up there sometimes, miss,' Merryweather Smith took her hand. 'He is now. Tim, I know what said.

you're carrying. It's mine, though I didn't know it until

now.'

'Call me Bernice or Benny, I really don't like being

reminded of my marital status every sentence,

'Then I should give it back to you.' He was frowning, particularly at the moment.'

something in his head shouting to him about context

and consequences.

'You're thinking about Dr Smith's engagement?' asked

Alexander. 'Oh dear.' He glanced at the startled boys.

'Yes.' Smith held out his hand.

'That's let the cat out of the bag.'

Tim paused, looking at the Pod. 'If I put it to my head,

'To Mrs Redfern, I gather?' said Alton. 'Everybody knows I'd change, wouldn't I?'

that those two are sweet on each other.'

'You'd become the Doctor, I suppose. Do you want to?'

'Bleh,' said Merryweather.

'He's the one in the Pod?'

'My thoughts exactly.' Benny patted him on the head. 'I

mean, she's so old. . .'

'Apparently.' Smith concentrated on what he was feeling

from the Pod. 'He's like me, only inhuman. Dangerous.

'Don't you think that you're being a bit jealous, loved Loving greatly but not small-ly. He's Merlin. You know one?' said Alexander.

the sort of thing.'

'You were him?'

'Jealous? No, no, I don't think it's jealously to hope that

the man who's been transporting you about the place

'I took that part of me out and put it in there.' 'Do you won't settle down in one small country and. . . oh want to be him again?'

yarbles.'

'No,' Smith said firmly. 'I don't think he's quite me any

'Yarbles?'

more.'

'It's terribly rude, but they won't understand that either.'

'I feel like I should tell them to form a crocodile,' Benny

'Interesting,' Alton began, 'that we're old enough to be muttered. She and Alexander were leading a group of shot at, but not to hear wicked words.'

four boys down the track that led on to the hills. They'd

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Benny ignored him. 'The only reason he sent us off to do And indeed there was. Two dark shapes moved through this was so that he could spend some time alone with the building, randomly like ghosts. 'Is it them?'

Mrs Redfern. And in the middle of a crisis! I ask you!'

Alexander asked.

'Well, we've got a few minutes to kill before we get back

'No,' Alton replied. 'One of them's wearing a Hulton to the pub,' Alexander said soothingly. 'I don't suppose uniform.'

we could go and have a look at what's happened to the

school?'

'It might still be them. I'll go and take a closer look,'

Benny told them. 'And no, Merryweather, you can't come

'Oh, could we, miss?' the boys started to call. 'Could too.' She hopped through a gap in the hedge. we?'

'Stop! Stop!' Benny waved her arms for quiet. 'I don't The two figures resolved themselves as Bernice got believe this! There are people out there who are trying to closer to the spectral building.

shoot us, but you want to go sightseeing.'

It was Rocastle, with that awful boy Hutchinson behind

'We could just take a look from a distance. If anybody's him, wandering from room to room, a large book in his there, we'll sneak off again. Benny, it's made of glass, hands. Benny stepped through an open window, where are they going to hide?'

wondering as she did so about the incongruity of the

dull panes of glass in the gleaming walls, and

approached them. The aliens would never do anything

'All right,' Benny agreed. 'But we just pop our heads up, so trivial and English as whatever these two were doing. say ooh, and pop them down again. OK?'

Rocastle turned from inspecting one of the glass statues

'Thank you, miss.' Merryweather gave her a little hug. that the bomb had made of the boys. 'Ah, Miss Benny shrugged him off. 'And no hugging.'

Summerfield. I'm glad to see that you survived. Are any

of the boys with you?'

***

Benny found herself chilled by his matter-of-fact tone. They crept up to the remains of the boundary hedge

'Dr Smith got most of his House out. Apart from that, I between the school and the forest.

don't know.'

'Ready?' Benny asked. One, two, three!'

'He ran away, you mean!' Hutchinson snarled. 'If he'd

stayed at his post, this might not have happened! How They all stuck their heads up over the hedge. 'Ooh,' said many lives do you think his cowardice cost?'

Merryweather.

With a great effort, Bernice ignored him. 'I wouldn't The glass school shone in the moonlight, casting a recommend staying around here. The aliens might be fabulously complex shadow of intersecting silver. back.'

'There's somebody inside,' said Alton.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Oh, do we know for certain that they're aliens?' Rocastle

asked, making a tick in his book. 'They sounded almost Bernice shook her head. 'Look, there are other ways to English to me.'

go about these things. We've got a party of boys together.

Come with us.'

'What are you doing here, anyway?'

Rocastle seemed to consider it with the same gentle

dislocation that had rolled over all his decisions. 'All

'I staged a retreat, took a number of my boys out right. When we've finished this.'

through the dormitory windows and on to the roof of the

sheds. Then the explosion happened. Like magic, isn't

***

it? Quite like magic. Anyhow, after it had all died down, I

thought it'd be best to ascertain the casualties. I'm going

'If you don't want to use it,' Timothy asked, 'what do you to have to answer for the life of every one of these boys, want it for?'

Miss Summerfield. The least I can do is identify them.'

Smith slowly withdrew his hand.

Benny couldn't help asking, 'What's the difference

between a retreat and running away, exactly?'

Joan glanced between them and decided to break the

deadlock. Her poor old heart had been filled with joy at

'The difference is, he's in charge!' Hutchinson told her. Smith's declaration. Astonishing as it was that he really

'He gives the orders, which Smith disobeyed.'

had once been some kind of cosmological wizard, his

decision not to take it all up again had been vast. A

'I wouldn't get so touchy about it. What's past is past.'

grand sacrifice for her, a big gesture that, in her Rocastle waved a hand airily. 'Smith has some good emotions now, made him every inch her husband. sides to him. Knock off a few comers and he'd be a solid

chap. What he has to do is to concentrate on what's

'I say,' she began, 'could I have a go with this magic best, eliminate the negative.'

object?'

Benny followed as the teacher and pupil wandered into Smith looked at Tim. 'What do you think?'

another glass room, this one full of small statues. Some

of them were throwing their hands into the air, some

'Just don't put it too close to your head.' Tim handed had intensely pained expressions on their faces. The Joan the Pod slowly and suspiciously, shivering slightly light creaking of the glass suggested somehow that the as he let go of it.

pain continued, even in death. 'So what are you going to

do after you've finished this?'

Joan took the Pod in her hand. 'Don't worry, I won't run

away with it.' She felt it react, in some odd way, to the

new touch. Then she closed her fist round it and closed Rocastle looked up from the register and tapped his her eyes. 'Arthur,' she whispered. 'Oh my God, Arthur.'

teeth with his pen. 'Oh, I think I shall have to eliminate Then, with a cry, she let go of it.

the negative altogether. Do my duty. I have no future,

madam.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

The Pod fell to the ground. Joan took a step back from

it. 'I saw Arthur, my husband, as he died. And then I felt

'What do you want it for, exactly?'

the Doctor in the sphere. His opinion of it. He was so

distant, so... cold. It was as if he was watching that Smith asked. 'We've already been through all this with death in my mind, but from such a height. Oh, John, Professor Summerfield,' August began.

I'm afraid of him, I'm so afraid of him.'

John held her, patting her arm. 'I'm quite scared of him

'Professor? I didn't know she was a professor,' Smith myself. It's odd that you saw Arthur. On the way here, I grinned. 'Do you know what of?'

kept seeing images of Verity. It's like she's in the Pod's

memories, but also in my own. I remember our

'John, don't antagonise them!' Joan hissed. courtship, how we kissed on the rocks in the moonlight.

But she's in the glimpses I get of my other past. Why

'Oh, I'll antagonise.' Smith took a step forward. 'I'll should that be?'

antagonize like I've never antagonized before. After all,

these two bullies, these two blundering butchers, are Tim picked up the Pod again. 'I don't know. But, please, going to get what they want.' He waved his hands in the answer my question. If you don't want to use the Pod, air, glaring at the two aliens. 'They've wiped out why do you want it back?'

hundreds of lives, traumatized a whole community and

now they're just going to take what they're after and go.'

He fixed August with a piercing gaze. 'Aren't you?'

Smith decided to tell the truth. 'I want to give the Pod to

those attacking us, since it's all they want. We don't

'That is so,' August assured him. 'We have no wish to - need it. Then they'll go away and stop killing people.'

hey!'

Tim stared at him, his expression pained. 'I wish - I wish Tim, noticing that Hoff's gaze had wandered off him for a I could agree' - he suddenly stuffed the Pod into his moment, had dived off towards the trees. blazer pocket - 'but I can't. I won't let you do that. It isn't

right.'

The two aliens had time to take careful aim before they

fired

'Timothy, let's talk about it, work it out - ' Smith grabbed

the boy's shoulders urgently.

But Timothy leapt high in the air, then jumped left right

left, and the bolts kicked up the earth around him, A blast of blue light silently exploded the ground shattered tree branches, blasted holes through bark and between them. Timothy and Smith stumbled backwards, leaves, until the young boy was lost in the darkness of both looking in horror in the direction of the blast. the orchard.

August and Hoff stood at the end of the orchard, their Smith gazed after him and then sheepishly raised his weapons trained on the humans. 'We have cut off your hands to August and Hoff. 'That, erm, wasn't actually retreat,' August advised them. 'There is no escape. Now, part of the plan.'

let's put an end to all this destruction, shall we? We

know that the boy has the Pod. Give it to us.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Hoff had made to run after the boy but August put a hand on his arm. 'No.'

'No? Do you think I'm going to wait for Greeneye to get here and -'

'There's a much easier way. Serif's analysis indicated that Dr Smith here has a particular weakness.' August pulled a device from his pocket and pointed it at Joan.

'That's her.'

'Wait!' Smith yelled. 'Don't - '

But August had already fired. A tiny dart embedded itself in Joan's chest. Her expression froze, and she started to walk, unsteadily, towards the aliens. Smith grabbed her wrist and tried to pull her back, but with sudden strength, she threw him aside.

August took Joan by the hand and looked down at Smith. 'She's coming with us.'

'If you hurt her - '

'We won't. You have my word. That is, unless you don't bring the Pod to our base in the forest before dawn. In that case, I'll let Greeneye vent his frustrations on her.'

Smith was about to bellow something, but he made it come out as a whisper. 'Where is your base?'

August raised an eyebrow. 'You'll find it. Well, you'd better, hadn't you?'

And, with that, the two of them walked off into the night, taking Joan with them.

Smith waited until they were gone, and then dropped his head to the ground in despair.

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Not much like the ordinary kind, but recognizable none the less. He rubbed the grey dust away from the notice on the front: Call here for help.

'What's a police box doing in the forest?' he asked the

Pod. The thing felt... special. Full of possibilities. It reminded Timothy of October teatimes, while his mother had still been alive, eager walks through leafy fields,

back for tea and bread with condensed milk. It reminded him of being read to, of being safe.

Ch

C apter rT

weleve

Gingerly, he touched the surface of the box. It was vibrating gently, humming even.

Knock Knock

He knew what the box was, then. It was somewhere to

run to, somewhere that would always be there, no matter what else was spoilt.

Tim ran through the orchard, cursing himself, the Pod, It was magic in a corner of a cold world. It was home. everything.

Timothy put his arms around the box and hugged it. It was all falling apart. That stupid man Smith had

wanted to give their enemies the Pod. That couldn't be And then a telephone began to ring.

allowed to happen. He didn't know why, it just couldn't.

The timing wasn't right.

Timothy looked around incredulously, trying to find the

source of the sound. It seemed to be coming from the So he was running pointlessly again.

box, from behind the sign.

Or so he thought.

He fumbled with the edge of the plaque and it swung

open on a very rusty hinge. Inside was a blue telephone, Ahead, some of the apple trees which had been felled by and that was what was ringing. The Pod was vibrating in the blast had fallen across the top of some large object. time with the sound.

Some large blue object.

Timothy had never answered a telephone before. He

picked up the receiver. 'Hello?' Then, a moment later: 'If Timothy cautiously walked around the obstruction, until that's where I have to go. Why do you want me to show he could see what it was.

him that? All right. Who is this?'

A police box.

He shook the telephone, and found that it was dead.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Bernice, Alexander, Rocastle and the boys were taking a

'We could go round the line of the hill,' Benny began. careful route back towards the pub, walking slowly

down the forest slope rather than risk the school road.

'Excuse me,' Rocastle said. The others looked at him

automatically, surprised by his quiet tone of voice. 'Joan Rocastle was dawdling in the middle of the group,

- Mrs Redfern - she's also my responsibility, and smiling at the boys sadly and walking with his hands in somebody who might have been a friend. I'm going to his pockets. That was a posture Bernice had never seen rescue her.' He looked slowly around the group. 'Would the Head use before. He was certainly in some sort of anybody be willing to help?'

shock.

***

'What are you going to do when we get back?' she asked

him.

Smith knelt on the ground, staring at his fists.

'Oh, I don't know. I can't think of anything further than-'

He was only human. He could walk through the forest

shouting, but Tim could hide from him. The boy didn't

'Oh my God, look out!' Alexander shouted. know the stakes now, didn't know that the most

precious thing in Smith's life was now at risk. August and Hoff were approaching through the forest,

Joan walking stiffly ahead of them.

What were his principles beside that?

The party scattered, diving behind the fallen trees. The Now that both the sphere and Joan were gone, he felt two Aubertides wandered by, Hoff checking a dial on his impotent and lost once more. He was only a small wrist to adjust Joan's direction of movement slightly. Scottish schoolteacher. He didn't have any heroics to

'Serif and Greeneye will still be sealing off the orchard,'

save Joan. All he could do was what any human could: August was saying. 'Think we should leave them to it?'

bargain. Bargain ethics against everyday life, the image

of how life should be against how it really was.

'They'll eventually get bored,' Hoff muttered. And they

moved on, still talking.

He closed his eyes, and put his hands together. 'Our

father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy After they'd passed, Bernice's party broke cover. kingdom come. Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in

heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us

'Mrs Redfern,' Merryweather gasped. 'What are they our trespasses as we' - he clenched his teeth, and going to do to her?'

realized that he was crying - 'forgive those that trespass

against us. Give us this day our daily bread and deliver

'She's a hostage.' Alton rubbed his chin thoughtfully. 'Or us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and they'd have already harmed her.'

the glory. For ever and ever. Amen.'

'Well, if the other two are down there in the He curled his knees up to his chin and hugged them. orchard,'Alexander said, 'I don't fancy running into

them.'

Gradually, the tension ebbed from him and his body

began to realize how late at night it was. The light of the 269

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moon overhead reflected off the silver dust all around

'Down by this barrier thing. He let me through. Sent me and made the orchard shine.

this way, but it doesn't seem - '

He couldn't sleep now. He had to save her. He promised

'He can do that?' The question was almost to himself. that he'd save everybody.

'Apparently, yes. What's happened to the school? Do you But on the edge of his mind, he could see her, that know what's going on?'

other, older her, now, standing with him on those silver

rocks in the light of the moon. She put her lips to his ear

'Less than you do. Can you take me there? To the and whispered something, but still he couldn't quite barrier?'

hear it.

'Why, yes, of course. Look, who are you?'

On the branches of the trees around the glade, a circle

of owls had landed, standing guard at all points of the

'Doctor.'

compass.

'Doctor who?'

Or perhaps that was in the dream, too.

'We'll see. Who are you?'

She was beautiful. 'Verity...' His lips formed the word.

'Richard.

Richard

Hadleman.

Soon

to

be

this

'I say, are you all right?' A voice interrupted him. constituency's MP, hopefully.'

He sat bolt upright. 'No!' he yelled at the newcomer. He Hadleman extended his hand to the ragged figure, who scrambled to his feet and stared manically at a young shook it distractedly and grabbed his umbrella from the man with a centre-parting, who backed away from the ground. 'Well,' Smith muttered, 'you won't need much of madman that he'd woken up. 'She would have told me!

a majority. This constituency's getting smaller all the She would have told me what I need to know. If I'm a time.'

bully or a victim or a coward or a hero. She would have

said.'

***

The man raised his hands in pacification. 'All right, old They walked through the forest, Hadleman staring at the chap. All right. I'll leave you to sleep.'

silver dust around them. 'It's like A Midsummer Night's

Dream,' he whispered.

Smith rubbed a hand through his hair, realising how

wild it had become. 'No. Stay. Bad dreams. What are you

'More like Hamlet. Tell me, do you believe in God?'

doing here?'

Hadleman, looking around him, was caught off guard by

'I'm looking for a chum of mine. I met a young lad and-'

the question. 'Eh? Oh, no, not at all, actually. I believe

in dialectical materialism, the force of history and the

'You did? Where?'

revolution. Two ideas collide, form a new idea, a

synthesis, and that new idea is naturally revolutionary. 271

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History's like a big hill, and we're all rolling down it and halted halfway, one hand holding the Pod, the other towards the inevitable. Towards the revolution.' He playing with the air of the barrier like he was idly stopped. 'Of course, that needn't necessarily be a violent plucking a harp. 'I had to do this, to put this between revolution. What, ah, are your politics, Doctor?'

us. This way you can't grab the Pod from me and give it

to them.'

Smith considered. 'I don't know if I have any. Not yet. I'll

let you know when my own synthesis happens.'

'I wouldn't just grab it,' Smith said. 'You know I

wouldn't.'

They came to the other edge of the forest, where a tiny

stream flowed along, a wooden bridge over it. The bridge

'Do I? They have the person you hold most precious in was connected to a stile, and the odd haze of the barrier the world.'

shimmered halfway across the water. The moonlight

gave the scene an eerie quality, like it was just a film set.

'You know about that?'

Smith hopped over the stile and wandered up to the

'I was told.'

barrier. 'Yes, I've seen this before. It's... dangerous. You

say Tim brought you through?'

'Then why won't you give me the Pod, let me give it to

them in exchange for her?'

'Yes, I was standing there on the opposite bank, just out

of sight of a soldier who's on guard a few hundred yards

'Because it doesn't stop there. There's more to it than down there. They'd told me that there was something that one deal. That's why I brought you here. I sent him dangerous going on. Thing is, I heard an explosion, and to find you.' Tim indicated Hadleman.

then, not very long ago, the big one that was probably

the school. I was afraid for my friend. I had to get inside.

'Did you?' Hadleman frowned.

The barrier feels disturbing. I don't know why, but I had

a feeling of dread as I approached it, a terrible fear of

'Hmm. Rather manipulative of you,' Smith muttered. dying. I was just plucking up the courage to take a run

at it when I saw this youngster wandering down the

'Perhaps. Come and join me, Dr Smith.'

path. He seemed quite surprised to see me, but when I

called out to him, he walked up to this... barrier, well, Hadleman glanced between the two participants, feeling whatever it is, took my hands, and pulled me through. It even more that he was in a play. 'We can't cross like you was like ducking through something very hot and there can. He'll be - '

was a muddy taste. But here I am.'

'No.' Smith handed Hadleman his umbrella. 'Take this. If

'Yes...' Smith stretched out his umbrella until it it kills me, give it to Bernice, tell her to carry on.'

connected with the barrier and then stepped back, as if

he'd got an electric shock. 'Very nasty.' He turned back

'But who's she?'

to Hadleman. 'I need to find the boy. We have to talk.'

Smith didn't answer. He stepped on to the bridge and

'We certainly do.' Timothy stepped from behind a tree on walked forward, his hands reaching out to grasp the other side of the river. He walked on to the bridge Timothy's.

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Through the barrier.

'What is this place? Is it hell?'

***

'It's one possible future. This is the Doctor's home. This

is Gallifrey.' A great singing was echoing across the The fires stretched all the way to the horizon. The landscape. Smith watched as a parade passed by down a ground was blackened and steaming. In the distance narrow valley, a series of robed individuals hanging from stood a vast statue, a little girl with a balloon, made of poles, strung between a row of marching figures. The crystal. Its head stood amongst the slight grey clouds. captors were all different, of many races, some

humanoid and some not, of many sexes and sometimes Smith looked up at the burnt orange of the sky. 'I know both. They were all clad in fine costumes, with exotic this place,' he said.

weapons hanging from their belts. They sang a gorgeous,

complex song as they hauled their captives between the

'While you're with me, you do,' Timothy told him. They burnt canyons, towards the foot of the statue. 'Who are were standing amongst the flames. 'The barrier is two they?' asked Smith.

perceived frames of time, different ones, put next to each

other. I'm not sure what that means, I was just told it.

'The children of the Aubertides, the ones who took on But a sort of... rubbing between them, that's what hurts the biology of the Gallifreyans. Every regeneration buds, people who go through it. Unless they're something every new individual can regenerate twelve times. called a Time Lord. They can just walk straight through. They're a vast army now, united and loyal to their That rubbing is also what lets us do this.'

family. They used the Doctor's TARDIS to land on the

planet, and did what nobody else had managed to do

took the Citadel by force. The Time Lords on the poles are the High Council, the ones in charge of the place. Does this make sense to you?'

'No. Yes. I don't know.' Smith shook his head furiously, as if to clear it. 'They can do this because they got the Pod?'

'Yes.'

'But this is a distant world, nothing to do with me, or Earth, or anything I know. And you said this was one possible future. These Time Lords might fight them off, or perhaps we could warn them, or perhaps - '

'Look closer.' Timothy gave the Pod a squeeze, and they were suddenly at the foot of the statue. An old woman in the robes of a Time Lord was looking imperiously up at

August, who held in his hands a wire crown. A much 275

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younger Time Lady stood beside them, her straight

blonde hair incongruous against her high collar. Behind Smith flexed his hands into fists. 'Can't we stop them?

the two Gallifreyans stood Greeneye, a long curved Can't we interfere?'

sword in his hands.

'We found this,' said August. 'It's one of the links to the

'No,' Tim replied. 'We mustn't be seen to be here.'

Matrix, isn't it? How do I access it?'

'I want to go home. I want to go back to Earth, I don't The old woman pursed her lips. 'You will find no Time want to see this.'

Lord willing to give you that information.'

'Fine, we'll go back to Earth. If you don't care about this'No, Lady Flavia, I'm sure you're right. I'm sure that this

'

is the impulse that comes over most invading races. The

locals won't show them how to preserve certain aspects

'It's too big for me to care about. I can't care about of their culture, so they destroy everything and, as they everything. What he said was true, nothing lasts, rebuild the place in their own image, have to face the everything changes. Why should I worry about anything indignity of being called barbarians. Flavia, you know but what I can see, what I can touch?' Smith raised his how petty and amoral this whole process is. In a hands, agonised.

century, if that, we will be the Gallifreyans and you will

be history. Our descendants may regret this carnage,

'Why indeed?'

but they will be secure and happy and here. Don't you

wish to preserve some slight details of your civilisation Romana had evidently said something insulting. by telling us about them? It is, as you must know, the Greeneye had forced her to her knees in front of him. only possible morality on the grandest scale of things. To

have a few pieces on the right side. To win a little. What

'Why won't she just tell them what they want to hear?'

do you say?'

Smith demanded. 'It can't be more important than her

life, can it?'

Flavia thought for a moment and then smiled. 'I like the

thought of you being called barbarians for a century or Timothy was silent.

two. Let that be my little victory.'

'All that they said about history, it's true,' said Smith, Oh.' August nodded to Greeneye imperceptibly. The his eyes on the twitching Flavia. 'Time doesn't care. But Aubertide swung the sword back and swept it through I keep thinking about a school playground. They must Flavia's collar. He halted the swing precisely as the have been hurt by somebody. As a family. Hurt as a elderly Time Lady fell forward, her neck half severed. species. So they hurt back. So they don't change. So Blood poured from the wound and she weakly tried to nothing changes. Do I really have to hurt them again to put her hands to her neck, writhing on the ground. stop them? And if I wanted to, could I? All I want is for

'Well, I'm sorry, Flavia, but this is for history too. We'll me and Joan to be left alone.'

let you regenerate each time and then keep on chopping.

It could be worse, believe me.' August turned to the The blade scythed up into the air and the young woman other Time Lady. 'Now, you're the one called Romana, looked at it, a slight curl of contempt on her lip. aren't you? Will you tell me how to use this crown?'

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Smith thought about a dying flutterwing. He could think

about it. That was another piece of him that was about

'Oh yes,' August agreed. 'But consider, if he's starting to to die down in the valley. 'Take me home,' he told be able to leap and hop like a young Time Lord, then the Timothy. 'I won't give them the Pod. I'll think of another Pod's started to communicate with him. We've seen the way. Even if it kills me.'

information transfer on our scanners. If it's doing that,

then it might be - '

The man and the boy were standing across the bridge

again.

'Trying to persuade him to put it to his forehead?!'

Greeneye shook his head in frustration. 'Crukking cruk.'

Smith let his hands drop to his sides. Timothy walked

forward, the barrier shimmering around him, and joined

'Exactly. We don't want a little Time Lord on our hands. Smith on his side of it. Hadleman was still watching, That would be going back to square one. Therefore, I entranced.

don't want the boy to feel that he's in danger. Smith will

get the Pod from him and bring it to us. Simple.'

'Here.' Timothy held up the Pod to Smith. 'Take it. It

belongs to you. I know you'll do the right thing with it

'He was quite prepared to, you know.' Joan spoke up. now. Just as I was told you would.'

'Until you captured me. Now I hope that you don't get

what you want.'

Smith held out his hand and took the sphere with a

sigh.

'Damn

it.

Why

is

everything

always

so

'Very noble. Any idea what you're being noble about?

complicated?'

What this object we're after is?' August plucked a hair

from her head and chewed on it thoughtfully. Timothy thought for a moment, his posture slumping

back into that of a frightened youth. 'That's life?'

'I've experienced it. It felt rather terrible and rather

wonderful at the same time, like a bottle with a demon

***

in it. It's very powerful.'

Joan was manacled to an upright post in the family's

'Indeed it is. With it, we could multiply endlessly, dome. Hoff had sunk a deep bore into the soil and conquer half the galaxy, start venturing through time, secured it with magnetic pegs before pulling the dart turn almost everything in the cosmos to our advantage.'

from her skin. The Aubertides had reassembled at the

dome a few minutes earlier.

'Why? Aren't you happy with what you've got?'

'So it's unlikely she'll get away?' Greeneye murmured.

'No,' Greeneye sighed. 'As I've often said, our whole

'Unlike the other two?'

motive in life is to find something to do. And once you've

done that, you have to find something better to do next.'

Hoff only grunted in reply.

Joan managed to smile at him. 'I felt like that after

'I do not see why we didn't just pursue the boy,' Serif Arthur died. But then I found myself involved in hissed. 'He may be fast, but we would have caught him teaching. And then I fell in love again. Love really does eventually.'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

make you feel satisfied. Have you never known that

emotion?'

And he pulled Serif out of the door with him.

'I suppose... I keep trying.' Greeneye looked at her

'Now, wait -' August found that he was talking to seriously. 'Though the others laugh at me for it. I reach nobody. He sighed and turned to Hoff. 'Do you think out to people, want to touch them, get involved in their that Greeneye would care that that was obviously a reproductive processes. But they always see that as trap?'

something negative.'

'No.' Hoff produced his pistol and stuck it under Joan's

'If you mean what I think you do,' said Joan, 'then I am chin. 'But it's best to be ready. Just in case he can't not surprised. Is that your only definition of love?'

chop his way out of it.'

Greeneye shrugged. 'We love each other, us six, us five.

***

Now. That ought to be enough, oughtn't it?'

Benny ran frantically through the forest, uphill along the

'If it is, why do you want to multiply so much?'

track that led up on to the downs. She had intended to

fire off a couple of rounds against the dome's surface, Greeneye thought for a moment, then shook his head but the intended effect had been achieved, they were slowly, pulling a sword from his harness. 'If you say chasing her anyway.

anything else to me, anything at all, I'll cut your head

off.'

Great. The good bit was that the shattered forest was full

of cover. The bad bit was that it was correspondingly Joan pursed her lips and smiled sadly again, looking hard to run through, even though Benny had carefully almost sorry for the alien.

selected her path beforehand.

'We are unused to such discussions,' Serif hissed. 'If Behind her, Greeneye and Serif were crashing through Aphasia still lived, then I might.'

the undergrowth, trying to bring their weapons to bear

on her. If they stopped for a minute and thought about

'Look! Greeneye shouted.

why they were pursuing her, then this was all going to

fall apart. She glanced back and saw the look on Outside the dome, between two trees, stood Bernice Greeneye's face. No, actually, he seemed to know exactly Summerfield, a pistol in her hand. The gun was pointed why he was doing this.

at the dome, but her eyes had just fixed on Greeneye

staring at her and her mouth had formed a single She hurdled the stile that led up on to the hills, the dismayed syllable.

chalky path shining slightly in the moonlight, and,

struggling for breath, sprinted uphill. She had to be over She turned and ran.

the ridge in, oh, two minutes, otherwise they'd get a

clear shot.

Greeneye grabbed the nearest member of his family,

which happened to be Serif, by the sleeve. 'It's her!' he Laying this out had seemed so simple compared to yelled. 'The one who got away! Come on!'

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lot of his bullishness. Alton had come into his own, too,

working out the timings. It had come down to which one Bernice saw the stone features of Old Meg looming up on of them could best achieve them. Rocastle had wanted the hillock above her and doubled her speed. Her two to, but that was ridiculous, and in all conscience, pursuers would round the end of the channel down Bernice couldn't send one of the boys to do this, not below in a minute or so, maybe more if they thought even Hutchinson. Even with her beer belly, which she they were about to be fired upon.

was personally rather fond of and of which Guy had

been terribly enamoured, she was going to be faster than Alexander popped up from behind the monument and any of the other adults.

called to her. 'Turn to your right, don't run ahead!'

She made it over the ridge in one minute fifty, and no She swerved and took a curving route round to the energy bolts whizzed past her. She was under cover for monument. She dived behind it, panting. 'Wonderful the next five minutes.

diet. The Pursued By Aliens Plan. I can recommend it.'

Then it was a sprint up to the monument.

'How many did you get?' asked Rocastle. There was no

sign of the boys.

'Why,' hissed Serif, 'are we doing this?'

'Two.'

'Because of her, because of Aphasia, just because!'

Greeneye growled. The two Aubertides were pounding

'One would have been better for a hostage.'

their way uphill, burdened by their heavy weapons.

'I'm terribly sorry. Did you manage to do anything with-'

'Having sexual congress with one more human will not

bring Aphasia back!'

'Too dangerous. I think we managed to put those

wonderful tools of yours to good use, though. Now, off to

'Maybe not, but it will make me feel better!' The aliens the flint pit with you two. I'll wait here.' He took his skidded down the chalk slopes into the long ridge that pistol back from Bernice with a wry little smile. led around the lip of the downs, and saw Bernice

vanishing around the curve ahead of them in the Alexander and Benny dashed down the hillside behind darkness.

the monument. Ancient flint diggings provided useful

cover there. The two of them leapt in, to find the boys

'These are ancient fortifications,' Serif reported. 'I saw in lying there, an assortment of rocks and rough wooden the notes that this area was the scene of a dramatic stakes in their hands.

slaughter. These are earthen walls built by the Iceni

against the Romans.'

'Oh, Bernice!' said Anand. 'Merryweather here has been

fretting terribly about you.'

'Who?' Greeneye had nothing but red rage in his face.

Serif took a deep breath and kept running. 'If you don't Merryweather glared at him.

learn the lessons of history...' he whispered.

'Maybe we could have dinner when this is all over?'

***

Bernice winked at the embarrassed boy. 283

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'I, ah, beg your pardon?' Merryweather squeaked.

'I did,' Rocastle said. 'And my lads killed your girl.' He Alexander patted him on the head. 'I do believe she's jumped back behind the monument as an energy bolt teasing you.'

hissed past his head.

Greeneye and Serif ran out on to the light slope where Serif glanced down at the pit beneath his feet. Greeneye the monument stood and looked around. 'Where is she?'

was staring up at him angrily from about twenty feet Greeneye muttered, pulling both his swords from his below, his face a mass of blood, one eye caked shut. harness.

'Throw both of them down here,' he bellowed, 'and I'll

toss you the scraps!'

They split up, fanning out in different directions.

Rocastle peered out from behind Old Meg and winced. Serif nodded and stalked towards the monument, firing They were supposed to assume that the statue was the energy bolts at intervals into the ground in front of him. obvious cover and run straight for it.

Hutchinson scrambled to climb over the edge of the flint Greeneye indeed was wandering towards him, but Serif workings, but Alexander grabbed him by the collar and was some distance away, slowly turning as if smelling pulled him back.

the air.

'Not yet!' Benny whispered. 'If I let any of you get into Rocastle took a deep breath, poked his head out again danger, Rocastle will kill me.'

and shouted. 'Oh my God, they're here!'

'But he's -

Greeneye spun. He ran at the monument.

'He's armed. We're not.'

And fell straight through the ground.

***

Before she'd left, Bernice had shown the boys how to use

her excavation probe, a gravitic device that could, at its Serif had reached Old Meg. He stepped slowly around it, highest setting, create a large pit. Over that pit, they'd anticipating an attack at any second.

put a film of resin created by her ion bonder. Then

they'd just thrown a light covering of the soil and grass Rocastle stepped out behind him and raised his gun. from the pit back over it.

'Now-'

Greeneye dropped straight through the resin, bellowing Serif spun and knocked the gun from his hand. 'You as he went. His swords had gone flying as he tripped should not have warned me.' He swung his own pistol over the edge.

up.

But Serif stopped just short of the pit's edge, his arms Rocastle lunged forward and slammed the alien against spiralling. He balanced himself and stepped back. 'You the stone. 'You destroyed all my dreams, you know,' he did this?' he hissed at Rocastle, who stepped out from told him as they struggled, almost conversationally. behind the monument.

'But, strangely, I feel almost as if I ought to say - '

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Serif spun him round, smashing the human against the Hutchinson grabbed one of Greeneye's swords from the base of the statue. Rocastle fell, winded, and looked up ground where it lay and Merryweather grabbed another. as Serif aimed his pistol at his head. The rest of the boys formed a rough circle around the pit

as the alien climbed out of it, clutching their rocks and

'Thank you.'

clubs.

The force of the explosion threw Hutchinson and Only Anand stayed back, beside Alexander. 'Are you Alexander back off the edge of the flint diggings. The going to help them?' he asked Bernice. others threw their hands over their heads as debris

rained down, small lumps of the stone that had made up Benny realized that she'd just been staring at the scene, Old Meg.

absolutely useless to everybody. She was feeling sick

inside. It took her a moment to realise why. Benny peered up over the edge. The monument was a

crater in the ground, at its centre a mass of flaming She'd seen this before.

debris that was sparking up into the sky, small

detonations still going off.

She started forward. 'Wait - '

She climbed out and walked over to the flaming pyre, Greeneye was now fully emerged from the pit. 'Well Alexander and the boys following her.

then?' he shouted. 'Who's first!' He grabbed for his gun.

'He knew that it would explode,' Hutchinson said. 'It was Hutchinson lashed out and Greeneye clutched at his the only way.'

upper arm, the gun tumbling from his numbed fingers.

'No it bloody wasn't,' Benny whispered. Merryweather ran in and struck him across the leg, the

ultrasharp blade bursting a line of blood from There might have been an argument then, but Greeneye's thigh. He roared and lashed out, knocking Merryweather had turned to look in the direction of the Merryweather to the ground. He stumbled forward, pit. 'Look!' he yelled.

felling boys to the left and right with his fists.

Hutchinson went flying too, dropping his sword. A hand had gripped the rim of the pit, and was

scrambling against the crumbling earth, trying for a But the boys still closed in, swinging their rocks and solid hold. As they watched, Greeneye slapped another clubs.

hand after the first and began to haul himself over the

edge, his face a mask of rage and sorrow. 'Serif!' he was Benny shoved her way through the crowd, pushing them bellowing. 'You animals! I'll cover this hill with your aside to get to the man.

blood!'

Lashing out all around him, he was blindly groping to Hutchinson started to say something, but it came out as get a hand into his boot.

a roar. He sprinted towards the pit and the other boys

followed, yelling shrill cries.

He pulled out a small black capsule.

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Hutchinson placed the sword on the ground, visibly Benny leapt through the boys, straight at him. She controlling his anger.

knocked him over, landing on his chest, blows still

falling randomly around her.

Alexander helped Benny to her feet. She was shivering.

'Busy day.' She flapped her hand, wincing. 'Ow, I think

'You can't stop us!' Greeneye was roaring. 'I - will - see I've broken my knuckle.'

you all die...'

Alton spoke up. He was crouching by Greeneye's neck, His fingers squeezed the end of the capsule. It was about his hand on the alien's pulse. 'This man's going to come to burst.

round soon. Can't we secure him somehow?'

Benny felt something give inside her, an internal

'Schoolboys who don't have any string?' a familiar voice explosion of some vast rage she'd never known. 'Nobody called from behind them. Smith was standing against else dies!' she shouted.

the burning crater on the skyline, leaning on his

umbrella. 'That's unusual.'

And she punched him.

Very hard.

The body slumped back on to the ground, unconscious.

The capsule fell from his hand. The boys fell back.

Hutchinson swayed into view amongst them, having recovered the sword. He swung it up overhead, about to behead the alien.

But Benny threw herself on to the body, clutching him tightly to her, slamming her head against his. 'Nobody else dies! Do you hear me?' She glared up at Hutchinson. 'Do you understand?'

'She's hysterical.' Alton stepped forward. 'Let's get you-'

'I am not bloody hysterical, I'm not the one trying to kill the hostage!'

There was a general mumble of agreement. The boys started to drop their improvised weapons.

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Up the hill behind him had appeared Hadleman and Tim.

Anand ran to Tim and shook him warmly by the hand. 'I thought you were dead!' he laughed.

'So did I,' said Tim.

Alexander had been helping the boys secure Greeneye. Now the curator looked up. For an instant, he closed his Ch

C apter rT

hirtree

e n

eyes. Then he made himself smile and stood up, waving.

'Richard!'

Let Me Tel You Something That's True

Hadleman ran forward, and the two men stood at a distance from each other, their hands forming restrained

spirals before them. 'Alex, old chap, what are you doing here?' Hadleman grinned.

'Doctor!' Bernice cried, and ran to him.

'I could say the same. Come and, erm, see what's

happened to the monument.'

Smith disengaged himself from the hug. 'Smith. Still.' He

pulled the Pod from his pocket and spun it in the air Alexander glanced at Smith and the boys, and the two thoughtfully. 'I haven't yet applied for my honorary men wandered around to the other side of the destroyed doctorate. I saw how you saved him, by the way.' He statue.

pointed to Greeneye, who was even now being bound in

miles of schoolboy string. 'Well done.'

Benny was still holding on to Smith. 'So, you're finally

convinced that you weren't always human?'

'We need him as a hostage.'

'I am. What an odd thing to find out.'

'I doubt that would work. Anyhow, that wasn't why you

did it.'

'Well, this might be a good time to consider what species

you'd like to be. You know about Joan?'

Benny resumed the hug and this time he allowed it. 'No,'

she whispered. 'It wasn't. I think I've developed this

'Yes. They've told me I have until dawn to give them this, phobia about letting people get surrounded by men with or they kill her.' Smith gazed at the brightness that was swords. Hey, how did you know about that?'

starting to redden the eastern horizon. 'I had thought of

just making the swap, but Timothy showed me what

'This.' Smith rubbed the Pod on his elbow. 'It lets me would happen if I did. I was tempted to go through with know little bits. At random, I think. Oh, by the way, I it anyway, because I do love her, Benny.' His eyes brought some friends.'

sought hers. 'But I don't think the Doctor would like it.'

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'You mean you're still going to stay as Smith? You don't

'You know, I think Rocastle got a bit of Doctorishness off want to be the real you, despite all this?' Benny sat of you before he died. It must be catching.'

down heavily on the grass. 'The Doctor would have some

plan worked out in two seconds. One, if we had a

'Perhaps. But does the Doctor have to sacrifice himself chessboard handy.'

to win?'

He sat down beside her. 'John Smith is the real me. And

'Sometimes.' Benny shivered, not knowing why. 'So,' she it's because of all this, not despite it. You don't know asked, 'shall we go and have this adventure?'

what you really want in life until it's taken from you.'

'The last adventure. Before I retire.'

'You mean Joan?'

'And do you have a plan?'

'Yes. She agreed to marry me. I have to save her. And I

have to do it as me.'

'Oh yes. Tell me, have you ever played poker?'

Benny looked at him for a moment, and then resignedly August checked the controls on the vortex tunnel. 'We laid her head on his shoulder. 'If there's one thing I've can be ready to depart as soon as we have the Pod.' He learnt in the past few weeks, it's that we don't get glanced at the approaching dawn. 'If, that is, Serif and second chances. Do you need a bridesmaid? I've always Greeneye get back.'

wanted to be one, but everybody I've ever known has

been scared to death of altars.'

'I'm worried,' Hoff muttered. He was still squatting by

the post, his gun jammed under Joan's chin. 'They're

'You mean you think I should?'

taking too long. And we heard an explosion.'

'I think you ought to go for whatever you think will work.

'That'll just be Greeneye over-reacting. Still, if they don't I might even start to like her.'

appear before Smith does, then I'll just use the Pod

before we go to search for them. We'd be able to locate Smith nodded solemnly. 'So we have to win, if only so them in a moment with the services of a TARDIS at our you can expand your wardrobe. But we're going to do it command.'

as you and me. Smith and Summerfield. Will you come

with me?'

'You're certain he'll bring the Pod?'

Benny carefully planted a kiss on top of his head.

'Of course. We have the thing he holds most precious in

the world.' August patted Joan's head.

'You're beautiful,' she told him. 'Of course I will.'

'I'm not a thing,' Joan told him.

Smith grinned, frowned and bit his lip at the same time.

'Oh, in this game you are. We're all things when it comes

'Erm, thank you.'

to war. You see -' August realised that Hoff was staring

out of the dome in surprise. He followed his gaze.

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Smith and Bernice were wandering unconcernedly butcher. 'No, not him. Didn't I tell you about Kuala? Or towards the dome, Smith wearing his white evening was it Tuola? I just fancy some kidneys...'

gloves.

Joan began to sob uncontrollably. 'Oh God, somebody The two of them walked straight in through the open save me, please…'

doorway.

August turned back to Smith. 'You don't have the Pod, I Hoff pressed his gun closer into Joan's face. 'John!' she take it?'

cried. 'I hadn't dared hope -'

'No.' Smith shook his head. 'Smith must still be

'What?' hissed Smith. 'Oh, of course - she thinks that I searching for it.'

am Dr Smith. Greeneye and I succeeded in cornering his

fleeing companion on the hillside. She and some of the August absently picked up a scanner and checked a boys had mounted a trap for us. We fooled them through reading. 'So why keep his form?'

my assumption of this form. That finger I consumed

proved to be... very useful.'

'I can search for the boy like this, also. He will trust me.'

'And I had some fun afterwards. Professor Summerfield Joan gave a shriek. Bernice was working at something put up quite a fight.' Bernice wiped the back of her hand behind her. 'Finger,' she explained. 'That won't annoy across her mouth, her other hand on her hip. 'Delicious Smith too much, will it? They'll be a matching pair.'

memories, almost as good as that Auregan.' She

wandered over to Joan and ran a hand through her hair. Smith idly picked up the control dart-gun from one of

the benches and inspected the muzzle. 'Ready?' he Joan shivered. 'Does this mean that - Is John dead?

asked.

Please tell me.'

'For what?' August frowned.

'No. He wasn't about. Lucky for him.' Bernice looked up

at August. 'Can I have some of this? It's always that way

'Yes,' Bernice called cheerfully.

with humanoids: you have one and ten minutes later

you want another.' She pulled a strand of hair from Smith spun the gun round and fired darts into August Joan's head and chewed on it thoughtfully. and Hoff.

Hoff relaxed, standing up and dropping his gun back Bernice threw aside the manacles she'd been cutting into its holster.

through and pulled Joan to her feet. She dropped the

laser cutter back into her pocket. 'Sorry I burnt you,' she August smiled at Bernice. 'Yes, of course, but don't do told Joan, 'but it added a touch of realism.'

her too much damage, we need something to give to

Smith. This Auregan you mention, do you mean Sola?'

August plucked the dart from his chest. 'I'm astonished,'

he said. 'But those darts don't affect us.' He snatched Bernice glanced up from where she'd knelt down, his gun from its holster and pointed it at Bernice. starting to tap Joan's sides with her fingers like a skilled

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A question mark umbrella handle plucked it from his they intend to do with it. Do you understand? Don't be hand and sent it spinning across the dome. unfaithful to who you are. Promise me.'

Hoff grabbed for Joan's shoulder, but she was already

'They're not going to - '

running, Bernice pulling her bodily out into the forest.

August swung a blow at Smith's head, but the little man

'Promise me!'

ducked, rolled over and popped up again in time to trip

Hoff as he dived for the door. He gave a quick bow and

'Yes, I promise. I love you.'

hopped over the sprawled alien, dashing off into the

trees.

'I love you. Thank you for coming back for me.' The

umbrella started to stretch.

'No!' August shouted. He slapped a control on the wall.

Bernice made a mighty effort. She slapped a hand

***

forward, and worked her way up the shaft, hand over

hand.

Smith, Benny and Joan sprinted through the lightening

undergrowth, Joan being virtually carried along between She managed to get hold of the tree itself and hauled the other two. 'John!' she panted. 'You rescued me!'

herself past it.

'We're not out of the woods yet,' Smith gasped. 'Still-'

She tumbled down a slope on the other side, free of the

force. She scrambled quickly back up the bank.

'Is it me, or are we slowing down?' Bernice asked. Supporting herself against the tree, she poked her head

over the ridge.

They all looked down. Beneath them, the humus was

slipping away from their feet. A great wind rose against It was like being hit on the back of the head with a them, and suddenly they were pushing to make hammer. The force grabbed her skull and tried to haul it headway, the air around them as thick as treacle. A off her shoulders. 'Doctor!' she called. 'Get down here!'

buffeting hurricane of leaves and twigs thundered by. She reached out a hand, but Smith and Joan were still

clinging on to the umbrella and each other. Joan began Smith swung his umbrella in a slow arc and the handle to slip from Smith's arms and his fingers grew white on caught around a tree branch a few feet ahead. He pulled the umbrella handle.

on the umbrella itself and managed to haul them

forward a little way, the wood stretching and creaking

'No...' he said, despairing.

with the effort.

And then he was torn from the umbrella. Bernice got a hand on the umbrella, too, and helped to

pull.

Smith and Joan shot off backwards towards the dome,

the umbrella spinning after them.

'They've got us again, John.' Joan's voice was calm and

strong. 'Promise me one thing. Don't give them what Bernice watched as they went. Hoff and August caught they want, even if it means my life. They've told me what them neatly by the dome and threw them inside. Then 297

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the force that had captured them was switched off, and

all was quiet again in the forest.

'They'll both be avenged.' August patted his shoulder.

'Before we go, we'll reduce this world to ashes.'

***

The others were waiting in the forest, sitting in a great

'Do you think you're dealing with children?' August circle in a clearing, too shocked or nervous to make their pulled Smith to his feet.

way home. Alton had started a fire and Hutchinson was

staring into it morosely. Anand and Tim were talking in

'Children would be better behaved,' Joan told him. She whispers, going over Tim's adventures. smiled proudly at the aliens. 'John came to rescue me,

against all the odds.'

'The thing is,' Tim was saying, 'I thought that I knew

how Rocastle was going to die. The Pod told me. But he

'We have similar ethics, then.' August let go of Smith blew himself up to kill Serif.'

and motioned to Hoff. The gruff alien grabbed Joan and

secured her to one of the benches. 'We both look after

'Then that means that the future's wide open. We can our own. Where are Serif and Greeneye?'

change it,' Anand whispered. 'Isn't that wonderful?'

Smith glared at him. 'The first is dead. The second we've The other boys were huddled together, some of them taken prisoner. I'll swap him for -'

sobbing, others just slowly calming down, ridding

themselves of the tension and the fear of death that had

'No. If you had the stomach to harm him, that would been with them for the last few hours. It didn't help that have been your initial strategy.' He picked up the Greeneye was tied to a tree near by, under the watchful scanner again and checked the readings. 'You're gaze of Alexander and Hadleman. After he woke up, the swamped with the kind of radiation we've learnt to prisoner had started shouting threats and curses, but associate with the Pod. It's not on you, but you do have after a while, these had changed into pleas and requests it hidden somewhere.' He pointed to Joan. 'Our offer still for food. Once it was certain that he wasn't going to get stands. Give us the Pod and she lives. Go and get it.'

any, he slumped into an angry silence.

Smith looked into August's eyes. 'If she's hurt, there will The sky overhead was getting lighter. It had been a be nowhere in the cosmos that you can hide from me.'

warm night, but they were all ready to welcome the

dawn.

August inclined his head. 'I believe you. One hour.'

'So,' Alexander broke the silence. He'd been looking at As Smith left the dome, he caught sight of the Richard and wondering if he should tell him. He mustn't expression

on

Joan's

face.

Pride

and

quiet

do that. The only thing he could do was to enjoy every determination. He paused for a moment, then, moment they had left. 'Does anybody know any good imperceptibly, he nodded to her.

stories?'

When he'd left, Hoff turned to August, his eyes closed in

'Oh, shut up,' muttered Hutchinson.

grief. 'Serif too…' he whispered. 'This trip has been

costly.'

'You shut up,' Tim told him.

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make the decision not to go there.' Rather embarrassed

'You can't tell me that, bug.'

by his eloquence, he shrugged and sat down.

'Yes I can, and don't call me bug.'

Alexander stared at him sadly. 'I love you,' he mouthed,

though Hadleman couldn't see.

'Who thinks' - Hadleman raised his voice - 'that Tim

should shut up? Raise your hand.'

Hutchinson probably wouldn't have let the matter rest

there, but into the clearing walked Smith and Benny. No hands appeared.

Smith glanced around the group. 'I'm sorry,' he told

'And who thinks that Hutchinson should shut up?' A lot them. 'We failed. They still have Mrs Redfern.'

of hands appeared.

'Well then, there are enough of us!' Hutchinson gestured

'There. Tell us a story, Tim.'

to the boys once more. 'There are only two of them.

Never mind all this anarchist bunkum -'

'It doesn't work like that,' Hutchinson sighed wearily.

'I'm his Captain, so I can tell him to shut up.' There was

'Socialist bunkum,' said Alexander.

a murmur of discontent around the circle. Hutchinson

looked up, suddenly bemused. 'What?'

'It's time for some good old British grit. Play up and play

the game, chaps! We've nearly done it, we've knocked

'I think...' Hadleman picked up the red sphere that out three-fifths of their force! Listen, I have a plan...'

Smith had left with him and stood up. Alexander

watched him worriedly. He'd advised Richard not to hold Smith stared at the young man as he started to make on to the Pod, to leave it by the fire. Now he was the words again, to spread his hands in grand gestures. throwing it lightly from hand to hand. 'I think that Unseen, he wandered around the campfire to where democracy will soon be everything. You lads just got Alexander and Hadleman were sitting. Smith bent down your first vote. If the balloon goes up this year, or the and picked up the Pod. 'Mine, I think.'

next, maybe the generals will finally realise that, in the

end, a soldier fights for his conscience. He isn't an Alexander looked up at him. 'Is it?'

animal to be herded to the slaughter.'

'Oh yes.'

'Wouldn't you fight, then?' Hutchinson glared at him.

'Would you be a coward?'

'Take care.'

Alexander watched a distant expression wash over

'I will.'

Hadleman's face. Finally, he put the Pod back down on

the ground and met Hutchinson's gaze. 'I would fight if I Bernice was standing with Tim and Anand's group, thought the cause was just, as far as any of us can tell much to Merryweather's delight. The Captain had that sort of thing. And, believe me, there will be plenty of discreetly moved around the fire to sit by them. Benny cowards on the battlefield, and plenty of heroes who was making loud coughs and trying to start other conversations as Hutchinson went through the motions 301

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of his speech. Every now and then she looked at what monsters. It doesn't take an object to let you do that. It Smith was doing, desperate for him, yet not knowing takes determination. And hope for humanity. And love.'

what advice she could possibly give.

Benny went to him and held him. 'What you said about Still, she was surprised when he appeared behind her sacrifice, John. It doesn't have to be like that. There's and put a hand on her shoulder. 'It was good to know always another way.'

you.'

'Not this time.'

'Doctor, you're not - '

'I just don't want anybody to have to die. Hadleman, my

old Guy, Rocastle. Poor Constance. But especially you.

'Smith. Dr Smith. Call me that now, at least.'

Both of you.'

Benny carefully adjusted his tie, whispering so that Tim

'Then let me do this, before more children get killed.' His couldn't hear her. 'You're not planning on -'

words seemed quieter somehow, as if they were coming Smith patted her gently on the arm. 'Walk with me a from a distance, part of the whole distance of the glade. little way, I don't want to listen to that.' He indicated When she came to write this section of the narrative up Hutchinson, walking around the campfire, pointing in for her diary, Benny felt that she was somehow writing the air.

fiction.

***

Especially considering what happened next.

They wandered through the forest until they came to a She stepped out from the trees, a beautiful dark-haired dark glade, where the rising sun stretched the shadows woman. 'John...' she called.

of the trees into long, spectral shapes. Benny rubbed a

hand across her face. She was so tired that she felt like Smith and Benny turned and stared at her. 'Verity,' said she might fall asleep any moment. The sensation had Smith.

come over her in the last few minutes.

August stood by the door of the dome, gazing out into

'I've discovered a lot in the last few weeks,' Smith began. the darkness. 'It is quite a beautiful world, don't you

'I've found out that being the Doctor... it's not about think, son? I like the trees particularly.'

having special knowledge or abilities. It's about not

being cruel. It's about not being afraid.' He walked into Hoff ducked his head outside and looked. 'Hmm. Trees the middle of the clearing, searching for the right words. are trees. I'm worried about Greeneye. Don't you think

'There are monsters out there, yes. Terrible things. But we should have bargained?'

you don't have to become one in order to defeat them.

You can be peaceful in the face of their cruelty. You can

'And gone back to square one? No. Once we've got the win by being cleverer than they are.' He turned back to Pod, we'll rescue him. Oh, and talking of which -'

Bernice. 'I tried to give up so much - my responsibilities,

my past, my guilt. But others kept these things safe for A small, shadowy figure was making his way slowly me. Now, for one last time, I, John Smith, will be the through the forest.

Doctor again, and go on an adventure, and defeat the

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Hoff picked up his gun and went to stand beside Joan. the memories, but none of the compulsions or traits that She had been sleeping fitfully, but now she'd woken made the Doctor what he was. He will, in effect, die, but once more.

in so doing he will create a new species. A very strong

one. Now.'

'You know, you really could come to some kind of accord

with John,' she said. 'He's a good man. We all feel for He slowly raised the Pod to his forehead. Blue sparks our own kind. Perhaps - '

began to dance between the two surfaces.

'Shut her up,' August snapped.

They touched.

Hoff slapped a dart into Joan's neck and the woman August screamed in pain and doubled over, his hand froze, breathing shallowly.

clutching the Pod in determined agony. Hoff stared at

the scene, covering the others with his gun. The figure in the darkness approached the dome. To the

east, the sky was blue, and a prickly expectation was Suddenly, August jumped to his feet again and spun to settling on the forest, the calls of waking birds mingling look at Hoff, his arms extended. His pupils were shining with the departing sounds of night hunters as the sun silver, information spiralling across them. 'Hoff, I can rose.

feel it, it's wonderful!'

August stepped forward. 'Dr Smith. Have you brought

the Pod?'

He spasmed again, twisting into a crouch, his hand still

wrapped tight around the Pod.

'Yes.' The figure stepped forward, his left hand in his

pocket, his right holding the red sphere. 'Where's Joan?'

His eyes met those of the little man in the shadows.

'Here.' Hoff activated a control and Joan stood up. He A look of horror passed across the silver pupils. took a key and loosed her from her chains.

And then it was gone.

August studied the little man before him. 'You've finally

given up, then? No last-minute tricks? No desperate August slowly straightened up and tossed the Pod from gambits?'

hand to hand. He smiled a satisfied smile and stretched.

'Let her go, Hoff. We've got what we wanted.'

'Only a request. Reconsider. What's in that sphere is

vast and terrible. It's a tremendous responsibility. Do Hoff stared. 'It worked? You're a Time Lord?'

you really want to take it on?'

'Yes! I feel as if I could fly!' He walked up to Joan, and

'I've thought about it long and hard, believe me.' August waved a hand before her sightless eyes. 'I want her to reached out, and, with an anticipatory pause, took the see me.' He plucked the dart from her neck and she Pod from the other man's palm. 'I've prepared for this jerked back to life, staring at the man who stood before transformation. I've had psionic blockers placed in my her.

brain to filter Time Lord personality data and stop it

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The smile was enough to tell her what had happened.

'You...' Her eyes narrowed, and she glanced between the

'Well, you could always -' The man in the shadows three men in the dome. Then she said carefully: 'You revealed his left hand, and flexed his little finger. His gave him what he wanted.'

calm expression darkened into a stormy frown, and he

growled: 'Run.'

August lunged at Hoff.

Hoff threw Joan aside and brought up his gun.

The blast went straight through August's side.

But the force of August's run sent both men tumbling backwards towards the wall of the dome.

The Doctor threw the Pod across the room. It slapped against a control on a distant instrument bank. He jumped at a closer panel, and, faster than the eye could follow, clattered hundreds of switches into new positions.

Hoff threw the gasping body of August aside and swung up his gun towards the Doctor.

But the Time Lord had already spun the final dial.

'No.' The man with the umbrella stepped forward. 'I

didn't.'

The first time barrier swept into the room through the

wall of the dome and into the sphere atop the control August touched Joan's chin, extremely tenderly. 'He's panel that the Doctor was working on. Hoff shouted as right.'

the shimmering wall went through him. 'No!' he

bellowed. 'Don't!' He dived at Joan and held on to her Hoff frowned, realising that something was happening like a lifejacket. 'You'll kill her too!'

that he didn't understand.

'I'll kill no-one,' the Doctor snarled. He grabbed Joan, pulling her away from August, and

pressed his gun into her neck. 'Wait!'

The second timeframe arrived a moment later.

'Hoff...' August spread his hands, amazed. 'What's The two walls collided, with all of them between them. wrong?'

***

'I want to see his hand. The one he's got in his pocket.

Then I decide what I do next.'

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Hoff fell from Aphasia's wrist, a tiny newborn trailing

blood.

'I don't know.'

Greeneye caught the baby and dropped him into a vat of

'Then don't tell her. Do I call you Father?'

liquid nutrients. 'Isn't he wonderful?' he said.

'If you want. I haven't heard that for a while.'

Hoff had never known he'd heard that before. Serif was

busy dabbing at Aphasia's wrist as she sobbed. August

'It doesn't seem appropriate.'

looked proudly down into the vat and smiled.

'No.' The Doctor looked past August's, or rather, Smith's,

'Well, that's the last one. What shall we do now?'

shoulder.

Laylock was standing by the door of the dome they'd Verity was standing there. 'Doctor. Dr Smith.'

erected. Every now and then, he'd glance out at the

burning fields in the distance. 'What indeed?' he Smith spun round and gazed at her. 'Verity. My dear.'

whispered.

The woman smiled. 'I'm flattered, John, that you regard Hoff lay back in the liquid and luxuriated in it. He was me as an old flame. That was your interpretation of what at peace, for the first time in his life. And the last. I was doing in your memories. But I think you're on

rather dangerous ground. I'm one of the Doctor's The Doctor watched the image of the scene spiral away, dreams, an icon, a female custodian of something that's replaying itself time after time between the shimmering deep inside him. I was the only piece of himself that he membranes of the timeframe. He was watching with his left behind in his head. I'm important to him. He hardly eyes closed, because he knew that if he opened them, listens to me, mind you. And he never returns my he'd really be just standing in the dome. telephone calls.'

And it was good to be able to watch with his eyes closed

'Do you want to tell me what you told John in the glade again.

this morning?' the Doctor asked. 'What you were trying

to whisper in his ear for so long?'

Good to be the Doctor.

'You still don't know? I don't see why I should tell you August stood before him in the timeless time. He held now. You employed me, after all, to defend and take care out his hand. 'The Doctor, I presume?'

of your deepest memories, and then you failed to take

heed of any of my warnings.'

'Good to meet you, Dr Smith.' The Doctor shook the

hand of the being who used to be August, marvelling at

'I didn't, you mean,' Smith interjected. how familiar the new expression on the alien's face was.

'I got you killed. I'm sorry.'

'There are things down there in my unconscious that

even I don't know about, memories from before I was

'Don't be. Joan would never have accepted me like this, born,' the Doctor explained. 'I couldn't get rid of all of in this body. Does she know?'

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it. I just thought that there ought to be somebody in life from you in return for that of your companion. Our there who knew who I was.'

business is now concluded.'

'Couldn't she have appeared earlier and saved me all Smith shivered at her touch. 'What's going to happen to that bother?' Smith asked.

me?' he asked.

Verity patted him on the shoulder. 'I wasn't allowed to.

'Another owl for Lord Rassilon?' the Doctor asked. That was the frustrating thing. I couldn't intrude into

your consciousness. I could only appear when you'd got

'That is not for you to ask,' Death replied. it sorted out for yourself.'

Verity kissed Smith's forehead. 'It'll be fine. Bloody

'So what did you say to him?' the Doctor asked. Eternals think they own the universe. They don't know

everything.'

'That he believes in good and fights evil. That, with

violence all around him, he's a man of peace. That he's Death began to fade, and Smith with her, the man never cruel, or cowardly. That he is a hero.'

looking around himself in wonder.

Smith closed his eyes for a moment. 'It felt good to hear

'Give my love to Time and Pain,' said the Doctor. it confirmed. Of course, that's not a definition of me.

That's you, Doctor.'

'If it wasn't for Time, I would never entertain you.' Death

glared at him. 'But you cannot let family down.'

The Doctor reached out and touched him on the

shoulder. 'As I believe you said, being me is a state of She clicked her fingers.

mind. Six other people apart from you and I have had a

go. You were rather good at it.'

The Doctor opened his eyes.

Smith looked at him again and managed a smile. Joan was standing in front of him, staring at the ring on

'Perhaps I taught a few more would-be Doctors how to her finger. 'When - whatever that was - happened, the do it.'

ring saved me. I could feel it, protecting me, holding me

here like a sort of anchor.'

'Perhaps. But I wonder how many will remember when

they grow up?'

'Good.' The Doctor went to the bank of controls, and

pulled a long electrical cord from it. He peered at the Verity waved a hand between them. 'Sorry to interrupt. globe where the two timeframes spun around each Look who's here.'

other, then hopped over to where the Pod lay, still in

August's dead fingers.

Death looked at them all, sniffily. 'You deal with me

again, raven Time Lord, possibly for the last time.' She

'That poor man,' Joan whispered. 'He must have turned put a hand on Smith's shoulder. 'This one belongs to against his fellows at the last moment. He gave his life me, now. I told you long ago, Doctor, that I would take a for his conscience.'

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The Doctor bit his lip, pulling the Pod from the cold Well, it felt like the woman was just a character I'd made hand. 'Yes...' He connected the Pod to one end of the up. Perhaps I'll just start this whole account with the cable, and the timeframes to the other, then hit a few words: 'Long ago and far away.' I got back to the switches. The timeframes faded and he spun the Pod in campfire and walked round and round it, hugging triumph. 'Good, that's Hoff in the Pod as well. Now…' He myself.

pulled the cloth from the vortex disc, and reset the

controls, so the butterfly tunnel spun off in another Hutchinson was still in mid-rant when the time barriers direction. 'The Monks of Felsecar guard some of the hit us.

most dangerous artefacts in the universe. I'm sure they'll

appreciate another item for their collection. Who knows, We got to our feet after they'd passed, feeling as if a maybe one day they'll let those two out.'

ghost had gone by, or that we'd just missed a fast

aircraft at an air display.

'Why, John, what do you mean?'

Tim blinked. 'I feel like - like I've just woken from a The Doctor winced again, secretly. 'Nothing. I'm still dream,' he said. 'Goodness, Anand, what a strange few confused.' He tossed the Pod into the vortex, and days this has been.'

watched it spin away into the distance. Then he

switched off the cabinet. 'Shall we go?'

Hutchinson stopped talking, tried to pick up his place

and started to flounder. I have a feeling, if my own

'Where?'

experience was anything to go by, that he has a smell of

mud and iron in his nostrils.

'About three hundred yards away. Out of range of the

self-destruct mechanism.'

Hadleman and Alexander clutched each other. Alexander

looked at the other man and I saw a strange, hopeful,

'Oh,' said Joan.

smile on his face. 'I don't know why,' he said, 'but I

suddenly feel quite hopeful.'

***

While I was doing all this observing, and the sun was From the diary of Prof Bernice Summerfield coming up too - by the way, I'm really quite thorough

about background - I realized that I'd started to cry. Or In the clearing in the forest, I watched as the woman laugh. Or something.

walked up to John Smith and whispered something in

his ear.

What a strange life this is.

She vanished soon afterwards and Smith turned and At any rate, by the time the Doctor got there, I was walked away into the darkness.

smiling.

I think. When I came to write this all up... Listen, if Diary Entry Ends

you're a historian, you know you can't trust a diary, right?

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'I don't care. You can torture me -'

'No. I think I'll have you locked up. I did that once to an immensely powerful other-dimensional sorceress. She

got out immediately, but the experience left her feeling sheepish.'

'But we can't have him getting away,' Hutchinson objected. 'He ought to be bloody well hung!'

Ch

C apter rFou

o rtree

e n

e

Bernice raised an eyebrow and Alexander burst out laughing.

Cat Heaven

Alton wandered up. 'I appreciate how you feel, but don't

you think that this man's powers go beyond the army's ability to hold him? We could just shoot him and bury him here.'

The Doctor stepped into the circle of boys. 'Hello. I'm the

Doctor.'

'Don't be barbarous. Oh, he might get away' - the Doctor

tapped his umbrella handle against his chin - 'but what

'Are you?' Bernice leapt to her feet and grabbed him, will he do? He's got no weapons, no technology, and a looking joyfully into his eyes. 'So-'

life span of, what, ten more years at the most? That's the

thing about such powerful biosystems. They burn

'I used the Pod before I got to the dome. August didn't themselves out.' His face darkened. 'I think killing him know that. He was prepared to fight off Time Lord would be far too merciful.'

biodata, not human nature. Smith took over his body.

August and Hoff are now in the Pod themselves, off to

'You dog!' Greeneye spat. 'You took away our last safekeeping.'

chance!'

'And what about Joan?'

'Did I? I only just got here.'

The Doctor's face clouded. 'Smith died saving her. I Hadleman tapped the Doctor's shoulder. 'Erm, Doctor?'

think he was fond of her. I sent her back to her house.'

The Doctor turned, suddenly beamed and pumped Tim ran forward and beamed up at the Doctor. 'So you Hadleman's hand with two of his. 'Richard Hadleman!

beat them?'

Pleased to meet you!'

'Yes. And I didn't kill them. So I won. Talking of which...'

'We've, ah, already met.'

He wandered around the tree and smiled gawkily up at

the naked Greeneye. 'What are we going to do with you?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Yes.' The Doctor's face fell. 'But you shouldn't know

'My protestations...' the bearded man muttered. 'They about that. Oh, you mean Smith. He wasn't me. Much. If may have been a little too successful.'

at all. What?'

'And have you considered an American holiday?' asked Hadleman laughed, bombarded by the Doctor's swift Bernice. 'Very soon?'

collection of thoughts and postures. 'I just wanted to tell

you, there's an army convoy outside the village. We Alexander kissed her cheek. 'We won't run away, loved could give him to them.'

one. Give my regards to the future.'

'Yes, now the barrier's down, that's very apt. Very neat.'

Hadleman shook her by the hand. 'Am I going to

understand any of this?' he asked.

Hutchinson had been watching the conversation, his

hands on his hips. 'I'm just wondering, Smith, or Doctor,

'Quite possibly.'

or whatever you're calling yourself, how you're going to

answer to that same convoy for what you did to the Merryweather approached Bernice cautiously. 'Will we school.'

meet again?' he asked hopefully.

'Me? I'm going to answer in the same way I answer every Bernice framed an uneasy smile. 'Time will tell.'

message that I don't want to hear. I'm not going to be at

home.' He flipped up a finger and pressed a spot above The Doctor was shaking Tim's hand earnestly. 'Thank the boy's nose. 'Now fall over.'

you for keeping things safe for me.'

Hutchinson did, out cold. Anand and Merryweather

'Thank you for being brave. I've decided that I'm going to looked down at the body, then shook hands. be brave too.'

Smith glanced around the group. 'Well, I'll leave it to you

'So what are you going to be when you grow up?'

two' - he indicated Alexander and Hadleman - 'to hand

our villain over to the authorities; tell them he mustn't Tim glanced down at Hutchinson's body. 'Not a soldier.'

eat meat, by the way. And you boys can take yourselves

down to the bakery in town.' He threw a bagful of coins They finished their goodbyes, and Benny handed the on to the ground. 'That's a train fare home, a bun and Doctor the TARDIS key. She wasn't sure just what his probably a hug each... Then we can go home.'

intentions were, but, when he began twirling it around

his finger and whistling as they walked away, she Bernice peered at him, but decided not to mention it at thought she had a pretty good idea.

the moment. She went to Alexander and Hadleman. 'I

hope you'll be very happy,' she told them. 'If Alex's When they'd walked far enough from the clearing not to womanising doesn't get in the way.'

be heard, she disengaged herself from the Doctor's arm.

'Right,' she said.

'Your what?' Hadleman frowned.

'What?' The Doctor stopped. 'Is there one thing you don't understand?'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

have broken, battle or no battle. Doctor, please, go and

'I'll say. You said that you "sent Mrs Redfern home". Are talk to her.'

you leaving it at that?'

He looked at her for a moment. Then he nodded. 'Yes.'

The Doctor frowned. 'I thought we'd slip away. It's

usually best.'

***

'Usually, but not when you've promised to go and see Joan was tidying her house as the sun rose over the somebody and explain everything to her.'

battered town. The military had arrived in force in the

market square and fire brigades from the whole county The Doctor stared at her. 'How did you know that?'

had been going from house to house, helping to repair

the damage. All that had happened to her own place,

'Because if you hadn't, she wouldn't have let you out of thankfully, was that a few pictures needed straightening her sight.'

and a bit of that silver dust that was everywhere needed

brushing out of the carpet.

He glared down at the ground, his hands describing

awkward little circles. 'She doesn't know... She thinks She glanced at the ring on her finger and smiled. It was I'm... It'd be difficult.'

quite a motif, that the sign of his love had spared her.

And now he would be a hero, when the story got round,

'Not half as much for you as for her. Doctor, you owe her the schoolteacher who had saved everybody. It was quite an explanation. Your experiment in being human has a shock to discover that there were hostile creatures hurt-'

from other worlds. But there was also her own fallen

angel. And he was, perhaps, representative of a gentler

'Hurt? I'm a Time Lord. Smith was a human.' He gazed humanity that existed in the stars.

at Bernice vacantly. 'I can't love her. I don't feel that way

about her.'

She sat down and let Wolsey leap into her lap. 'You're

going to have to get used to a new householder,' she told

'So she's lost the man she loved.'

him. 'But you like him, don't you?'

'Then how can I help her?'

There was a knock on the door. She leapt up, much to

Wolsey's disgust, and ran to it.

Bernice looked at him sadly. Distantly, she thought that

she might have felt angry, but he looked so lost. 'What, Her fianc&eacute; stood there, wearing a hat and a you didn't find that out? What was this all for, then, this jacket that she'd never seen him in before. holiday in the human condition?'

Joan folded him into her arms and kissed him.

'I thought it would be peaceful.'

Then she withdrew, staring at him in surprise.

'I'm not talking about the aliens. You're not responsible

for them. I'm talking about the heart that you would She picked her way back through the hall and into the sitting room, supporting herself on the furniture as she 319

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

went. She finally sat down. 'John...' she murmured. 'Do

'No!' The Doctor grabbed her forearms and made her come in. I'm sorry to be so...forward.'

rise. 'He loved you, he loved you so much that he was

willing to become me again to save you. Feel.'

'It's not that.' The Doctor closed the door and stepped

into the centre of the sitting room, not quite looking at He took her hands and put them over one of his hearts. her. 'You know what's happened, don't you?'

Then the other.

'No.' She looked up at him, terrified. 'Please tell me.'

'And is one of them his?'

'I had to change back. To save you. You asked Smith not For the first time since he'd come here, he allowed to give August the Pod. He didn't. I did. I'm the Doctor.'

himself a moment's uncertainty. 'I think that both my

hearts are mine. That was one of the things I wanted to

'Oh...' Joan closed her eyes for a long, hard, instant. learn, where one part of me ends, where the next begins. Then she opened them. 'I'm very pleased to meet you. Many of his attitudes and ideas, his ways of acting, were Doctor. Is there nothing about you that's like the man to mine. But he's a different person, a role I created in whom I've become engaged?'

order to learn things.'

'I think we believed in the same things. In the end. We're

'So you remember everything?'

the same shape of person, using different memories. You

made him more like me. He was willing to give his life.'

The Doctor paused, then decided to tell the truth. 'Yes.

What would be the point otherwise?'

'Don't tell me that, I didn't want him to give his life. I

didn't want to go through that again! My God, I don't Joan gave a short, bitter, laugh. 'You haven't learned think I can go through -'

how to love.'

She forcibly stopped herself. 'You don't love me then?

'A fish can't learn to -'

You have his form, his habits - and you move like him.

But you don't love me?'

'Walk?'

'No. I can't.'

'Not that. A better metaphor. Whatever it is, I'm

incapable of it.'

'Why? Is he not a part of you? The human part?'

'Could you not become John Smith again?'

'There is no human part. I'm a Time Lord. A different

species. He was a character I created, a fiction.'

'If I could find another Pod. But such horror followed

me. Such - ' He dropped his head. 'That's not true. I

'Rubbish. I don't give my heart to fictions. When his might become a man again, but it wouldn't be John. And spirit inhabited you, you were not so different to the way I wouldn't want to do it. I know everything I am, and you are now. John, if you're simply lying to me, there's that includes the knowledge that I want to be me.'

no need, you can take my heart and go-'

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

'Well...' Joan let go of his hands, and moved off a little

'Don't what?'

way. 'I believe that you're a good man. You didn't know

that your human self would fall in love.'

'Don't...' The Doctor stared down at the cat in his arms.

It jerked about, wanting to move, and then hopped up to

'It seems obvious now. What else do humans do?'

lie along his shoulders. 'No. You must do what you have

to.'

'Go to war.'

'Of course.' She quickly walked to the door and held it

'I did both, then. And I was half successful.'

open for him. 'We both must. It was good of you to come

and tell me. Thank you for saving us all.'

She smiled, sadly. 'Oh, more than half.' She plucked the

ring from her finger. 'Do you want this back?'

He paused for a moment at the door and gazed at her

face. 'I hope that one day, when I'm old, when my travels

'No. Keep it. Please.'

are over, and history has no more need of me, then I can

be just a man again. And then, perhaps I'll find those Wolsey, oblivious to what was happening, was rubbing things in me that I'd need to love, also. Not love like I do, himself up against the Doctor's legs. Joan glanced down a big love for big things, but that more dangerous love. at the cat. 'I shall have to move, of course. There's no The one that makes and kills human beings.' He school here for me to work at, now. I gained Wolsey stretched out a finger to touch her face, but suspended through chance, when I arrived here, and I doubt that it, an inch from her skin. 'It's a dream I have.'

he would want to follow me to some other earthly

destination.' She paused and took a sharp breath. 'I He turned away and walked down the road. would like to think that you have a companion to guard

you, besides Miss Summerfield. Would you be willing to He didn't look back.

take him on?'

Joan closed the door and sat down, not feeling anything. The Doctor bent and picked up the cat, who curled up in

'I should go to bed,' she said. Then she stood up his arms. 'Won't you miss him?'

suddenly, seized by the idea that she should run after

him and grab Wolsey back.

'Miss him? I'll miss - No, no I'll get myself a litter of

kittens and teach them all how to be good cats for good She made herself stand by the door, not opening it. homes. May I keep those stories that you - that John

wrote?'

And she stayed there for a very long time.

The Doctor felt a heavy weight in his chest. 'If you wish.'

***

'Very well, then,' she said brightly. 'It's all decided. Was Laylock looked up at a sound from outside the tent. It there anything else?'

was night, but he'd been pacing for hours, checking to

see if the signal had been picked up by the vortex

'Joan... don't...'

cabinet again.

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The sound wasn't repeated, so he glanced at the dial gave a wink and asked: 'Any chance of a corned-beef once more.

sandwich?'

'Good evening, Laylock.'

***

He spun round.

Wolsey licked at the butter they'd put on his paws.

Alton was standing there, in a black robe now, rather This new place was huge, with big white corridors than his school uniform. The robe carried no seal or leading off everywhere and an amazing range of insignia, but the cut of it suggested, as it was meant to, interesting smells to follow. There had been another cat that the wearer was equally used to the darkened here, once, but it had gone now, so the territory was his. corridors of the Capitol as to alien fields and foxholes. He'd already been shown a whole roomful of cat litter, Besides, an owl sat on his shoulder. Alton was pointing and another with sunshine, climbing bars and a lot of a gun at Laylock.

different and challenging cushions to lie on. Cat heaven.

'Are they - did they-' The old Aubertide took a step back. The two new people were sitting in chairs in the room

with the thing that moved up and down. It was warm, so Alton reached into a pouch at his belt. He produced a Wolsey was curled on top of it. The two people were small bag of coins and handed it to the alien. 'Greetings drinking from cups. Every once in a while the woman from Aberdeen.'

would reach out and hold the man's hand. She'd held on

to him for ages when he'd first come through the door, He turned and left.

then they'd made the drink together, hardly letting go of

each other.

Laylock held the bag in his hand and sighed in relief.

Then he went and switched off the vortex cabinet. Odd things, people. Still, Wolsey thought that he was

going to like it here. It already felt like home.

***

Then the smooth motion lulled him to sleep. That night, Major Wrightson, who'd set up a detail of his

men in the market square, was surprised to take He was woken only once that night, as his new owner custody of a prisoner. Hadleman and Alexander handed reached down, late and alone, to gently smooth the fur Greeneye over, together with statements about Rocastle on his head.

and the hospital. They gave lengthy warnings about the

prisoner, but still they seemed to want to be away. The cat could see that the man was weeping... But there Alexander finally led Richard from all the camouflage was nobody he could tell.

and khaki, the younger man still calling things to

Wrightson.

The major put his prisoner in a police station cell, to be transferred to a military lock-up first thing. Greeneye was quite passive. As Wrightson bid him goodnight he 325

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Ep

E ilog

o ue

u

In June 1914, Archduke Ferdinand, the heir to the

Austrian throne, was assassinated by Gavrilo Prinzip, a Serbian terrorist, while parading through Sarajevo. That city was the capital of Bosnia, then under Austrian control. The Serbians also claimed Bosnia.

The Austrians, angered by the killing and seeing an excuse to invade and conquer Serbia, sent the Serbians a list of demands. Some of these demands being completely unreasonable, the Serbians declined to meet them, offering instead to take the matter to the International Court at the Hague. Austria refused, and made preparations to invade Serbia.

Russia was allied to Serbia. It started mustering men on its borders. The great nations, bound by treaty, saw their rivals arming. Germany, allied to the Austrians, knew that France was allied to the Serbians. And the French wanted the German-held provinces of AlsaceLorraine back. Therefore the Germans attacked France first. To do that, they marched through Luxemburg and Belgium.

And Britain had a treaty to protect Belgium.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Which is how the Ninth battalion of the Norfolk It was 14 July, just past eleven o'clock at night, and Regiment ended up on the Somme in July 1916, Captain Richard had been lying in the cornfield since the early Richard Hadleman with them. He had in his pocket hours of that morning, coughing up blood and liquids of some letters from Alexander, who, to his delight, had other colours that disturbed him far more. It was taking been spared his great decision by being judged too old him a long time to die. He had, oddly, been part of one of and unfit to go. His life back in Farringham was much the few successful military actions of the war. the same, bar the blackout at night and the very

occasional sight of a zeppelin.

At 3.25 that morning, 20,000 British troops had rushed

across no-man's land in the first-ever night attack, Richard had spoken up at a Labour Group meeting in following

only

five

minutes'

bombardment.

The

October 1914, declaring, for some reason, that it was the Germans, used to the regular pattern of meaningless duty of every good Socialist to enlist and protect the daylight sorties and endless night barrages, had actually workers of Belgium. He'd seen the effect that battle had been surprised. Five miles of their frontline had been had on those children huddling about the fire - though overrun, the Norfolks firing as they ran along German that whole time seemed like a dream now - but he'd trenches, bayoneting men as they woke from sleep. It thought that he was a man, that he could make a sober had felt like a great victory, a breakthrough that might decision to go to war and fight to his own specifications. have brought this all to an end.

Alexander had seemed very wise on the matter, in bed

that evening. He'd said that, though Richard might be After the day looked won, towards late afternoon, killed, it was his life to risk, just as it was a Hadleman and his platoon had been sent to support a conscientious objector's right to risk hatred and group of engineers running a telephone line from the ignorance at home. The government didn't possess the Norfolks' incredibly advanced position all along this new soul of either man, he'd said. Only that of the man who frontline. They'd formed a marching group, making their found himself forced or jollied into joining up because it way through the overgrown fields between the trenches was the only thing he could imagine doing. as the engineers spun their big reel of wire on a cart

behind them, looking around them warily. They had to Even then, Richard hadn't been comfortable with that. take cover and creep on some occasions when it became

clear that they were in sight of the new German Now he looked up at the absolute darkness above him frontline.

and tried to scream, but it came out as a long, rattling

choke.

The soldiers of Hadleman's unit had been taken, as was

the policy, from neighbouring towns and villages, and Next time he'd stay home. Next time. As if there were their associated OTCs, so it was hardly a surprise that wars in Heaven or Hell, as if there was another he'd found himself commanding one Lieutenant battlefield he'd find himself on. The letters he held would Hutchinson. The young man was a good soldier, as have been enough, at any point, to have had him sent Hadleman quickly found, having had a lot of the bile home. In disgrace, yes, but home, and what was knocked out of him in his first actions. He still disgrace compared to that? But he'd never shown them occasionally seemed to look upon Hadleman with to anyone.

contempt, but he never showed it to the men, who

seemed to understand his distance and coolness more than Hadleman's own frustrated efforts to muster or 329

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befriend them. There were few others of those boys waiting for. It had taken all day to bring the horsemen who'd been at Rocastle's academy. Perhaps it was up to the line. This offensive had been seen as the one because they were all to be officers, and were thus with opportunity this war had offered for an old-fashioned other units, or perhaps, Hadleman liked to think, their set-piece action, and those in charge had leapt at it. experiences really had changed them. There had been

some stink about Merryweather refusing to embark his There came the sound of a distant bugle and the horses platoon at the rail station, and them being forced on to formed up. A sabre was raised, then dropped, and they the troop train at gunpoint. Alexander had reported a accelerated forward.

fine letter from Anand, now back home in his father's

kingdom. A troop of his father's infantry had been sent The Norfolks watched in awe as the hundreds of to secure British supplies in the Gulf, but otherwise the horsemen raced through the corn, a great cry erupting war had not touched him and he remained wary of it. from them. 'They must think that they've got a chance,'

Hutchinson whispered. 'Maybe they can see something So, it was thus that, towards the end of the day, we can't.'

Hadleman finally found the point that he'd evaded forced

upon him, in circumstances where he thought he'd The noise made them all wince as it started up, the finally won.

regular clatter of machine-guns. At first, it seemed that

maybe it was only an isolated post, that perhaps the There had been no great surge of relieved soldiers German line ahead that the cavalry were supposed to running past them up to the new positions. They'd overrun contained an isolated weapon.

passed a few reconnaissance patrols, who all indicated

that some swift new offensive was about to happen. The But then the rattle became a great roar and the air sound of occasional battle was far ahead of them now, around the cavalry darkened with metal. as the sun sank towards the horizon. They'd complete

their work in an hour, the engineers assured him. The first line of horses crumpled, their riders flying off Surely they wouldn't be asked to go forward again then?

their backs as they fell, some of them riding them down Whatever attack was being organized to dive into the into a crumbling mass of man, animal and corn. The break in the German line and open it up wide enough for second, third, fourth, line fell as the guns scythed back a conclusive push, it was already overdue. Surely, the and forth across the field. The momentum of the charge mass march would be on before they'd got back?

continued, hundreds of men spinning off the backs of

their mounts, the bodies of those in front tripping and Then on the horizon to the west, silhouetted against the hindering the ones who came behind until the whole sun, Hadleman saw the cavalry. Three divisions of them, field was a mist of noise and metal and flying blood. tiredly organising themselves into formation squares on

the other side of the great fields of corn that were

'Retreat, for Christ's sake,' Hutchinson was whispering. growing wild out here in the wastes. The engineers

'Why does nobody give the order? Why don't they - '

laughed

and

made

expressions

of

amazement.

Hadleman's own troops started to speculate that this The first whistle sounded overhead and the soldiers must be some kind of diversion, until Hutchinson threw themselves to the ground, their hands grabbing quietened them. He and Hadleman realised the truth at their metal helmets.

once, that this was the crucial attack they'd been

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'Christ!' screamed Hutchinson. 'This is the one! This is would surely come, for who could return home without the one Dean - Christ!'

wanting to face those who had wasted good men thus?

The shell landed noiselessly, for Hadleman, the sound He raised his hand, and tried to sing 'The Red Flag'. But too loud and close for him to hear. At least, that was his he was unconscious before he'd got past the bit about memory of it.

cowards.

Hutchinson died instantly.

***

When the noise ended, Hadleman was lying in a pile of He woke again in the night to a noise. He tried not to dead people, his head ringing from something distant. make a noise, though he heard many distant cries, oddly

hoping that it wasn't a German come to rob him. He pushed his way out, shouldering corpses off of him,

and immediately choked on the air, his eyes streaming. A face appeared over the low ridge above him, a muddied He slapped for the gasmask at his neck, and found that, blond lad in a dull grey uniform. 'Good Lord,' he along with half his pack, it had been dragged off him. whispered. 'I knew there were some Norfolks out here.

Richard Hadleman, isn't it?'

So, under nothing but instinct, he burrowed down into

the men again, pulling their warmth back around him, Hadleman blinked, the face wobbling in and out of until he was concealed in a dark burrow of flesh, with a vision. He tried to remember the name. 'Timothy? What little air.

regiment are you - '

He stayed that way for maybe ten minutes, then had to

'None, actually. Red Cross. A few of us are having a sniff surface.

about out here, because nobody quite knows who owns

this bit at the moment, and we kept hearing shouts. He lay there amongst the limbs of those he knew, for Now, if you can move, I don't want to get my arse shot some time, taking one full breath in three and coughing, off doing field dressings. Mind taking the hand of a filthy aware that he was getting the end of the gas as it drifted conchie?'

away. That, and there was some bleeding in his jacket, a

wound the pain of which rose and fell with his lungs. Hadleman reached up and felt everything give as

Timothy Dean hauled him out of the pile of bodies. He He didn't even think of trying to get back to the line. He stifled a shout.

wasn't sure where it was any more, or even in which

direction. If it wasn't for Alexander, he would be quite Timothy supported him by his shoulder and the two of satisfied to die, knowing that the war he was fighting in them picked their way off towards the British line. was utterly futile. It was almost as if he'd proved a point Hadleman glimpsed familiar shapes a few hundred yards of politics to himself. In this place, upwards of 400,000

away. 'Got any jobs going?' he whispered. British men were going to be killed. They'd lost 20,000

just the other day. He sucked a grim smile. It was like

'You don't need to worry,' Timothy replied. 'You're going rich countries deliberately killing themselves, leaving home.'

their battered remains ready for the revolution that

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

***

slaughtered with the other cows, it kicked and kicked

and they had to force it to go in. Isn't that amazing?'

The bells of Norwich Cathedral rang clear and sharp on

an April morning in 1995. Snowflakes were falling

'What have you been reading now?' her father sighed. steadily. Above the cathedral blew great billows of them, The girl had become a vegetarian last summer, just in whipping around the comers of the dark building as if to time for Christmas, and seemed to see old Timothy as emphasize the structure's harsh lines. some kind of role model.

From out of the building trooped a handful of very old

'You let her read what she likes.' The old man came to men in uniform, supported by their relatives and life again, and put his hand on the girl's arm. 'She's children. The Norfolks who'd fought in the Great War going to be a great scientist. Or an astronaut, or... or all had a yearly reunion in the city, though their numbers sorts of things.'

grew smaller every time. This might well be the last one.

'I'm going to be just like you,' the girl told him. By the door of the cathedral, at some distance from the

marching men, another old man sat in a wheelchair,

'Then you'll never kill anybody, even when everyone else surrounded by his family.

is?'

'I don't know why you come here every year, Grandad,'

'Never.' The girl was looking up at him, hushed, as if she said Richard Dean, leaning on the wheelchair's handles. was receiving a benediction.

'What's there to see?'

'And you will never be cruel or cowardly?'

'Old friends...' the pensioner whispered. 'Not from the

war. From before.'

'Never.'

'So why do you never talk to them?' Richard's wife Jane

'Then you'll live to be as old and as happy as my friends tucked in the blanket that had come loose about his legs Alexander and Richard, who managed to avoid time's once more. She ignored a glare from her husband. 'It attention for...' His own gaze wandered off again, but might help if you didn't insist on wearing that.' She this time it found a focus. Two figures were standing on tapped the white poppy that timothy wore on his coat. the corner by the cathedral grounds. Two figures that

'It's not as if it's even Remembrance Day.'

old Tim recognised from somewhere, maybe from a

dream. They met the old man's eyes, then smiled

'I wear it because it stands for what I am. I can't ignore satisfied smiles. Timothy started to laugh. 'For that's the that for their friendship. Besides, I always hoped that I'd thing about time, you see! That's the thing about time!

meet...' His gaze wandered from his words again, lost in It's like a big story, and it's never over! I remember, time.

when I was very young, and Mother used to read to me

in bed, I'd fall asleep before she'd stop reading. But the

'Great-grandad! Don't go to sleep now!' A girl of eleven next night, she'd know where we'd been. She'd never stood beside the wheelchair. 'Listen to this. I read that lose her place.'

they once found a cow in an army cell. A cow! Where

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And Timothy lay his head back against his grandson's The Doctor took Bernice's arm. 'There's a place that hand, his cheek warm against the man's skin. He springs to mind. A planet called Oolis. A few things need breathed deeply, and fell into what would turn out to be sorting out there. But it might be dangerous.'

his final sleep.

'Oh, will there be monsters?'

The white poppy had fallen from his lapel in his

exertions, and was left, unnoticed, on the pavement as They started to walk away.

the Dean family went on their way.

'Of course. The Oolians have wings, and beaks, and Just before they turned the corner, the little girl looked armoured battlesuits.'

over her shoulder and saw the Doctor bending down to

pick the poppy up. She looked at him curiously and he

'And will there be villains? And deadly danger?'

gave her a smile.

'Oh yes. And probably death, with or without a capital Then she was gone. The Doctor slipped the white poppy D.'

into his buttonhole. 'So, where do you want to go?' he

asked Bernice, who was shivering in her dufflecoat.

'Then we should go there immediately. Who else is there Earlier in the day, she'd consulted her Portable History to sort these things out?'

Unit again, and discovered that, inexplicably, the

casualty list for the Somme had changed. But then the

'Who indeed?'

thing had gone on the blink. The Doctor had refused to

mend it again.

Benny shivered again. 'There's only one thing that I

wouldn't want to face again in a hurry.'

'Somewhere that sells hot chocolate and crumpets.'

'What's that?'

'After that.'

'Snow. Does Oolis have any?'

'Perhaps we could go and do something good. Help

somebody.'

The Doctor glanced up at the snowflakes that sped by,

and frowned. 'But if it wasn't for the snow, how could we

'We could go back to Guy.'

believe in the immortality of the soul?'

'We could go back to Joan.'

'What on earth do you mean?'

They looked at each other, and they might have looked The frown faded from the Doctor's face and he grinned sad.

again. 'Do you know, I haven't the slightest idea.'

But instead they smiled.

The two friends wandered off into the city to find tea and

crumpets and warmth.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

And somewhere in the sky overhead, for an instant before they dissolved into mist, two snowflakes were the

same. Long ago in an English spring.

Autho

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Human Nature arose out of my frustration with how bad THE

H E

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my previous Doctor Who New Adventure, No Future, was. That novel had been an attempt to do the ultimate

Who story. It was huge in scope, far reaching in intent. It collapsed onto its face. It was never going to fly.

So my next book, I thought, would be small and personal, and not set its sights too high. I had to finish off the 'seasons' theme that had united the first three of my New Adventures. I also had to deal with Bernice's horror and grief at the end of the previous book in the series, Dave McIntee's Sanctuary.

In that book, Benny's lover, Guy de Carnac, is last seen charging into overwhelming odds, surrounded by armed knights, the implication being that he's almost certainly killed by them, while Bernice escapes with the Doctor. And at the end of the book, I had to make sure that our 339

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

heroes were on their way to meet their new companions major help too, as were a group of wonderful Melbourne in Andy Lane's book, which would follow. fans, notably Sean-Paul Kelly, whose hospitality

overwhelmed me. All of Australia had a hand in Human I was 27, living in Aylesbury with my girlfriend of that Nature!

time, Penny List, who the book's dedicated to. Most of it

was written with me lying flat in front of my computer First the villains were ecologist terrorists with Krynoid on the lounge floor, because I wanted all the amenities pods, then they were the Hoothi, from Love and War, handy and didn't have a desk. We had a burglary during then all thirteen incarnations of one evil Time Lord, who that time, but the thieves stepped right over my went about in a big gang.

computer to take the TV, and left the machine,

manuscript and all.

The last one was a possibility until series editor Rebecca

Levene pointed out to us all the problems involved. The I also took a long holiday in Australia during the time I setting was going to be Cheldon Bonniface, in modern was working on the plot, during which Kate Orman and times, with Rupert Hemmings' head ( both from I came up with many versions of how things should go. Revelation) being reinvigorated by Krynoids, Hoothi This is one of the two New Adventures we plotted spores or whatever. (Some of that stuff ended up in together, the other being her Return of the Living Dad. Happy Endings.)

In many ways, it all started when I got onto the wrong Then the setting changed to just before World War Two, train at Aylesbury station, and ended up waiting around but Rebecca and I were both fed up with Nazis, and I at the wrong halt, with a copy of Peter David's Star Trek: wanted the war that was looming on the horizon during The Next Generation novel, Imzadi. Gareth Roberts and I the book to be a genuinely meaningless one. Finally, had been talking about the possibilities of trashing Kate and I made the plot work, and I went home to continuity altogether, doing something that just ignored Britain to do the same with the book.

the series' accumulation of stuff.

A lot of the research material was found for me by a I thought that David had managed to do something friend called Esther Page, a specialist on World War moving in that novel that, through taking the story One. Books are always written by a load of people forward and ignoring the shackles of the past, broke working together, and as can be seen from the above, almost every rule of his book line. That in turn made me Human Nature was no exception.

think that nobody had ever really done mythologist

Joseph Campbell's 'Hero's Journey' for the Doctor, the In the accompanying notes, I don't intend to 'explain' the plot that's most commonly recognised in popular culture novel. Saying 'Do you see what I did there?' and as that of Superman II, where the hero gives everything underlining the point of every decision would just take up to discover what normal humanity is like. Fertile away a lot of the point of reading a book. Either you get ground, I thought.

what's happening, or you don't, and I shouldn't be there

like the elephant/shrimp comedy double act from The central issue of the Doctor becoming human wasn't Muppets Tonight, with a flipchart and diagrams, ready a problem. Everything else was. Kate and I hacked the to tell you why the jokes are funny. I have to rely on the plot back and forth endlessly during my stay in Sydney, original material to get my point across. and an Adelaide-based fan called Helen Reilly was a

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

What I will be doing is pointing up work issues, why I

made some of the decisions a writer makes, making The first two quotes (from issue 48 of the fanzine Paisley clear any references to the previous New Adventures and Pattern, an article by David Darlington, and from Melody the TV series, so newcomers can keep up, and generally Maker 27/7/94, Paul Mathur's review of The Prodigy in telling you about issues arising, and where my head was concert) are flung in, inside the narrative like that, when I wrote this.

almost as challenges to myself, to live up to that heart

on the sleeve open-ness that Darlington had commented on in that fanzine article about the New Adventures (and, as a sort of joke, to address him directly), and to Pre

r leud

u e

add some... noise, really.

I don't know why, as an author, I do a lot of things. I'm running on instinct a lot of the time. Sorry.

This first appeared in issue 226 of Doctor Who Clive is an old friend of Bernice's from Love and War. Magazine. It appears here by kind permission of Clayton The Doctor has that Little Johnny Piper thought from Hickman, having been found for me by Stephen Graves, the song Puff The Magic Dragon a couple more times in to whom many thanks are due.

my books. Gareth Roberts' Sylvester impression used to

include the line about clay models. After the book was In those days, Doctor Who Magazine had a little bit of published, a very talented fan was kind enough to send fiction for every Who novel, and I tended to write plots me a clay model of a Zygon as a result. with that in mind. This just introduces many of the

supporting cast, and lets Alexander display his full Bernice's 'recent acquaintance' is Sherlock Holmes, who Simon Callowness.

she meets in All-Consuming Fire. Opeks and Grotzis are

currencies from the TV series, and I get the first appearance of my signature owl in early this time. They Pro

r loog

o u

g e

u

play quite a big role in this one. John Smith is an alias adopted by the Doctor in the TV series from as early as The Wheel in Space, and more often during the Pertwee

years.

I wrote about five thousand words of a much more

standard opening for Human Nature, and then just stopped, because it all felt very blah and I wasn't Ch

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interested in it. I needed something that would give me a kick and make it all roar along, so I scrapped what I'd done and did this instead.

The title, Don't Forget To Catch Me is a line from Saint The book sort of stutters into life like the quick opening Etienne's Hobart Paving. This was before I knew the scenes of a movie, mostly to reflect Bernice's messed-up band, but it's references like this, which made Gerard inner life.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Johnson - who plays keyboards for them - get in touch John Watson, who was rather taken with Bernice, in an with me.

unrequited

way,

in

the

aforementioned

Holmes

adventure.

I was privileged to write sleeve notes for their Places to

Visit E.P., and even more privileged recently when In Love and War, Bernice's introduction, we learn that Gerard accompanied the Saint Etienne vocalist, Sarah she spent part of her childhood hiding out in the woods Cracknell, on Hobart Paving itself at my wedding. near a military academy which she was supposed to be

attending.

This is me doing a movie again, introducing everyone

during the bike ride, and throwing research at you quite Dr. Smith's stories are plotted by Steven Moffat, who fast so that from now on you tend to believe me whether these days is best known as the writer of the BBC2 (and or not I've made the details up. Doctor Smith displays BBC3) sitcom Coupling. We became friends after he read the Seventh Doctor's early tendency to mix up proverbs. a review I'd written of his previous show, Press Gang, in The Galactic geography displayed here is all implied in The Guinness Book of Classic British Television. More the series, as elaborated on in the Discontinuity Guide. recently he was my Best Man. He's always had some

radical thoughts about Who, and it was good to be able My friend Caroline Minall owned a cat called Wolsey, to give expression to some of them.

who was utterly disdainful of humans and everything

about them. There are indeed, as various references Artron energy: as mentioned in many TV stories. from the TV series indicate, cats on Gallifrey.

Cruk: the swearword of choice in the New Adventures, its derivation here made clear.

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It occurs to me that, so far, I haven't told you exactly what's going on, or who Dr. Smith is. If this is all new to

you, please bear with me: all will be revealed, and quite soon.

Maius Intra Qua Extra means 'bigger on the inside than

the outside' in Latin. As does Rocastle's other version. One was suggested by Jac Rayner, the other by one of the many Aussie fans who contributed stuff. Jac had Ch

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quite a big influence on this book, way before she ever had anything to do with BBC Books.

Little bits of Gallifreyan stuff keep turning up in Smith's Jac Rayner, now with BBC Books, and I were touring a memories, as well as thoughts belonging to the Doctor museum, and she dared me to use Boudiccan and to his companions. I'll leave you to spot them, Destruction Layer as a chapter title, so I did. I like to unless a story is attached to them. More fun that way. think I justified it too. Little limits like that can really

help shape a piece of work, as long as the scaffolding I'm particularly proud of Bernice's diary entry in this isn't visible.

chapter. It starts, by the way, with a reference to Dr.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

But now I've shown you where it is. Oh dear. But I'm really proud of the opening of this chapter. I think it

sums up what my Who work was about.

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I should mention that Alton's middle name may become important. But probably not here.

One criticism that's sometimes made of Human Nature Hurt/Comfort is a style of fan fiction where one is that we never get spelled out to us exactly why the character tends to another's physical and emotional Doctor has decided to embark upon this adventure. It wounds. There are a few references in this chapter to never occurred to me that the question wasn't answered. Dorothy L. Sayers' Lord Peter Wimsey and his courtship It is, just in a rather oblique way. And here we have of Harriet Vane, one of the greatest romances in Bernice asking that question.

literature. Harriet is a major influence on Benny,

incidentally. She keeps it all in.

ESB is one of my favourite sorts of beer, of which I

drank a lot while living in Lancaster. The landscape around the school is very much the

landscape of where I grew up in Wiltshire. There was a The Doctor's list of things not to let him do includes a similar statue, to a similar woman, on a hill that we reference to his vegetarianism, continuing from his used to pass on the road. And the school is quite like decision at the end of The Two Doctors. mine, though just a touch more brutal.

I'm surprised to find, reading this now, that the book Ch

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contains quite a few touchstones to my current religious point of view, which I try not to call anything, but which boils down to a passionate correspondence between

Anglicanism and Paganism. Tim's thoughts on going out of the window are exactly where this stuff connects to Just in case: the team Smith puts up on the notice Who for me.

board is of course the Hulton side, in which Dean and

Hutchinson would of course be together. In the practice I think both traditions are there in the series big time, match shown here, they're not. I do keep track of stuff often hidden, often operating behind enemy lines. But like that, honest!

that's an essay for another time.

The bunny hug, etc., are, of course, dances. H.G. Wells believed in 'free love', and smelt like honey. I

wish he'd stayed on after Timelash.

Wyndham Lewis and his vortices (Joan is just the kind

of woman to use a playful plural) are from the field of Constance quotes from Hamlet, using one of the art.

alternative takes on 'solid'.

The end of the chapter is a take on the end of a Press I love owls, and I try and include them where I can. Gang episode that I particularly liked. They've been audible outside the windows of my last two 347

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

houses. This one is here for a purpose which will be I'm a great believer in villains that are as clever as our revealed towards the end, in the subplot that keeps its heroes, and I think the villains here go about their plan head down throughout.

with great skill. They act like trained intelligence officers

would, and stay focussed on what they're after. I find The picture of Aberdeen I paint is accurate to my own people like that, who don't mind killing when it's memories of the city. I spent a lot of time on that beach, necessary, very frightening.

with the lighthouse and golf course. The lighthouse may

not have been there in 1914, but of course that doesn't I also did my best to give them kinship and love for each matter! And: lighthouses, Aberdeen, Horror of Fang other, something else one doesn't often see in Who Rock... I haven't been telling you where Smith's monsters. It's the central New Adventures thought of memories come from in general, but I'm too pleased with adding a couple of levels of reality to the TV show. Once that one not to point it out.

they've sealed off the village, overconfidence thankfully

overtakes my villains.

'Again?' tells its own story by the time of Lungbarrow.

The authors on the New Adventures line were aware of The line that Smith quotes to Fiona in the bakery was Andrew Cartmel's plans for the series to varying degrees, originally the physicist Richard Feynman's. but Peter Darvill-Evans had the whole picture, and

would fill us in on what we needed to know. The I've always taken extreme reassurance from the chorus intention of the book line was always to complete that of Voice of the Beehive's I Say Nothing, which seems to plan, and we did! It incidentally clicked with my own me to be about the fan experience, and connects with mystical concerns.

the quotes at the start of the book. Smith slows down

some of that chorus to Joan, semi-quoting it. Quotes weave their way in and out of a lot of my work without usually being announced as such, and sometimes Ch

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without my knowledge.

The battle of Spion Kop happened during the Second Boer War, in January 1900, a recent historical event for the local characters.

The title is from Kate Bush's Running up that Hill. Bernice's knight is, of course, Guy de Carnac [from

Sanctuary].

In this chapter, in a dream, appears one of the Gods of Ch

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Gallifrey, which were gradually developed during the New Adventures. The opinion I eventually came to, as we

evolved them amongst the authors, was that they're Eternals, as in Enlightenment, who have left human In this chapter in the original novel, I have Joan use a prey for the much richer material offered by Time Lords. racially-abusive word. It's there to show the gap between Here, one appears in a much more floaty form, but not the era depicted and the here and now, an echo of one incompatible with that view.

Smith's lecture about how complicated the assigning of

good and bad can be. Joan is a good person, but in 349

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

1914, this language was in the mouths of some good putting together between us. I link it here to the race's people.

sterility, as established by the Cartmel writers.

It also makes Smith realise that, in finding the language And 'periodic' here could only be used over a vast objectionable, he has a set of ethics which come from timescale. Time Loops are first mentioned as a Time nowhere, that he's not quite a product of his own time, a Lord weapon in Image of the Fendahl, and Greeneye feeling with which many on the fringes of mainstream stumbles on the same way to get out of them that the opinion, (those of the left, when the book was written) Doctor uses in Meglos. A Time Space Visualizer is first could sympathise. Ultimately, it's there to make an antiseen in The Space Museum, and it seems an apt racist point.

description for what the Time Lords are seen using to

watch the affairs of other worlds in various stories. I've never worried about its presence in the book, but

now it's on the net, which can be trawled through by The ring Dr. Smith produces is, of course, the ring that search engines, BBCi were worried about the sort of the First Doctor sometimes wore, and the tune he brings attention it might attract, and I must say I agree to mind is the Isley Brothers' This Old Heart of Mine. completely. We've replaced it with 'N-'. I think it still The Isleys are a shared interest between Bernice, the makes its point.

Doctor and me, and actually appear in Happy Endings. I

recently discovered, to my shock, that their mother's Tim's thoughts in the tree echo the Cad Goddeu, a middle name was Bernice.

Welsh poem attributed to Merlin. Post Battlefield, I really

took up the theme of the Doctor as Merlin, and followed The cat that Smith sees in his vision was the Doctor's the parallels as far as they went. For instance, the wink previous cat, Chick, a reference to Andrew Cartmel's in the title sequence echoes Merlin's (and many other War trilogy of New Adventures.

mythological heroes') loss of an eye to gain wisdom.

That Doctor Who Magazine poster of the Seventh Doctor hanging from some wreckage looks like the Hanged Man Ch

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ight

tarot card. I went so far as to propose a Who tarot pack to Peter Darvill-Evans. He looked at me sagely and went on his way.

The Martians Benny's referring to are, of course, her Interventionists, as Greeneye calls them, are agents of favourites, the Ice Warriors. Her Dad, Isaac, was lost the Gallifreyan Celestial Intervention Agency (as during a battle against the Daleks, when she was very mentioned in The Deadly Assassin), to which he young. Bernice's quest to find him was resolved, in a assumes the Doctor and Bernice belong. The Time Lord manner you can probably guess at, in Kate Orman's they encountered on Apertsu almost certainly was one. book Return of the Living Dad.

The Time Lords meddling in the natural history of Earth Timothy has acquired some of the Doctor's Venusian is a thread that surfaces often in the New Adventures, Aikido, as demonstrated in Battlefield, and some of the one of those team narrative things we were vaguely Eighth Doctor's precognition. We didn't know that at the time, of course.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Rebecca Levene asked me, since this book was set in Ch

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1914 and was going to have soldiers in it, to create a soldier who could go on to appear in another book in the

range. I think it might have been Toy Soldiers. But the book's author decided not to follow up on that decision, I I don't know why I'd want to do this to my old school. think, for reasons I never learnt.

Actually, yes I do. Despite the fact that it was where I

met the original Bernice, I didn't enjoy my time there at Wrightson encounters something in his vision that may all. The first Bernice was in my class, and she's just got be the Timewyrm, still imprisoned, but existing back in touch with me via Friends Reunited. eternally. Or it may be something entirely different. I

don't think anyone ever caught this particular 'open She had a look for her name on the net, after I told her continuity' ball I threw into the air. If any authors are what had become of it, and is boggled by the Bernice reading this, only in these later days has it become industry. She was aware of the character so named in necessary to state clearly that they're welcome to run Emmerdale, if not the League of Gentlemen one, but with it. During the time of the New Adventures, that didn't realise the roots of those names led right back to would have been taken for granted.

her. Hopefully, a few more children may be named

Bernice these days as a result of the expansion of mates of mine into the TV industry!

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The chapter title is a line from Why Should I Love You?

on my favourite of Kate Bush's albums, The Red Shoes.

The Seventh Doctor uses chess as a metaphor in many Jack Harkaway was the hero of the serials that the TV stories. Dr. Smith refers to an old hermit the Doctor Master of the Land of Fiction, in The Mind Robber, wrote knew in his youth, who's referred to previously in The while he was still on Earth. The Hoothi were the Time Monster, and appears in Timewyrm: Revelation. monstrous threat facing the planet in Love and War,

where the Doctor first met Bernice.

Reference is made in this chapter to the growth of the

character of the Seventh Doctor during the New Adventures line. We explored all sides of the master planner, gave him a depth that I don't think any other Doctor has had. The death of Ace's lover, Jan, in Love and War, and several other hard decisions the Doctor had to make had been coming back to haunt him for some time.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

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This is my Marxist chapter! Tim is, of course, mentally The title is a line murmured by Sarah Cracknell during paraphrasing what's written on the sign on the front of the Saint Etienne song Nothing Can Stop us Now. The the TARDIS. Ahem. I got the wording wrong, much to scene where Smith's party are pulled off their feet echoes Steven Moffat's anger, as he repeated my error in his one in Timewyrm: Revelation. In that one, Ace lets go of short story for Decalog, Continuity Errors. the Doctor's hand so he can get away. This time, Smith

doesn't let go.

Similarly, Dr. Smith gets the Lord's Prayer wrong, which

is an interesting character point, especially since he Smith's threat to August echoes one the Doctor makes repeats the line about our daily bread instead of 'lead us to his enemy in that book also. These are some of the not into temptation'. Unfortunately, the error was mine, many ways in which this book thematically rounds off not his. Which might be even more interesting. Neither the seasons cycle formed by my first four New myself, nor Rebecca Levene, both people with religious Adventures.

interests, caught the error.

Smith's words to Benny toy with the edges of Terrance Flavia was Time Lord President at the time of Human Dicks' famous 'never cruel or cowardly' lines, originally Nature, following on from the TV series, and not dealing from The Making of Doctor Who and used so many times at all with what Gallifrey time is like compared to in the New Adventures that they virtually became a Earth's. (This is a vision of the future, after all, and we credo, then Verity comes out with them in complete don't know when.)

form.

Romana had become part of the High Council following

'There should have been another way,' is the closing line the Missing Adventure Goth Opera. The method of of Warriors of the Deep, and is used as a theme accessing the Matrix is the one seen in The Deadly throughout this book. Some of these lines, and in the Assassin and The Invasion of Time. A flutterwing is a next chapter, echo quotations from Excalibur, one of my species native to Gallifrey, according to the TV series. favourite films, and apt for the Doctor's Merlin identity.

Bernice's archaeological tools come in handy here. They Death takes Smith in return for the Doctor's dream include an ion bonder, a standard tool which Nyssa bargain with her during Love and War, another way in made good use of in the TV series. The downs in general which the cycle of books is concluded. 'Another owl for remind me of the downs above my family home in Lord Rassilon.' Hee hee hee! And the gods of Gallifrey Wiltshire, which had flint workings and an iron-age are here directly identified as the Eternals from hillfort.

Enlightenment.

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

The First Doctor, on television, makes a couple of Greeneye into the food chain is quite a triumph for the references to his ring being spooky and powerful, Interventionists.

without ever letting us know in what way he means that,

exactly. I make use of it in one of my Doctor Who The last couple of lines were a matter of huge internal Magazine comic strips also.

debate for me, whether to keep them or get rid of them. I

knew they'd be popular with the audience, but I didn't The Monks of Felsecar popped up in some of my fan know if they were also true to the material. In the end, I fiction stories, and I reference them again a few times, think I went the right way.

most recently in the audio Seasons of Fear. It'd be nice if someone set an adventure amongst them one day. Then

I could find out what they're really like.

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The history retold here seems even more relevant now,

concerning how wars are started for reasons other than ethics.

The Doctor is talking about his victory over Morgaine in

Battlefield. And, as it turns out, making a bit of a pun. The military action described here is real, and took place

at this time and date. Also, various British units were In the first draft, the Doctor did just take Bernice and indeed forced onto their troop trains at gunpoint. go. And I instantly knew it was a huge mistake. Having

him go back and see Joan, that extra level of reality, is Conchie: a conscientious objector, one of the many who something that began in the Cartmel years on television, performed heroic service as medical staff and fire crew, and was continued to great effect in the New having been branded cowards for refusing to go to war. Adventures. Besides, if it wasn't for getting the Doctor to

do things like that, what's a Bernice for?

The last scene of the book echoes the first scene of

Revelation, to complete the cycle. As what Tim's greatThe conversation between the Doctor and Joan is one of granddaughter says completes the plot and theme of this my most scary scenes, I think. And it picks up on Love book. The white poppy is the pacifist poppy. and War, that pulling together of the threads again. In

this book, the Doctor finds that he's done to himself The Doctor anticipates Oolis, the setting for the next what he did to Jan in that one. Joan... Jan... Did you book, Andy Lane's Original Sin. That book begins at high think this all happened by accident? Actually, a lot of it speed, as it should to start the ball rolling again with its did. If there are accidents.

new companions, and Andy and I agreed that a set-up

here was a good idea.

And here's where the matter of Alton's middle name pays

off. The Time Lords, throughout the New Adventures, The ending echoes the start of Revelation again, with the enjoy meddling with the biology of humans. Getting Doctor quoting Oscar Wilde, someone else who liked to wear something shocking in his buttonhole. 357

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

And do you know, I think Oscar got it exactly right. visiting her, because at that point she was meant to

originally come from 1914.

But then I had second thoughts, and second guessed Adapting T

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myself. I started to think that what I'd written was way too traditional, and that wasn't how the series did things

anymore. So I wrote a new plot, this one starting with the Doctor married to Joan, and them waking up in bed together on a typical morning, with, as always, Martha I remember having a great deal of trouble starting the as their maid.

original novel of Human Nature. I made several false

starts and wasted several thousand words, until I That was the plot that I initially took to Russell. He'd decided to begin with the weird kick off of the quotations deliberately not re-read the book, while both Julie from fanzines and music and crash right into the middle Gardner and script editor Helen Raynor had read it. His of Benny's grief.

first batch of notes, and actually every batch

subsequently, sent us back to the book, until we were Similarly, in adapting the book for television, the working on a straightforward adaptation. And that's beginning was the hardest part. The first thing I did, when things fell together and started to work. after Russell told me he wanted a two-part adaptation,

was to re-read the book, making notes as I went about The first issue to deal with was the Doctor's motivation. which bits of plot were vital and which weren't. The not In the novel, it's left unclear why exactly he's done this vital stuff included, immediately, the trick 'Tenth Doctor'

to himself, though there's a dirty great hint that it's to that Benny meets, and the plotline involving the share and understand Benny's emotional state. We suffragette. Also, the subplot of Benny's landlord's secret needed a driving force that would provide a pre-titles was a second string there wasn't room for, though the sequence. So we settled on the chase set-up, and, after a sort of dialogue involved in his examining of Bernice's few meetings, we decided that the aliens would have a history device did pop up in several versions of Smith short life span, so the Doctor hiding from them wasn't a working out the sonic screwdriver.

cowardly way out, but an act of mercy, mainly to the

worlds the aliens would devastate in a normal pursuit, Also, I knew we were going to have to begin very much in but also to the aliens themselves.

the middle of things happening, so we couldn't spend

money visiting planets to get hold of what was still at The scarecrows came from Russell. The aliens were that point a cricket ball to put the Doctor's personality shape-changers, and looked like people. So a monster in.

was needed, so 'how about some scarecrows?' I've never

heard them called 'Jack Straws' apart from in that I wrote, initially, a very straightforward plot adaptation, interview with David. I think it's a Scottish thing. featuring only the storylines of the Doctor being human

at a 1914 school, falling in love, and the aliens hunting The biggest continuing debate was about the pod where him. I placed the cliffhanger at the moment the Doctor the Doctor keeps his Doctorishness. Was it going to be a has to decide whether or not to let the school boys open cricket ball? Another Russell solution: a fob watch. Not fire on the aliens. This plot featured Martha's family just because of the Time Lord symbolism, but because a 359

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

fob watch has a door you can open, an easy something

that John Smith can choose to do or not to do. Did The very ending is interesting. David plays 'run' like he's splitting the pursuit of the ball away from the aliens'

toying with the aliens, happy to be the Doctor again, pursuit of the Doctor mean two awkward, disconnected when in the book it's a dark sign that the tragedy has stories, as Julie for a long time thought there might be?

been played out. But that gives a nice contrast with the The danger was certainly there, but we fixed it to her havoc that comes immediately afterwards. In the book, satisfaction, which is always the thing worth doing in the Doctor having his finger back is the sign that he's production meetings. Julie has a way of knowing what his Time Lord self again, while in the TV version it's the viewers will get and what they won't.

return of the glasses (very Clark Kent!) that does the job.

One of the last things that got sorted was the time I'm very pleased that the coda, at the war memorial, is frame. For many drafts, Smith's courtship of Joan was as in the book. It's my favourite bit. played in dissolves of days and weeks. But it took the

immediacy out of the aliens' pursuit, and left them I'm also very pleased that, through accident or design, a looking rather useless. They became lovers, for many lot of the recurring images of my work appear in the TV

drafts, but without the many weeks, such a swift version. Owls can be heard in the distance, and were intimacy would be inappropriate for 1913. I think the first indicated in Russell's polish of the script. (There's flash forwards to the couple's future together give us also a lovely brush with an owl design on it in Smith's that flavour of time passing.

study, though you don't see it.) So the owls of the book,

Rassilon's messengers who watch over the Doctor, are In the book, the aliens adopt a range of human forms, there in spirit. There's a female vicar, as there seems to only one of which was really kept for the screen, the be in almost everything I write. 'Baxter' is someone little girl with the balloon. The balloon is a weapon in the Russell drops into dialogue all the time, but 'Saul', also original, and was for some drafts of the TV version, but one of his additions, reminds me of Saul the sentient the mechanics of trying to make a balloon deadly in church from my other Who novel, Revelation. visual terms defeated us. It's one of those things you can

do in prose which might just look silly on the small And you see what Smith is eating, in that scene where screen.

we're cutting from his speeded-up list of 'things not to

let me do'? That's a pear. One of those instructions, in Similarly, it's sometimes a question of putting down the book, and in the slowed-down version of what you solid markers to let viewers know where they are see, is not to let him eat that particular fruit. Because he immediately. It's 1913, not early 1914, to say it's before doesn't like the taste.

the war happens. It's Mr. Smith rather than Dr. Smith

so that nobody calls Smith 'Doctor'. Mind you, Smith is That sort of attention to detail is why I love working with from Nottingham rather than Aberdeen because David these people. And why I'm so immensely proud of this wanted to keep an English accent. And Smith's parents, adaptation. I hope you enjoy it too.

originally Sarah Jane and Harry, became Verity and Sidney (after the original series' creators) when SFX

magazine journalist Nick Setchfield mentioned to Verity Lambert, during her interview with Russell, that a FiFnal T

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character in the book was named after her. 361

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Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature – by Paul Cornell

Human Nature text is © 1995 Paul Cornell. Illustrations are © 2002 Daryl Joyce. This version may be printed for personal use only and may not be resold or redistributed. I'm amazed that I managed to write this book with a

floating point of view throughout. One of Rebecca www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/

Levene's most sage pieces of advice, during the time she

was presiding over her Golden Age of the New Adventures, was that prose worked best when it was characterised through the thoughts of one particular participant. One changed that viewpoint character, if necessary, only when one changed scenes.

I agree with and believe in that. But in Human Nature, I, the author, am hanging around the text like a ghost, dropping us into the thoughts of whatever character we need to hear from when we need to hear from them. The book's written from a vague omniscient point of view, and rarely settles on a viewpoint character.

Reading it now, the effect is like watching a home movie of myself whizzing down Everest on a tea tray, screaming as I fall from rock to rock, but always miraculously bouncing onto the next one. I don't know how I did that. I certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone else. But it seemed to work at the time.

If you've enjoyed Human Nature, may I humbly suggest that you take a look at my two mainstream SF novels, published by Victor Gollancz, Something More and British Summertime, which explore many of the same themes.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me. Revisiting the book has made me realise how much I still love it, and how much I'm still in love with prose. I hope you enjoyed it too.

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